Part 2

I came awake slowly. I knew right away I had changed back into my human form. Someone had even put me back in my clothes. But I didn't know where I was.

"How long have I been unconscious?" I murmured.

"Only a few minutes," said a voice next to me. I turned my head, my gaze landing on Isuzu. She wore a guilty expression. "I'm sorry, I was suppose to keep an eye on you—"

I shook my head. "It's fine. Um, am I still at Shigure's house?"

Isuzu nodded. "This is one of the guest rooms. When you transformed out of the blue like that you freaked everyone out. Hatori said that the cancer put a lot of stress on you and that's why it hurt so much."

One of my hands went to my back, touching the lump there. "Did they see it?"

"If they did, no one said anything—"

Suddenly loud voices floated up to the room from downstairs.

"Is something wrong with her?!"

"Why did she just pass out like that?!"

"Why is she starving herself?!"

Questions no doubt directed at Hatori. I tried to sit up, but Isuzu grabbed my shoulders. "Not now, you need to rest. Hatori said he would tell them."

Tears stung my eyes. "I wanted to tell them."

"Kagura, please leave it to Hatori. You're still very weak."

"No." I broke away from her. "I'm the one who has this cancer. I should be the one to tell them."

Isuzu stared at me for several long moments before nodding. "I understand. Here, let me help you." She helped me stand up. "Just lean on me and I'll walk you downstairs."

She helped me out of the room. I could hear Hatori clearly downstairs.

"If you all will calm down, I'll tell you," said Hatori. It became silent, except for a few voices. "All right. Kagura is very sick."

"Like a cold?" asked Ritsu.

"No, I mean she's really sick."

Silence followed this. Isuzu and I were heading down the stairs. I knew I wasn't going to make it in time.

"Just how sick is she?" asked Tohru.

After a short pause, Hatori revealed all.

"She has cancer in her right kidney."

Silence followed this as well. Then the yelling started.

"WHAT?!?!"

"How did she catch it?!"

"I thought only old people got cancer!! Kagura's only eighteen!!"

"Is she going to die?!"

"She will need an immediate operation to remove her entire right kidney. If we do not do the operation, then yes she will die."

A cold chill passed over me. So I did have a possibility to die?! It was a good thing I decided on an operation.

We reached the first floor. The floor creaked under our footsteps and everyone became silent in the other room. I knew that they knew I was awake. Isuzu wasted no time in getting me to the door and sliding it open.

Heads turned. Everyone was staring at us. I could tell that the wheels were turning in their heads. Everything was dawning on them. 'She's not starving herself.' 'She's pale for reasons other than staying indoors.' 'She has cancer in her kidney.'

I knew that all of them were wishing that I did have an eating disorder. At least those could be fixed right away. Not as life-threatening as having cancer.

"Hi everyone," I said, as if to break the silence. I couldn't believe how calm I was, considering how horrified everyone else looked.

"You're supposed to be resting," said Hatori, the only one not looking horrified. He glared at Isuzu, who kept a blank expression.

"I asked her to bring me down," I told him. "I…I wanted to be the one to tell them."

I didn't like the silence. Or how sad everyone looked.

Isuzu sat me down next to Hatori, so he could keep a close watch on me.

"You need an operation?" Kisa asked quietly.

I forced a smile. "Yes, but it'll save me."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" asked Hatsuharu. I could tell that his emotions were edging him towards Black Haru.

"I didn't really know how to say it," I said. "I just found out recently. We had this gathering so that I could tell everyone."

"Just like that?" asked Yuki.

I tried to keep smiling. "It's better than saying it on the phone."

Silence followed this as well.

"When is your operation?" asked Tohru. I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Next week," said Hatori. "I'll be giving the operation. Don't worry; my assistants are all female to avoid any trouble."

The silence came once again. It was so tense in there. I didn't want it to be left like this.

"Tohru, I'm starting to feel a little hungry," I said. "Is there any more food?"

"Oh, of course!!" said Tohru. She didn't hand me a full platter this time. It was a decent sized plate with plenty of food. My eating seemed to ease the tension and everyone started talking again.

"Can I give you a hug?" Kisa asked shyly.

"Sure!" I said. I accepted her hug, noting with some disdain that I felt as slim as Kisa. I made a mental note to gain a lot of weight after the surgery.

"I'm sorry," said Hiro, looking guilty.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked, letting Kisa go.

"I went a little too far. I didn't realize that you were thin because…"

I smiled. "It's fine! You only said those things out of concern for me!!"

Hiro blushed. "I-I-I—"

I hugged him tightly. "Thanks for being concerned for me!!"

"Careful, Kagura!!" joked Ayame. "You'll suffocate Hiro if you hug him any tighter!!"

"I'll come and see you in the hospital," said Momiji.

"Thanks," I said.

"Does Akito know about the surgery?" asked Yuki.

I nodded. "He's providing family funds to pay for it."

"Well, it's good to see Akito doing something good for once."

I talked with everyone for a long time. They tentatively asked about my cancer, and I tried to make jokes out of them. I was having so much fun with everyone, the time just flew.

Hatori looked at his watch. "It's almost nine. I need to get Kagura home."

"Already?" I asked. "Can't I stay longer?"

"No. You need to rest up. The surgery may be next week, but that doesn't mean you can go all out. You'll need your strength."

I nodded and stood up slowly. "I had lots of fun today."

Everyone stood up to give me hugs. I was a little disheartened to see Kyo still sitting. He hadn't said a word since Hatori announced my cancer to everyone.

"I'll send you some flowers," promised Momiji. "I've been saving my allowance."

"So will me," said Shigure. "Haven't done much with money lately. I think I'll send two dozen roses."

"Two dozen, Shigure-san?" I asked. "You don't have to send me that many!"

"Oh, but I want to!"

I knew there was no talking him out of it. After everyone promised to send me flowers, Hatori tapped me on the shoulder to remind me that we needed to get going.

As we left the room, I noticed that Kyo still hadn't stood up. He wasn't even looking at us. Even if he rejected me, I couldn't just leave it like this.

"Bye, Kyo-kun," I said, hoping to get his attention.

Kyo scoffed, not even bothering to look at me.

"Let's go, Kagura," said Isuzu. Sighing sadly, I nodded and we both followed Hatori out of the house. I was just about to get in the car when I heard a soft voice from the front door.

"Kagura-chan…"

I stopped and turned. Tohru stood at the front door. Even in the late night I could see the tears filling her eyes. I closed the car door and approached the house. "What's wrong, Tohru?"

She tried to stammer something out, but nothing came out. She started trembling, the tears releasing from her eyes. She ran forward and hugged me tightly.

"I'm so sorry!!" she sobbed loudly. "I'm so sorry I treated you terribly!! I should've thought of your feelings!! But when I saw you so thin and sickly, I thought you were…I'm so inconsiderate!! I never thought about what you were feeling when we threw those accusations at you!! Please don't hate me!!"

I managed a smile and I hugged her back. "I don't hate you, Tohru. Your assumption is just a natural reaction because I'm supposed to be a generally healthy girl. My feelings weren't hurt. In fact, just by making an assumption proves how concerned you were for me. I thank you for that. Please, stop crying. I'm going to make it."

Tohru sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Will you need a transplant?"

"Only if I want one Hatori said that people don't need two kidneys and can survive on one. Since my left one is perfectly fine he said I should be able to live a long life."

She nodded. "Thanks…wait, you need to get going!!" she bowed at the car, in Hatori's direction. "I'm sorry, Hatori-san!"

Hatori gave a slight wave, showing that he didn't mind.

"I'll come and visit you guys when I can," I assured Tohru. "I have to get going now."

"Okay. Take care, Kagura-chan."

I nodded and headed back towards the car. Inside, I could hear Yuki and Kyo screaming at each other incoherently. I knew they had gotten into another argument.

"Sorry guys," I said as I climbed into the backseat.

"It's fine," said Hatori. "I know Tohru means well."

"I was startled when she just pounced on you," said Isuzu. "She must've been really upset."

"I guess so."

"Everyone, hang on," said Hatori, starting to back up. It was going to be difficult getting out of there. It took Hatori a good half hour just to back up out of there entirely. "Now we can head home."

I was happy about having so much fun. I didn't realize how much it wore me out until I felt so tired. The silence in the car didn't help me. I found myself curling up in the backseat, falling into a deep sleep. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until voices startle me awake.

"Kagura!!" Mom's voice.

"Don't worry, she's just exhausted." Hatori.

I knew that I was home. And someone was carrying me. My eyes opened, but the lids felt like weights. Like I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long.

"Where's her room?" asked Hatori. I stared up at him, realizing that he was the one carrying me.

"I'll show you," said Mom, leading Hatori through our house. My eyes slid closed and I leaned my head against Hatori's shoulder. I hadn't expected him to carry me in. Then again, I did fall asleep in his car.

Moments later, I felt my bed underneath me and Mom tucking me in.

"My poor little girl…I wonder how she manages to stay so strong…" I felt Mom kiss me on the forehead, and something wet hit my face. I realized Mom was in tears.

"We should go downstairs," said Hatori. "I'll need to explain to you what will happen next week."

"…I understand." Mom kissed my forehead again before leaving me alone.

I managed to open my eyes again. This time I kept them open. It was dark in my room. But Mom thought I was still asleep.

I sighed softly, turning onto my side. It was hard to remain strong. Especially when you're eighteen with cancer. It's strange how I managed to stay strong in front of everyone, when I was so terrified.

I'm so scared, I thought, curling up into a ball. What if the cancer spreads to my other kidney? What if it spreads to my intestine or pancreas or somewhere else? And what about the surgery? What if I wake during the surgery? What if I never wake up when they put me to sleep?

My fingers sought out the lump in my back. A lump I loathed so much.

Death could come so easily to me. If I fell asleep right now, would I wake up? Will I live long enough to go through the surgery? I'm so scared…

The door to my room opened. I uncurled from my ball and raised my head. Isuzu walked into the room and sat down next to the bed. "How're you feeling?"

"Better," I answered. "I'm still tired, but not so much as before."

"Hatori's talking to your mom. Telling her what's gonna happen with the surgery next week."

I nodded. Silence filled the room after this. Then a question came to me.

"Isuzu, who carried me?"

"Eh? Oh, it was Hatori—"

"I mean, when I past out at the party. Who carried me upstairs?"

Isuzu paused for a brief moment before telling me.

"Kyo."

I sat up. "What? Kyo-kun?!" Kyo, who hadn't really said a word to me? Kyo, who didn't say a word to me at all when I revealed my cancer? Kyo, who rejected me? That Kyo?

"Yeah. When Haru and I entered the room everyone was freaking out. You were lying there on the floor, transformed and unconscious. Hatori came in and when he saw you he nearly panicked. I swear, he was about to send you to the hospital, but Kyo picked you up. No one knew what was wrong but he said you should rest in the guest room. We put you in there and while Hatori was checking your breathing you woke up."

I lay back down. "I don't understand…why would Kyo-kun do that? He never wanted to be near me before."

Isuzu shrugged. "I can't say. Whatever goes on in Kyo's head is Kyo's business. Anyways, try to rest up. Even if the surgery is next week, you need to preserve your strength."

"I know." I closed my eyes, feeling sleep coming to me easily.

I didn't like feeling so helpless. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't do too much or I'd hurt myself.

I just didn't like it.

I knew that the surgery was just the tip of the iceberg. After that came the recovery. Who knew how long that would take?

It depressed me that I had cancer. It made me angry that someone my age could catch such a life-threatening disease. But hating fate wasn't going to make the cancer go away. I had to accept it somehow.

Somehow. Even if I didn't know how.