DISCLAIMER: …::sob:: I don't DESERVE them!!

NOTE: Well, ah, cough. Long time no see, eh? Haven't updated since, oh, 10/19/03. blush been a good 15 months, hasn't it? You look good. Healthy. Yup…sorry. Read my author profile, they really jazzed those things up, didn't they?)

And also, no matter WHAT I do (I've tried like, everything) the standard >'s for thoughtspeak will not would not work! The squiggly thingies, asterisks and the square brackets don't work either, they just disappear! So, as much as it pains me to do this, the slashes "/" will have to suffice. I know, it hurts me too. ::sob:: If anyone can help me out with this, please tell me! If not by review, then email me Please! Pleaaase! I will love you forever and I have coupons!!

F-RECAP-LE: Honestly, I think you guys are better off just re-reading. It has been a long time…::again, blush::

Jake –

Tobias, Cassie, and I stood perched on the roof of the movie theater, shooting each other wary glances.

/Think we should start the distraction now?/ Tobias wondered.

I seagull-waddled closer to the ledge. /Marco? Ax? Rachel? You guys ready down there? Erek?/

There was a moment of silence, and then:

/Yes, Prince Jake. Please./ Ax's thought-speak voice replied, a tinge of desperation evident in his voice. Uh-oh.

/What's going on down there?/ Cassie asked.

/We are near the guarded doors in question, but Rachel and Marco seem to be arguing./

/What?!/ Tobias yelped. /Tell them to shut up! What happened?!/

/Oh, they are not making any noise. They are merely looking at each other silently with fiercely violent expressions. I'm a little afraid that this tense situation might result in an explosion of - / he paused, / - and now the two of them a glaring at me and although my Andalite body lacks the proper glands, I think I may be sweating.../

I rolled my eyes. I heard Tobias snicker.

/Two massive human Controllers are guarding the doors./ he continued. My pulse quickened.

/Okay guys, sit tight. One distraction, coming right up./

/Yeah, fast./ Tobias assured them.

/Very./ Cassie added.

Tobias launched off the roof, taking care to stay out of sight from the Controllers, and gave Cassie and I some cover as we demorphed. The roof of the theater was barren save for a few exhaust pipes, a door leading down into the building, and scattered piles of extra cinderblocks and bricks that looked like they'd been there since the Middle Ages.

"Were did you put the barbecue lighter?" I asked Cassie. Yeah. Take a wild guess what our brilliant distraction was going to be. Cassie reached into a large exhaust pipe sticking out of the roof of the theater and pulled out a long red lighter.

"I cannot believe we are about to commit arson." Cassie said, flicking nervously at the trigger.

"It's for humanity's own good." I said firmly. We made our way to the door that led down into the top floor of the building. As we expected, it was locked from the inside. I looked to Cassie, but I saw her arm already started.

Shiny brown fur coated her now muscled forearm, and her fist curled into a stump and hardened into a dark horse-hoof.

"I'll never get over how good you are at that." I commented, smiling. She smiled back and prepared to slam her horse hoof down at the doorknob. Suddenly…

Click.

The doorknob turned. Our eyes grew wide. Cassie darted behind a pile a cinder blocks and I dove in after her. Unfortunately, I realized my error too late: the pile of cinder blocks was way too small to hide the both of us. My sheer weight forced Cassie, thankfully all human by now, to tumble out from behind her hiding place. She looked torn between being angry and scared.

/Guys! Someone's coming up there!/

Gee. Thanks Tobias.

I reached out to pull Cassie back with me anyway, but the door swung open and Cassie kicked my hand away. I pulled it back. It hurt.

"Oh man, Tony, this place is gonna REEK!" a slightly slurred voice proclaimed. It sounded vaguely familiar.

"Come on, Chase. Find that damn exhaust pipe; we don't have all friggin day!" a slightly deeper, but certainly not more intelligent-sounding voice answered.

Two big guys, kids who go to our school, appeared on the roof. I knew them; they were on the football team. They were also the poster-children for mindless troublemakers. Big, mean, and barely enough brain cells to function. I doubted that even a yeerk would think twice before infesting one of them.

/Oh man, oh man, oh man. Tony and Chase? Jake can I please dive bomb them? Just a little?/

I seriously considered his offer. I knew Tobias must have had countless run-ins with the bullies back when he went to our school, and these two were more or less the crown princes of bullydom.

"Hey Tony, there's like…somebody there!"

Cassie froze as the two lummoxes averted their eyes onto her. I noticed Tony had a small cardboard box clutched in his pudgy fist. Both of them smelled strongly of alcohol and a certain smoking substance not exactly legal in the United States.

/Weed./ Tobias noted. /And beer. Jeez, it's not even dark yet!/

I started to emerge from behind the cinder blocks, but Cassie glared at me and I stayed put.

"What?" I mouthed silently.

"Hi…" Cassie ignored me and waved at Tony and Chase.

"Hey, I know you!" Tony pointed a meaty finger at her. "You're in my English class!"

I seriously doubted this, unless Cassie was secretly going to preschool and learning her ABC's.

"Umm, no, we have gym." Cassie corrected him sweetly, in a tone of voice I recognized as the one she used when talking to big rabid animals.

"Oh, yeah, Gym. Same thing." For some reason he punched Chase in the shoulder with a snicker and Chase joined him in laughing. Loud, hearty guffaws.

Good grief.

"Yeah. Same thing…"

"You're name is like…Carly. Or Kendra. Dude, you're totally Kendra."

/I hate to interrupt this thought-provoking exchange…/ Tobias interjected. /But we've really got to get going./

"Um, sorry to cut this short, guys, but I've got to go." Cassie got up and brushed off her jeans.

"Hold on." Chase scratched his head, just now realizing that their classmate probably shouldn't be holding a barbecue lighter on the roof of a closed movie theater. "What are you doing here?"

"Ummm…I…uhh…"

"Hey, were you gonna punk this place?" Comprehension dawned on Chase's face. It was disturbing, like watching a pig give birth.

"Punk…?" Cassie looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh! You mean pull a prank! I – "

"Dude!" Chase turned to Tony. "Dude! She musta been the one who knocked over all the projectors!"

They both looked at Cassie in awe.

"Don't worry, we ain't gonna tell." Tony assured her, with a mischievous look on his face. "But that was so awesome! You have to show us how you did that!"

Cassie stared at them. "But - "

"You should be on that show with that dude from that show." Tony rambled drunkenly. "You know, that dude with the trucker hat? He's on that show…about like, the 70s, bro. And he has this, like, other show, dude! That one called….like, 'Punk'd' or whatever where he plays tricks on suckas. Yo you should have a show, man, cause that projector thing was awesome! You made the paper! And…uh…" Tony wrinkled his forehead; apparently he had confused himself.

Cassie decided to play along. "Cool, so you think I'm Ashton Kutcher caliber then?"

"That's his name!" the two guys looked at Cassie like she was some guru. My eye roll was so severe I was almost afraid they heard it.

"Look!" Chase grabbed Cassie by the arm and dragged her toward the exhaust pipe. I bit back the urge to tackle him and watched them closely. Tony opened the cardboard box he was holding, but the label was too small for me to read.

/Acme Stink Pellets?/ Tobias read aloud.

"Acme stink pellets?" Cassie echoed.

"Yeah!" Chase declared gleefully, happy to share their pranks with a fellow mastermind. We watched as Tony emptied the box into the exhaust pipe. The pellets clinked all the way down until they hit what I assumed was a ventilation shaft.

"It's gonna stink so bad in there!" Tony laughed evilly. "Its nowhere near as good as your kick-ass prank, but its close, right?"

"Uh…yeah…listen, you better get out of here before they catch you." Cassie urged them.

Chase turned on her. "Nobody tells Chase what to do." His eyes narrowed. "What were you really going to do up here?"

Tony cracked his knuckles loudly. It finally occurred to them that their little Punk'd episode had a witness.

"I was…uh…"

"You weren't planning on busting us, where you?" Tony demanded threateningly. Ah, this was the Tony and Chase Tobias and I knew. They had been acting far too kind and loveable until now. The drugs and alcohol must have been wearing off.

/Jake? Dive-bomb?/

I was in mid-nod when Cassie made it apparent that it would be unnecessary.

"Okay, I lied. I was going to meet my uh…marijuana-seller…up here." Cassie squeaked.

I caught Tobias's shadow stagger a bit in the sky.

/Marijuana-seller!? Marijuana seller!?/

Tony and Chase looked confused.

"Yeah." Cassie said a little more strongly. "That's why I have a lighter up here. I was going to…uh…light up."

I nearly coughed.

"It's a barbecue lighter." Chase pointed at it.

"Um, I, uh…I like my…blunts…extra hot…?"

I stared at her incredulously.

/Jake? Jake? Did she really just say that?/

To my complete surprise, Chase looked around cautiously, as if he expected a cop to come skipping out from behind something. He leaned in to Cassie's ear.

"Girl, think you can hook us up later? Me and Tony, yo, we smoked the last of our stash."

"S-sure…"

Chase grinned and patted her on the back. "Kick-ass, Kendra. You are so kick-ass."

"For real, dawg." Tony agreed. Then he looked back at the door. "C'mon, Chase. We've got to sneak out of here before they find us!" Tony and Chase cackled as they barreled to the door and stomped loudly down the stairs.

"Dude! We punk'd the movies!"

"Bet Kashton Butcher never punk'd a whole building before!" Their voices fell silent as they snuck out however they way they got in.

I emerged from behind the blocks. Cassie looked at me. I looked at her.

/…What the hell? / Tobias wondered. /How the heck did they even get all the way up here?/

I shrugged. "Breaking and entering is like, their life."

/Prince Jake? Tobias? Cassie? Have you caused the distraction yet?/ Ax called faintly.

I looked up at Tobias. "Tell them to give us like, 5 minutes."

/Five minute, guys. Hang in there./

/Okay…/

Cassie opened the roof door and looked down the stairs. "All clear."

I gathered the hay from Cassie's barn that we had stashed there earlier and together we made a small pile. I tossed some hay to from a trail leading down the stairs. From there, everything else should catch fire nicely.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I can see my face on a Wanted poster now." Cassie smiled nervously and lit the hay with her lighter, which apparently could be used to make 'extra hot blunts'. I smirked.

"What?" Cassie asked.

"Nothing."

Immediately the hay burst into flames. It was so sudden, that our faces were almost seared from the heat. I quickly shut the door, which instantaneously began to heat up. Puffs of smoke leaked from the cracks at the bottoms and sides of the doorframe.

"Well, cross your fingers." I told Cassie. She nodded and we proceeded to morph back into seagulls. Tobias swooped down to snatch the lighter and dispose of the evidence.

/I hope Tony and Chase made it out fast enough./ Cassie said.

/To tell the truth, I don't really care./ Tobias huffed.

/What did they ever do to you back in school? Cassie asked. I mean, besides the fact that they are potheads drunk off their rockers in broad daylight and have the combined intelligence of a speed bump-/

/There are smarter speed bumps./ I cut in.

/Let's just say the alcohol must've given them temporary consciences. They have no morals, and if it weren't for this whole morph-away-injuries thing I still wouldn't be able walk right and there would be no chance of any little Tobiases in the future./

Cassie and I flinched.

/Yeah. But if I had some 'extra hot blunts' from a 'marijuana-seller' I'm sure I would've felt a little better./

I laughed. If Cassie wasn't a bird, she would have blushed.

/Well excuse me if I'm not hip to he latest illegal drug lingo. I had to cut health that day because I believe we had some world-saving to do./

2ND NOTE: Did I mention I was sorry? Anyway, please read and review. This is the first thing I've written in a loooooooooooooong while and I may have gotten a little rusty. Assuming I had anything to rust in the first place blush and, uh, I don't really have time to write a Reader's Response for this chapter, but for the next one, w00t w00t!

Lastly, I made a livejournal :D AND joined 2 Animorphs communities. Y'all should join, 'tis good! My livejournal username is FreakApple, come visit me!