Forgotten Memories, Painful Past
A/N: I will officially be updating every Friday from now on. Enjoy!
Chapter TwoThe Boy Who Wanted to Die
Harry didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. Not this year, not ever. Unfortunately, Harry couldn't stop time. September 1st rolled around again and he found himself on platform 9 ¾. He really saw no point this year in attending said school, Sirius was gone. The only family he had ever known was ripped from him before he could ever really show Sirius how much he cared. It was all thanks to the Dark Lord, again. All Voldemort ever did was torture Harry, steal from him that which he most cared for. First his parents, and now Voldemort had taken Sirius. The whole summer, it was all he could think about. Harry found it most difficult when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had kissed him and sent him off at the station. He'd remembered Sirius coming the year before, well, Snuffles really. He wouldn't ever see Snuffles again.
Sighing despondently, he leaned his head against the window of the train and closed his eyes. The dull roar of the rain on the window started to sing him to sleep. Neither Ron nor Hermione bothered him. They were both extremely quiet, a contrast to all the whispers he knew he'd hear upon reaching Hogwarts. He preferred the silence when it all came down to it... He hated seeing the pity in their eyes. Harry couldn't stand it. Everywhere he looked, they either thought he was a raging lunatic craving attention or they pitied him. Thanks, again, to Voldemort. He sighed once more, and tried to get some rest. His arm was still throbbing faintly.
---
Raine Sullivan watched nervously as all the older students seated themselves idly. Her eyes wandered to the rainy ceiling, the floating candles and the hanging tapestries of the Great Hall. Those green orbs lingered on the Ravenclaw banner, then the Hufflepuff, next to Slytherin and finally came to rest on the red and gold colours of Gryffindor. It had been ages since she'd been within these walls, yet little had changed. Some things had changed, she reminded herself. Her omniscient green eyes flickered down to a young black-haired boy with a peculiar scar on his forehead.
That was him, God did he resemble his father. She smiled softly when he saw her, but he didn't smile back. The boy looked terribly forlorn, not that she could blame him. Those despondent eyes reminded her of Severus. Instead of considering it any further, she turned to her fellow teachers that were now filing in. Minerva smiled kindly at her, as did Albus and Rubeus. She recalled her days spent in Minerva's classroom as a student. Now she would be a teacher, herself.
She took her seat as the Sorting commenced. Raine remembered the long tedious Sortings during her years and dreaded dealing with another. Minerva began to read names, much to the new teacher's dismay. Her green eyes dulled softly, the sound of her old professor's voice lulling her to sleep.
Finally, she could smell the food on the table before her and she opened her eyes fully. Minerva was giving her a reproachful glance from two seats down. Severus sat between them, looking rather unhappy as usual. Raine fought back an involuntary shiver. So much had changed in eighteen years, but so little. He was still quiet, still reserved... But now there was something tainted to him. Her lip curled as the name of Lucius Malfoy came to mind. He had lead him down the malignant pathway of a Death Eater. Raine cringed.
The new teacher well-nigh flinched at the sound of his voice, as not even it was the same. It was stone, showing little to no emotion to someone who was very used to the exact opposite from the pale man to her left. "No, Severus, I'm quite alright." Severus didn't seem to believe her. Had Dumbledore told them all, or did only Severus know? Raine frowned, she hadn't wanted the other teachers knowing of her 'quirks.' She returned to her food, praying that she wouldn't be bothered again.
Several students watched her from time to time but she was pretty sure they all realized why she was here. After what happened to Dolores Umbridge... They must've known a new teacher would be arriving. How Albus had managed to put her in the position instead of someone from the Ministry was beyond her, but she most certainly was in no place to complain. Defense Against the Dark Arts, the cursed position, now belonged to Raine Sullivan, and she intended to keep it.
Tucking her red curls behind her ear, she smiled as Flitwick rambled about what a cut-up she'd been. He'd been her Head of House. She'd been in Ravenclaw for her seven years at Hogwarts and she'd been one of the more rambunctious of the lot. What was to be expected when her friends consisted of James, Remus and Sirius? She sobered, of the three, only Remus was still alive. Lily was gone too, her sister in all but blood. Voldemort had taken them all away, killed so many innocents. Raine could still picture Lily's laughing face and James's charismatic grin. Sirius, vibrant and comic Sirius, now he too was gone.
The only friend from Hogwarts she still knew at all was Severus, and he was not the young boy she had befriended on a fluke. She recalled how James and Sirius had teased him, and how Lily had berated them both for it. That's when she'd noticed those eyes, those two ebon pools watching her and Lily in wonder. When she'd turned and asked if he was alright, he'd looked shocked. Usually, only Lucius Malfoy stood up for him. While Lily berated the two rapscallions, Raine had helped him up and offered him a kind smile. Then, a week or so afterward, they'd been paired up in Potions class and realized their natural talent for the subject. James and Sirius had teased her for befriending the rather lanky and pale-faced boy, but Raine had paid them no heed. Severus had clung to her, like a fruit desperately dreading the fall to the ground after it has ripened. That wasn't this Severus sitting beside her today, Voldemort had kill him too. Staring in to her soup, Raine sighed and stood.
Looking apologetically at Professor Flitwick, Raine excused herself. Several curious eyes followed her out as she headed for her classroom. Thankful to be away from the palpable tension the loomed in the Great Hall, Miss Sullivan sat at her desk. She began to draw up lesson plans. Tomorrow she had classes with Gryffindor and Slytherin year six and then Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw third years. The third years would be no trouble at all, but the sixth years? They'd only had one competent teacher prior to her arrival... Splendid. She took out her books and began to write.
---
Hermione had overheard at Grimwauld Place that the new teacher had been a Ravenclaw at Hogwarts around the time that Sirius and Remus had attended. "I heard Dumbledore saying that the new Defense teacher was a Ravenclaw. I hope she'll be a good teacher."
"A good teacher?" Ron repeated, "As long as she not a bloody lunatic we'll have no cause for complaint!" His voice dripped with sarcasm.
Harry sat in his favorite armchair, staring at the fire. He remembered how Sirius had talked to them through it last year. Everything reminded him of Sirius. Sirius was gone... Harry blinked, returning to the conversation. "She seemed nice enough." His voice hardly had an ounce of interest in it. His friends watched him a moment, their eyes full of concern. His arm still hurt. "Sorry, my mind was just wandering again." He stood and stretched. "I'm beat, I think I'm going to hit the sack." Smiling forcedly at them, he trooped up the stairs to his dormitory. Harry shed his garments and changed in to his pajamas, lying in bed; though he hardly expected to sleep through the night. His heart beat pulsed in his arm, reminding him of the healing wound.
Severus scowled as he noticed the nicely wrapped set of seven vials sitting on his desk. Her awakening serum. Damn her. Snape had said those words seven times in the meager two days she'd been here. What was he supposed to say when she waltzed back in to his life after abandoning him eighteen years ago?
Setting the vials thankfully in his office, he took his dreamless draught. He'd need it tonight. No dreams, or more importantly, no nightmares. He recalled seeing Harry in the Great Hall tonight. It was obvious which arm he'd cut, as the bandages made it disproportionate to his other arm. That poor child, Severus recalled how it felt. How it felt to want to die, to have nothing left. He'd had someone to save him, who would save Harry?
He closed his eyes, it was not his concern. The annoying prat of a Gryffindor could worry about that himself. Severus needed sleep, he had to teach Gryffindors tomorrow. Oh how he loathed the vivacious students. What was there to be happy about? The Dark Lord was calling him all too often, Harry was suicidal and now Katya was back. Damn her. He shook his head in dismay, that made eight times. His eyes closed in exasperation.
End Chapter Two