Chapter 15
Angel walked through his apartment and knocked softly on the door that connected his room to Katie's. Knowing that Cordelia would have knocked on the hallway door, Katie deduced that her father was the one knocking.
"Go away!" she called.
Angel opened the door and stepped inside. "Afraid I can't do that. We need to talk," he said.
Katherine was lying on her bed with her back to him. "I don't want to talk. I'm mad at you," she informed him.
"That's okay. You can be mad if you want," he allowed, "but you still have to listen, okay?"
She shrugged. Angel considered insisting that she look at him but decided not to press it.
"What's important is that you know that I'm not mad at you. He sat down at the foot of the bed. "I want to explain why I…did what I did."
Nothing. Clearly, this conversation was going to be strictly one-sided.
"I'm sure you've already figured out that I am not exactly the strictest father in the world. Maybe things would have been different if I hadn't lost you. I don't know. But I can't seem to help it now. What I want now, almost more than anything, is to make you happy. Almost."
Angel got up and moved closer to the head of the bed, nearer Katherine.
"What I want most is to keep you safe."
He absently fiddled with the ring on his finger. "Look, I'm still figuring out this whole parent thing. I'm sure you're going to mess up and I'm going to have to come down on you a little. No big deal. But taking dangerous chances with your life, that is a big deal. The biggest. And when that happens, I'm going to come down hard. Because it's too important. You, are too important."
He put his arm across her and rested his hand on the bed, leaning over her slightly. "So, that's what happened today." He touched her shoulder. "Hey, look at me."
She turned her head slightly and he continued. "I want you to remember that I love you, no matter what mistakes you make. And that will never change. Okay?"
Katherine turned away again. "Whatever," was all she said.
Okay. Not exactly the warm and fuzzy he was going for. Angel groped for a new angle.
"Hey, how 'bout some dinner? We could make spaghetti. I got some of that garlic bread you like."
"I'm not hungry," she said flatly.
"Okay. Well, maybe later," Angel said hopefully.
"Maybe not," she countered.
Boy, she was not going to make this easy. He got up from her bed and softly closed her door on his way out. Cordelia was waiting for him on the couch in his room.
"How'd it go?" she asked.
"Not great," he confessed. "I was right. She hates me."
Cordy patted the couch cushion next to her and he sat down.
"She does not hate you. She's just pouting. Kids do that. Give her a little time, she'll get over it."
Angel brightened a little. "Hey, do you think she'd like a bike?"
Cordelia crossed her arms and sighed. "Look, Buster. You can't go buying her a bunch of presents she doesn't deserve just because she turns on the deep freeze. That's just rewarding bad behavior. You did the right thing today. It was rough but you got through it. Don't undo it now. This parent thing is brutal. You got to be prepared to hang tough.
She picked up the video game controller. "What you need is a little distraction. How about a game of Monster Cars?" she asked.
"Not really in the mood. I think I'll just go lie down and read a little."
Cordy got up. "Okay, I can't deal with both of you pouting. I'm going home. See you in the morning?"
"Whatever," he said, echoing his daughter.
He rummaged around the shelf in his room and selected what appeared to be a marginally interesting book and sat down on the bed. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night.
Hours later he woke to the sound of Katherine screaming again. His mind immediately flashed to the image of the vampire that had nearly killed her six hours earlier. He sprang from his bed and burst into her room.
He looked around. No vampire, just a screaming little girl clutching a little clown dog.
He scooped her up and held her. "Sshhh. It's okay. It's okay." He rubbed her hair and soothed her. "Sshhh." "Daddy's got you."
He sat down on the bed with her. She clung desperately to him as she cried.
"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked gently.
She nodded her head.
"Do you want to sleep in my bed?"
She nodded again.
Angel picked her up and carried her to his room. He put her in bed and slid in beside her.
She immediately snuggled close.
"Better?" he asked. She nodded.
He thought of asking what her nightmare was about, but decided morning would be a better time. He put his arm around her and began to doze. Her voice brought him out of his half-sleep.
"Daddy?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry about tonight. You were right. Those vampires could have gotten me."
He squeezed her close. "Is that what your dream was about?"
She nodded that it was. "It wasn't like I thought it would be. They were so scary…and so big. In my dream, I tried to fight them, but they were too strong. They turned me into a little girl vampire," she recalled.
Angel squeezed her to him. "Try to think about something else. Think about…Grandma and Grandpa taking you to the circus tomorrow," he suggested.
Katherine tried. She was excited about going to the circus, but her mind wandered back to the subject of vampires.
"Daddy?" she asked again.
"Hmm?"
"If you're a vampire, and my mother was a vampire," she looked up at him, "what am I?"
Angel sat up on his elbow and smiled down at her. "You," he said, touching his finger to her nose, "are a miracle."
She smiled back at him and closed her eyes. Father and daughter slept peacefully the rest of the night.