Sacrificing a Secret
AN:
Extra long chapter folks!
'Cause you make me feel so loved!
And since was read-only for a bit during the week.
Warning, I do not know how to properly congegate Latin. I took Spanish because my school did not offer Latin. Actually, my College doesn't offer it either. Which really sucks. So I had to try to teach myself... Please note the word 'TRY'
I don't own HP.
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"I thought you said there was nothing on your back," Snape sneered before Dumbledore silenced him with a glare of his own.
Harry silently put his shirt back on and refused to look at anyone in the room.
"That sure looks like something to me," Snape said after an uncomfortable silence ruled the room for a few moments. "You have an interesting idea what 'nothing' is. Shall I get a dictionary for you so you know what we believe the definition of 'nothing' is?"
"That's enough Severus," Dumbledore said severely as Remus looked at Harry, who still refused to face anyone, in shock. The headmaster turned to his student and asked, "Harry, why didn't you tell someone?"
"It isn't as bad as it looks," Harry said quietly.
Remus finally managed to break the through his petrified state of shock and exclaimed, "Not as bad as it looks? Harry! You must have thirty lashing scars on your back! Of course it's as bad as it looks! No one should be hurt like that, let alone a child!"
"Remus, calm down please. Yelling won't help anything," Dumbledore told the werewolf and then turned to Harry. "Harry, why didn't you tell anyone, a teacher at your primary school or a neighbor? Why didn't you tell us when you came here?"
"It wasn't that bad, it didn't happen that often," Harry insisted studying his hands thoroughly.
"Oh, so that's why your mind was filled with memories of your uncle beating the living shit out of you? It didn't happen that often and you just imagined it over and over again as a child altering it each time you imagined it?" Snape snapped angrily.
"No," Harry replied vehemently.
"Then why didn't you tell anyone?" Snape hissed.
Harry was again silent.
The Headmaster gave the Potions Master a look as he conjured up some tea which Harry couldn't see do to his refusal to look at anyone. However Remus caught Snape taking out a certain crystal vial from within his robes and opened his mouth to protest when Dumbledore shook his head slightly at the werewolf not allowing any argument. Snape put three drops of the truth potion into a cup of tea.
"Harry would you like a cup of tea?" Dumbledore asked kindly.
"No," Harry replied still not looking at any of the three men.
"Are you sure? It will make you feel better," Dumbledore insisted.
"I'm positive. I don't care for that type of tea," Harry spat. "I find it leaves me feeling as if my tongue has been forcibly loosened. Umbridge offered it to me last year as well."
Dumbledore sighed and massaged his temples with his fingers while Remus smirked slightly, glad that Harry wasn't that naive.
"Potter, you'll have to answer the questions truthfully and since you obviously refuse to give us any information we will have to either dose you with Veritaserum or go through your mind with Legimency," Snape said coldly.
"Why?" Harry demanded coldly. "You want more ammunition to make my life worse? Besides, I'm telling the truth."
"But we need to know it's the truth," Dumbledore explained calmly.
"And you can't take my word for it?" Harry asked accusingly.
"It's a common fact that people tend to lie about being abused," Snape said abruptly.
"People also lie when they don't have their homework done," Harry retorted. "But I don't see you whipping out truth potions to test their trustworthiness."
"However homework is a petty thing when compared to your physical well being," the headmaster explained patiently.
"Tell that to Hermione," Harry muttered under his breath, which caused Remus to hold in a chuckle despite the situation.
"Nevertheless we need to confirm the truth so that we may press appropriate charges against your uncle," Dumbledore said.
"None," Harry replied shortly. "I only have one more summer with the Dursleys Its stupid to charge them with anything."
"Harry its not pointless," Remus said looking at the boy seriously. "No one deserves to be hurt by their own family."
"Then why don't you press charges against Professor Dumbledore? He's the one who insisted I lived with them," Harry snapped.
"Harry, I again apologize," the headmaster said. "But we need to know the extent of what occurred. And if we must, we will use Occlumency or Veritaserum. This cannot go unpunished."
"Why? Because I'm the boy who lived?" Harry demanded hiding his apprehension about being put under the truth potion, Snape could ask about that first night back in the castle, or that damned potion that Snape wouldn't let him drink and finally end the threat. Damn Snape… everything fucked up in his life in the past six years could be traced back to that bastard… no… that was not quite true, Voldemort helped a hell of a lot…
"Not at all," Dumbledore said. "Any child who is suspected of being abused would be treated the same."
"Oh, did you treat Snape like this when you found out he was abused?" Harry muttered bitterly.
"Potter!" Snape spat out angrily. "Fifty…"
"Enough Severus," Dumbledore said quickly as Remus looked between the other three people in the room confused. "Harry, this is not about Professor Snape. This is about you and what your relatives have done. Now I ask you, please tell the truth without us forcing you to."
Snape glared at the Headmaster and then at Harry and then at Remus seemingly unable to figure out who he hated more at that moment while Harry thought quickly. His longest kept secret was going to be exposed but Snape would try his damnest to expose his newest secret.
"I'll tell…" Harry said after a minute finally looking at the headmaster.
"There's a good boy," Dumbledore said approvingly.
Harry stayed silent for another minute before asking, "Does Snape have to be here?"
"Potter, I've already seen your memories, you can't hide it from me," Snape said sourly. "I'm not leaving, I'm here to confirm your version of the truth."
"Enough Severus," Dumbledore said for the umpteenth time during that meeting and rubbed his eyes. "Harry you have to tell all of us."
"Fine," Harry muttered looking back down at his hands. He stayed silent.
"Harry, when did your Uncle start hitting you?" Remus finally asked ignoring reproving glances from Dumbledore who apparently thought Harry would be able to start by himself.
Snape snorted to himself wondering why the headmaster would think Potter would be any different from any of the other children throughout his years as headmaster who arrived in his office for the same reason.
"I don't remember, I was too small," Harry said quietly. He stayed silent for another minute and it looked as if Remus was going to have to ask another question for Harry to say anything more when Harry started to talk again. "It started off as an occasional slap, or punch when I did something wrong, or when something weird happened," after Harry said that the words just came cascading out of his mouth. "He beat me the first time when I was seven, I couldn't really move after that. They hid me in my cupboard until the bruises on my face vanished.
"Petunia told Vernon not to hit me in the face so much, it would be obvious if I kept disappearing. So Vernon was more careful but he allowed himself to hit me unrestrained once every few months, he was usually really pissed when that happened. But he was careful never to cause scarring except when he used the belt, he couldn't have lasting marks… Which is why he never cut me or anything, bruises and broken ribs could easily be hidden by clothes or makeup if I absolutely had to go out in public. The last beating was on Dudley's eleventh birthday… he was pissed off. I accidentally made the glass that was keeping a snake in the zoo vanish and it 'attacked' Dudley. Some of the scars on my back are from that…
"He mostly stopped once I got my letters, afraid I expect," Harry said standing up. "Excuse me. I need to get back to the tower."
"I'll walk with you, make sure you don't get lost down any passage ways again," Remus said standing up also.
"Harry," Dumbledore said right before Harry walked out the door. "My door is always open if you would like to talk... about anything at all."
"Sure Professor," Harry replied non-committingly and walked out of the door, down the stairs, and to Gryffindor tower, not speaking another word to the werewolf trailing him.
"I'll see you in class Harry," Remus said when they reached the Fat Lady. "And if you don't feel like talking to the headmaster, I always have an ear open, and tea bags at the ready."
"Sure Professor," Harry said giving him the same response he gave the headmaster. "Aberror abutus."
Harry climbed into the tower silently and closed the portrait door behind him. He went over to the fire and sat in front of it, close to where Hermione and Ron were doing homework and stared at the fire, as though memorized by the flames. Hermione noticed and nudged Ron in the ribs and nodded at Harry.
Ron was about to complain while rubbing his ribs but saw the reflective state Harry seemed to be in. Hermione nodded at Harry again with a pointed look at Ron. Taking the hint, Ron walked over to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder, causing Harry to recoil slightly as he turned around, something Hermione didn't miss but Ron did.
"You alright mate?" Ron asked as Hermione came over to join them.
"Fine," Harry said flatly.
"No you're not," Hermione said softly sitting beside him, careful not to touch him.
"Yes well I don't really want to talk about it with people in the common room now do I?" Harry snapped.
"Will you talk to us then?" Hermione asked calmly.
"Maybe," Harry said going back to staring into the flames.
Hermione joined him; staring into the flames as she thought about the state her best friend was in. He was getting more and more withdrawn, even last year after Cedric's death he wasn't this withdrawn. Last year he was quick to anger, loudly yelling when something ticked him off, but this year he had resorted to a cold anger and silence. He didn't appear to be sleeping a lot, he had dark bags around his eyes and he seemed to really zone out during diner. Not only that but he was becoming increasingly edgy when people touched him. A couple of theories started to form in her mind when she realized that the last seventh year in the common room was going up the stairs to her dormitory, leaving the Gryffindor trio alone.
"Harry?" Hermione asked hesitantly. "What's wrong?"
"Every damn thing in the world," Harry replied.
"Care to narrow the list a bit mate?" Ron asked grinning.
"Snape is a fucking bastard," Harry said standing up and walking over to the nearest couch. He pointed his wand to each of the walls, saying "Silencio" every time. Then he calmly picked up a pillow off of the couch and threw it as hard as he could at the wall, "SNAPE" he screamed as he threw another pillow, "IS" and continued to throw pillows to accent each word of the sentence, "A… FUCKING… BASTARD!"
He stalked to the next couch as Ron asked, "What the hell did he do?"
Hermione just watched.
"He has to go prying," he threw a pillow, "Through my fucking life. He HAS to" he started to throw books now. "Make my life fucking miserable! He HAD to go through my memories. Tell the fucking headmaster. IT WAS NONE OF HIS DAMNED BUSINESS! What right does he have to pry? He's a fucking git!"
"Harry calm down, what happened?" Hermione said from across the room as Ron watched Harry in amazement.
Harry turned to her and said quietly, "The bastard went through my fucking memories. My fucking childhood. I didn't bleeding want him to go through those damned memories! I put up so many fucking blocks, but nooooo… he decides to go past the damned blocks. THEN he had to go and tell Dumbledore! And DUMBLEDORE has the GALL to say that I can speak to him whenever the hell I feel like it! He fucking avoided me last year! He went out of his bleeding way to stay out of my way!"
Ron fidgeted uncomfortably not knowing what to do or say to his friend. Hermione took pity on him and said, "Ron, go up to the dorm, I need to talk to Harry."
"Oh, and what do you want me to talk to you about without Ron?" Harry demanded.
"I'll tell you once he's gone," Hermione replied as calmly as she could with her heart beating furiously. Harry's rants had put one theory she had come up with to the front of her mind and if she was going to be any help at all to Harry, she couldn't have Ron acting stupid around him.
"Um…" Ron said looking between his two friends, torn between escaping an uncomfortable situation and the need to help his friend.
"Just go Ron," Hermione commanded glaring at him.
"You going to be alright Harry?" Ron asked nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Just go, Hermione obviously wants to talk about something and she can be bleeding stubborn," Harry said not looking at his friend.
Hermione watched Ron go up the stairs before turning to Harry.
"Harry, what happened? Why didn't you want Snape to see your childhood, and why did he tell Dumbledore about what he found?" Hermione asked.
Harry turned sharply to Hermione and looked at her, realizing that she had already figured it out and just wanted his confirmation.
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AN:
One second please...
Flame, review, comment, critize, I don't care... just hit the review button!
Please?
Oh yes... A one-shot non-romance angst fic on the person of your choice if you can tell me what I MEANT to say with the Gryffindor Tower password. This requires a bit of work on your side since I didn't have the exact words I wanted.