The Never Ending Talk

Disclaimer: I do not own ER

"Luka what are you doing here?"

There she stood. I had spent three months waiting for this moment. I didn't know wither to hug her or yell at her for leaving me.

"Why did you leave?" I asked her. She looked so good, even in her scrubs.

"I'm going to be late for work Luka. I have to go." She pushed her way passed me and into the hallway.

"Sam please wait!" She tuned around and faced me, her mass of curls turning with her.

"Luka I have to go to work. I have a ten year old son and bills to pay."

"So that's it. You run away. You don't tell me why. I spend three months looking you and you tell me you have to go to work. Was it something I did or said?" She stepped towards me, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes whiled she talked.

"Listen I get off work at 5:00. You can stay here and we'll talk then, okay?" I nodded my head yes. Before she could turn to leave I bent down and kissed her like I wanted to for three months. She turned around and hurried to the stairs. I watched her run away knowing she was hiding something. I walked back into the apartment and took off my coat. I threw it down on the table knocking off a medium size white box. I bent down to pick up the box and the gift tag caught my eye. To Mom. From Alex. Happy Birthday. That's right; her birthday was four days ago. I reached to pick up the bottom part of the box and something fell out. I put the box on the table and picked up the lump of cloth by the hanger connected to it. It unfolded into a small blue jean dress with a pink t-shirt. It was something a baby would wear. A baby girl. Sam was pregnant?

I spent the entire day looking at that outfit. Sam pregnant? But we had been careful. Maybe it wasn't mine. Maybe she had met someone else and it was his baby. But by the looks of this place that wasn't true. A picture of us three was on the fridge and one of just us two was sitting in a picture frame on the end table by the couch. I was tempted to get up and look to see if a crib sat in an empty room or hers but I didn't want to invade her privacy. Sam can be the sweetest thing in the world but if you invade her privacy or criticize the way she is raising Alex she can and will chew you out.

The door opened and I heard Alex's voice call out, "Bye Josh!" I watch him walk into the apartment and then he saw me.

"Luka what are you doing here? How did you get? Does mom know you're here?"

"I came to see you guys. Your mom let me and yes she knows I'm here."

"She doesn't get home till 5 do you want to watch some TV till then?"

"Sure as soon as you do your homework." He walked to the kitchen table and as he was setting his backpack down he saw the outfit laid out on the box.

"I guess you know huh?"

"Know what?" I said trying to play cool.

"Know about the baby. I guess you figured out it's a girl."

"Yeah. Alex do you know why your mom didn't tell me?"

"She hasn't said anything to me but my guess is she's afraid you'll leave her to do this alone like my dad did."

"But I would never do that to her."

"Listen you were my friend before you started to date mom and she knows you liked me but she's always going to have those fears."

"First of all what happened to the Alex Taggart I know who would rather play games and I had to fight him to do his homework? Second of all where did you learn to speak like that? And third of all why did you agree to leave?"

"I've had to grow up for mom. You have no idea what it's been like for me. When she first told me she was pregnant and we were leaving I said is it my fault you're a slut and you can't keep your legs together. Why should I have to move? She cried and blamed herself for screwing me up. And that's when I realized I needed to be her for her. Mom was 15 when she had me, now she's 26 and having another baby and she's so worried that she's going to be hurt again that she wouldn't even tell you. Besides I can't have my little sister saying bad words. We have to keep someone innocent in our family."

"You know you're a great kid Alex."

"Thanks." Alex bent his head down and started to do his homework again.

I sat on the couch and starred at Alex while he did his homework. I watched him finish and check his sugar level. The door was unlocked and Sam walked in. She dropped her bag by the door and took off her coat. She kissed Alex's head.

"Hi Alex."

"Mom he knows." He pointed to the outfit that was still laid out across the box. I watched her face turn white and she grabbed the corner of the counter top.

"Alex can you go to your room so we can talk?"

"Sure Mom." He got up and headed through a door to what had to be his room. She turned to face me and bit her bottom lip.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I was afraid you would break our hearts. Steve did that and I don't need for her to have her heart broken. I was afraid you would leave me to pick up the pieces. I'm tired of picking up pieces."

"I would never do that to you, Alex, or her! I've already lost one family; I don't need to lose another! I love you! I love Alex! And I already love this baby and I have seen it or had any part of it!"

"You want to see it? Fine!" She lifted up her top to show her slightly large, round belly. Wow. I reached out at it with my right hand. I had barely touched it with my fingers when I stopped and looked up at her.

"Can I?" She nodded her head and I place my whole hand on it.

"I love you Sam." I need to tell her that. My head is spinning but I do. I want to be her with her, Alex, and our baby. I want to be apart of their lives.