A/n : Okay, I wrote this as part of the next chapter a loooong time
ago..was v. tired when I wrote it.is v. short.is v. bad ....but I have to
post something since I am such a procrastinator and won't get a chance
again for a while! Sorry for the inconvenience!! Next chapter will knock
your socks off (if you're wearing socks).
Disclaimer: All West-Side-Story-related music (I Feel Pretty) belongs not
to me, but to a composer whose name I forget.
CHAPTER TWO - In Which Readers Experience Bad Grammar And Punctuation In A Boring Office Waiting Room And Fall Asleep At Their Computer Monitors Due To The Author's Extreme Rambling
Sylvia snapped her bubble gum and let out a loooong, booooored sigh.
She was sitting behind the check-in counter of a v. large but v. empty beige waiting room, with her eyes glazing over and her mind falling asleep. Of course, there were no customers. This was the office of Rent-A-Witch (as seen on TV!), but it had seen better times. Malevolent witches just weren't needed anymore - these days, regular people needed no help in carrying out evil deeds (such as mainstream television and Abercrombie and Fitch stores).
So poor little unimaginative Sylvia was bored to tears...she had already re- read last year's collection of "Wicked Weekly" magazines, called her mother, sister, and great-great aunt twice removed, and painted her nails...fifteen times.
Sylvia protested against this assessment of her uselessness.
"But this shade is so gorgeous! Just saw it in this month's CosmoWitch...I think it's so cute, my boyfriend will just love it I know because I said to him this morning, I said"
The narrator ignored this babbling and gazed at Sylvia's nails: perfect ovals slathered with blood-red polish and emblazoned with tiny black bats that flutter their wings every 5 seconds.
The narrator gazed at her own nails: unpolished, stubby, chipped, surrounded by hangnails.
She then shrieked at Sylvia for being a boring character and making this story into a cruddy mess, which scared the bats off the witch's nails and into a frenzied tornado of cute little black wings.
Of course, at that very moment, for the first time in five months....
The phone on Sylvia's desk rang.
After gasping, flicking away wayward bats, and giving the disgruntled narrator a "See-I'm-Not-So-Boring-After-All" glare, the witch answered. "Yes this IS 1-800-RENT-A-WITCH!!! HOW may I help YOUUUU???" After listening for a moment, she responded, "Yes YES of COURSE! I'll just go check her calendar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ignoring the retching narrator, Sylvia pushed the phone's HOLD button, then proceeded to count to twenty. She picked up the receiver. "You are in LUCK! Our BEST witch, HAGRELLA, is FREE TOMORROW!! Yes, yes YES, I'll have HER call YOU for the delicate arrangements RIGHT AWAY! Oh, ma'am, thank YOU for USING RENT-A-WITCH! HAVE A beee-aUtiful day!!!!" She hung up.
The narrator and several of the bats had passed out from Sylvia's extreme use of exclamation pointage, so Sylvia left a message on Hagrella's voice mail and then, without further ado, draped a glittery black scarf around her neck. She was leaving early for a date --- no one at the office would care; they finally got a call!
Humming, "I feel witchy, Oh so witchy, I feel witchy and wicked and meannnn!!", Sylvia left the room.
****do your fingernails bother u??? Join the club!!!! Next chapter : the abandonment of two wicked children! Sorry for crappy chapter....am so tired~~! Send me some evil reviews!!
CHAPTER TWO - In Which Readers Experience Bad Grammar And Punctuation In A Boring Office Waiting Room And Fall Asleep At Their Computer Monitors Due To The Author's Extreme Rambling
Sylvia snapped her bubble gum and let out a loooong, booooored sigh.
She was sitting behind the check-in counter of a v. large but v. empty beige waiting room, with her eyes glazing over and her mind falling asleep. Of course, there were no customers. This was the office of Rent-A-Witch (as seen on TV!), but it had seen better times. Malevolent witches just weren't needed anymore - these days, regular people needed no help in carrying out evil deeds (such as mainstream television and Abercrombie and Fitch stores).
So poor little unimaginative Sylvia was bored to tears...she had already re- read last year's collection of "Wicked Weekly" magazines, called her mother, sister, and great-great aunt twice removed, and painted her nails...fifteen times.
Sylvia protested against this assessment of her uselessness.
"But this shade is so gorgeous! Just saw it in this month's CosmoWitch...I think it's so cute, my boyfriend will just love it I know because I said to him this morning, I said"
The narrator ignored this babbling and gazed at Sylvia's nails: perfect ovals slathered with blood-red polish and emblazoned with tiny black bats that flutter their wings every 5 seconds.
The narrator gazed at her own nails: unpolished, stubby, chipped, surrounded by hangnails.
She then shrieked at Sylvia for being a boring character and making this story into a cruddy mess, which scared the bats off the witch's nails and into a frenzied tornado of cute little black wings.
Of course, at that very moment, for the first time in five months....
The phone on Sylvia's desk rang.
After gasping, flicking away wayward bats, and giving the disgruntled narrator a "See-I'm-Not-So-Boring-After-All" glare, the witch answered. "Yes this IS 1-800-RENT-A-WITCH!!! HOW may I help YOUUUU???" After listening for a moment, she responded, "Yes YES of COURSE! I'll just go check her calendar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ignoring the retching narrator, Sylvia pushed the phone's HOLD button, then proceeded to count to twenty. She picked up the receiver. "You are in LUCK! Our BEST witch, HAGRELLA, is FREE TOMORROW!! Yes, yes YES, I'll have HER call YOU for the delicate arrangements RIGHT AWAY! Oh, ma'am, thank YOU for USING RENT-A-WITCH! HAVE A beee-aUtiful day!!!!" She hung up.
The narrator and several of the bats had passed out from Sylvia's extreme use of exclamation pointage, so Sylvia left a message on Hagrella's voice mail and then, without further ado, draped a glittery black scarf around her neck. She was leaving early for a date --- no one at the office would care; they finally got a call!
Humming, "I feel witchy, Oh so witchy, I feel witchy and wicked and meannnn!!", Sylvia left the room.
****do your fingernails bother u??? Join the club!!!! Next chapter : the abandonment of two wicked children! Sorry for crappy chapter....am so tired~~! Send me some evil reviews!!