Disclaimer: I wish.
Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing! I managed to make this chapter a bit longer then the last one. It starts out fairly serious, but it'll lighten up at the end.
~*~
Jack stared in a mixture of disgust and horror at the tiny girl who had wrapped herself around his legs. She kept staring up at him, grinning from ear to ear, apparently enjoying the absurd look he was giving her. His hands had flown up in the air, fingers seeming to move involuntarily, as if the girl was some kind of contagious exotic tropical disease. Using just his index fingers and thumb, he gingerly pried the girl from her death grip around his legs. After he finally got her off, she giggled, dashed to the bed, and started to jump on it.
Jack stared at her a moment longer before remembering he had a daring escape to perform.
He ran to the balcony and looked out onto a bustling port city. Port Royal. Now he was, really, really lost. How the hell did he get in Port Royal? Of all the places in the Spanish Main he could possibly ended up: Port Royal. It was a miracle he wasn't swinging from the gallows by now. He pounded his head with his fist while simultaneously telling himself that he would never, never, never, never get that drunk again. Now he not only had to get out of here and back to the Pearl (wherever it was) but he had to do it without anybody realizing who he was.
Jack was suddenly struck with inspiration. The uniform! Where did she say it was? The settee? Jack rolled his eyes, realizing he didn't even know what a settee was. He finally found the uniform, but stepped back in surprise when he realized whose it was. Commodore Norrington's.
'So he found another girl'. Jack thought to himself. 'Didn't take 'im too long to get over Elizabeth.'
But where was he now? Had he been killed on duty and his wife, mad with grief, pretended Jack was Norrington? Jack stared at the uniform a moment longer, then shrugged. If he was killed, it wasn't his doing, and if he was dead, he certainly wouldn't have much use for his uniform anymore. He was about to put it on when he heard another giggle behind him. He turned around to find the little girl right behind him. He looked down at her and decided she didn't' t look anything like Norrington. Jack and the girl stared at each other until Jack grew uncomfortable.
It was blindingly obvious that Jack Sparrow didn't have much experience with children when he tried to get her out of the room. First he started with a simple "Go." When this didn't do the trick, he attempted to shoo her away like a dog by waving his arms, which only caused a fresh wave of giggles. He was almost desperate enough to just pick her up, when the girl heard her mother's voice calling her to breakfast, and she dashed out of the room.
Jack quickly put the elaborate uniform on and, more for a good laugh then anything else, decided to look at himself in the mirror. After he realized that he wasn't looking at a painting, it took all his strength to keep his keep his knees from buckling and passing out right on the floor. In front of the mirror stood a perfect English gentleman.
His mustache was completely gone, as well as his braided beard. He didn't have so much as a five o'clock shadow. His eyes lacked their trademark kohl lining, and his skin, instead of its usual golden tan smudged with dirt here and there, was perfectly clean and pale pink. Perhaps the most distinctive difference has his hair. The dreadlocks bedecked in trinkets and beads were gone, as was the bandana that kept it under control. It was replaced by a short, near, military cut. When his jaw dropped at his reflection, he even noticed that he had all his original teeth. It was one of the biggest shocks he had ever experienced in his life, and he had seen himself as a half-decayed skeleton.
He sat on the bed to keep from falling over, and glanced down at his arm.
'I wonder...'
He slowly pulled his sleeve back to reveal his arm. There wasn't so much as a trace of either his sparrow tattoo or his pirate brand.
"Bloody hell."
~*~
Jack Sparrow sat on what was apparently his bed and tried to grasp what he has just discovered. Unless someone was playing a remarkable trick on him, he was somehow the Commodore of Port Royal now. Jack decided his situation couldn't possibly get any more ironic. He just wad starting to consider if the storm, which he now decided actually happened, was the cause of his current state, when the mad woman, who apparently wasn't mad and apparently actually was his wife, came in.
"Oh good, you're dressed.
He stared at her a moment before stating flatly. "You're not insane."
She stopped and stared at him. "Oh, well that's a relief. It's good to know at least one of us isn't. Could you get the door darling, I have to get Pearl her breakfast. "
"Pearl...my daughter." Well apparently it could get a more ironic.
"Yes, your daughter. Are you feeling all right?"
Jack nodded and went downstairs to answer the door. He opened it to find none other than Lieutenant Gillette. "Good morning sir! Wonderful day isn't it? You must be quite excited! That uniform looks positively excellent!"
Jack cracked a grin for the first time that day. Well now there wasn't a doubt in his mind. If Gillette didn't run away screaming bloody murder at the sight of him, he really must be Commodore.
Gillette shifted uncomfortably under Jack's grin. "Umm...here's your wig sir." Gillette said, presenting Jack with a perfectly powdered pompous wig.
Jack continued grinning at Gillette. Payback time.
"Gillette. I can call you Gillette, right? "
"Of course sir."
"Yes, yes...of course I can." Jack said, grin growing wider. "You have to do anything I order you to, right?"
"Y-yes sir." Jack leaned against the door frame apparently deep in thought, then turning to Gillette he said silkily, "You know, Gillette, Port Royal doesn't have a national anthem."
"Sir... that's because it's a colony."
"So because it's not a country, it doesn't merit it's own anthem?"
"Well sir I suppose it could..."
"Good. Write one for the ceremony today."
"But sir..."Jack stood up straight an stared the officer down, which would have been more intimidating with his kohl, but Gillette shut up all the same. "What I mean to say is, who will sing it?"
If it was even physically possible at this point, Jack's grin grew even bigger.
~*~ As Gillette dashed away to find some paper to write lyrics on, Jack examined the hairy thing Gillette had thrown is his arms before taking off.
"Finally it's here! I thought we would have to go to the ceremony without it."
Jack whirled around to find his wife, whose name he still didn't know, standing behind him in a gorgeous blue dress.
"Well what are you waiting for put it on.
Oh no. No no no no no no. It's bad enough most of his hair was gone, but now they wanted to stuff it under a wig? He simply wouldn't do it. What was she going to do about it, anyway?
A few minutes later, Commodore Jack Sparrow stepped out of his home with his lovely wife, darling daughter, and his perfectly powdered pompous wig perched on top of his head, under his hat. As he and his newly acquired family made their way to the fort, Jack tried to get his mind off the wig by looking around the town.
It was then that he spotted a very familiar figure heading into the smithy.
~*~ Thanks for reading and please review!
Next Chapter: Will!
Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing! I managed to make this chapter a bit longer then the last one. It starts out fairly serious, but it'll lighten up at the end.
~*~
Jack stared in a mixture of disgust and horror at the tiny girl who had wrapped herself around his legs. She kept staring up at him, grinning from ear to ear, apparently enjoying the absurd look he was giving her. His hands had flown up in the air, fingers seeming to move involuntarily, as if the girl was some kind of contagious exotic tropical disease. Using just his index fingers and thumb, he gingerly pried the girl from her death grip around his legs. After he finally got her off, she giggled, dashed to the bed, and started to jump on it.
Jack stared at her a moment longer before remembering he had a daring escape to perform.
He ran to the balcony and looked out onto a bustling port city. Port Royal. Now he was, really, really lost. How the hell did he get in Port Royal? Of all the places in the Spanish Main he could possibly ended up: Port Royal. It was a miracle he wasn't swinging from the gallows by now. He pounded his head with his fist while simultaneously telling himself that he would never, never, never, never get that drunk again. Now he not only had to get out of here and back to the Pearl (wherever it was) but he had to do it without anybody realizing who he was.
Jack was suddenly struck with inspiration. The uniform! Where did she say it was? The settee? Jack rolled his eyes, realizing he didn't even know what a settee was. He finally found the uniform, but stepped back in surprise when he realized whose it was. Commodore Norrington's.
'So he found another girl'. Jack thought to himself. 'Didn't take 'im too long to get over Elizabeth.'
But where was he now? Had he been killed on duty and his wife, mad with grief, pretended Jack was Norrington? Jack stared at the uniform a moment longer, then shrugged. If he was killed, it wasn't his doing, and if he was dead, he certainly wouldn't have much use for his uniform anymore. He was about to put it on when he heard another giggle behind him. He turned around to find the little girl right behind him. He looked down at her and decided she didn't' t look anything like Norrington. Jack and the girl stared at each other until Jack grew uncomfortable.
It was blindingly obvious that Jack Sparrow didn't have much experience with children when he tried to get her out of the room. First he started with a simple "Go." When this didn't do the trick, he attempted to shoo her away like a dog by waving his arms, which only caused a fresh wave of giggles. He was almost desperate enough to just pick her up, when the girl heard her mother's voice calling her to breakfast, and she dashed out of the room.
Jack quickly put the elaborate uniform on and, more for a good laugh then anything else, decided to look at himself in the mirror. After he realized that he wasn't looking at a painting, it took all his strength to keep his keep his knees from buckling and passing out right on the floor. In front of the mirror stood a perfect English gentleman.
His mustache was completely gone, as well as his braided beard. He didn't have so much as a five o'clock shadow. His eyes lacked their trademark kohl lining, and his skin, instead of its usual golden tan smudged with dirt here and there, was perfectly clean and pale pink. Perhaps the most distinctive difference has his hair. The dreadlocks bedecked in trinkets and beads were gone, as was the bandana that kept it under control. It was replaced by a short, near, military cut. When his jaw dropped at his reflection, he even noticed that he had all his original teeth. It was one of the biggest shocks he had ever experienced in his life, and he had seen himself as a half-decayed skeleton.
He sat on the bed to keep from falling over, and glanced down at his arm.
'I wonder...'
He slowly pulled his sleeve back to reveal his arm. There wasn't so much as a trace of either his sparrow tattoo or his pirate brand.
"Bloody hell."
~*~
Jack Sparrow sat on what was apparently his bed and tried to grasp what he has just discovered. Unless someone was playing a remarkable trick on him, he was somehow the Commodore of Port Royal now. Jack decided his situation couldn't possibly get any more ironic. He just wad starting to consider if the storm, which he now decided actually happened, was the cause of his current state, when the mad woman, who apparently wasn't mad and apparently actually was his wife, came in.
"Oh good, you're dressed.
He stared at her a moment before stating flatly. "You're not insane."
She stopped and stared at him. "Oh, well that's a relief. It's good to know at least one of us isn't. Could you get the door darling, I have to get Pearl her breakfast. "
"Pearl...my daughter." Well apparently it could get a more ironic.
"Yes, your daughter. Are you feeling all right?"
Jack nodded and went downstairs to answer the door. He opened it to find none other than Lieutenant Gillette. "Good morning sir! Wonderful day isn't it? You must be quite excited! That uniform looks positively excellent!"
Jack cracked a grin for the first time that day. Well now there wasn't a doubt in his mind. If Gillette didn't run away screaming bloody murder at the sight of him, he really must be Commodore.
Gillette shifted uncomfortably under Jack's grin. "Umm...here's your wig sir." Gillette said, presenting Jack with a perfectly powdered pompous wig.
Jack continued grinning at Gillette. Payback time.
"Gillette. I can call you Gillette, right? "
"Of course sir."
"Yes, yes...of course I can." Jack said, grin growing wider. "You have to do anything I order you to, right?"
"Y-yes sir." Jack leaned against the door frame apparently deep in thought, then turning to Gillette he said silkily, "You know, Gillette, Port Royal doesn't have a national anthem."
"Sir... that's because it's a colony."
"So because it's not a country, it doesn't merit it's own anthem?"
"Well sir I suppose it could..."
"Good. Write one for the ceremony today."
"But sir..."Jack stood up straight an stared the officer down, which would have been more intimidating with his kohl, but Gillette shut up all the same. "What I mean to say is, who will sing it?"
If it was even physically possible at this point, Jack's grin grew even bigger.
~*~ As Gillette dashed away to find some paper to write lyrics on, Jack examined the hairy thing Gillette had thrown is his arms before taking off.
"Finally it's here! I thought we would have to go to the ceremony without it."
Jack whirled around to find his wife, whose name he still didn't know, standing behind him in a gorgeous blue dress.
"Well what are you waiting for put it on.
Oh no. No no no no no no. It's bad enough most of his hair was gone, but now they wanted to stuff it under a wig? He simply wouldn't do it. What was she going to do about it, anyway?
A few minutes later, Commodore Jack Sparrow stepped out of his home with his lovely wife, darling daughter, and his perfectly powdered pompous wig perched on top of his head, under his hat. As he and his newly acquired family made their way to the fort, Jack tried to get his mind off the wig by looking around the town.
It was then that he spotted a very familiar figure heading into the smithy.
~*~ Thanks for reading and please review!
Next Chapter: Will!