As he had every five minutes of the last two hours, Goku looked up at the clock yet again. Unlike all of those other times however, it was actually three this time, and he wasn't sure if he liked that fact or not. The exhaustion he usually felt was absent, replaced by anxiety that had his stomach twisted in knots.
How could he of agreed to this? Almost every other thought he'd had during the past week had been about Sanzo, and he'd told himself again and again that it was just a bad idea, and not something he could do. No matter what. Still, he hadn't been expecting to be asked out so soon, if at all, despite the easily tangible attraction between them. His mind had battled with his heart, rationality and irrationality warring within him. In the end, when he had seen the disappointment in the other's expression, it had suddenly been impossible for him to refuse.
And he didn't want to refuse! No matter what the smarter part of his brain told him, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to be with Sanzo. He'd been pulled into a tornado of emotion, struck so suddenly by feelings he'd never had before that it almost seemed impossible.
But it wasn't. They were there, and this was happening, and he wanted it with every part of his soul. Maybe they would get to know each other and end up with nothing in common. Maybe this Sanzo was some kind of freak, despite the raw honesty in his eyes. Maybe this was all a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Even so, Goku couldn't deny the excitement that came with his nervousness. Somehow, he just knew that he'd been meant to meet the other. And no amount of second-guessing himself was going to change that.
A long moment of fussing with his hair, trying in vein to straighten the locks that refused to be tamed, had him late getting back out to the front. Sanzo was waiting by the exit, and Goku felt his cheeks flame up again.
He'd never been the shy type while growing up, but this was a situation he'd never handled before. The blond looked good, although that was not surprising. He'd changed his shirt to a light colored one that set off his eyes. Every hair was in place, shimmering in the spring sun. The pack of books that had been under one arm the other times Goku had seen him were gone now, as Sanzo absently sucked on a cigarette. He looked... incredibly sexy, and it struck Goku that YES, he really was about to go on a date.
"Ah, I didn't know you smoked," he greeted, uncertain what else to say besides a lame 'hi'.
Sanzo pulled away from the wall, snubbing the smoke before slipping his hands into his pockets. For someone who looked so well-together, the other man now looked as nervous as Goku felt as he absently kicked some loose rocks from the parking lot.
"Does that bother you?"
Goku shrugged. "Not really. So, where do you want to go?"
The blonde's lips quirked in a half-grin that made a shiver go up Goku's spine. "I was thinking about that most of the day. I realized all I know about you is your first name, and that you work in a cafe. How about we grab something to eat, so I might be able to learn at least your last name."
Goku grinned and nodded, walking next to the other as they made their way down the street. The nervousness had ebbated somewhat, although he was uncertain what to do. He'd never gone out with someone before. Were they supposed to hold hands? Did Sanzo even want to hold his hand? People would probably look at them funny, and he didn't know how the other felt about that. Sanzo had asked him out first but - okay, really, it was too early to worry about things like that. They were only five minutes into the date!
"So, what are you studying?" he questioned.
"My major is civil law. I want to be a lawyer. But I'm also taking history and a few other classes too. What about you, do you work full time?"
"Ah, yes, I do. I have rent to pay and such, so I kind of skipped out on school and went straight to work. I might take a few courses later, once I've saved up some money."
"What about your parents?"
Goku frowned slightly. "My parents passed away. I've been on my own for a couple of years now," he replied slowly. The subject of his parents had always troubled him. They'd just disappeared one day, and the police hadn't been able to find any clues as to what had happened to them. They'd had such a close relationship, it didn't make sense that they would just leave. But it had been so long, Goku came to accept that they had either ditched him, or had passed away. He preferred to think it was the latter.
"Ah, sorry. It must be difficult."
"Not really, not as some would expect. I kind of had to grow up quickly, but I am almost twenty now. A lot of people are supporting themselves by my age. It's an ordinary life, working for a living."
"That's true. I have my own place too. My parents are fine, but I wanted the independence and to live closer to the school."
"Do you work?"
"Not during University. I wanted to be able to focus on just my studies, so I worked before to save up the money."
No wonder Sanzo had such a mature air around him. Goku wondered if the other thought less of him. He'd actually quit school after elementary, at his parents request. They had taken over educating him, until they'd vanished, but he was still lacking in any real education. He'd always felt that it was obvious when looking at him, with his clean but cheap clothing, his slightly immature speech, the rough edge to his appearance that he'd never been able to get rid of.
Tentatively, Goku looked up at the other, but saw only the casual curiosity in Sanzo's expression that he'd held for most of the conversation. They'd arrived at a restaurant, and the blond was actually holding the door open for him. If the thought had occurred to Sanzo, it wasn't apparent in his manner, and Goku felt grateful.
They were seated, and their orders were taken soon after. Goku usually ate ravenously, but he was careful to make sure he ordered no more than the other. He didn't want to look like a glutton.
Goku fidgeted with his cutlery for a moment, the conversation having lagged after the waitress left. "So, um, do your parents live in Tokyo too?" he finally asked.
Sanzo lit another smoke before replying. "Yes, but on the outer edge of the city. They don't like the heavy traffic and such. My dad works for an airline, and my mom at a hospital nursery."
"They sound nice."
"Yes, I'm lucky to have them. I think my mother had trouble when I first moved out of the house, but they are very supportive."
"So, what do you usually do when you're not at school?"
Sanzo's expression became embarrassed and he gave a slight shrug. "Study, mostly. Sometimes I go for walks or catch a movie. Mostly, I'm busy with school."
Ah, that explained the momentary lags in Sanzo's otherwise calm demeanor. He went out about as much as Goku did, which wasn't a whole lot. It made the brunette feel better, to know they were both starting with about the same experience. He didn't have to worry quite as much about trying to do everything perfectly, although he certainly was going to continue to try!
"So, what made you decide to become a lawyer?" he asked.
Sanzo frowned slightly. "My cousin was once accused of theft and attempted murder. Someone attacked a female driver, then stole her car and money. She was in the hospital for quite a time, but when she was better, she identified my cousin as the attacker. My cousin was totally innocent, he wasn't even in Tokyo at the time, but his defense attorney dropped the ball in a big way. My cousin ended up with eight years in jail. My parents told me about it when I was younger, and it made me angry that such a thing would happen. That was when I decided I would become a defense attorney, to make sure something like that didn't happen again."
"Wow, and you actually stayed with it all of this time," Goku exclaimed, honestly awed by the fact. His own attention span was so short. What would it be liked to make a decision, and actually stick with it for years? Honestly, he didn't know many other people who could either.
Sanzo tried to hide a pleased smile behind his hand, but Goku spotted it before he could. He couldn't help one of his own, glad he'd done something to please the other. Things were going well, and he felt himself relax completely now.
He felt that he'd made the right decision. All of the reservations he'd had seemed to disappear as their conversation went on. It was worth the risk, to know this person. Perhaps it was foolish of him to think so, but during this moment, for the first time in a long time, Goku felt as though everything were perfection.