Part 16

My body froze in horror at Akito's words. My jaw went slack with the wave of shock that currently had a death grip on me. I didn't know how to respond to it. All I could do was stare up at him, praying hopelessly that he was somehow lying.

"I'm so glad to see that filthy little girl gone," said Akito, smiling in his twisted way. "She was ruining the family; turning us against each other, everyone being so miserable—"

"You're a liar!!!!!!!" I shrieked suddenly. Gone were my fear, and my sadness. In their place was an uncontrollable rage, spilling out of me like the tears were spilling out of my eyes. "You're nothing but a FUCKING LIAR!!!!! TOHRU DIDN'T TEAR OUR FAMILY APART!!!! THE ONLY REASON ANY OF US ARE SO CLOSE NOW WAS BECAUSE OF HER!!!!!!! IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE THE ONE TEARING OUR FAMILY APART!!!!!!!"

Fury leapt into Akito's dark eyes. He started breathing heavily through clenched teeth. If my strength was at its full mark, I would've pummeled him into pulp. But all I could do was lay there, breathing just as heavily and glare at him with all the hate in my heart.

"How dare you talk to me that way?!" he growled, his hand balling up into a fist. "I'm head of this family!! I control all your lives!!!" he raised his fist. "And it looks like your punishment that put you in a coma wasn't enough to clean your smart-ass attitude!!"

I knew he was going to punch me, but I was too angry to care. I just glared unblinkingly at him through my tears, not bothering to flinch as he brought his fist down towards my head.

But another hand caught his wrist just inches before his fist could connect with my head. Akito turned, infuriated with whoever dared to stop him, but all protests died before they came out. I wiped away my tears and saw who it was.

Hatori stood behind Akito, gripping his wrist very tightly. He had a look of suppressed rage on his face.

"I thought I told you to stay away from Kagura," snapped Hatori. "That was part of the deal, wasn't it?"

Akito yanked his wrist out of Hatori's grip, but the rage had faded.

"Of course," he said calmly. "I don't know what came over me." he glanced towards me. "Good luck with your recovery, Kagura."

With that said he swept out of the room. Hatori took a seat next to my bed. "Are you all right?"

Try as I might, I couldn't force myself to say 'yes'. All I could do was stare at Hatori, feeling completely betrayed. "Did you really do it? Let Yun-kun be forced back into Akito's hands? Let Kyo-kun be put into his isolation? And…" I trailed off. I couldn't bear to mention Tohru.

Hatori let out a shaky sigh. "The confrontation was a terrible one, Kagura. When I got there both Akito and Tohru had bruised faces. I've seen worse bruises on Akito when he tried to beat up Isuzu, but the fury on his face…it was truly frightening.

"His first order was to lock Yuki into isolation and kill Tohru and Kyo. I'm serious; he was really going to kill them. I tried to reason with him, but without Shigure my pleas didn't have much merit. He even pulled a sword out from somewhere! Everything was just chaotic; Momiji and Kisa were shielding Tohru, crying and begging Akito to stop. Ayame threatened vengeance if Akito followed through with it. Everyone was just shouting and I was trying to prevent Akito from hacking Tohru and Kyo into pieces." he unbuttoned his shirt and showed a bandage that was on his chest. "It's just a flesh wound, but he was angry enough to cut me.

"He finally did calm down, but his vindictiveness wasn't gone. He decided that killing them wouldn't be fun; he would rather torture them. First he had Kyo dragged away to the house where the Cat is traditionally locked up. Then he ordered me to erase Tohru's memories with Yuki still there.

"I outright refused of course, evening giving the excuse that my wound effected my concentration. That's when Akito brought you up. He threatened to sabotage your recovery; do severe damage to your remaining kidney. Not only that, he threatened to banish you from the family entirely; meaning I wouldn't be able to help you anymore because I strictly serve the Sohma family. And since I know every aspect of your condition, another doctor might mess up if anything were to happen to you.

"Then Tohru stood up. After speaking with everyone she willingly offered herself up. And I…" Hatori trailed off and looked away.

I closed my eyes, feeling tremors all through me. "That explains everything. That explains why no one will come to see me and why you've been avoiding me. This is all my fault."

"No Kagura—"

"If I hadn't kissed Kyo-kun here, then Akito wouldn't have seen us. And if I didn't have cancer, then his threats wouldn't have had any merit!!" Tears were cascading down my face. "And if I didn't have cancer, then everything would've remained the same!!!!" I started sobbing hysterically, shielding my eyes with my hands.

"Kagura—"

"It's all fault!! Oh God!!!" My wails echoed off the walls. "Kyo-kun!!! Yun-kun!!! Tohru!!!"

"Kagura…" Hatori trailed off. Then I felt him move in closer and pull me into a loose, but comforting embrace. "It's not your fault. You're just a victim here. No one holds you at fault. Please don't do this to yourself."

My sobs overcame me and I could no longer speak. All I could do was sob loudly into Hatori's shoulder and tremble so violently that it shook us both.

I seemed to lose all aspects of time during my hospital stay. I just seemed to shut off. I couldn't respond to Mom's comforting words or Hatori's statements. All I did was stare at the ceiling, thinking about my three friends who now seemed more far away than ever.

Just a month or so ago we all went on that date to that candy shop, I thought to myself. Why couldn't time just stop for us then? Is it so impossible for all of us to be together? Why? We're all human beings; no one has the right to do this to us!!

Akito has the right, came my response. He's the head of the family and his word is law. And even if you were to oppose him, there are many other Sohmas who worship him and would gladly do as he asked. Don't you see? He won! He did the only thing he could think of to pull you all apart and he succeeded. You can't overrule when the Cat is isolated. And even if Yun-kun were to escape from Akito, Tohru's memories of us are gone so she wouldn't remember their love. She wouldn't even remember him!! It's so much like Hatori and Kana—

Shut up!! I yelled back, covering my ears. I already know all this!! Akito's ruined our lives and he'll do it again in a heartbeat!!

Because I stopped paying attention to everything, I was a little surprised one day to see Mom packing up.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Mom looked up, surprised. "Oh, you're getting discharged today. Hatori told you yesterday."

"Oh." It was time for me to go home. Surrounded by Juunishi who no doubt blamed me for everything that happened. Forced to face Akito with his evil satisfied smirks.

I wished I was still in my coma.

"Hatori brought his car," said Mom. "Since your back is healing nicely he said we don't have to take special caution with you. So we'll be riding in his car."

I said nothing. I knew Mom was trying to keep me cheerful, but it really wasn't working. I doubted I would ever be cheerful again.

The ride home was in silence. Hatori and Mom didn't even try to make conversation with me, and I didn't try to speak. I just wanted to disappear, but I couldn't. I needed to be close by to Hatori so he could help me if something went wrong. Not that I cared if anything went wrong anymore.

Finally, we arrived at the Sohma House. Much to my own disdain Akito was there to greet us. Once we were inside the compound however, I realized he wasn't alone. Kureno was waiting with him.

As was Yuki.

I stared at Yuki for a brief moment. He was avoiding looking at me. Once again guilt knifed through me, knowing I was the cause of this.

"Ah Kagura," said Akito pleasantly. "Is—"

I walked away from him, not even bothering to pretend to be pleased to see him. I wanted to hurt him; cause him so much pain so he would realize just what I was going through.

I walked straight into my house and to my bedroom. I slammed my door shut and fell face-first onto my bed. It had been so long since I had been home; but I didn't have the welcome feeling I did the last time I was discharged. All I felt was this painful guilt that threatened to consume me.

"Yun-kun, Tohru…Kyo-kun," I murmured into my pillow. "Why did things have to turn out this way?"

The pain still held tight within me as the days passed. The days were getting colder and I could tell snow would fall soon. Generally that made me happy, but I couldn't feel happy this time.

Mom tried to be as cheerful as possible; each night she cooked my favorite meals and she bought me gifts. While it did help to raise my spirits, it sure didn't dispel the guilt. A guilt that grew as I saw no visits from my fellow Juunishi. Despite Hatori's denials, I could tell they blamed me for what happened to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. And rightfully so.

But, I wanted to see them all so badly. Akito was keeping Yuki so close to him I never even saw him outside. And I didn't even know where Tohru's relatives lived. Hatori probably had to modify their memories too to avoid "problems". Like Tohru regaining her memories.

That left Kyo. But everyone was forbidden to interact with the Cat once he entered isolation. I doubt the Juunishi kept to this rule, but I still missed him. I really wanted to see him, but I knew no one would let me. And Akito would probably freak if I did see him.

Then again, that would make all the more seeing him bittersweet. I could finally see Kyo, and that would be a big 'fuck you' to Akito.

I had to wait, though. Hatori sprung random visits on me and Mom was home a lot, save going shopping. I had to wait and make sure to go see him on a day when Mom was out and Hatori couldn't stop by. After a week, that day finally came.

I made sure to bundle up tightly. I didn't know how long I would be outside, so I had to make sure my stitches wouldn't be hurt by the chill. Finally, I set out. I had yet to snow, but it was so bitterly cold that it seemed like it could snow any minute. I tried to sneak, but I knew if someone looked they would be able to find me. With my three coats, two sweaters, gloves, hat and scarf I definitely stood out on the bleak day.

I tried not to hurry to the isolation house, but the thrill of being able to see Kyo was almost too much. When I finally did make it to the house I was surprised at how quickly I got there. It made me worry a little, but I shook it off as I examined it for a door. Other than the barred windows, I couldn't find one.

"How the hell do they get people in here?" I muttered.

"Who's there?!" yelled a familiar voice from inside the house. Joy erupted in me and I ran to the nearest window.

"Kyo-kun!" I hissed.

"Eh?!" came the surprised reply. Seconds later I saw Kyo's face at the window. He looked thinner and paler since the last time I saw him. "Kagura?"

Tears stung my eyes, but I held them in. "Long time no see!"

Kyo looked around out the window, as if to make sure no one else was around. "You're out of the hospital? No one's told me anything!"

"I got discharged a while ago, but this has been the only time I could sneak out and check up on you."

Kyo sighed heavily, which didn't sit well with me.

"Well, get back home and into bed. If they see you—"

"I don't care if Akito sees me here!! He can't do any worse than he's already done!!"

Kyo reached through the bars and grabbed my hands. "Kagura, I really appreciate this. But you can't come here again. Akito's not going to relent. This damned prison is my home for the rest of my life. And if you continue to cross him, he might actually succeed in killing you!"

"Kyo-kun—"

"If you really love me, then you won't come back here. I'm not saying this because I don't want to see you; hell knows I do! But I don't want to see you hurt anymore. And I don't want you to see me like this. Please, just go." He shoved away my hands and started to turn away.

Without thinking I yanked off my scarf and pushed it through the bars. "Take this!! It's getting colder and you'll need to keep warm!!"

Kyo turned around and looked at me. Pain was all too clear in his eyes, but he forced a smile and took the scarf. I took the chance to grab his hands again. I pulled them back through the bars and kissed his knuckles.

"I love you so much!!" I cried, my suppressed tears falling. "I really do!!"

"I know," he said, squeezing my hands. "I love you too. I'm just sorry this is the only time I can say it."

I sniffled and let go. After one final glance at him I took off running back to my house.

He said it. He finally said it. But why didn't it make me happy?

I pushed myself into my house, choking on my tears. I was still crying as I pulled off my jackets, hat, gloves and boots. I was pulling off my sweaters as I ventured through my house but only got one partially off before I fell to my knees. I sobbed into my hands, my body shaking all over. I finally managed to see Kyo. And Kyo told me he loved me. But it didn't make a bit of difference because we could never be together again.

"Quite an entrance. I take it things haven't been going too smoothly around here?"

My head quickly shot up, noticing for the first time I wasn't alone in the room. I stared at the person sitting at the table sipping tea. For the first time in what seemed like forever joy exploded in my heart, overcoming the pain and the guilt.

"I'm home," greeted Isuzu, raising her teacup to me.