Miss.Ecofreak: Finally! I've reached the chapter Jak has been waiting for since "The Adventure in Praxis' prison cell". chapter 14.
Jak: jay!
CHAPTER 14
AREN'T WE GONNA KICK UGLY/DADDY/FATTY'S BUTT SOON?
(Power station)
Jak: Vin buddy! We need a favor
Vin: I can't help you with your eco-bill
Jak: oh… to bad (leaves)
Well: hey wait! We need you to turn on the power to the elevator in one of the palaces support towers!
Jak: (comes back) yeah! Right, that's what we need
Vin: ok (pushes some buttons) have fun being killed in the palace
(The palace)
Daxter: correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there supposed to be a mission between here?
Jak: I guess, but MissEcoFreak was to lazy to write it (gets an anvil in his head)
MissEcoFreak: you were saying?
Well: look! (Looks into a window)
(Down under (no, not Australia) (no, not America either) (no damn it! It's not China!)(it's in the palace moron! Not on the South Pole!))
Praxis: I told you, I will have more eco by weeks end
Metalhead leader: but I want it now! (Cries)
Erol: moron HICK! (Gets up cause he has fallen)
Metalhead leader: ARE YOU CALLING ME A MORON YOU MORON? (Hangs up)
Erol: he's a moron! Let me lead an attack on the nest before it's HICK to late! I can take him! HICK (falls over)
Praxis: patience commander, no one (especially not an alcoholic as yourself) have ever penetrated the metalhead nest
Erol: HICK! (Gets up)
Praxis: no, we play idiots. We train them to eat from our hands
Erol: HICK! It's most likely they'll eat the whole hand HICK (falls over)
Praxis: tell Ashelin to up her patrols! I want that tomb found!
Erol: but HICK your HICK daughter HICK has not been HICK agreeHICK!able (gets up)
Praxis: is it just me or do you…
Erol: HICK (trips)
Praxis: …hick more than usual?
(Above)
Jak: Ashelin is Ugly's daughter?
Well: sure, didn't you know that?
Jak: of course I knew! I just wanted to check if you knew! (turns away, feels very offended cause Well…Ehm…eh (who's grown up in Haven City) knows more about the city than himself (who's spent all his two years in Haven in a prison cell))
(Down under (no damn it! Still not Australia))
Praxis: and find that brat! If you've spent half your time looking for that cute little kid as you spent…
Erol: HICK (hits the floor)
Praxis: … getting drunk or flirting with that keiralike girl we would have pinned his Jaklike ass on the wall right now!
Erol: that's not very nice HICK (pretends he is pretending to be falling)
Praxis: no… but we're not very nice either
(Above)
Daxter: (whispers) moron
(Down under (stop asking you idiot!))
Praxis: who said that? (Looks up)
Erol: HICK (touches the ground with his nose)
(Above)
Jak: man that guy's got some very sensitive hearing! (Runs away with Daxter and Well on his shoulders)
Praxis: (sits in a flying thingy) stop right there!
Jak: (stops right there)
Praxis: back for more eco-treatments?
Jak: actually I want refunds! Being altered with dark eco isn't fun
Praxis: well in that case, allow me to put you all out of your suffering
Daxter: I'm not suffering!
Praxis: (shoots) now you are
Daxter: (suffers) oh, I'm suffering!
Arne: welcome all readers to this epic struggle between baron Praxis and Jak
Anne: that's right Arne; this is going to be the battle of all time
Jak: who the fuck are you two?
Arne: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Let me introduce the fighters, in the right corner, our hated ruler in his amazing flying thingy! BARON PRAXIS!
Audience: boooooooo
Jerk: jay
Anne: and in the left corner, the guy who got altered with dark eco for two years, the ottsel whose name has been taken from the title, the leprechaun who thinks he's a flut-flut and who doesn't like dark eco. JAK, DAXTER AND WELL…Ehm…eh
Audience: boooo (this is a very critical audience)
Jerk: jay (he doesn't care as long as the battles are violent)
Well: what do you mean by "thinks he's a flut-flut"? I am a flut-flut! Can't you see my tail feathers? (Shows non-existing tail feathers)
Anne: who cares? And here they go! Jak takes out his blaster and shoots Praxis' flying thingy
Arne: and Praxis gives back the same, he makes it almost impossible for Jak to aim
Anne: but Jak doesn't give up that easily. He takes out his bellowed scatter gun AND HE… missed
Audience: boooo
Anne: Praxis goes to recharge his thingy
Arne: Jak can't shoot as long as Praxis is recharging so he goes to recharge his own blaster at the same time
Anne: now Praxis is done. Jak takes out his blaster and shoots.
Jerk: jay
Anne: that's got to hurt! Praxis needs a new weapon
Arne: he's shooting homing missiles
Anne: homing missiles my ass. Jak runs away like it was nothing. BÆNG!
Miss. Ecofreak: what a weird word. (Giggles)
Anne: you wrote it, I'm just a character. What letter is Æ anyway?
Miss. Ecofreak: go ask the Norwegian readers
Anne: you're Norwegian
Miss. Ecofreak: it's a Norwegian letter
Jak: are we going to kick this guy's ass or what?
Jerk: yeah! Let's get some action here!
Audience: the sooner you continue the sooner we can leave
Miss. Ecofreak: geez, no one asked you to stay
Audience: (leaves)
Arne: finally they're gone. Baron Praxis starts shooting flames
Anne: but Jak shoots his flying thingy and breaks it
Flying thingy: (breaks)
Jerk: jay!
Praxis: eyh! You broke my thingy! You'll pay for that!
Jak: no! Take that as payment for ruining my life Fatty!
Praxis: I'm not fat! Stop teasing me! (runs away crying)
Anne: what a great battle! Congratulations Jak, Daxter and Well…ehm…eh…
Daxter: thanks
Jak: let's go see Torn and get yelled at.
Next Chapter, the main characters get yelled at... sort of...