Hey guys thanks for the reviews on the last chapter cheered me up. Now as you all know I did promise to post this after sitting my driving test sadly I failed. The guy had it in for my I'm telling you that cat came out of no where.

Thanks to zeilfanaat for being the best beta reader ever and adding her much appoved wee bits to this chapter. This is my favorite chapter out of them mind you I haven't written grandma's. Oh yeah you are getting a grandma and jeff chapter somtime in the future. Better be off now thanks for reading and the review and keep reviewing if you want to.

Alan Tracy: the best driver ever

Hello, I suppose you all read the lies that my father and probably also my brothers wrote. They are all lies. Except maybe the cars I crashed… Well, icy roads you know! Yes, you do get ice in Kansas. La la la.

Anyway, I began like all my brothers to drive at age 16. I would have loved to have started younger but no. The old man put his foot down and said that 16 was the responsible age. Blah blah blah.

If I had had lessons once a week instead of whenever Dad had the courage to take me out, I would have passed my test so much faster and wouldn't have had to suffer Gordon's driving as long. Mr. I'm-stressed-Alan-No-I-will-not-go-above-25-mph-on-a-60-freeway.

Well, eventually I found out Dad's trick. For some reason Dad always demanded that we were taught on a Wednesday afternoon. Dad was always busy on Wednesday afternoons, when it came to driving lessons. So one day I was totally down, 'cause, well I wanted to drive and Gordon was annoying me. I decided that I would book some time with Dad in his diary. What did I find. His appointments that he always had, didn't happen. Now, I know what you are all thinking that maybe he remembered them. No. My dad has a memory worse than a fish. Personally I would say it was like a rock. He has to write things down. Even if it is only 15 minutes ahead of when he is going. So he lied. I did the whole pathetic thing around him like at 9 pm. Grandma intervened, and I got regular driving lessons. You just have to know how to work the situation, you know.

OK, so it didn't go as well as one would hope. Dad once didn't tell me he was feeling sick and spewed everywhere all over John's car. Boy those two were mad at me! Hey, it wasn't my fault! I learned my lesson that day. I always carry a spew bag for Dad.

I mean, it isn't as if I am a bad driver. For heaven sakes, I have won car championships after championships. What on Earth makes him think I am a bad driver? How could I be a bad driver? I only crashed my first car like 12 or 13 times, and that's normal right?

Virgil's cars were of course accidental. When did they put a cliff there anyway?

Well, I guess Scott is first to be tattled on. Mr. I-love-speed-and-I-almost-killed-my-youngest-brother. He managed to do this whilst flying round a corner and BAM! Into a field. Well, wasn't it a good thing that Dad was away on business, and that high school kids know a hell of a lot about mending a car quickly.

Scott, I wish you would learn what a gear stick is. Honestly, taking corners that fast isn't right and I should know. I used to race cars and I never went that speed. My lord, I was only 10 at the time. That is a very fragile time for a young kid. Virgil with his paintings of clowns and Scott with his driving… There's no hope for me.

Scott has his uses. Like getting me out of jail. With no penalty points. Fantastic! I knew Scott would always come through.

John will be next. Driving in a car with John is the most funny thing you will do. He screams, he yells, he barges through the traffic. It is the best ride of your life. What dad says about John is just wrong. Dad is a weakling. I personally love it. John is so funny and loud. Not your usual John. He once got into a fight with a valet at a LA hotel. My, oh my, the guy was driving slow! Worse than Gordon! By Lord, John gave it to him, 'cause that man really was a slow coach behind the wheel of a car. Well, actually you were only allowed to go 5mph and John was at around 50, but really… You should be allowed to go 45 at least.

John is supposed to be the nice brother and give you things. Fat chance. I once or twice or maybe some more times asked him to lend me some cash. The local sheriff had it in for me and kept fining me. I asked John for help. What does he do? Start charging interest from the first minute! OK, so Dad spewed in your car once. How is that my fault?

Virgil's driving is alright. He is plain as a mill. Mr. I-drive-normal. Except when either he is hung over or has an exam soon. Then he is a fun driver. 'Cause then he isn't in control. I mean, once we ended up on a railway line with a train due any minute. The pressure, the stress was so much fun! I only like his driving when he goes like that. Actually, Virgil did have his uses.

I managed to borrow his car a lot, like when I kept crashing mine. I think I crashed mine around eight times in two months and always before a Saturday night. Virgil was in Russia doing something. So a nice little phone call was placed every Saturday. Now, time is different there and I always managed to phone around 2 am his time.

Virgil always likes to follow local customs. Russian local custom: vodka straight. I would be surprised if Virgil could even remember me phoning and crashing his car. I know he knows that I crashed his Ford Focus, but the Thunderbird was just a freak accident. Honestly!

Gordon is the worst and most boring driver ever, besides Virgil. I mean, the guy has no guts. He will drive a boat through fire (probably shouldn't have mentioned that) but a car… He is worse than an old woman! He has like a thousand things to do before he'll drive a car. The man is a menace on the road and possibly in the water as well. But please, let's hope he never decides to buy a car. 'Cause then the driving as we know it would slow down… Slower than a snail.

Dad is totally wrong! Both me and John are good drivers!