DISCLAIMER : I don't own CSI nor it's characters. Everything belongs to the brains behind this wonderful show. Props go out to them. :D
AUTHOR'S NOTE : I used the songs, 'Last Chance' by Allure and 'Beautiful' by Jennifer Paige on this chapter.
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CHAPTER XV
"When is she going to be on?" Greg asked once again. It had been the 10th question posted to Nick in the last 20 minutes or so.
"Will you just chill and wait?" Nick reprimanded. "You're like a kid in a toy store! All things in good time, my friend."
"Well, time we don't have. Work starts in an hour" Greg pouted, taking another sip of his iced tea the bartender had handed them earlier. He thought back to the strange comments done by their bartender. As soon as he saw Nick he raised a hand and said, "Save it! I know ... you're on the clock."
Greg dismissed the thought and turned back to Nick. "Are you sure she's coming on?"
"I really don't know Greggo. We will just have to be PATIENT" Nick said putting emphasis on the last word.
Greg pouted once more and busied himself by checking out the other occupants of the bar.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Sitting at the opposite side of the bar, Grissom looked at Nick and Greg's figures seated on the bar stools. He had arrived shortly before they did and was glad that he chose the table farthest from both the stage and the bar area. He hadn't told anyone he knew and was coming to see Sara tonight.
He couldn't explain why he was here. He had spent the better part of the day continuously debating whether he would go or not. In the end, being an investigator, curiousity got the better of him, or was it th want to see this special side of Sara Sidle? He really couldn't tell.
Grissom stared at the performer on stage. She was in her mid-twenties and was singing about heartache. This left Grissom wondering if Sara would sing of the exact same things.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Still reeling from the knowledge that her friends knew about her singing, Sara hoped that hey didn't come tonight to see her. She was nervous beyond words.
She gave herself a mental shake. No, let them see her now. This was another side of her, a real part of her. And she knew that no matter what, her friends would love her no matter what. She was thankful though that Grissom had no idea about all this.
Moments later, she steadied her breating and stepped up on the stage that she was now getting used to. She felt the butterflies in her stomach, but they were mainly due to the fact that her friends might be in the audience tonight.
"Good evening," Sara surprised herself by saying her words in a very calm voice. Receiving her usual enthusiastic reply from the audience, she gave a nod to the bar band, telling them to start playing her song.
She huffed another deep breath, calmed herself further and started singing.
This is my last dance with you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is real
This is the last chance for us
This is the moment that I just cannot let end
Before I know that there's a chance we're more than friends
Sara couldn't help but think back to the dinner invitation. That was her last chance. That was supposed to move their relationship, evolve their frienship ...
So don't let go, don't let go
Make it last all night
This is my last chance to make you mine
I kept my feelings so deep
I kept my dreams of you and me somewhere inside
Although I prayed that you would see it in my eyes
She thought of all the flirting, the feel of his face on her palm. How wonderful it felt stroking his face. She felt her heart contract at her thoughts. Deny them all she want, she missed those moments.
But this is my last chance to say
What's in my heart before you stay out of my life
And then you'll understand the way I feel inside
So hold me close cause it feels so right
This is my last chance to make it mine
Make this dream reality
So close and yet so far
Gotta find a way into your heart
Gotta speak my mind
Gotta open up to you this time
I can't let you slip away tonight
This is my last dance iwth you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is so real
So don't let go
Just make it last all night long
This is my last chance to make you mine, yeah
To make you mine
Finishing off her song, she couldn't help but feel extreme sadness. She had her chance. Grissom didn't want her. It was all a silly dream, she thought to herself. She had given all of herself to him, given him all the chances, and she just ended up hurt.
She smiled at herself as she thought of the lyrics to her next song.
She gave the audience another smile and spoke to them before starting to sing again. She waited until all the initial applause died down before speaking.
"Thank you. Thank you again. This next song hopefully finds its way to those who have lost." Sara didn't dare to explain what she meant further, hoping that the lyrics would talk for her.
I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me
To feel your heart beat just one more time
I'm reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
To let them go a little more each day?
The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we've lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
´cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
She felt the threat of tears forming stronger than the last but fought them back.
She knew she had to move on, for her sake, and maybe even for Grissom.
She'd never regret anything. If she had to replay the past years, she wouldn't trade falling in love with Grissom for anything in the world.
All that really hurt her was that they couldn't be together.
Some days missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you're not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?
My thoughts get kinda scattered, but one thing I know is true
I bless the day that I found you, oh oh
The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we've lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
´cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
She fought the deluge of thoughts and dreams she'd had of Grissom. She couldn't understand how one person could consume her life so much.
Oh, The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
Oh, The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we've lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
´cause it was beautiful.
So beautiful.
It was beautiful.
A single tear ran down her cheek as she finished singing. Wiping the tear away as casually as she could, she gave another nod to the audience who broke into a much louder applause.
Quickly leaving the stage, she took a deep breath to calm her beating heart and to surpress the incoming tears.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Grissom's mind emptied of all other thoughts except Sara. He had never hated himself more than he did at this very moment.
Sara was in love. Was? Is? Grissom ended up staring at his hands, clasped on the table. He could not shake the image of Sara singing, nor the transparent flow of emotions that came off her. These other people didn't know her as he did. What he just witnessed was pure emotion. Love and Pain.
He hated himself for inflicting such pain on her. He hated himself for not believing that things between them would work. He hated himself for doubting her feelings for him as he doubted his feelings for her. He hated himself for staying away too long ...
As he stood up to leave, he vowed that from then on, he would do everything he could to make it up to Sara. To show her that he loved her.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
"I don't know what to say." Greg said, as he and Nick walked to their vehicle.
"You and me both." Nick said back, climbing into the driver's seat.
"Remember when I told you the only time I'll ever give up on the thought of me and Sara together is when I see her necking with Griss?" Greg said, voice flat and sounding so very shocked. "Well, I take it back. I'll never get Sara. She sooo belongs to Grissom."
"Yeah, and all we need now is to wake Grissom up and have him take his head out his ass."