Chaptah 7! OH yeah! flexes arms even though there isn't any muscle I think I've been playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2 too much. It's that darn Zangief's fault! Ah, anyway…
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A crumpled up ball of paper bounced off the side of Zim's head. He blinked a few times, still in a stupor, then looked around for the projectile. Zim decided not to start waving it around and demanding who dared to tarnish his earthy face. He unfolded it, and found out it was a note:
Hey Zim!Uh…Zeta sits behind you.
Dib
Zim stared at it for a few seconds, then turned in the direction that Dib was sitting and mouthed "What?"
Dib shrugged, mouthing "I didn't know what to write! I've never written a note before!"
Zim, who was not proficient at reading lips (probably because he didn't have any), mouthed back "Huuuh?"
Fortunately, the bell rang, and they were able to talk normally.
"What is the meaning of this?" Zim demanded, waving the paper around.
"It's a note," Dib explained. "It said that friends frequently pass notes back and forth during class. I just, uh, never wrote one before, so-"
"Who said this?"
"A website on the Internet."
Zim gave Dib a blank look.
"Oh! Oh yeah, you don't know what that is, huh? The Internet is a resource that allows humans to search thousands of information sources all over the world."
"And you trust this Internet? How do you know that it's not spying on you?"
Dib puffed up his chest proudly.
"I have Spyware."
Another blank look from Zim.
"Sigh…it's a program that stops people and programs from spying on me while I'm using the Internet."
"This Internet seems rather deceitful. How can you be sure of what it says?"
"What are you saying, Zim!? Almost everything on the Internet is true! It's my firs-uh, second best friend!"
"What!? This Internet ranks higher to you on your list of friends than meee?"
"…how the heck did you come up with that, Zim?"
"Zim is second to this…Traitornet!?"
"NO! I said the Internet was second! You're my best-"
"I can't believe you'd trust this human thing more than me!"
"Well, you have tried to kill me in the past…"
"LIES!"
A girl had snuck up unnoticed behind Zim. She quickly swiped the note out of Zim's hand. Zim, startled, jumped around to face her.
"Ooooh, what's this? A loooove note?" she sang, reading it.
She frowned.
"This is the lamest note I've ever read!"
Dib flushed embarrassedly and glanced at the floor.
"Oh, and you think you can do better?" Zim challenged, pointing at her for no apparent reason. "You consider yourself superior in the field of note-writing?"
"Well, I-"
"Are you the Supreme Ruler of the Kingdom of Handwritten Notes?"
"Uh, Zim, I think that's taking it a little too far-"
"Well? ARE you?"
"Uh…um…I…don't-"
The girl quickly ran out of the room. Zim put his arms into the air in triumph.
"Victory for Zim!"
He glanced over at Dib.
"And Dib too…I guess."
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"What else did the Horrornet tell you about friends?" Zim asked Dib as they were walking to the cafeteria.
"Internet. It said that friends get into fights over small things, and then they don't talk to each other for a while, and then they both get all emotional and apologize-Wait a minute! I think that that was a website for girl friendship!"
"Girl friendship? Dib, you fool! I knew that Antiquenet was no good!"
"Internet! Darn! Now I have to research guy friendships when I get home. I won't have much time after I watch Mysterious Mysterys-"
"Then don't watch that dumb show! Research friendships of the male variety!"
"Never! I always watch Mysterious Mysterys!"
"I never watch it, and look at me!"
"I'm looking."
Zim glanced at Dib suspiciously.
"What's that supposed to mean, Earth boy?"
"It means that you're not a good example."
"What? Zim is the perfect specimen!"
"I said example, not specimen."
"Zim is perfect!"
"Sheesh…it's like you recognize a few words and ignore all the rest!"
"PERFECT!"
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As Dib ate lunch (away from Zim so that they wouldn't cause another scene), he thought about the different parts of the female friendship. Some of them sounded like things that he and Zim did, and he wondered what that meant…
Behind him, one of the kids collapsed onto the floor. A lunch lady quickly jumped over the counter with defibrillator paddles (those things paramedics use to start your heart with electric shocks), knocking several kids out of the way in the process.
"Clear!" she yelled.
Dib sighed as the kid twitched and then coughed and sat up, looking dazed. Ketchup and Rice days were always horrible.
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"Get away, female stink, before something awful happens to you!" Zim threatened, throwing a handful of ketchupy rice at the closest one.
Like a little pack of raptors, they squeaked and hovered out of Zim's range, ready to strike when he slowed.
"Back, beasts, back!"
A glob of rice hit a girl on the cheek and hardened. Shrieking, the pack fled, leaving Zim to yell threats after them.
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Dib decided to skip Mysterious Mysterys. Gir was on again, and this time he had apparently discovered the secret ingredient to Count Cocofang's cereal: chocolate.
"And here we are, standing next to this amazing boy who has finally discovered the secret that makes Cocofang's cereal taste so great!" the announcer said. "Amazingly, it is the same boy who had Frankenchokey's cereal in his possession! What luck! I think that this boy will go on to discover many great things in the future! Now then, you say chocolate is the secret ingredient?"
"Yeah, but hair might be too, 'cause I found it in my cereal once when I was eatin' it," Gir said.
"Amazing! Hair and chocolate! Apparently, not only is Count Cocofang's cereal delicious, it's also nutritious because of the fiber of the hair it contains! Thanks to this genius little boy, the world can feel safe when it eats Cocosplodeys!"
Dib switched the TV off with a surly look, then headed upstairs into his room to look up guy friendship.
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That Gir! How does he do it? snicker Maybe I should do a little research on guy friendship too. It's very peculiar…
"Chickenfoot, stop! You're not a freak! You're just stupid!" –Dib (The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot)
P.S. I'm sorry if some of these quotes aren't word for word. I'm doing the best I can at remembering them. I could probably look them up…wait…YOU READ NOTHING!!!