Chapter 18
The hotel was quiet when Angel returned around midnight. He walked softly into his daughter's room and nearly fell over Mr. Berkle. Having decided not to risk any further escapades, Grandma and Grandpa had strategically positioned themselves in chairs on either side of Katie's bed. Angel's stumbling woke them up.
Grandpa's eyes strained to focus on Angel. "What the…"
"It's okay. It's just me," Angel whispered. "Why don't we go in my room?"
Mr. Berkle walked around to the other side of the bed and retrieved his sleepy wife. Both followed Angel into the other room.
Angel was full of questions. "How was the circus?" Did she have fun?" Was she scared of the animals?"
"Whoa. Slow down there son," Mr. Berkle told him. "We had a fine day. I'm sure she'll tell you all about it tomorrow."
"Okay, I guess I can wait until then." He walked them to the door. "I really appreciate you taking her out today. I know it meant a lot to her. She really loves you guys."
Mrs. Berkle squeezed his shoulder. "It was our pleasure. I hope she's not too tired in the morning. We had quite a day…and night." She and her husband exchanged knowing glances.
Angel looked concerned. "Did she have a nightmare?"
Mr. Berkle was quick to reassure him. "No, nothing like that. Why?"
"Well, because it's okay to just put her to bed and leave," Angel said. "Even I don't sit in the room with her all night." He thought for a moment. "Well, not anymore," he corrected.
It had been unanimously decided that Cordelia would be the best person to fill Angel in on the evening's events and his daughter's apparent uniqueness. The Berkles smiled and bid Angel good night and left without mentioning anything.
Angel closed the door softly and turned around to his empty room. It felt especially empty tonight. He felt especially empty. He supposed it would take some time to get used to that feeling. He walked into Katherine's room and pulled the cover up over her small shoulder. Leaning over, he kissed her softly on the head and went to his own bed.
As he lay there, his mind retraced his day in Sunnydale. He had gone there to see Buffy. He had decided to take Wesley's advice and put all his cards on the table and trust fate with the outcome. Only he never got the chance. He had seen Buffy all right, but Buffy wasn't alone.
He was having a difficult time wrapping his mind around what he had seen. He knew when he left Sunnydale that eventually Buffy would move on. That's what he wanted, after all. That was the reason he left. He wanted her to have the life he knew he could never give her. The life he suspected he still could never give her. If he truly believed in fate, then he had to accept it, good or bad. And if fate had decided that Buffy and he were not meant to be, then he could accept that. What he couldn't accept was…
No. He sprang from his bed and went into the living room and poured himself a drink. He flipped the stereo on and turned it down low. Sitting down on the couch, he skimmed through a magazine looking for something else to occupy his mind. Settling on an article about the impact of nutrition on children's test scores (who wouldn't fall asleep to that?), he read and drank until he finally drifted off.
The next morning Katie was up early. She ran to her father's bed and jumped on him.
"Wake up, Daddy!" she said, a little too cheerfully for Angel, who had not been able to fall asleep until just a few hours earlier.
"Hey, there, sweetheart," he said, trying to match her cheerfulness. He fell a little short.
"Did Grandma and Grandpa tell you about what happened?" she asked.
"They said you had a great time."
"No, I mean about last night," she said vaguely.
Angel sat up and looked at his daughter. "What about last night?" he asked with slight trepidation.
As Katherine elaborated on her adventure the previous evening, Angel's trepidation turned to full-blown panic.
"You what?!" He exclaimed as he began putting on his pants and shoes.
"Can I work with you now, like the others?"
Angel didn't answer. He was too busy heading downstairs to find someone to yell at.
"Why don't you get some clothes on and brush your teeth. I'll be right back," he called back to her.
Fred, her parents, Cordy, Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne were all downstairs.
"Would somebody mind telling me what the hell went on here last night?" was Angel's greeting.
Fred looked at Cordelia and said under her breath, "I thought you were going to talk to him."
Cordy was dumbfounded. "Hello? Does he look like he's been up more than five seconds?"
She got up and tried to head Angel off before he reached the rest of the group. He sidestepped around her and stood in front of them.
"Was anyone planning to mention that my daughter fell 30 feet from the balcony last night?" he asked no one in particular.
Cordelia stood beside him. "I was planning to fill you in first thing this morning, which is right about, oh, say, now."
Angel took a moment and calmed down. He sat on the arm of the couch and folded his hands in his lap. "Okay. What happened?"
Cordy recounted the events of the night before with an occasional interjection from Fred. When she was finished, Angel was silent.
Finally, Cordelia tentatively spoke. "What are you going to do?"
Angel tried to sound casual. "Well, it's not like it's all that big of a surprise. She is the child of two super beings, right?"
He looked around at his friends. "What am I going to do, complain that my child is too healthy and too strong?" He stood up and shook his head. "No, this is…this is good," he said, trying to convince himself as he paced.
"What now?" asked Gunn.
Angel thought for a moment and then turned to the others. "Well, after breakfast, I think it would be nice if Katie and her Uncle Lorne put on a little show for us."
Even Lorne, who would perform at the drop of a hat, was skeptical. "Angelpie, I don't really think this is…"
Angel interrupted. "I need you to read her. If she's…special, then I need to know why. Whatever her destiny is, I need to know how to help her get there."
Cordelia walked over and took his hands. "Whatever happens, you're not alone."
Maybe he didn't feel so empty after all.