Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the song. Nicholas Spark and Toya do.
Moving on
I leant back against the tree watching the sun set over the lake, painting the sky a blur of red, yellow and purple. Above me, the light breeze whistled softly through the tree, letting the leaves dance gently to the ground. Another perfect autumn day, one that you would have loved.
Just getting used to waking up everyday
And not seeing your face,
I just began to stop setting your place
And I stopped longing for your warm embrace
It's been three years since you've passed on, yet I still haven't stopped missing you. Time doesn't heal wounds, it only numbs the pain.
And it was God that made me able
To finally sleep at night
Though you're not by my side
Finally I don't hardly cry
Footsteps approach but I stay there unmoving as someone sits down next to me. Together we sat in silence watching the first of the stars appear, before Belinda finally speaks.
"It's been three years Landon; she would want you to move on."
I nod, knowing what she said was true, yet I couldn't bring myself to do it.
"I still love her. I don't think I can ever stop loving her."
"No one expects you to; just coz you've moved on doesn't mean you don't love her. I don't think anyone can ever stop loving her." She gave me a sad smile, "You know you're not the only one she changed that year." She gave me a hug and peck on the cheek, "I am here anytime if you need to talk" I nodded and watched as she drove down the street and around the corner, disappearing from my sight.
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
By now, the sky was filled with stars. Picking myself up, I moved back into our cottage, the one where we shared those bittersweet last days together. I walked through the living room. Nothing much has changed; the same photos line the bookshelf, the photos of us in the play, our wedding day and your favourite, the one of us at the beach without a care in the world. I picked up the mail that was lying on the coffee table. Telephone bill, letter from mother, letter from Eric, I paused at the last envelope, a mail order catalogue, insignificant and trivial yet my heart broke at the addressee Mr and Mrs Landon Carter. I laid the letters back down and picked up instead a set of typed sheets.
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Coz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life and why
Now that your gone I'm holding' on
Coz deep in my heart I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
My eyes skimmed carefully over the pages. It took me over fifteen minutes to take it all in, but finally I grasped the pen that lay there beside the mail and with a slight hesitation, I placed pen to paper and signed my name, Landon Carter. The deed now done, I flopped onto the couch. I laid there motionless for a long time, thinking about what I had just done, before finally grabbing the phone. My fingers danced over the number pad dialling the familiar numbers.
"Hello" Belinda's voice came through the speaker after the second ring.
"I did it. I've signed the contract." I paused before letting out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. "I'm going to sell the cottage. I'm going to move on."
Bright rays of sunlight filtered through the curtain and right into my eyes. With a groan, I rolled over and returned to sleep, only to have a shrill ring break the silence. I gave the alarm the evil eye, before finally turning it off. Groggily I stumbled out of bed and into a box and fell back into the bed. With a sigh, I got back off the bed and this time walked around the box and into the bathroom.
I finally put your clothes away
You know the ones you wore the day
That you were taken away from me
I just began to stop wearing my ring
An hour later, after showering and breakfast, I returned to my room. Pausing at the doorway, I surveyed the sight before me. It was a mess, there were boxes everywhere. It had been a week since I had signed the contract, five days since I handed it back to the real estate agent and three days before I handed the keys over. I tried to organise the mess before giving up completely and returned to packing. One wardrobe cleared another one left. You can do this, you can do this. The thought ran through my head before I finally opened the last wardrobe door, the one which had been untouched since your death. I lifted the first dress from the wardrobe, the sky blue one you wore at the play, the one where I first kissed. My fingers lingered over the smooth silk, before I finally folded it and placed in one of the few empty boxes. It took me over half a day to clear that wardrobe, each dress, each shirt, each pair of pants, everything brought back memories of our precious moments together. Painful memories, but ones which I would not trade for anything. Ever. I knew those memories would flood my dreams tonight.
I looked at the empty fourth finger on my left hand, a band of white still marking where the ring had been. It's bareness shocked me and I was tempted to put it back on. Instinctively I turned to the black velvet box where two gold rings laid together side by side.
You lay on the bed, so fragile and vulnerable, yet your face shows nothing of the pain you are in. Your hand rests in mine and together we sat in silence, knowing your last days had finally caught up to us. Slowly you move your hand away and our eyes meet and finally you break the silence.
"Landon, I want you to find someone else when I'm gone, don't just dwell on me forever."
I shook my head, "You know that only you will ever have my heart"
You smiled, but continued. "I know, but don't live the rest of your life in sorrow, I want you to be happy, to have security, to be free." A single drop of tear ran down your face as I watched in shock as you remove your wedding ring, "I will love you forever Landon, even when I'm in heaven." You hand your wedding ring to me, "But I want you to move on. Give this ring to someone else"
I made a move to take off my ring, but you stop me. "Don't."
The gold rings sparkled lightly in the sun, so optimistic and hopeful. I could never give your ring to anyone else. It is yours and yours alone. But I could never deny you anything either. Instead I took off my ring. I'm moving on, but I'll always love you.
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Coz in my heart you still live on
So now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life and why
And now that you're gone
I'm holding on
Coz deep in my heart I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
A/N: Just a little idea I had, which I wrote throughout the holidays. I tried to stick as true to the story as possible, sorry if things contradict. Please review, flames welcome. And the song is Toya's Moving On. It's a really sweet and heartbreaking song.