DISCLAIMER : I don't own CSI nor it's characters. Everything belongs to the brains behind this wonderful show. Props go out to them. :D
AUTHOR'S NOTE : Yay, another chapter. Sorry this is a bit late in the coming, as usual, work got in the way, yada yada yada. You know how it works. Thanks so much for the reviews, they always make my day! :D
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CHAPTER XVI
Grissom arrived late to hand out assignments. He had spent a couple of minutes in his office staring at the pile of folders on his desk. He wasn't really thinking about them, instead he was still thinking about Sara.
Vowing that he would repair the damage he had created in their relationship, Grissom thought of ways to make it up to her. He just didn't want to be friends with her anymore, seeing her so vulnerable tonight just opened his eyes to all the emotions that were mirrored in him.
He loved Sara. He had for a long time. He just denied himself the pleasure of accepting the fact and voicing it out. Now, more than ever, he needed to make Sara understand that.
He saw that the rest of the team were all present in the break room. They were all looking at Sara and were speaking almost all at the same time. He could see that Sara was blushing furiously. It had been a very long time since he saw her blush and it was a sight he absolutely loved.
He stood just off the door for a second, taking in the scene in front of him. He wasn't seeing the other people in the room; his eyes were only on Sara.
Grissom saw Sara raise her head and look in his direction. Their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity to Grissom, before she looked away. He saw her look at him again and gave her a smile hoping that she'd return it. He was a bit disappointed that she chose to ignore it and let the rest of the room occupants aware of his presence.
"Hey Griss, you're late." Nick said, approaching and standing beside him facing the group.
"Sorry Nicky," Grissom apologized, his eyes still focused on Sara. She, in turn, looked back at him blankly. "I was figuring out what to do about ... something."
He had meant to convey Sara a message referring to that stupid line he said when she asked him out. She, on the other hand, appeared to not notice it or chose to ignore it.
"Okay, that's some excuse you have," Catherine said, noticing the intense way Grissom was looking at Sara and the latter remaining utterly still. "What have we got for tonight?"
Knocked back to the job at hand, he started assigning the different cases to his team. He had previously made sure that Sara was working with him tonight, taking the first step to restarting their relationship.
As soon as he mentioned that she was going to be working with him, he saw Sara tense up.
Grissom felt a mental kick. Had he screwed their relationship up so bad that she couldn't even stand to work with him anymore? He sighed a bit audibly. He knew that he had only himself to blame for it.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Sara didn't know what game Grissom was playing at, but she didn't appreciate it. She didn't find the smile he had given her nor that look he kept on giving her anywhere near appreciated.
Still feeling emotional from her earlier performance, Sara did not need Grissom's strange and unexplainable attention.
Taking her vest from her locker room, Sara saw Catherine enter and come up right next to her, fishing out something from her own locker.
"So, how was tonight?" she asked.
"Were you there?" Sara asked nervously.
"Nope, I wasn't. I had a date with Lindsey." Catherine answered honestly and Sara believed her.
"You know who was?"
"Maybe you should ask Nick," Catherine said as she closed her locker door. She stopped and looked and Sara. "Hey ... don't worry about it. No one is going to make a big deal of this. You have a lovely voice, and you should use it. It'd be a shame if you didn't."
"It still feels a little strange, y'know." Sara confessed putting on her vest. "It's still weird knowing you all know about it."
"Don't sweat it, we all like it, so there's nothing to worry about." Catherine said to relax her.
"Yeah, well, just tell the guys to make sure none of this ever gets to the boss-man or else." Sra threatened.
Catherine raised her hands in mock surrender as she slowly backed away towards tbe door. "Oh, I'm sure when threatened by you, they'll cower like the boys they are." Sara joined Catherine's laugh at this. The latter said her goodbye and exited the room. Before she did though, she threw Sara another comforting look and said, "Hey ... Good luck tonight."
Sara knew perfectly well what she was referring to. She had wished herself luck as well, hoping to get by working with Grissom tonight.
"Thanks, I'll try to stay afloat," Sara joked before shutting her locker and shortly following Catherine's path.
She found Grissom waiting for her at the reception area. She couldn't tell what his current mood was since his face registered no emotion.
"Hey, have you been waiting long?" Sara said, voice calm. "Sorry for taking long."
"It's okay. Our crime scene won't be leaving anytime soon." Grissom simply stated and walked out of the building leaving Sara to dumbly follow him to their car.
Sara held her breath, afraid that if she spoke it would ruin the silence that crept upon them upon entering their vehicle.
x x x x x x x x x x x
Grissom's mind was going in circles. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this uncomfortable with Sara.
He could feel her sitting rigid beside him and he knew that look on her face. he thought of some topic to discuss with her and try to ease up the tension.
"So, how have you been?" Grissom slapped himself mentally thinking, "Great, that was great. Could you be any smoother?"
"Huh?" Sara asked dumbly. "Oh, I'm ... I'm fine. Why?"
"You've been awfully quiet."
"It's not as if you're chatting me up Griss." came Sara's sarcastic reply. "Besides, how would it look if I started talking to myself? I'd come out psychotic than ever."
"You see yourself as psychotic?" Grissom played along, glad for the sarcastic banter rather than the painful silence.
"Yeah," Sara shrugged nonchalantly. "Most people do."
"I don't." Grissom softly said and looked at her for a second.
Sara remained silent after his comment. He couldn't gauge whether Sara was glad or mad at his comment for her face expressed nothing. Grissom was rapidly losing confidence in his decision to keep a conversation going.
"Why?" Sara's question startled Grissom, coming out after a very long pause.
"Why what?" Grissom asked in a confused voice.
"Why the sudden interest on how I am," her voice was devoid of any emotion. "Have I done something wrong again?"
"Wrong? Sara, I don't know what you mean..."
Sara carefully let out a deep breath before speaking. "Grissom, you've been avoiding me for weeks, granted I've been doing the same to you, but doesn't stop you from keeping tabs on me. So, why now? Why not then?"
Grissom let out a small breath of his own before replying. "I know that I've ... I've been a little distant ..." He didn't get the chance to finish his statement because Sara interrupted him with shock on her voice.
x x x x x x x x x x x
"A little?" Sara's eyes widened and spoke with sarcasm in her voice. "I shudder to think how it would be between us if you completely shut down!"
Once again, silence descended between them. Grissom was racking his brains for an answer to her statement. When at length he didn't speak, she shook her head and continued.
"If I had known asking you to dinner would result to this," Sara's voice had dropped to an almost whisper, filled with sadness. "I'd have definitely thought more of it before doing a relative suicide."
Sara had never experienced such discomfort in Grissom's presence before. The lapses of silence between them have gone to a whole different level and she was itching to get out of it.
Stepping quickly out of the car as soon as Grissom parked their car, she directed her feet towards Brass. She saw the the look that Grissom was giving her as she moved out of their vehicle but disregarded it. Things have gone way downhill from where they were before, and she did not know what that look was for.
She heard him call out her name, but continued on walking until she felt his hand on her arm, pulling her round to face him.
"Sara ... " Grissom pleaded for her to look at him.
Turning to look at his face slowly, she witnessed Grissom nervously forming words with his mouth.
"I want to ..." Grissom stammered. "Let's ... Will you..."
"Griss," Sara saved him from longer torture. She had felt her heart lifting from the nervous way he was talking to her until she remembered, this hopeful thinking always ended up hurting her. She felt her heart drop a million stories. Her eyes ached with the tears that were surely going to flow soon. "Don't," she said. She looked at his eyes once more, seeing confusion register in those blue eyes. "Please don't. I can't handle ... this anymore. I'm so tired ... my heart is so tired." Sara blurted out, afraid that if she didn't, her tears would flow.
"I don't know what you want from me, but for my own sanity, please stop giving me false hopes. Isn't this the whole reason why we're avoiding each other?" As soon as she said it, she quickly turned around and walked off.
