Chapter Three

Sam adjusted the lamp on his desk and looked at his watch. It was later than he thought and almost everyone else had gone. He knew Toby and Josh were both still here though and wondered if they were waiting for him to go home. Sam took off his glasses and scrubbed at his eyes before returning to the piece of paper in front of him.

Tuesday- 11pm first attack

Wednesday- 10pm second attack

He put a line through second attack and wrote LAST attack. He looked at his watch again. It was quarter to eleven. Sam told himself that if he held out until eleven then that would be the last of whatever it was that had caused his headaches. There would be no pattern. It would be a fluke, just an isolated migraine caused by a stressful trip and too much Toby. He slumped back in his chair and looked up at the clock. The second hand ticked on unaware of its journey towards Sam's deadline.

In his office, Josh sat staring at the clock too. He was waiting as well, he was waiting for Sam to come and ask him to stay again, like he'd asked on the night that Bartlet had won the New Hampshire primary. But Josh had refused then. He wouldn't refuse this time, but as he looked at the clock again he knew Sam wasn't going to ask him, would never ask him to stay again.

Five past eleven. Sam smiled and stood up. He picked up his coat, switched off the lamp and walked into Toby's office. "I'm heading off. I've made the changes you suggested and I'll add the summary tomorrow."

"Good." Toby started to clear his desk. It didn't take long. He had been ready to go for two hours. He watched Sam's office plunged into darkness as the lamp was switched off. Sam cursed and Toby shook his head at the picture of Sam stumbling through his office in the dark. The curse was repeated and the tone of Sam's voice made Toby freeze. "Sam, you okay in there?" There was no reply. Toby walked out of his office and slammed into Sam who was rushing out of his.

"It's happening again! It's not meant to, it's not meant to!" Sam shouted and Toby flinched at the sound of bewilderment and anger.

"Okay, okay, let's…okay…just…" Toby guided Sam back into his office and towards the chair. "Just sit down and see if it goes off. Where are your pills?"

"They don't work, they don't fucking work!" Sam cried and now there was just anger.

Toby ignored Sam's protests and found the pills in his briefcase. He hurriedly poured a glass of water and handed it, and the pills, to Sam. He watched as Sam took them then jumped up from his chair. He paced around his desk.

"Sit down. They won't work if you don't give them a chance to. Try to relax and-"

"Oh shit, please, Toby. I can't…I can't… Please!" Sam fell to the floor and gripped his head, his knuckles whitened as his fingers attempted to squeeze the pain away.

Toby crouched down beside him. Sam was folded over, his head almost touching the floor. Toby didn't know what to do. He wasn't a tactile person and found himself wishing that CJ was here so that she could manifest his concern with physical comfort like she had with Josh, gripping his hand while the paramedics had worked on the bullet wound.

Sam started to moan more loudly and Toby tentatively placed a hand on his back. The action didn't seem to provide any comfort though and Toby wasn't sure that Sam was even aware he was there. The moans became louder and Toby gave up any hope that the pills were working. He moved aside as Sam lurched forwards and then upright. He walked quickly away from Toby and began aimlessly pacing around the small confines of the room. Toby had seen him do this twice now and he knew that there was nothing he could do to help and just had to wait for it to end.

He couldn't watch, though. He couldn't stand there and watch Sam walking around in circles moaning and cursing. He couldn't stand there and watch Sam walking into furniture oblivious to anything but the pain in his head. Toby turned and looked at his office through the window and tried to block the sounds of Sam's agony out. He closed his eyes and willed the attack to end. He was amazed that Sam didn't just pass out from the pain. He spun around as a sudden thud made him think that was exactly what had happened.

Sam had collapsed on the floor but he hadn't passed out. Toby grimaced at the sound of the thuds as Sam relentlessly banged his head against the desk. Toby looked around the room until he found what he was searching for. He pulled a towel out of Sam's gym bag and folded it up. Between thuds he quickly placed the towel where Sam's head was hitting the desk and held it there.

Toby didn't know how long he sat beside Sam but he knew it was long enough for him to have to change hands because his arm had gone dead. He let the towel fall to the floor when Sam finally stilled and helped him sit up against the desk.

Sam laid his head back and closed his eyes. He could feel the moisture running from his eye and wiped at it. "Is it blood?" he asked. Toby told him that it wasn't and pulled a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to Sam. "Is it bleeding?" Sam asked again and when he didn't take the tissue, Toby wiped his face for him. The pain had been so intense that Sam was sure his eye was bleeding and insisted on looking at the tissue to make certain that it wasn't.

"Your eye's swollen," Toby explained. "It's only your right eye. Is that where the pain was?"

Sam nodded slowly. He felt completely drained and even the act of moving his head seemed insurmountable.

Toby reached for the glass of water and passed it to him. He took it in shaking hands and Toby steadied it for him. "I'm going to take you to the hospital."

"No need, better now."

Sam's speech was slurred and Toby decided Sam was going to the ER no matter how much he protested. "That wasn't a question, Sam. I'm just telling you what I'm going to do."

Sam started to turn towards Toby but could only manage to let his head fall back against the desk. "Don't think I can move…feel wasted."

Toby sat silently beside him. He brushed his fingers along the carpet and picked up a stray paper clip. He pulled at the end until he had straightened the thin metal. In the distance a phone rang. The sound of laughter drifted through the door and was followed by two cleaners who passed the office unaware of the two men on the floor inside. "Let's go," Toby said as he stood and pulled Sam to his feet. He held onto him until he was steady but Sam continued to sway and so Toby took a tighter grip of his arm and placed his hand on Sam's back as they made their way out of the West Wing.

The two cleaners parted ways. One started emptying the trash in the Bullpen. The other opened the door to Josh's office and quietly made his way to the trash can. He decided to change the bag outside so he didn't disturb the man sleeping at his desk.

"Here," Toby passed Sam a cup of water and sat down beside the exam table.

"You've got coffee," Sam complained.

"I'm not the one lying on a hospital bed."

"I think coffee is meant to be good for headaches," Sam tried.

"Drink your water and shut up." Toby took a sip out of the steaming mug while Sam looked on jealously.

"I told you I didn't need to come. I feel fine now. This is just like the other night, all the way to the ER and then I feel fine when I get here."

"You feel fine now but you didn't look so fine when you were trying to break the desk with your head!" Toby took another sip and added, "And shut up! It's one o'clock in the morning and I'm drinking bad coffee so stop moaning and wait for the doctor."

Sam stared at Toby but realising he was being ignored he went back to staring at the tiles on the ceiling. By the time the doctor arrived Toby had finished his coffee and Sam was asleep. He introduced himself to Toby, walked to the end of the bed and looked at Sam's chart. "The episode was over before Sam was admitted?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, when the headache was over he seemed out of it so I brought him here. This is the third attack in three days. He saw his doctor earlier today and he said that he thought Sam was suffering from stress. When he had the first attack I took him to the ER and they did a scan and gave him some pills but they don't work."

"Okay." He continued to read the chart, occasionally glancing at Sam. "I'm happy for Sam to go. You can wake him up in a while and I'll have a prescription for him. Do you have the pills he was given before?"

Toby reached into his pocket, glad that he had thought to bring them with him.

"If you can wait, I have a colleague who I think might be interested in seeing Sam."

"Why?" Toby asked bluntly. He was tired, once again they were getting nowhere and he could still taste the bitter coffee from earlier.

"I don't know what's causing Sam's headaches but I'm certain it's not stress. I'm also pretty sure from what the doctor who attended Sam told me that they're not migraines. My colleague, Doctor Hollis, is writing a paper on a condition that seems to fit with Sam's symptoms. He's on duty. If you wake Sam up and he agrees, I'll page him and I'm sure he'll be down straight away."

Toby rubbed at his neck and tried to ease the tension away. He thought about waking Sam and going straight home but the idea that a diagnosis and possible end to Sam's headaches was in sight outweighed any notions of his own needs.

If he found Sam asleep on his couch at work he normally shouted to wake him or pulled the cushion from behind his head. Toby knew, effective as that was, it probably wouldn't go down too well in the ER. He placed his hand on Sam's shoulder with the intention of shaking him. His hand stilled as Sam rolled away and mumbled a protest. Toby stared down at his deputy and grimaced inwardly at the memory of Sam's face contorted with pain and so he took a few moments just to enjoy the look of total relaxation that he wore now.

He replaced his hand and shook Sam gently. "Hey, Sam, time to wake up. Sam!"

Slowly Sam's eyes opened and he stared groggily around the room. Toby watched as he made sense of his surroundings.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Not long. There's a doctor who'd like to see you. He's doing some research and he might be able to help you." Toby waited until Sam had sat upright before handing him a cup of water. "Do you want to see him now or do you want to go?"

Sam looked at his watch. "Well, we might as well make a night of it." He yawned and lay back down.

"Don't go back to sleep," Toby ordered and Sam reluctantly opened his eyes. The sensation of a cold wet cloth in his hand surprised him but not as much as the gruff direction that followed. "Wipe your face or something. I know you feel beat but you need to listen to this guy."

Sam wiped the cloth over his face and neck and handed it back to Toby. "Thanks, Batman."

Toby took the cloth back to the sink. When he turned around the doctor who had visited earlier had entered the room followed by a younger man.

"Hello, Mr Seaborn, Mr Ziegler, I'm Doctor Hollis."

Toby doubted if the man, who seemed to him to be barely out of his teens, would be able to diagnose a cold let alone whatever Sam had. He was about to suggest coming back another time when he glanced at Sam and the look of hope on his face made him keep his suggestion to himself.

"I've read your notes, Mr Seaborn, and I've talked to the doctor who saw you when you were admitted and I think you might be a suitable candidate for some research I am undertaking." Doctor Hollis proceeded to ask Sam a series of questions about the attacks he had suffered so far. Whilst Sam talked, he nodded understandingly. "You've just described a classic cluster attack," Hollis said as he instinctively reached out to help Sam who was raising himself into a sitting position.

"Cluster attack? I don't…what's a cluster attack?" Sam asked trying desperately to concentrate but still unable to fully banish the drowsiness which had cloaked him on waking.

"A cluster headache is a severe attack of headaches that come in groups. They can last from a number of days to weeks or even months. Between clusters, sufferers are free from any pain until the next episode."

Sam felt the bed dip as Toby moved and sat on the end. He knew he should say something, ask some questions, but all he wanted to know was if Doctor Hollis could stop the attacks and he didn't know how to ask that without sounding as desperate as he felt.

"And this research you're doing," Toby said, "you think you've found some sort of treatment or cure?"

"It's nothing new. It's all about the use of oxygen which is already being used with incredible results. There have been few in-depth studies of its use though and I'm working on comparing the results of oxygen with more standard forms of pain relief."

"So what happens next?" Toby asked.

Doctor Hollis answered Toby but looked at Sam. "If it's convenient, I'd like you to meet me tomorrow. We can meet here. I'll give you a direct number you can reach me on to arrange a time."

"It's not really that sim-"

"Tomorrow will be fine," Toby said reaching for the card and thanking the doctor.

When he had gone, Toby stood so he was looking down at Sam, "You take whatever time you need. Make whatever appointments you need to. You don't need to start worrying about that."

Sam nodded. He wanted to comment on Toby's uncharacteristic concern, but he was too exhausted to do anything but allow himself to be helped off the gurney and out of the ER.

There was a bird singing outside the window of Toby's office. Its song was beautiful and relentless. Toby was oblivious to it. He had spent a few restless hours in bed before giving up any notion of sleep and had returned to the White House. He took a long sip of his coffee and entered a new phrase into the search bar on his screen. 'Cluster attacks treatment oxygen'. The list of sites was exhaustive and Toby scrolled past sites that he recognised as already having visited. He added another drug to the list on his pad and scribbled, 'how to use oxygen at home?' on the page he had dedicated to notes about the treatment the doctor had mentioned last night. He put his pencil down and sighed heavily. The cleaners were finishing up and he knew Ginger would be in soon. He walked over to the window to finish his drink. The bird was still singing and Toby closed his eyes and focused on the sound trying not to think about everything he had just read online.

He was still standing at the window when Sam appeared. "Hey, Toby," Sam called from his office before walking into Toby's. "Thanks for last night. I'm sorry you had to see that and then deal with the aftermath."

Toby waved his hand in the air and dismissed Sam's comment. "Listen, did you have a look online for Cluster headaches?"

"No, I mean I was going to but I was just so wasted last night and I overslept and came straight in. I was going to look now."

"Maybe you should wait and see what Doctor Hollis says."

Sam was about to agree when he caught site of the scribbled notes on Toby's desk. He looked up and flashed a nervous smile at Toby. "Why? What am I going to read online that you'd rather I heard from him?"

"Nothing, it's just that web sites can be unreliable and I just think you should hear from a professional before you go self-diagnosing."

Sam sat down on the sofa and pointed to the pad on Toby's desk. "You don't bother noting down unreliable information, Toby. Tell me what you've found out."

"We don't even know that this is what you have," Toby argued.

"Don't even know that who has what?" Josh said as he walked into the office. He looked at Sam staring at Toby and Toby staring at Sam. "What's going on," he asked, more quietly.

Toby eyed the door and Josh shut it before sitting down next to Sam.

"Sam had another attack last night." Toby said. "I took him to the ER and he saw a doctor who-"

"Hold on, what do you mean he had an attack last night? I was here. I was waiting."

"What was I thinking?" Toby exclaimed. "When I was trying to stop Sam from cracking his head open I should have been checking to see if you were still here."

"Yes! Yes that's exactly what you should have done because I need to be there too. I can't help if I'm not there," Josh shouted back matching Toby's equally furious tone.

Sam jumped out of his seat, knocking a pile of newspapers flying in the process. "This is so what I don't need right now." He charged between the pair of them, the slam of his office door making Josh jump. He looked at Toby, all anger dissipating before leaving. Toby went back to the window. A few moments ago it had been quiet, Toby thought. A bird had been singing and then it had been quiet. He walked back to his desk and slammed down the lid of his laptop.