Part 6

My stay in the hospital was pleasant enough. Hatori told me due to the type of surgery I got I was required to stay in the hospital for about a week. It was quite an eventful week.

After I was put back into my room, Hatori went home for the night. He told us if we had any problems to push the call button. He also said that he would tell all the Juunishi that I was awake. From the way he spoke they all seemed anxious to know the results of my surgery.

Despite being unconscious all day the morphine and other medication in me to help dull the pain made me very tired. Not to mention I didn't have an appetite for anything, even though I hadn't eaten a thing all day.

My first night did seem uncomfortable. Twice I was woken up by nurses to go to the bathroom. I don't know what it was about hospital beds, but I didn't feel like going while I was in bed. Unfortunately they didn't want me moving too much, so I had to use a bedpan. It was very embarrassing for me, but I knew I had to deal with it if I wanted to have a speedy recovery.

When I woke up on my own the next morning, I was shocked at what I saw. It was like a reflection of the day the whole family found out I had cancer, but much worse. There were quilts, pillows, slippers, fruit baskets, stuffed animals, flowers, everything I could think of. Mom was humming to herself as she took care to a bouquet of yellow roses.

"Mom?" I asked groggily, the medication still affecting me. I had the feeling I was going to be groggy all week.

Mom turned to me and smiled warmly. "Good morning, Kagura."

"Did the family…?" I motioned with my free hand at everything as Mom came in and kissed me on the cheek.

"Yes," she said sweetly. "Mind you, there is so much more. But the morning nurses started getting annoyed so I had the delivery people send them to our house."

I nodded weakly. "What time is it? I'm a little hungry."

"It's still early, but they should be bringing up your breakfast soon."

I don't know what people have against hospital food, but I found it very satisfying. Probably because I hadn't eaten a full meal ever since I developed the cancer. Even with the cancer out of my system the medication they were giving me made me too weak at times to eat anything. I promised myself that once I got out of the hospital and was fully recovered I'd go to a buffet and eat everything.

While most doctors barely have the time to spend with their patients, it was lucky that Hatori was strictly a doctor for the Sohmas. However, I worried a little when I saw him. Even though he was getting full nights of sleep, he still looked so exhausted. I knew that he had stayed beside me all 12 hours I was unconscious. But I wished he would get some rest. As the person who saved my life he deserved it greatly.

"Hatori?" I asked one day when he was checking up on me.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Thank you, for saving my life."

"Oh, you're welcome. It's my duty as a doctor."

"I mean, it's because of you I'm alive now. You were the one who found the lump in my back and persisted on looking into it when I thought it was nothing. The cancer had progressed greatly, but not so far that I couldn't be saved. If you had ignored it…more so, if Mom had brushed off my condition, then by the time you would've noticed it, it would've been too late for me."

Hatori smiled at me. I liked his smiles. They were always so warm. As one of the most serious people in my family I almost never saw his smile before my diagnosis. Now he can't seem to help but smile. I think it was his own relief that he was able to save me.

"I'll treat you to something when I get better," I promised.

"You don't have to go that far—"

"Let me do it. I know I'll never be able to repay you for what you did, but I'll try for as long as I live to treat you to something."

"I appreciate the offer," he said. "But the greatest treat you can give me is by following my instructions and making a speedy, uneventful recovery. That will be more than any repayment I could ask for."

I agreed. Hatori had grown into the big brother I had always wanted. I promised myself that no matter what I would never ridicule or complain about him ever.

I busied myself by talking to Mom and writing thank-you notes to each of the family members that had sent me the get-well gifts. I also took the time to reread the note I had addressed to Kyo. It seemed silly how scared I was at the time. I should've had more faith in Hatori and his assistants. Ah well, Mom said that such jitters are natural so there wasn't a reason to feel anything about it.

I found it funny how easy it was for my to convey my feelings onto paper, when conveying my feelings to Kyo prior to my diagnosis involved nearly snapping his neck. I felt slightly better that I did manage to pull through and Hatori didn't have to give him the letter. This note wouldn't make Kyo love me anymore than my diagnosis did. Not to mention it would probably make him feel unwanted or guilty. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. Nevertheless I kept my note hidden under the water pitcher on the side table. Mom never goes through my things and neither do the nurses, so it was fine.

Finally, the day I had been waiting for had arrived. Hatori permitted visitors to come see me.

There was a mass flood of people! Everyone looked cheerful and happy, their voices loud as they talked to me. It was wonderful seeing everyone again.

Then one of the nurses told us all to be quiet, so then they had to speak softly. Well, Ayame kept carrying on so Hatori came in and "calmly" told him to shut up. Then of course he was as quiet as everyone else.

"You still look sick," said Kisa worriedly.

"It's the medication," I explained. "I need it to help with the pain."

"It still hurts?"

"Well, it's sore. But the medication prevents me from feeling full-blown pain."

"Oh."

"Does this mean the cancer's gone?" asked Momiji.

"Yep. Hatori took it clean out of my system."

"Yay!! Haa-san did it!!"

Momiji's cute cry caused a chain reaction in everyone, who then started talking loudly again. Of course, they all calmed down once the nurse came back in and threatened to kick them all out.

"So you'll be home soon?" asked Yuki.

I nodded. "I'm going to have to hand in my papers to my college."

"Papers?" asked Tohru.

"Hatori said that the recovery process takes quite a long time. There isn't any time for me to go to college anymore and they're still taking tuition funds from us so…I'm dropping out."

"Kagura-chan!!"

"It's only to keep them from taking money," I added quickly. "Once I'm fully recovered I intend on going back and finishing up."

This seemed to make her feel relieved. It was around that time that I noticed some people were missing.

"Where's Hatsuharu?" I asked.

"We ran into Rin on our way here and they broke into another massive argument," said Shigure, shaking his head. "Funny thing was; her face was covered in bruises. Makes me wonder how many accidents she's having these days."

I blinked. Shigure had those suspicions too about Isuzu's accidents?

Yuki seemed to know exactly what Shigure was talking about. Tohru on the other hand might as well have had question marks around her head.

"When you get better," said Ayame, butting in on the conversation. "I want you to try on this new dress I just made!! Do you mind Tohru-kun, since you usually try on my dresses?"

"Not at all," said Tohru, smiling.

"Wait, what do you mean 'usually'?!" barked Yuki.

"Oh, I'm sure Kyokichi would swoon if he saw you!!"

I half-expected Kyo to make a big deal out of this. Then I realized that he wasn't there either.

"Where's Kyo-kun?" I asked, trying to sound like it was a passing thought.

"He's not feeling good," said Tohru.

"Damn near threw up all over the house," muttered Yuki.

"Oh."

I tried to not let it bother me while my guests were there. Finally, Hatori came in and said that visiting hours were over and everyone had to leave. Slowly they all did. Afterwards Hatori did a check up on me.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"A little," I admitted.

Hatori shook his head. "All those people in one room wasn't the best idea. From now on I'm letting in three people at a time."

I knew not to protest to this. As much as I loved to see everyone, it did put a lot of strain on me. I knew that I couldn't rush my recovery or put stress on myself.

"Good, very good," said Hatori after the check-up was done. "I'm heading home now. I have to examine Akito and Isuzu."

"Why? Because Isuzu had another accident and didn't want to have one?"

Hatori stared at me for several minutes before he said, "You seem to know a lot about that. Yes, Akito has a hand in Isuzu's "accidents"."

"Why doesn't anyone stop him?" tears were threatening to fall.

"Kagura, calm down. I talk to Akito every time something like this happens, but it's not like I have any power over him. As for Isuzu, I warn her to stay away from Akito and not to cross him, but she doesn't listen. This last time she actually tried to jump him. Don't worry so much. I'm going to talk to Isuzu again. Hopefully she'll heed my words this time."

I closed my eyes. "Is it because of this…that Isuzu dumped Haru?"

"It does seem rather odd that she broke off their relationship after having that horrible "accident", but it's none of our business. If Isuzu wants to tell Hatsuharu what really happened, she will."

I said nothing to this.

"If you have any problems," Hatori told me. "Just hit the call button. They'll send a nurse up right away."

I nodded. "Good night, Hatori."

"Good night." Then he left.

I sighed heavily, turning my head to stare out the window. I always wished the best for everyone. This makes it harder for me knowing that Isuzu is having a lot of problems.

Isuzu, if something really is wrong then why can't you tell anyone? Did Akito threaten you? Did he threaten Haru? Why can't you have enough faith to confide in someone? Are you afraid no one will believe you?

I sighed again, closing my eyes. Isuzu worried me, but other feelings started to surface.

Why didn't Kyo-kun stopped by today? I don't understand; I thought we came to some sort of an understanding. Maybe not friends, but we've made peace. Is he really sick? No, Tohru and Yun-kun wouldn't have said that much if he actually had been sick. I can't have his love, but can't he at least give me his friendship?

I knew that the only thing that would comfort me would be to read the letter I wrote to him the night before my surgery. I reached out and slowly pulled the side table to me and reached for the water pitcher.

The note was gone.

I panicked. It was a very private note. Who could've taken it?

"Mom!" I cried when she entered the room.

"Kagura, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"My note!! Where is it?!"

"What note?"

"I wrote a note to Kyo-kun just in case something went wrong with my surgery! It was under this pitcher this morning, but now it's gone!!"

Mom looked around the area. "Maybe it fell on the floor?" she looked around the floor. "I don't see it."

I whimpered. I never wanted anyone, especially Kyo, to see that note. Now someone took it and was probably reading it right now.

I blinked. Wait, it was there when the family came, but it was gone after they left!! Maybe one of them took it by mistake?

That didn't help my situation any. The note had disappeared off the face of the earth, in the hands of one of the Juunishi who would no doubt give it to Kyo because his name was written on it.

I was depressed for the next several days. True to Hatori's word only three people at a time were allowed in my room. I was tempted to ask who took my note, but if they didn't know they would want to know what was in it. Of course, I settled on one person who might tell me.

"Tohru, did you see anyone leave with a note?" I asked casually.

Tohru thought about it for several minutes. "Now that I think about it, Hiro-chan was stuffing something into his pocket as we left the room. Why, was it something important?"

"No." Hiro took it?! Then again, he did have a habit of taking things from adults. And he was standing around that area on that day.

If I had the strength I would've strangled him. I did want to cause him pain, especially when he came in with Momiji and Kisa. He had an evil smirk on his face. This meant he had read the letter and had thrown it out…

…Or he had read the letter and had given it to Kyo.

My ill-mood was lifted when Isuzu stopped by. I was glad that the bruises on her face that everyone had been talking about were healing nicely.

"Had another accident," said Isuzu, managing a smile as she took a seat next to my bed. "You're looking much better."

"Thank you. The medication had ebbed away most of the pain and the hospital food has given me more strength."

"Really? Let me try some." Isuzu took a little carton of lemon jello from the tray in front of me. "Hey, this is good!!"

"Um…Isuzu?"

"Yeah?"

"Has Kyo-kun…been acting strangely?" if Kyo did get my letter I knew there would be a change in his attitude.

"Sorry, but I haven't been by Shigure's house lately. Why, what did he do this time?"

"Nothing. Well, he hasn't been by to see me."

"He's just being an asshole. Don't let it get to you."

It was fun enough being with my friends. I didn't have anymore incidents, but Kyo still didn't come to see me.

Then, on my fourth day in the hospital, I had a startling encounter.

On that day, I only had one visitor: Tohru. And she wasn't her usual cheerful self. She looked rather nervous and sullen.

"Tohru, what's the matter?" I asked, concern and fear rushing through me.

"It's nothing," she said, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm just a little down in the dumps."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

She was silent and unmoving for several minutes. Then she blurted it out to me.

"I'm in love with someone."

A cold feeling passed over me. Tohru? In love? Was it Yuki or Kyo?!

But that was an inappropriate question to ask.

"When did you realize you were in love?"

Tohru sighed. "Yesterday. I don't know; it just awakened in me. Right out of the blue. He didn't do anything romantic; he was just himself."

"Tohru…is it someone we all know?"

She lowered her head and nodded. I realized that was as much as she was going to say about his identity.

"What do you love about him?"

She raised her head and I could see tears falling from her eyes. "He's so…nice to me. He wears this gentle air around him whenever he's around me. He makes me feel so comfortable with myself; makes me feel good about myself. And he doesn't have to say anything; just be there."

I smiled. "That's wonderful."

"No, it's not!" she covered her face with her hands.

"Why not? Why are you crying?"

"Because…because I love him and I can feel that he loves me. But I know that someone else loves me, and I love him too; just not the same way. I know that if he knows I chose someone other than him it will destroy him."

I swallowed audibly. This was definitely Yuki and Kyo she was talking about. But I had no idea which one she loved the most. My selfish side was wishing that it was Yuki she loved.

But I couldn't tell her really what to do. All I could do was give advice.

"It's funny how love works, isn't it?" I said softly. "Many people describe it as the most unselfish feeling in the world. But how can it be unselfish when you know that feeling one way about someone is just going to cause pain for another?"

Tohru wiped her eyes, but listened closely.

"I know it hurts being in this dilemma. I know the last thing you ever want to do is cause someone pain. But you know they both love you very much, right?"

She nodded. "I've been pretty clueless about it though."

"Then they will respect whatever decision you make. Because if they truly love you, they will wish for your happiness first before theirs. Much like you're doing with them. You'd rather not hurt anyone's feelings so you don't say anything."

She nodded.

"You can't keep doing that forever, Tohru. Doing that will keep them both wishing. The pain of heartbreak is a terrible pain to bear. But wouldn't you rather just break it to them now instead of keeping them hanging?"

Tohru was silent again for a while. Then she jumped to her feet and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Kagura-chan," she said happily. "I know what to do now." Then she was gone in the blink of an eye.

She didn't come the next day. In fact, hardly anyone did. Hatori mentioned it being a school day for half the Juunishi. I was still bored all day.

And into the evening. Only one person came to see me.

"How my little Kagura-chan doing?" cooed Shigure cheerfully as he came in carrying a mass bouquet of roses.

"Hello," I said, sounding cheerful. "How is everything?"

"Nightmarish," he said in his cheerful tone, setting the flowers on the windowsill. "A lot of yelling over the past few hours. But it's expected."

"What's expected?" I braced myself. This was the moment of truth.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Shigure gave me a sad smile. "Tohru-kun confessed her love for Yuki. They're going out now."