Authors Notes: Oh Kami-sama this chapter was hard to write. Gomen nasai if it's terrible, I just need to speed things along and all. I woke up at like 2am one morning and got my ending for this story, but that doesn't help me much now. ::earth shattering sigh:: Well in any case, I hope it passes as an okay entry.

Had to be Fate

# Inside the kitchen – Yaone's Restaurant #

"Good evening Yaone-san." Hakkai happily spoke as he moved into the kitchen. No one seemed to bother Hakkai for he had actually worked out the back here several hours a week at times, but only if the Yaone felt short staffed. He picked up a small container, placing more red ginger into it knowing how Sanzo liked his noodles and then grabbed another sake bottle while he was at it too.

"I haven't seen you for an entire week, how have you been Hakkai-san?" The waitress/chef questioned the tall smiling man.

"Well I've been busy with helping students and-"

"Hakkai-san you better come quickly, Goyjo-san is causing a scene!" A waitress spoke as she had rushed straight into the kitchen. Hakkai and Yaone gave each other confused glances before they both headed out of the kitchen to see what all the fuss was about. Two pairs of eyes noticed that not a single customer was eating and in fact were staring at a certain table or more importantly a certain waiter who was leaning over it and staring angrily at the ever frowning Sanzo.

"I'm terribly sorry about all this Yaone-san. I'll get to the bottom of it right away." Hakkai murmured before heading closer to the table as he weaved his way through the packed restaurant.

"What did you just say?" Hakkai noted as he got closer that there was definitely an angered tone in Sanzo's usual unemotional voice. He had come in half way through the commotion, but it wasn't long before he found out what Goyjo had said to Sanzo.

"I said...you Sanzo, are such a greedy yaoi whore."

"Goyjo!" Hakkai shockingly remarked as he stood a few steps away from his redhead friend, who now stood up properly and turned his red eyes over his shoulder to look at the wide eyed brunette. A small amount of guilt quickly began to form in Goyjo's stomach, but all was forgotten as the front of his shirt and vest were jerked towards a now standing Sanzo. Menacing amethyst eyes locked with narrowed red ones.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Che, I should say the same thing to you. I can't believe you'd devote so much attention to a little monkey when Hakkai is right in front of you!" A smashing sound interrupted the petty fighting as Sanzo and Goyjo both turned to see Hakkai standing there with his head bowed looking down at the shattered sake bottle. Moving over the pottery shards and spilled liquid Hakkai quietly made his way to the angered auras of Goyjo and Sanzo while customers and two extremely confused teenagers looked on.

"Where do you get off-" Unfortunately Sanzo was never able to finish as his hands were pried away from Goyjo's clothing by Hakkai and then he proceeded to silently observe as the brunette turned Goyjo to face him, though his emerald eyes were still turned to the tiled floor.

"Oi, Hakkai, I'm just look-"

"Just stop Goyjo..." Finally turning his eyes up, red ones widened once more at the frowning face of Hakkai. His eyes weren't the sparkled emerald colouring they usually were and in fact held a 'sadness' within them as they were more of an olive green now. Sanzo remained quiet through the ordeal but he too had been surprised at the sudden change in Hakkai's behaviour.

"Your face...it's like when Kanan..."

"Please Goyjo...no more..." Hakkai muttered as his hands tightened on Goyjo's shoulders. Hakkai knew he was getting glances from customers and most in particular from Sanzo. "I know you worry for me, but for once please don't interfere. This matter doesn't concern you." Hakkai spoke softly once more.

"Che, whatever..." Goyjo remarked as he eyed the still standing Sanzo but noticed that amethyst eyes were now glued entirely onto Hakkai's statue like form. Moving away from the table, Goyjo muttered to Yaone as he passed her that he required some fresh air. The restaurant fell silent as Hakkai lightly sighed before turning to face numerous tables with a big smile on his face.

"I'm terribly sorry for the interruption." He spoke kindly while he bowed at the customers and this instantly got people back to their own conversations while his eyes frowned at Yaone who went around to every table to apologise to the customers for the sudden interruption.

"I'll be back in a min-" A hand clapped his shoulder rendering him speechless and motionless once more.

"Sit and eat." Was the only command from Sanzo.

"But Goyjo..."

"Needs some time alone. Now sit and eat with us." Emerald eyes glanced down at the nodding heads of Lirin and Goku as he quietly sat back into the booth seat next to Sanzo.

"Here Hakkai, I saved you a meat bun!" Goku spoke as he placed the last one onto a plate and handed it to Hakkai.

"That's very kind of you Goku, thank you." Hakkai voiced with a smile on his face.

"Ah, that's the Hakkai I know!"

"Eh?" Blinking at the teenager, Goku couldn't help but smile once more before voicing his opinion.

"Smiling Hakkai is far better then a frowning one for sure! Ne Sanzo?" While quietly eating his stir-fry Hakkai glanced his orbs at the quietly drinking Sanzo who was in fact staring up at the ceiling of the restaurant. He spoke nothing of what Goku stated and instead went back to eating his dinner. That is when Hakkai remembered the ginger and quickly grabbed it from where he had left it sitting – on another customers table – and apologised to the couple sitting there while he was at it too.

"Hai, Sanzo." Hakkai spoke as he placed the white container beside the author. Eyeing the contents amethyst eyes raised to meet emerald.

"You aren't my waiter. It's not your job to serve me." Blinking owlishly at Sanzo's words Hakkai couldn't help but lightly laugh at him, which he noticed the frown on Sanzo's face deepened as he did so.

"I was out the back talking to Yaone-san before Goyjo interrupted your dinner and I figured you'd want some more red ginger since you like it so much. I after all have worked here from time to time so I'm used to serving others." Sanzo glanced down at the red ginger before picking it up and dumping it into his noodles. At this Hakkai quietly chuckled. He'd figured out three things Sanzo couldn't say no to and they were cigarettes, beer and extra red ginger in his noodles.

"Ne Hakkai, does that mean you can cook all of this food yourself?"

"That's right Goku." Hakkai answered the golden eyed teenager.

"Yattaa! Hakkai can you cook stir-fry tomorrow night?" Hakkai and Sanzo watched as Lirin and Goku looked at each other with large smiles before turning back their watering pouting eyes to the brunette. "Onegai?" They both yelled with their hands in pray mode and eyes now closed.

"We'll see alright? My apartments plumbing problem could be fixed by now."

"You mean...you're going back home?" Goku muttered in a sad voice.

"That depends if the contractors were efficient. If not I'll stay for another night, but I don't want to impose on you and Sanzo for too much longer."

"Demo..."

"Saru, eat your food before it gets cold." Sanzo icily remarked as he gulped down the rest of his beer before shoving some meat into his mouth. What he didn't want to admit to (once again) was that those words had actually struck him cold as well.

He was never one for company or more importantly never one for people and yet Hakkai had miraculously made him feel comfortable...or more importantly made him feel. This was an accomplishment beyond belief. Sanzo couldn't work out what he liked about the brunette, but perhaps it was the mysteriousness or the fact he had an abundant amount of knowledge. His nature was light hearted hence why many seemed to like him and his humourous side that Sanzo could connect with at times was edged with sarcasm and cynicism, two things Sanzo knew well. Just the thought of trying to work it all out was giving Sanzo a headache and thus he pushed it from his mind and continued to eat and lightly converse with the now smiling brunette, be he would go through a thought process when he was alone for sure.

The meal moved along without another hitch and before Hakkai knew it he was bowing and waving goodbye to Yaone as she saw the four of them off. Stepping onto the footpath Hakkai faced Sanzo and the two teenagers.

"Would you like a lift home before I stop by my apartment?"

"Are you really not coming home with us Hakkai?" Sanzo almost rolled his eyes at the pouting face Goku was making and smacked him on the head instead and muttered out a 'baka saru'. Perhaps he hated the fact that Goku said whatever he felt.

"I have to stop by there and pick up a few books anyway. While I'm there I'll see if the bathroom is repaired or not."

"The door will be open. Let's go Sarus'." Sanzo turned around and began walking off, hands in his pockets as he did so and a fresh cigarette at the corner of his lips.

"Oyasumi nasai." Hakkai remarked as he received waves from Lirin and Goku and a glance over the shoulder from Sanzo. It was something right? Heading for his jeep Hakkai got in and made his way towards his apartment complex.

# Hakkai's Apartment Building – Level 3, Room 8 #

Stepping out of the lift, Hakkai's eyes peered over at the slumped figure next to his door. He smiled lightly knowing the redhead would have come here eventually and kneeled down to shake his best friend awake.

"Goyjo, you'll complain about a sore neck all day tomorrow if you continue to sleep like that." Red eyes snapped open to stare over at Hakkai and finally Goyjo stood up, stretched and then placed an unlit cigarette between his lips. He spoke of nothing as Hakkai opened his apartment door and walked inside.

"Oi Hakkai?"

"Yes?" The emerald eyed teacher moved about his apartment picking up some books that had been left stacked on his coffee table and then checked his bathroom to see it was half ripped out. "Still not finished yet?" He muttered to himself as he flicked off the lights and headed out the door where a silent Goyjo was still standing.

"What is it that you wanted to say Goyjo?"

"Oh, um, about earlier..."

"Don't worry about it." Hakkai cut in knowing Goyjo apologizing was like getting Sanzo to fully smile...or perhaps even laugh. Near impossible, but not unattainable, so he decided to make it easier for the guy and let the situation slide. "I appreciate you trying to help me, but don't you think your little commotion has embarrassed me even more?"

"I wasn't trying to..."

"I know Goyjo, but please don't mouth off when you don't know the full facts. What made you become so angry in the first place to say such words like that to Sanzo?"

"You were doting on him like a freaking wife Hakkai and he was doing nothing but paying attention to that monkey kid!" At this Hakkai couldn't help but laugh.

"Is that all this was about? Goyjo, that kid is his. Not truly his of course, but Sanzo is Goku's guardian. He has to pay attention to him, Sanzo is all Goku has." At this new found information Goyjo's open mouth closed shut.

"But...you do like him...right?" Hakkai's eyebrows rose up at the mumbled question as Goyjo's eyes would not stare into his own as he moved them about the 3rd floor of his apartment building.

"Of course I do. He trusted me to care for Goku's studies and allowed me into his home as well."

"Why'd you pick him?"

"Pick him? Goyjo what is it you are really asking me? Just spit it out already and be done with it."

"You have a thing for him don't you?"

"We aren't children Goyjo, what is a 'thing'?"

"Don't play dumb with me Hakkai! I know you possess strong feelings for that stuck up arrogant blonde bastard writer!"

"Now Goyjo, you shouldn't..." Surprised emerald eyes gazed up at his slightly taller friend as he was pushed against the wall harshly while his books fell from his light grip to the floor in a heap.

"Don't bypass my question Hakkai. Just tell me the truth."

"What is it that you really want to know Goyjo? Do you want to know my answer of whether I like Sanzo? Or do you want to know whether I stopped liking you because I met him?" Red eyes widened at Hakkai's words and the frown on his face. Goyjo pushed away from Hakkai and stood up with his hands in his pockets, cigarette limp between his lips as he fumbled for his lighter and lit it up.

"Che, I don't care." A somewhat bitter laugh escaped Hakkai's lips as he bent down to pick up the books from the carpeted hallway.

"Yes you do or else you wouldn't be here. First of all, if you want the truth, I do like him. How much you might be pondering? I haven't a clue myself. You may ask me over and over again of 'why him' and the answer doesn't come to me clearly either. His attitude to life needs a bit of adjustment, but his outlook of living for himself even though he is looking after Goku is very powerful...very uplifting to witness. To have such strong emotional strength even when one could be hurting on the inside is something I truly admire in him. I don't believe I've ever been emotionally strong and could ever hide it away like Sanzo does. Even so...seeing him makes me feel..."

"Feel what?" Goyjo muttered as Hakkai had died off as he stood once more, books in hand. Emerald finally caught red.

"I'm not sure really, but I'd like to hang onto it...whatever it is...for as long as I can." Stepping towards Goyjo, Hakkai placed a hand on his best friends shoulder. "I appreciate everything you've done for me Goyjo, but unless I face life and perhaps even rejection on my own, how will I ever cope?"

"What about me then?" Smiling at the fidgeting redhead Hakkai continued on.

"First and foremost you are my best friend Goyjo. You've helped me through tough times of when Kanan fell in love with me and when she passed on and for that I'll never be able to repay you. I did love you, truly I did, but you would not be happy with me Goyjo." Parting his lips to try and protest Hakkai's words, Goyjo was silenced when slim fingers pressed lightly against his lips. "Will you let me finish?" Nodding his head, he felt the coolness of Hakkai's fingers drop from his lips.

"I will always love you Goyjo, but never in the way I used to. I'm not someone who can share their loved one with other lovers. I'm sure I'm quite possessive really and for that we would have never made a good match. You love the body of a woman too much...and that is something I can't take away from you." Laughing at his own comment Hakkai lifted his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. "I stopped loving you long ago and not because of Sanzo. You don't need to feel you are in competition with him for you are my best friend and he is...well...Goku's guardian actually. Truthfully until your little incident he knew nothing of the fact that I am..."

"Normal...you're normal to me. People love who they love, its as simple as that." Smiling at Goyjo's words Hakkai headed for the lift with him.

"I wonder what he'll say when I get back to the house?"

"You think he knows?"

"With that blatant display you showed, of course. He is extremely smart after all."

"You could come to my place...and no strings attached of course." Laughing at Goyjo's words Hakkai stepped into the lift as he hit the ground floor button.

"That is very nice of you, but my things are at Sanzo's and I will have to face him sometime. I am Goku's teacher after all."

"Always with the positive words huh?"

"I have to be or else what I spoke about facing life and coping with rejection will all be a lie. I won't accept running away within myself anymore." Swinging an arm over the brunette, Goyjo side glanced at the wide eyed Hakkai.

"Heh, you must really like this moron if you think that way." Smirking at the faint blush crossing Hakkai's features he felt the brunette brush his arm away, cough lightly and then move out of the lift when they hit the ground floor.

"Oi Hakkai?" Turning around to face his friend and hoping to all Gods that his blush wasn't there, he watched the redhead give him a serious look as he pressed on.

"If he hurts you, I won't be so calm in letting him get away with it so lightly like you did the last guy."

"Last guy, but Goyjo I never..." Stopping what he was going to say Hakkai instead nodded at Goyjo's words before watching him leave. It finally clicked that Goyjo was referring to himself and it seemed that he hadn't fully forgiven himself for not loving him back the way he had wanted. Shaking his head, not wanting to dwell on the past, Hakkai got back into 'Hakuryu' and headed back towards Sanzo's house.

# Sanzo's House #

Getting out of his jeep, Hakkai quietly made his way to the dark home of Sanzo and Goku. Glancing at his watch Hakkai realised it was about 10:30pm and knew his little errand had taken longer then he was expected. His 'chit chat' with Goyjo was of course unexpected. Turning the handle of the door, Hakkai quietly crept into the house and closed it without a sound. The lock went and then he pried his shoes from his feet and loosened his tie from his neck.

Glancing between the two closed doors of the study and Goku's room Hakkai raised his hand as though to knock on the study, but thought better to leave Sanzo be and headed for the dark lounge room. He had quite the photographic memory and knew exactly where everything was. Sitting quietly in the dark, Hakkai removed his glasses and placed them on the glass table next to the pile of books he brought in. With that done he began to remove his socks, tie and shirt. With only two buttons remaining on his black shirt, the silence was shattered.

"I thought someone like you would easily read the chi of another in the room." Jumping at that voice, Hakkai's eyes darted around the darkness and finally as they adjusted, with the help from the moonlight streaming in through a window, he found a fuzzy outline of Sanzo lying on the couch.

"I thought you were in your study and I didn't want to bother you." Hearing movement and then an initial click, a lamp was turned on and Hakkai stared over at a black track suit pant, white singlet wearing Sanzo with disheveled blonde hair. His arms were folded over his slim physique and ironically a cigarette was nowhere in sight.

"I'm sorry I took longer then expected, but I ran into Goyjo."

"Ran into?"

"Okay, so he was randomly at my apartment waiting for me if you want to get technical."

"I see..."

"Ano, Sanzo?"

"What?" Amethyst eyes were staring down at Hakkai's overnight bag and then they lifted to see Hakkai still sitting down, long bangs covering his eyes and his opened shirt showing a generous portion of lightly tanned skin.

"About what Goyjo said, I apologise for his behaviour."

"Is such a womanizer always jealous of his friend having dinner with others?" Blinking rapidly at what Sanzo said, Hakkai chuckled lightly before getting up to place his tie over the back of the chair.

"It's...a little more complicated then that." Fisting his hands into the cushioned recliner chair, Hakkai frowned as he wasn't actually getting to the point and in fact was beating around it. Silence ensued.

"You shouldn't leave things lying out unless you want them to be read." Sanzo finally broke the 'tension' as he was becoming fed up with Hakkai not answering his question. To emphasize what he had said he picked up the book Hakkai always held when he was asleep and threw it onto the coffee table listening to it make a soft thud as it hit the table top. "Don't do it again." Sanzo lightly scolded the silent brunette who was staring down at the book.

"Did you read it?"

"Of course not!" Sanzo barked back before turning to gaze out the window.

"I see... Do you want to know about it?"

"Che, it's not my business." Observing Sanzo standing near the window like a defiant statue, Hakkai couldn't help but smile at the profile shot of the man before him.

"But you are intrigued ne?" Hakkai quietly asked and watched as Sanzo darted amethyst eyes towards him before they glanced at the digital clock on his VCR.

"It's late and I've got work to do." Moving out of the lounge room and past Hakkai, Sanzo's eyes widened in the darkness when his wrist was caught in a strong grip. Though Hakkai looked quite frail, it appeared appearances were very deceiving.

"You can't stand to be in the same room as me now correct? You know what I like, so you are uncomfortable with me now ne?"

"Let go..." Sanzo grounded out and felt the grip on his wrist loosen as he headed straight for his study and closed himself off from the rest of his house. Sighing for the umpteenth time, Hakkai laid down on the couch and before he knew it he was thrown into a restless sleep as he began tossing and turning of what tomorrow would bring for him.

Sanzo however, was still standing at his very door, back pressed against it until his legs gave out and he slid to the wooden floorboards. Pressing his hand to try and cover his face, Sanzo wanted desperately to slow down his heart.

"Shit..."

# to be continued... #