Disclaimer: I do not own a thing, not the characters or the songs!!!!

Chapter One: Breaking The Habit

The cool breese filled the platform, she took in a deep breath, debating whether to face or to run. Fear poured over, the sweat dripping slowly, everything was a fuzz, as if time itseft was fastforwarding around her. Step by step toward the train seemed like an eternity, as though she was heading to her death, going back meant everything would unroll, come flooding back. Up her sleave she felt a drop of blood trickle down, she blinked, the pain took away all others, snapping a rubber band on her wrist she stepped up on the train and headed for hell.

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

"Why don't you shut up, you stole her, just admit it!"

"I didn't steal her, if you hadn't pleased her she would have come running."

"You were supposed to be my best friend, plus you were dating my sister while she was away!"

"She has another boyfriend, and has this whole time, I was just a cover up."

"Then what about me?"

"Look I am sorry that it had to happen this way, but it did, jusat deal."

"I will not deal, friends don't do this to friends."

"And friends don't let girls get in the way of friendship."

"You were the one who let it get in the way Harry, you."

"Ron, can't we just... Hermione! Where have you been all summer?"

"Hermione it is so great to see you, now please tell Harry that he should never have stole Lavender from me."

"I did not steal her Ron!"

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That i'm the one confused

The bickering went on the whole ride, she sat in silence, they didn't notice, they didn't care, they just didn't. They arived, but not soon enough, the choclate frog she ate was coming up, runnign to the bathroom, no one noticed, no one cared. Slamming the door, she was breathing heavy, tears rising, heart thumping, and out it came, everything consumed from that day.

Getting off the train, the sun was gleaming and birds were chirping, something she once would have injoyed, but now, now nothing but a mere memery. There was at least an hour till the feast, that did not matter she was not going, no way in the fucking underworld. The austronamy tower was empty, of course it was, students would not start work yet, but that wasn't why she was there. Out from her purse she grabbed a razor and a bottle of rum, the daily process continuded, first the barffing, check, next the scream, then the swig and the cut.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuh."Deep breaths consumed her, no one heard, no one ever did, she is the quiet one, the nice one, the smart one, the never wrong doing one.

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Hiding in the shadows, she watched her class mates head down, down to happiness she would never feel again. The cut was taking forever to stop bleeding this time, she smiled, it took away the pain. It was time for the rest of process, the bath. One by one everyone cleared, she knew no one asked where she was, they wouldn't notice till they need notes or help, the painting was closing and she made a run for it, safely in. Getting in her bags she found was she needed, off to the baths.

The steam was raising, in went the bubbles, two emeralds, two blood stones, and four lime grass salt stick that she created, picking at her scabs three drops of blood fell into the water. Shedding her clothes she stepped in.

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

There she laid, soking in the sweat aromas, breathing in pieces of her soul again. She thought to herself, where was she in life? Good, evil, what is the difference, they are both fighting for what they think is right, what is right? Will either make life easier? Life, now there is a good question, do any of us really live, what does it mean to live? Why, why her, why there, why now?

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

As she dried words were formulating in her head, ones so familiar, but where? Clothes were on, hair up, contents packed, now to head back to her so called friends. The words were repeating in her head, no one noticed her walk in or up the stairs, grabbing her journal, the words wrote down, But who hath seen wave her hand? Or at the casement seen her stand? Where are these from, doesn't matter anyways, not like she or anyone cared, she wouldn't ask, that would just start things up.

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

In bed she thought and decided that she needed to change, but not go back to her normal perky self, but she couldn't stay this bundled up self hurter anymore. This was it an all new Hermione, would she or anyone be ready, can she really change.

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the Habit

I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Sorry about typos, my computer recently crashed, so I no longer have spelling or grammer check, but I am trying to be really careful....