Part 3

My night's sleep was a lot easier on me, given my own inhibitions. But it wasn't like I could stay up all night. I needed my strength for my surgery.

I did awake though. And to a very intoxicating smell from the other room. I got out of bed, slightly embarrassed that I had fallen asleep in the clothes I wore yesterday, and opened my door.

I was greeted by quite a sight. The main room was filled with so many bouquets of flowers. Roses, daffodils, snapdragons, peonies, honeysuckle. All different types, all different colors.

Mom raised her head when I opened the door. "Oh Kagura! You didn't need to get up, I was about to bring you breakfast in bed."

"Thanks Mom," I said, eying all the flowers. "Where did these come from?"

"Delivery people have been dropping them off since early this morning," said Mom. "Apparently when you told the Juunishi, Akito made it clear to the entire family."

My jaw dropped. "The whole family is sending me flowers?!"

"It sure looks like it." The doorbell rang and Mom rang to get it. No doubt more flowers to add to the bunch.

I carefully stepped over a vase of pink tulips and sat down in front of the table. It wasn't just flowers that surrounded me. Teddy bears, homemade pillows, and quilts were vaguely amongst the mountains of bouquets. All of the homemade items, ironically, had boar patterns stitched into them. Though I didn't know how they manage to make such things in such a short period of time, I was a little flattered. Sure, I would've preferred cat images over the boar, but the Cat wasn't exactly favored in the family and it would be rude to return them since they were homemade.

"Let's see if I can find someone I know," I murmured. I snatched up a card sitting amongst a vase of yellow daffodils on the table and read. "'Kagura-sama, I wish you the best and will pray for a speedy recovery. With much love...' Mom! Who's this guy?!"

"He's one of your uncles," said Mom, carrying in yet another bouquet and a package.

"Uncle? I've never met him!"

Mom set down the bouquet and package and took my card. She read it briefly. "Well, he refers to you formally, so I guess you've never met."

I sighed and looked around the room again. "If this is what happens by finding out my cancer, I wonder what will be sent after I have my surgery!"

Mom shrugged. "I guess this is a way of the family showing that they care."

Isuzu entered in, and nearly tripped on a vase of white roses. "Morn—agh! What the hell is this?!"

"The family knows about Kagura's…condition," said Mom. I could tell she didn't want to directly mention my cancer. "So they've been sending get-well presents."

Isuzu picked up one of the teddy bears. "The whole family?!"

"It sure looks like it," I said. "While I appreciate it, I'd like to keep the ones from my friends in my room."

"I understand," said Mom. "Well, I have to finish breakfast. Isuzu, if anyone else comes can you greet them?"

"Yes," said Isuzu, sitting down. "Let's look for the main ones."

I nodded and started searching through the gifts next to me. Just ten seconds into my search Isuzu put a small bouquet in front of me. "This one's from Haru."

"Eh?" I sat back up and looked at the bouquet and card. The bouquet was just a dozen dark purple orchids. The card was sealed in an envelope. "How do you know this is from Haru?"

"Because I know Haru." Isuzu left it at that and went back to searching. I shrugged and opened the card.

"'Take care of yourself. Don't try to overdo it. Besides, I can't wait 'till you can pummel Kyo again. Haru'. Isuzu, you were right. This is from Haru."

"What'd he say?" she asked, not looking up from her search.

"He said I should get better quickly so I can pummel Kyo."

She managed a light laugh. "That's Haru for you."

I laughed too, but then sobered. I could tell Isuzu still harbored feelings for Haru. No matter how indifferent she acted, or how nice she was to Shigure. I don't even know why she broke up with him to begin with. But she never talked about it. If I tried to bring it up, she'd either change the subject or get angry and defensive.

I didn't want to bring it up then. Isuzu had enough stress on her hands, helping Mom and Hatori take care of me.

"Momiji," said Isuzu, lifting a large vase filled with daisies onto the table in front of me. The card wasn't sealed in an envelope, but I could tell by the childish card that Momiji sent it.

It took us a while to sort through all the gifts. Mom finished cooking breakfast and helped us out. It was easy, though. Shigure had done as he promised and sent two dozen roses. Red roses, I might add. We all got a good laugh over it because we knew Shigure no doubt sent them to keep me in high spirits.

"Aw, Hiro and Kisa sent me flowers together," I said, lifting up a small bouquet of sunflowers.

Isuzu laughed. "Hiro can be a brat, but he melts easily for Kisa."

We both laughed.

"Eh? This is separate." I picked up a seal envelope that wasn't with a bouquet or a gift. I tore it open and pulled out a pretty card. I opened it, ignoring the card writing and looked at the writing on the opposite side.

"Kagura, it was quite a shock to hear about your cancer. I know I apologized before, but I still feel so guilty. I know everyone is getting you fancy presents, but at the moment I can't really afford anything outside of this card. It's a pathetic excuse, but I promise to get you something very nice for when your surgery is over. I hope you don't mind that Yuki and Kyo signed this card too, since they didn't have much money. It may not show, but they both care about you very much. I know I'm just going around in circles, so I'll stop here. Take care of yourself and remember that you're in our hearts. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call us. Love, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo."

Tears filled my eyes as I read the card. I sniffled quietly, wiping at my eyes.

"What's wrong?" asked Isuzu.

"Nothing," I answered, sniffling again. "Tohru sent me this beautiful card. Yun-kun and Kyo-kun signed it too."

"Hmm. I guess Kyo has a good side to him after all."

"It's no big deal."

"I have to agree with Haru by saying you should pummel him when you get better."

I laughed sadly. "Isuzu, I'm not going to pummel Kyo-kun. There's really no point anymore. I confessed to him, he turned me down. Pummeling him won't make him love me. And I…I think I'm beginning to accept that. Kyo-kun loves Tohru. Being around her makes him happy, so I won't hate her or spoil that for him."

Isuzu was silent for several long moments. Then she said, "Yeah, Kyo's happy around Tohru. But who's making you happy, Kagura? You've had to deal with his rejection and cancer! How many other eighteen-year-olds have to do that? Kyo rejected you, yes. But that doesn't mean he can just treat you like shit anyways!!"

"Isuzu—"

"And don't you deny it! When you said goodbye to him, he blew you off!! It's like he doesn't care!"

"Isuzu, please!" I yelled, tears running down my face.

"…I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. I don't know why Kyo-kun was acting so cold to me. But I do think Tohru can make him happy. And if he's happy, then I'm happy." You're a liar; you don't want him to be happy with Tohru. You don't even want him with Tohru…

"Tohru is a naïve idiot," said Isuzu. "She doesn't realize how Kyo feels. Hell, she doesn't even realize how Yuki feels and he flirts with her all the time!"

I laughed a little. "How did this turn from an attack on Kyo-kun to an attack on Tohru?"

Isuzu laughed too. "I guess it's getting out of hand."

A cough startled us both. We turned to see Hatori standing in the doorway. He looked slightly surprised to see all the flowers, though his face still had its usual neutral expression.

"Good morning," he said. "Kagura, it's time for a check-up."

I stood up slowly. "Okay."

The check-up was pretty routine. He asked me if I felt any severe pains, and if I had lost consciousness as I had the day before. Hatori gave me check-ups a little too often than I would've preferred, but I knew he did it because he was worried. I had a good idea that I was the first cancer patient he'd ever taken care of.

After my check-up, he glanced about the main room again. "Are these from the whole family?"

"I guess so."

"No matter. By the way, I spoke with Akito earlier. He wants to have a word with you."

My blood froze. Akito wanted to talk to me? Why? What was he going to pull?

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Isuzu, and it made me look at her. Ever since her 'accident', she'd referred to Akito with a lot of malice. I wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but considering how Akito hurt Hatori's eye, injured Kisa to a point that she was in the hospital for two weeks, emotionally and physically abused Yuki, and manhandled Tohru, I had a strong suspicion that he had an involvement in Isuzu's 'accident'. However, it appeared that I was the only one (besides Hatori) who thought that way.

"I don't think Akito would cause harm to Kagura," said Hatori. "After all, he's putting up the family's money for the operation. I doubt he'd want to spend more due to 'new injuries'."

"I agree," I said. "Besides, you said Akito pitied me because I was sick like he was. I don't think he'd harm me."

Isuzu shrugged. "If he does harm you, I'll march over there and beat the shit out of him. I don't care that he's the head of the family or might have a fever."

"I won't let anything happen," said Hatori. "And if he does try anything, I'll simply remind him of your cancer."

I nodded to this. I felt very uncomfortable about going to see Akito. But it wasn't like I could avoid it at all.

---

I seated myself comfortably on the floor in Akito's room, my heart slamming against the wall of my chest. Akito was on the other side of the room, looking healthier than usual. Hatori took a seat nearby, but it didn't help to calm my nerves.

"So," said Akito. "You have kidney cancer."

"Yes," I said, keeping my voice steady.

"Aw, what a pity. And here I thought I was the only one with a life-threatening disease. Well, that makes me feel even less pathetic."

If that was supposed to be a compliment, then I didn't want it.

Akito got up and walked over to me. "It's strange how cancer works. Tiny cells that refuse or simply cannot stop growing. And then it attaches itself to an organ of some sorts and slowly kills it." he stood over me. "That's what's happening to your kidney right now. It's slowly rotting inside you."

I shuddered. I didn't want to hear this. "That's why the entire kidney is being removed."

"Yes, Hatori told me such." He started petting my head with limp fingers. I didn't know if that was a comfort gesture or if he was mocking me. "You poor thing. Eighteen years old and you could die so easily. Whether it's in five years or ten months or even in five minutes."

My head shot up. Was he threatening me?

"Don't worry. With the mass amount of money I'm spending on your life, I would hope you'd live long enough to go through the surgery." He toyed with a loose strand of my hair. I eyed that strand, remembering hearing about how Akito roughly grabbed Tohru by her hair, yanking strands out.

"Um, thanks," I managed as an answer.

"But you do realize." Akito leaned in close to me, staring at me with mocking eyes. "That by having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you."

That hurt. I knew it was true, but it still hurt hearing that.

"I know," I said, wishing he would get away from me. "And that's fine. I wouldn't want Kyo-kun to be sad if anything happened to me." Liar, liar, liar…

Akito looked startled, as if expecting me to deny what he was saying. But he quickly recovered himself. "Yes, I can see it now. That damned Cat doesn't have too much longer to live on the outside, but seeks to have Tohru. Wouldn't that be nice? Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school? Seeking little kisses every now and then? Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…"

I knew I was crying. I could feel the tears sliding down my face. I knew what he was doing. Despite the fact that he somewhat pitied me, he was exercising his control over the family to torture the part of me that still loved Kyo. And because of that, his words caused mental pictures. I said that I was happy if Kyo was happy, but seeing and thinking about such things was not making me happy. I gave a small whimper and lowered my head, not wanting to see Akito anymore.

"Akito, that's enough," said Hatori. "Don't put so much emotional stress on her. We had an incident yesterday where she past out due to the stress. She was lucky enough to wake up, but what if she doesn't next time?"

Akito glanced briefly at Hatori before sighing and moving away from me. "I understand. I wish you a speedy recovery, Kagura."

Hatori helped me stand up and lead me out of the room. I was trying to control my tears, but they couldn't stop.

My feelings are useless. Kyo will always love Tohru. And even if Kyo did love me, when he turns eighteen Akito is going to lock him away for good. Either way, in the end I'm the one who suffers the most…

I tried to stop my tears when I entered my house, but I couldn't stop them. Mom was upset to see me crying and tried to comfort me. Isuzu was absolutely livid.

"That's it," she said, standing up. "I'm going over there and kicking his ass."

"Isuzu, don't!" cried Mom. "I don't know what kind of pain he caused my daughter. I'd hurt him too if I could. But he's too powerful. He could extract any kind of revenge on you and he'd have the entire family backing him up!"

"Do you think I care?! Look at her!! Her surgery is next week, she does not need the stress!!" she headed for the front door.

"What will it accomplish by challenging him?" asked Hatori. Isuzu stopped in her tracks. "Nothing. Kagura will still have her cancer and hurt feelings. All you will get is being ostracized by the whole family."

"I'm already ostracized," barked Isuzu. "Believe me, what Akito does to me can't be any worse than it already is now." She started walking again.

"Isuzu, please," I spoke up. "Akito really didn't do anything wrong. He just spoke the truth and it hurt my feelings."

Isuzu turned to me. "Truth?"

"He said that having this cancer wouldn't make Kyo-kun love me."

"That's what you consider not doing anything wrong?!"

"What good will it do me to hide from the truth? Please, don't beat him up! Please?"

Isuzu stood there for several long moments before cursing and sitting back down. "I won't hurt him. But I'm not forgiving him, either."

"I think it would be wise if you stay here for the remainder of the time before your surgery," advised Hatori. "I'll refuse any requests from Akito, but don't leave the house. Got it?"

I nodded. "Yes, Hatori. There isn't anywhere to go for me, anyways."

---

The next several days dragged on for me. Since I was under 'house arrest', I wasn't allowed to step outside. I could barely leave my own room! But I understood that Hatori didn't want any mishaps before my surgery. Though my lump didn't grow any bigger, the pains didn't go away. Nor did my fear.

Hatori went over the procedure with me about my surgery. It was first thing in the morning, so I would have to go to the hospital and be checked into a room the night before surgery. He said that kidney surgery was done one of two ways: through the front or through the back. He told me that my surgery would be done through the back, since the lump was there. He also advised me not to drink or eat anything after midnight on the day of the surgery, but since I would be in the hospital then, the doctors and nurses would know not to give me anything.

He didn't tell me any of the risks, though I'm sure he told Mom. Then again, I didn't want to know any of the risks involving the surgery.

So I stayed inside my house. All that time I tried not to think about what Akito had said to me, but it kept replaying itself in my head like a broken record.

"But you do realize that by having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you."

"Yes, I can see it now. That damned Cat doesn't have too much longer to live on the outside, but seeks to have Tohru. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school?"

"Seeking little kisses every now and then?"

"Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…"

Stop it, I ordered myself. You don't need this stress!!

But the words didn't stop.

"Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school?"

"Seeking little kisses every now and then?"

I covered my ears, but it didn't stop Akito's mocking voice.

"Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…"

I squeezed my ears tightly in my hands, but the voices wouldn't stop.

"…having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you."

"Kagura?"

I whimpered softly to myself.

"Thank you, Kagura. But I don't feel the same way."

"Kagura!"

My eyes snapped open, tiny teardrops sliding out. Isuzu was standing over me, a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?"

I quickly scrubbed my eyes and sat up. "It's nothing. What did you need, Isuzu?"

"Get up. We're going to Shigure's house."

"What?! Isuzu, my surgery is in three days!"

"Do you think I give a shit? C'mon!"

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Why? Because for the past several days you've been moping around here thinking about Kyo! I doubt he's thinking about you, but we're going to find out if he is!!"

"Isuzu, I haven't been mop—" I stopped and blushed. She was right. All I've done is think about Kyo and what Akito said to me.

Isuzu gave my arm a tug. "Let's go."

"You know Hatori won't approve of this!"

"Who says he has to know? It'll only take a little while."

"But we don't have a car!"

"It's fine. I'll carry you."

"Who will hug you so you can transform."

"I have someone in mind."

Mere minutes later I was sitting outside my house with Isuzu, who was waiting for someone. Sure enough, I saw Shishou not too far away.

"Bingo," said Isuzu. "Call him over."

I waved my hand. "Shishou!"

He spotted him and wandered over. Shishou, (Kazuma was his first name) helped train Kyo, Haru, Yuki, and me to some extent in martial arts. Out of all of us he had a strong attachment to Kyo and saw him as a son. I always respected him for it, as many Sohma family members avoided him because of it.

"Kagura," he said, giving me a small smile. "Are you feeling better?"

"My surgery is in three days," I said. "So Hatori's had me kept inside 'till then. This is my first time outside in a while."

"That's good. When I heard you had cancer, it was pretty shocking. I mean, you're healthier than most of the other Juunishi. I wanted to send you flowers, but I've had no time lately to go shopping."

"Oh, it's fine! I've gotten so many bouquets that we've had to put them outside of the house!"

"Well, I'll get you something for when you're done with surgery."

"Thanks!"

Isuzu sighed impatiently. "Whatever." She walked over and quickly hugged Shishou.

*POOF!!!!!!!!!*

"Let's go," said Isuzu, now a Horse.

"I have to go," I told Shishou, who was slightly stunned. "Thanks for the help!"

"Um, sure," said Shishou, forcing a smile.

I scooped up Isuzu's outfit and climbed onto her back. She bolted off of the family grounds. I suspected that a few family members saw us, but it didn't matter at the moment. "How much time 'till we get there?"

"A few minutes," said Isuzu. "I have to hurry, though. Who knows when I'll transform back?"

"Speaking of which, how will we get home?" I asked.

"I'll call a cab when we get there."

"Oh. Wait, why didn't we just do that in the first place?"

"I don't have any money."

"Oh."

As expected, we arrived at Shigure's house a few minutes later. No sooner did I climb off Isuzu's back did she transform.

"I wonder if anyone's home?" I said observing how quiet it was.

"Let's see," said Isuzu. We walked to the front door. She opened it, only to come face-to-face with someone she probably didn't want to see.

Haru.

Both stood silent, staring at each other. Isuzu shook her head and I knew she was putting on her indifferent attitude. "What are you doing here?"

I saw by the look in Haru's face that he was becoming Black Haru. I backed up away from the scene. I knew Isuzu could handle Haru in any form, but I couldn't. As I backed away I came in contact with a ladder.

Ladder?

I stared up to the roof. Yes, the ladder led up there. That meant someone was up there.

That someone was most likely Kyo.

Ignoring the fact that this would no doubt put a lot of stress on me, I started climbing the ladder. Below me, Isuzu and Black Haru were yelling at each other. I wished they wouldn't argue like that.

I continued climbing, and almost to the top I could feel the strain on my kidney. I took a short breather before continuing. I knew I shouldn't be climbing the ladder, but I felt I had to. Despite my own inhibitions, Isuzu was right. I still loved Kyo. He may never love me, but I certainly loved him. And I also knew I needed to see him one more time before my surgery. That's why I finally agreed to come. Because I could die on that operating table and my last memory of Kyo would be him scoffing at me when I left.

Finally, I reached the top of the ladder and the roof. My heart started pounding as I poked my head over the ladder, seeing a head of orange hair. Kyo was lying on the roof, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed. He was either asleep or doing a great job ignoring Isuzu and Black Haru's yelling.

I hesitantly crawled over to him, trying not to make a sound. I seated myself next to him, amazed that I hadn't been so close to him in so long. I wanted to just sit there next to him, not making a sound, but that wouldn't have been a lasting memory for me. I needed to talk to him.

So, I gently touched his arm and gave him a light shake. His eyes snapped open and he stared right up at me.

I managed a small smile. "Long time no see, Kyo-kun."