Ha ha ha ha ha…being the idiot that I am, I forgot to mention that Invader Zim is copyrighted and owned by Jhonen Vasquez in the first chapter. Don't hurt me! And now, round two!
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As Dib stood alone in the deserted carnival fairgrounds, he found his mind wandering back to the Super-Peepi incident that happened here months ago. To defeat the mutant hamster…thing, he and Zim had to work together for the first time (although Dib wouldn't call being put in a crazy bucket by the military work). Many signs remained of the ancient battle: charred marks on the ground, smashed roller coasters, tank treads…The missing ferris wheel was the most obvious, though, and somehow people didn't find all these signs suspicious. Given the limited intelligence of the average human, Dib still found the fact that no one asked what happened at the fairgrounds surprising. Most people loved the Ferris wheel.
Dib heard footsteps approaching from behind, and he whirled around to face them.
"Zim!" he yelled suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"
Zim stopped walking and stared at Dib blankly.
"What do you mean, what am I doing here? You're the one who told me to come here, remember?" Zim yelled irritably.
Dib blinked. "Uh, oh yeah. Sorry. Just an old habit of mine, I guess."
Zim frowned. "Yes, you did love to yell at me as I recall. Anyways, you chose this spot for the secret base of operation Plan Devisement, so I have brought the blank paper and ingenious brain of Zim for the devisement of the plans."
"Is, uh, devisement a word?"
"Yes. Just not in your language. Don't ask stupid questions, Dib."
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"And then we drop the giant pigs here-"
Zim accidentally poked Dib with his arm.
"Don't touch me!" Dib yelled, and smacked Zim across the face.
Zim shook his head, dazed from the might of Dib's smack.
"Whoops, heh, sorry, Zim," Dib said embarrassedly, rubbing the back of his head. "Old habits die hard."
"That hurt hard," Zim complained, rubbing his face as he sat up. "You almost made my contacts fly off."
"Uh, well, speaking of fly, go back to the giant pigs plan."
"Right!"
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Half an hour later, Dib rushed home as quickly as he could, leaving a scattered path of destruction as he hurtled over fences, jumped from rooftop to rooftop, dodged vicious dogs, and stopped for an ice cream cone (in the shape of a cute little alien, of course).
"Gotta! Watch! Mys! Teri! Ous! Mys! Ter! Ies!" he panted to himself as he rounded the corner and rushed up the path leading up to his home.
He flung the door open and lunged for the couch. The result of his landing caused a bowl of popcorn on one of the couch cushions to fly up into the air and hit the floor, spilling out some of the popcorn. Dib ignored it, focused on the show.
"Today, on Mysterious Mysterys, we have special footage of Frankenchokey-"
Gaz walked into the room, and stopped mid-step when she saw the bowl of overturned popcorn. She looked from the bowl to Dib and scowled.
"Dib," she threatened, "you have spilled my popcorn for the last time! I will-"
"Shut up, you freakin' spaz," Dib said, slightly angry. "Mysterious Mysterys is on."
Gaz's eye twitched.
"What did you say?"
Dib shot her a sideways glare. "You heard me."
Gaz folded her arms and looked at him fixedly. "Where'd you get the backbone?"
"From the toilet plunger," Dib said, not really listening to her.
Gaz waited until she was out of Dib's earshot before she burst out laughing.
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Brrrrrriiiiiing!
Zim jerked awake with a loud snort.
"Ah, yes, wonderful lesson, Miss Bitters, absolutely fascinating," he babbled, still drowsy.
As the rest of the kids shuffled out into the hallway, headed for the cafeteria, Zim sleepily packed up his stuff and crammed it into his backpack.
Hoisting his backpack onto his shoulders, Zim sensed someone looking at him. He spun around to find…
Nothing.
Puzzled, Zim turned around to pretend to eat food in the cafeteria.
Dib stood right in front of him.
"DAH!" Zim screamed, falling over backwards.
Dib laughed and, after seeing that Zim couldn't get back on his feet because of the weight of the backpack, hoisted him back onto his feet.
"That wasn't funny, Dib-monkey," Zim said angrily, scowling and folding his arms. "I just used the fall-backwards defense. Everyone knows that."
"Of course you did, Zim," Dib laughed, rolling his eyes.
"Out of the way! I must venture to the cafeteria, where I can gorge myself sick on human food," Zim announced, walking around Dib and out into the hall.
"Great! I'll come!" Dib called, running to catch up.
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Dib frowned in disgust as the gelatinous ooze plopped down onto his plate.
"I hate corn and mayonnaise day," he muttered as he walked away.
Every day, Dib scanned the cafeteria for a place to sit. Every day, he sat with Gaz. Today, however, was different.
"Heya, Zim! Whatcha eatin'?" Dib asked cheerfully, sitting down across from him. "Actually, I know what you're eating, so don't answer that question."
"What are you doing, Dib-scum?" Zim asked angrily, narrowing his eyes. "Go sit with that terrifying sister of yours."
"What? Why can't I sit with you?" Dib asked.
"Cuz! I said so!"
"Well that's a stupid reason."
"You're a stupid person!"
"Hey!"
The popular blonde girl and her friends watched Zim and Dib arguing.
"Look at those freaks," the blonde said disgustedly. "No wonder they're so unpopular. They're always arguing."
"Yeah, and they don't have cell phones, either," a brown-haired girl said.
The blonde glanced around nervously. Her cell phone was snatched away by a mysterious person during the presidential election between Zim and Willy.
"Having a cell phone doesn't make you cool!" she said quickly. "Accessories are just add-ons to a person's initial coolness!"
There were "oh"'s and "ah"'s as the girls nodded in understanding.
"Anyway," the blonde continued, satisfied that whether or not you had a cell phone didn't matter, "Zim and Dib are always having quarrels. It's like listening to an old married couple. 'Cept they're not old. Or married."
"Or a couple," a red-headed girl reminded. (Yes, her head is actually red.)
"Not YET they aren't!" the blonde girl said loudly. "But one of my acquaintances can make them appear to be a couple! Or at least start a fan club dedicated to them as a couple. Let me borrow one of your guy's cell phones."
The girls all looked at each other, then back at the blonde.
"We don't have cell phones. We threw them all away after you told us they were add-ons," the brown-haired girl said. The other girls nodded and pointed to a garbage can where several cell phones lay.
The blonde blinked. "You threw them away? How did you do that? You haven't moved from this table the entire time we've been here!"
The girls shrugged, and the blonde sighed in frustration.
"Now I have to use a common pay phone," she snarled angrily, getting up from the table and stomping out of the cafeteria to one of the pay phones located outside.
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In the end, Dib decided to sit with Gaz. After all, no matter how bad things got, she was still his little sister, and as she had no friends, he wanted to keep her company. He spotted her sitting at a table by herself, playing her Game Slave 2. He started to make his way over to her when something wet hit the side of his face, causing him to drop his tray. He staggered back and wiped his face with the back of one hand.
"What the-!?" he sputtered in disbelief. Someone had actually had the guts to touch the corn and mayonnaise and throw it at his head! The person's hand was probably glued shut by now!
A little bit daunted, he hurried over to Gaz's table.
"So, Gaz, you beat the final level yet?" he asked, sliding in next to her and keeping a sharp eye out for any more handfuls of mayonnaisey corn.
"What?" she asked, surprised that her brother was actually interested in the video game she was playing. "O-oh. No, I haven't yet. Don't talk to me. I need to concentrate."
"OK," he said, scanning the cafeteria for a possible suspect for the thrown glop of food.
Let's see…it hit the right side of my face, so I can look at the right side of the room, or I can just look for someone with a hand that's glued shut. Hm. The way some of these kids eat, most of them probably have their hands glued shut. This might be difficult…
"Dib!"
Dib jerked out of his thoughts at the sound of Gaz's voice.
"Yeah, what is it, Gaz?"
"Look! I'm at the final level," she said, pointing.
"Hey, that's great, Gaz! Good luck beating it!" he said, smiling encouragingly before going back to his thoughts.
Gaz was silent as she deftly maneuvered through the level. To her surprise, she made it through on her first try, and she didn't take any hits, either.
She slyly glanced sideways at Dib. Maybe her brother wasn't the one jinxing her…
She suddenly looked through the window behind her to see a voodoo priest waving around a Gaz doll with a Game Slave 2. He stopped suddenly when he realized he had been spotted, and looked scared.
"I'll be right back," she said, sliding off her seat and heading out of the cafeteria.
"Mm," Dib said, peering around the cafeteria. He suddenly stopped, realizing that Gaz didn't have her precious Game Slave 2 with her. Something really important must have come up, or else she wouldn't have left it out in the open-
Torque Smacky snatched the game system off the table.
"I've been wanting one of these," he said, stuffing it in his pocket and walking off. "Thanks, freak."
Forgetting everything except that Smacky was stealing from his little sister, Dib leapt out of his seat and landed in front of Smacky.
"You better give that back, Torque!" he said angrily, trying to block Smacky's way.
"Or what?" Torque asked, leering down at him.
"Or else…I'll fight you!" Dib snarled, putting up his fists.
"Hah! I'll crush you, freak kid!" Torque chortled, and took a swing.
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As Gaz approached the cafeteria, she heard shouts and yelling. It sounded like a fight.
"Go Dib!"
"Go Smacky! Beat his ass!"
"Dib! You crazy fool! What are you doing!?"
"AAGH! I can't open my hand!"
Gaz burst through the doors to see a horrible scene. Dib, bruised and bloody, but still standing. Smacky, with some of Dib's blood on his fists, sneering. A crowd of kids, jeering and catcalling spectators.
As Gaz tried to push her way through the crowd, she heard Dib and Smacky talk.
"You ready to give up yet, little man?" Smacky called.
"Never!" Dib yelled, wiping blood off his face with his sleeve. "I'll never give up! Not until every bone in my body is broken, until my muscles are bruised and aching, or until my spirit is broken and tattered will I give up!"
"Well, I don't know about those other things, but I can give you a broken and tattered face!" Smacky yelled, and aimed a punch right at Dib's nose.
The rest seemed to happen in slow motion. Smacky's fist slowly coming toward his face. Then Gaz (was she flying? No, she was leaping) leaping out of the crowd and sinking her teeth into the arm Smacky had just started to punch with. Smacky, howling like some sort of wounded bear, flailing about. The Game Slave 2, somehow flying out of Smacky's pocket and landing in Dib's lap. The crowd, letting out an enormous cheer as Dib stared down at the device in his lap in amazement. The last thought in his head before he passed out, that here he was trying to protect his little sister and here she was protecting him…
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Dun dun DUN! End of chapter 2! Hurray! This is longer than before. Heh, sorry, I just couldn't stop writing. Hope you enjoy!
Quote for…now?: "Praise me, PRAISE ME!!" –GIR, (GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff)