Disclaimer: In this story, I do not own the characters created by J.R.R
Tolkien.
Summary:
A friendship where you would lay your life down for your friends is the type of friendship that Sam, Merry, and Pippin have with Frodo. A friendship such as this doesn't start just anywhere. This pre-LotR story shows how friendship and sacrifice go hand. This story takes place five years after Bilbo's departure from the Shire.
A/N: h/c, angst, no slash.
Author Note: I went back and re-read my earlier chapters and fixed some grammar and usage errors. It helped me realize how lost I would be without MBradford's help. Thank God for Betas!
Harper's Pixie- The angst writer in me has definitely come out full force and it will continue to come in future chapters. I am so glad that my writing moved you, because it thoroughly depressed me when I was writing it.
Ailsa Joy- I am sure it wasn't as cool as going to NZ, but I went to the Lord of the Rings Symphony in my hometown, Atlanta. Howard Shore was there and he conducted songs from all three soundtracks with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. I had so mush fun, but now back to the story. Your words were so kind and encouraging. I was somewhat nervous about this chapter, because I am usually more comfortable writing the humor aspects of my story than writing the depressing ones.
Amy- THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy this chapter.
EloraCooper4- The last chapter was very dramatic. The flashback was one of those last minute ideas that popped in my head while I was typing the chapter up. You are right, Frodo has some sort of suicidal selfless hero complex going on. The angst is rising!
FrodoBaggins87- I am going to take your speechlessness (Is that a real word?) as good thing.
Midgette- Make sure to save some of your tears for this chapter.
Bookworm2000- Dr. Bolger is a vile hobbit. The more I write about him the more I detest him. You gotta love Frodo, he so good at being a hero.
Jumping4Jesus- Ok ok here is the next chapter, enjoy.
Agent Pip- Don't give up on Frodo too soon, he is not easily defeated. I hope this chapter quenches your thirst for more.
Lovethosehobbits- Thanks for reviewing. I did start reading your story and the first few chapters were very interesting, as you can see I love Frodo sick fics. If you want to get more input on your writing, you could post your story at fanfiction.net.
Ch. 20 The Heart's Requiem
All was still and quiet. The sun seemed dim as it made it's way over the grassy hills. All of nature's brilliance seemed dull and dead. The flowers that had once reached out to touch the sun's rays now wilted in defeat. Grief and loss filled the air as the world begrudgingly woke up.
Merry opened his bleary eyes as the clouds around him slowly cleared. A slight rumble in his chest remained from his once labored breath. Only a phantom of weariness still clung to his bones. To Merry the world seemed slow and surreal as he looked around the room. On the end of his bed he could make out the stooped figure of a hobbit. A small beam of light outlined a single glistening teardrop as it fell from the hobbit to the stone floor below.
"Pippin?" Merry said softly.
Pippin visibly tensed as he heard the voice of his cousin. He turned is tear streaked face toward Merry.
"Mer?"
For a fleeting moment a smile crossed Pippin's face as he looked upon his cousin. Reality seemed to come back to him and the smile faded. A few stray tears soon turned to a torrent of unbridled emotion as clung to Merry's chest.
"Pip, what's wrong?"
When Merry could make out no intelligible answer, he ventured further. "Why are you crying? What is wrong?"
Pippin began to speak in a panicked voice, "I am so sorry. I didn't know what to do it all happened so fast! I am so scared, Mer. I have never been so scared."
Merry looked over to the bed next to his. At first he had to shield his eyes from a beautiful light that shone from the bed. He stared in awe of the light and he was taken aback when he saw that the light was slowly fading. A great sadness hit him as the beautiful light continued to dim, but his attention quickly changed to the figure hunched over the bed.
'Sam.' He thought to himself.
It was Sam, but there was something different about him. His shoulders were slumped in defeat and his usually upbeat and optimistic facial features were dramatically changed. Sam's face looked worn and tear- streaked.
As Merry's eyes adjusted to his surroundings more, the light faded further to reveal the pale face of Frodo. Frodo's eyes were closed with a look of elvish beauty that nearly took Merry's breath away. Merry's eyes were locked in an unwavering gaze as he looked upon Frodo's still figure. The labored rising and falling of Frodo's chest was the only sign of life that Merry could see.
The piercing silence was broken when Merry lifted Pippin off of his chest and attempted walk to Frodo's bedside. Sam sat straight up in and looked deep into Merry's eyes. Sam's face softened and pity colored his cheeks, because he knew that his grief would soon be shared. Merry stared at Sam in puzzlement all the while trying to piece together his jumbled memories. He looked at Frodo again until something caught his eye, small pieces of shattered glass on the floor.
Realization struck Merry like a cold dagger as all his jumbled memories came rushing back.
'Now that you are stumbling, I cannot and will not let you fall.'
'Mr. Frodo, you're very sick and confused. Dr. Bolger said—'
'He lied!'
'Don't do this! There has to be another way!'
'I have to.'
'This is my gift to you.'
The icy sting of reality is colder than any starless night. Merry's face drained of all color. He let out an anguished cry as his eyes filled with tears.
"No! Frodo No!" He cried, letting his body collapse on his cousin's bed.
Pippin raced to Merry and embraced him from behind. Merry brushed him off and said with vehemence, "Leave me alone with him!"
All frustration and anger fled from Merry's face as he saw the heartbroken look on Pippin's face. He turned and held Pippin in a tight embrace.
"I am sorry, pip." Merry stopped as his voice began to crack. "B-But I need to be alone with Frodo."
Sam's grief-stricken face looked upon his dying master one more time before he gently led Pippin out of the room.
Merry turned back to his beloved older cousin and sat down by Frodo's side. His vision blurred with tears when he looked at Frodo's face. He gently brushed back Frodo's sweat-soaked curls.
"I-I am so sorry. This is all my fault. It should not be you lying here...dying." The words seemed to die on Merry's lips. He was facing a reality he did not want to accept. "Frodo, you have been through so much and you have lost so much. It is not fair. Why you? You deserve this less than anyone, less than me. When we were younger I had everything that you didn't... I should have done something to stop this."
"You silly hobbit. There is nothing you could have done." Came Frodo's raspy voice.
"Frodo!" Merry said in shock. His mind could not think straight, so his heart took over and he fell over Frodo's chest and embraced him.
"Shh, it's alright I—" Frodo's chest raddled loudly and coughing fit seized him.
Merry quickly helped Frodo into a sitting position and held him until the fit ended.
"I'm all right." Frodo said weakly.
"No you're not. You are not all right. This is all my fault. If I had just—"
"Oh Merry don't be silly. You know this is not your fault. You really had no choice in the matter. I carried out the deed by my hand alone. I caused this and I would do it a hundred times over if I had to."
"But, I—"
"I'll have none of that Merry." Frodo turned Merry's face to look at him. "Look me in the eye. There is nothing you or anyone else could have done to stop me. Deep down in your heart you know this and you know better than anyone else how stubborn I am."
Merry laughed briefly through his tears.
Frodo continued, "Merry, I love you and I have always promised to keep you from harm, despite the consequences. It is a promise I have always kept and since I have kept my promise I want you to keep a few promises for me."
"I will do whatever you ask of me."
Frodo's fever clouded eyes suddenly became strikingly clear. He locked his gaze on Merry, with an intensity that Merry could not break from. "Promise me that you will help Sam through this. He will find away, just like you, to blame himself. Promise me that you will always look out for our little cousin. He is young and impulsive, maybe even more so than you. Promise me that you will never change from the Merry that I love and above all thing..." Frodo's voice began to break and tears. "...promise me that you will always love life."
Merry broke down in tears, "Frodo, I don't—"
Frodo gathered what strength he had left to sit up straight, "Promise me!"
When Merry saw at the anguish in Frodo's pleading eyes, he spoke sadly, "I Promise."
Frodo relaxed back on the bed and closed his eyes, "Thank you Merry." Once those words left his mouth, he fell back into a deep but troubled sleep.
Merry just sat there for what seemed like hours keeping silent vigil over his cousin as he slept. Slowly his tears dried up and a dull throb of resolution coursed through his body. He leaned over Frodo and kissed his forehead.
"I would do whatever you asked me to do in a heartbeat, but sitting idly by and watching you waste a way is something you cannot ask me to do. I refuse to let you go without a fight. I don't care what I have to do or how I have to do it, but one thing is certain. I will find a way to save you."
TBC
Next Chapter: All cards are laid upon the table as Merry confronts a certain healer about his less than ethical approach to healing.
Summary:
A friendship where you would lay your life down for your friends is the type of friendship that Sam, Merry, and Pippin have with Frodo. A friendship such as this doesn't start just anywhere. This pre-LotR story shows how friendship and sacrifice go hand. This story takes place five years after Bilbo's departure from the Shire.
A/N: h/c, angst, no slash.
Author Note: I went back and re-read my earlier chapters and fixed some grammar and usage errors. It helped me realize how lost I would be without MBradford's help. Thank God for Betas!
Harper's Pixie- The angst writer in me has definitely come out full force and it will continue to come in future chapters. I am so glad that my writing moved you, because it thoroughly depressed me when I was writing it.
Ailsa Joy- I am sure it wasn't as cool as going to NZ, but I went to the Lord of the Rings Symphony in my hometown, Atlanta. Howard Shore was there and he conducted songs from all three soundtracks with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. I had so mush fun, but now back to the story. Your words were so kind and encouraging. I was somewhat nervous about this chapter, because I am usually more comfortable writing the humor aspects of my story than writing the depressing ones.
Amy- THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy this chapter.
EloraCooper4- The last chapter was very dramatic. The flashback was one of those last minute ideas that popped in my head while I was typing the chapter up. You are right, Frodo has some sort of suicidal selfless hero complex going on. The angst is rising!
FrodoBaggins87- I am going to take your speechlessness (Is that a real word?) as good thing.
Midgette- Make sure to save some of your tears for this chapter.
Bookworm2000- Dr. Bolger is a vile hobbit. The more I write about him the more I detest him. You gotta love Frodo, he so good at being a hero.
Jumping4Jesus- Ok ok here is the next chapter, enjoy.
Agent Pip- Don't give up on Frodo too soon, he is not easily defeated. I hope this chapter quenches your thirst for more.
Lovethosehobbits- Thanks for reviewing. I did start reading your story and the first few chapters were very interesting, as you can see I love Frodo sick fics. If you want to get more input on your writing, you could post your story at fanfiction.net.
Ch. 20 The Heart's Requiem
All was still and quiet. The sun seemed dim as it made it's way over the grassy hills. All of nature's brilliance seemed dull and dead. The flowers that had once reached out to touch the sun's rays now wilted in defeat. Grief and loss filled the air as the world begrudgingly woke up.
Merry opened his bleary eyes as the clouds around him slowly cleared. A slight rumble in his chest remained from his once labored breath. Only a phantom of weariness still clung to his bones. To Merry the world seemed slow and surreal as he looked around the room. On the end of his bed he could make out the stooped figure of a hobbit. A small beam of light outlined a single glistening teardrop as it fell from the hobbit to the stone floor below.
"Pippin?" Merry said softly.
Pippin visibly tensed as he heard the voice of his cousin. He turned is tear streaked face toward Merry.
"Mer?"
For a fleeting moment a smile crossed Pippin's face as he looked upon his cousin. Reality seemed to come back to him and the smile faded. A few stray tears soon turned to a torrent of unbridled emotion as clung to Merry's chest.
"Pip, what's wrong?"
When Merry could make out no intelligible answer, he ventured further. "Why are you crying? What is wrong?"
Pippin began to speak in a panicked voice, "I am so sorry. I didn't know what to do it all happened so fast! I am so scared, Mer. I have never been so scared."
Merry looked over to the bed next to his. At first he had to shield his eyes from a beautiful light that shone from the bed. He stared in awe of the light and he was taken aback when he saw that the light was slowly fading. A great sadness hit him as the beautiful light continued to dim, but his attention quickly changed to the figure hunched over the bed.
'Sam.' He thought to himself.
It was Sam, but there was something different about him. His shoulders were slumped in defeat and his usually upbeat and optimistic facial features were dramatically changed. Sam's face looked worn and tear- streaked.
As Merry's eyes adjusted to his surroundings more, the light faded further to reveal the pale face of Frodo. Frodo's eyes were closed with a look of elvish beauty that nearly took Merry's breath away. Merry's eyes were locked in an unwavering gaze as he looked upon Frodo's still figure. The labored rising and falling of Frodo's chest was the only sign of life that Merry could see.
The piercing silence was broken when Merry lifted Pippin off of his chest and attempted walk to Frodo's bedside. Sam sat straight up in and looked deep into Merry's eyes. Sam's face softened and pity colored his cheeks, because he knew that his grief would soon be shared. Merry stared at Sam in puzzlement all the while trying to piece together his jumbled memories. He looked at Frodo again until something caught his eye, small pieces of shattered glass on the floor.
Realization struck Merry like a cold dagger as all his jumbled memories came rushing back.
'Now that you are stumbling, I cannot and will not let you fall.'
'Mr. Frodo, you're very sick and confused. Dr. Bolger said—'
'He lied!'
'Don't do this! There has to be another way!'
'I have to.'
'This is my gift to you.'
The icy sting of reality is colder than any starless night. Merry's face drained of all color. He let out an anguished cry as his eyes filled with tears.
"No! Frodo No!" He cried, letting his body collapse on his cousin's bed.
Pippin raced to Merry and embraced him from behind. Merry brushed him off and said with vehemence, "Leave me alone with him!"
All frustration and anger fled from Merry's face as he saw the heartbroken look on Pippin's face. He turned and held Pippin in a tight embrace.
"I am sorry, pip." Merry stopped as his voice began to crack. "B-But I need to be alone with Frodo."
Sam's grief-stricken face looked upon his dying master one more time before he gently led Pippin out of the room.
Merry turned back to his beloved older cousin and sat down by Frodo's side. His vision blurred with tears when he looked at Frodo's face. He gently brushed back Frodo's sweat-soaked curls.
"I-I am so sorry. This is all my fault. It should not be you lying here...dying." The words seemed to die on Merry's lips. He was facing a reality he did not want to accept. "Frodo, you have been through so much and you have lost so much. It is not fair. Why you? You deserve this less than anyone, less than me. When we were younger I had everything that you didn't... I should have done something to stop this."
"You silly hobbit. There is nothing you could have done." Came Frodo's raspy voice.
"Frodo!" Merry said in shock. His mind could not think straight, so his heart took over and he fell over Frodo's chest and embraced him.
"Shh, it's alright I—" Frodo's chest raddled loudly and coughing fit seized him.
Merry quickly helped Frodo into a sitting position and held him until the fit ended.
"I'm all right." Frodo said weakly.
"No you're not. You are not all right. This is all my fault. If I had just—"
"Oh Merry don't be silly. You know this is not your fault. You really had no choice in the matter. I carried out the deed by my hand alone. I caused this and I would do it a hundred times over if I had to."
"But, I—"
"I'll have none of that Merry." Frodo turned Merry's face to look at him. "Look me in the eye. There is nothing you or anyone else could have done to stop me. Deep down in your heart you know this and you know better than anyone else how stubborn I am."
Merry laughed briefly through his tears.
Frodo continued, "Merry, I love you and I have always promised to keep you from harm, despite the consequences. It is a promise I have always kept and since I have kept my promise I want you to keep a few promises for me."
"I will do whatever you ask of me."
Frodo's fever clouded eyes suddenly became strikingly clear. He locked his gaze on Merry, with an intensity that Merry could not break from. "Promise me that you will help Sam through this. He will find away, just like you, to blame himself. Promise me that you will always look out for our little cousin. He is young and impulsive, maybe even more so than you. Promise me that you will never change from the Merry that I love and above all thing..." Frodo's voice began to break and tears. "...promise me that you will always love life."
Merry broke down in tears, "Frodo, I don't—"
Frodo gathered what strength he had left to sit up straight, "Promise me!"
When Merry saw at the anguish in Frodo's pleading eyes, he spoke sadly, "I Promise."
Frodo relaxed back on the bed and closed his eyes, "Thank you Merry." Once those words left his mouth, he fell back into a deep but troubled sleep.
Merry just sat there for what seemed like hours keeping silent vigil over his cousin as he slept. Slowly his tears dried up and a dull throb of resolution coursed through his body. He leaned over Frodo and kissed his forehead.
"I would do whatever you asked me to do in a heartbeat, but sitting idly by and watching you waste a way is something you cannot ask me to do. I refuse to let you go without a fight. I don't care what I have to do or how I have to do it, but one thing is certain. I will find a way to save you."
TBC
Next Chapter: All cards are laid upon the table as Merry confronts a certain healer about his less than ethical approach to healing.