Chapter Four

"Where's Sam?" Leo asked Toby without looking up from the paper he was holding.

"At the hospital," Toby answered and Leo looked up. "He had another headache last night so I took him to the ER and there was a doctor there who thinks he can help Sam so he's gone to see him. He'll be in later."

Leo didn't miss the glare that Josh was aiming at Toby but ignored his seemingly irate Deputy. "I don't get it. Sam had a headache bad enough for you to take him to the hospital but he's okay to come into work later? Was he admitted?

"No," Toby sat down wearily. "Can we just do Staff and then talk about this afterwards?"

Toby mumbled something about Cluster headaches and Leo was none the wiser. "We'll force him to take some time off," Leo stated. "Whatever the doc prescribes I'm sure he'll recommend some time away from the West Wing. He just needs the right pills and some rest."

"I don't think-" Toby started but he didn't finish his sentence. He looked at Leo who was waiting for him to continue. "I don't think making Sam take time off is as easy as it sounds," he finished, having decided not to voice his fears that Sam's condition would not be solved by either pills or rest.

CJ was the first to see Sam when he returned from the hospital. Events in the West Wing had, as usual, forced the staffers to push their private concerns aside and so when she saw Sam walking towards his office her only thought was that she could finally get someone to explain an item for her briefing to her. "Hey, Sam, the amazing, walking, encyclopaedia man." She followed him into his office and leant against the doorjamb. "I've got a briefing in like five minutes and I'm having a few problems understanding how-"

"CJ, can you ask Toby? I've got this…I need to get this done. I've been out all morning so I'm really behind."

"Oh my God, the doctor, how did it go? What did he say?" CJ crossed the room and stood in front of Sam's desk.

"He gave me some pills and he wants me to keep a journal and then see me again in a few weeks." Sam busied himself with the messages on his desk and CJ didn't miss the fact that he hadn't looked at her once.

"Okay, but when the briefing's done I'm coming back here and taking you for a coffee and you can tell me all about it."

"There's nothing to tell!" Sam said harshly. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…there's nothing to tell, CJ. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

CJ stared at him. "You're lying and you wanna know how I know?"

Sam couldn't help but smile. "How do you know?"

"Because, there's a little vein in your neck that throbs when you lie."

"There really isn't," Sam said. "Go do your briefing."

CJ left after telling Sam to be ready for their date. Sam knew he had to talk to Toby but was glad that CJ had got there first. He went to the men's room and splashed cold water on his face, ran his fingers through his hair then studied his neck for throbbing veins in the mirror.

"Josh!" Ginger had already asked Josh to move off her desk once. "You're sitting on Toby's diary."

Josh jumped off the desk and perched on its edge instead. "How long have they been in there?"

"Three hours," Ginger replied.

"Really!"

"Feels like it," Ginger mumbled as she picked up her notes and went to work at Bonnie's desk.

"Josh!" He drew his gaze away from Toby's window. Donna was standing, hands on hips, staring at him. "You're meant to be phoning Senator Adams."

"I was just waiting to see Toby then Ginger started asking me about…stuff."

Donna didn't move. Her expression didn't change. Josh reluctantly walked away from the communications Bullpen and back to his office. Leaving Ginger to sigh loudly and move back to her desk.

Sam had been in Toby's office for forty minutes. He had told him what the doctor had said and looked at the sites Toby had found online. He had glanced up a few times and seen Josh waiting impatiently outside but he couldn't face him, it was enough dealing with Toby.

"So, what happens now? You just wait and see how many more you have?"

"Pretty much- he said that they sound like cluster headaches but as I've only had three he can't be certain. The symptoms are similar to migraines so…"

"So?"

"So I suppose it could be possible that I've just had three bad migraines. He went through a list of cluster symptoms though and all the ones that are different to migraines, I had." Sam stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. It was a protective gesture that Toby had seem Sam adopt before.

"Sit down. I'll get us something to eat."

"I'm not sick, Toby."

"No, but you look a little…you know, so I'll go and get us something and you sit there and finish my paragraph."

"Okay, well, that sounds more like it."

Sam spent the rest of the afternoon in Toby's office. Since returning to his, Josh had been holed up dealing with the aftermath of his phone call to Senator Adams."

Sam rewrote Toby's paragraph which necessitated rewriting much of the middle section of the speech. He worked in silence, his shoeless feet on the coffee table, Toby sat at his desk equally engrossed in his work. Both men were surprised when they finally stopped and realised it was gone five. As the afternoon drew into evening, all Sam could think about was the approaching hour of eleven and what it may bring.

Evidently Toby was thinking the same thing. "What time do you think you're heading off tonight?"

Sam continued to type as he answered. "Why?" Toby didn't answer and so Sam stopped typing and looked up at him. "I was thinking I'd stay until this was done."

"Are you planning on spending the night here?"

"I'm almost there. It won't take that long, I only need to add-"

"Do you want to stay at my place?"

The question was so unexpected that Sam couldn't hide his surprise. His reply surprised him even more. "Yes, I do, if that's okay?"

Toby nodded. If he was feeling scared at the thought of another attack, he could only imagine what Sam was feeling. "Don't snore, don't touch any of my things and if you so much as look at my newspaper before me there'll be repercussions."

Sam smiled and went back to his typing. He hated the thought of anyone seeing him when he was having an attack but couldn't bear the thought of being alone after one. They worked on in silence Sam managing to stop looking at the clock and concentrate on the words on the screen.

"Senator Adams thinks I have an over inflated notion of my own importance." Josh appeared in the doorway. "He thinks I'm a jackass as well. He didn't say that but that was the impression I got, reading between the lines."

"Really?" Sam asked. "Because normally you miss those sorts of nuances of conversation."

"I've been practising. I've been using Donna. I work on the theory that she thinks I'm a jackass seventy percent of the time so if I study her tone and mannerisms I should be able to pick up on it in other people."

"How's it working out so far?"

Josh slumped onto the sofa next to Sam. "I really do seem to annoy people even when I'm not trying to. It's like this…gift."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's a rare and beautiful thing." He finished what he was working on and closed his laptop. "I'm going to stay at Toby's tonight." He caught Josh's look of surprise. "I just don't want to be alone and he offered so I-"

"You don't have to be alone. You could stay with me until you're better or I could stay at yours for a while."

"I asked you to stay with me once before, Josh, and you chose…" Sam rested his head against the sofa and sighed. "You chose not to."

"This has nothing to do with that. I'm just…let me just…"

Sam never found out what Josh wanted him to do as Toby chose that moment to enter the office carrying Sam's coat and briefcase. "We're going home. Well, I'm going home, you're going to my home, with the things you can't touch and newspapers you can't read."

Sam ducked his head, smiled and took his coat from Toby. He glanced at Josh, "Buy me lunch tomorrow and you can finish your sentence then."

Josh smiled and nodded, unable to hide the relief he felt at Sam's offer. "If I buy you dessert can I have another sentence?"

Sam laughed gently and hurried after Toby.

Toby opened his eyes and listened. A sound had woken him but he was still muddled from sleep and tried to remember why hearing a sound in his house wasn't a problem. Eventually it came to him. Sam was staying. He lay back down and pulled the comforter up. Sam! Toby sat bolt upright as he remembered why Sam was staying. He jumped out of the bed, bashing his knee on the bedside table in the process. Cursing, he hobbled around the bed and towards the spare room. He could tell without switching on the light that the bed was empty. He called Sam's name and tried the bathroom. Heading downstairs he continued to call, his tone becoming more urgent. Sam wasn't in the kitchen or the living room. Toby stood by the sofa and caught his breath. He glanced at the door and realising Sam hadn't left the house he moved quickly towards the basement stairs. The white of Sam's T-shirt was clearly visible in the far corner of the room. Toby hurried down towards him.

Sam was huddled in a ball. His arms wrapped tightly around his waist and his knees tucked almost to his chin. His eyes were closed but Toby could tell by his rapid breaths that he wasn't asleep. He reached out to touch Sam's shoulder but on feeling Toby's hand, Sam batted it away and moved further towards the wall.

"I didn't hear you, Sam. I'm sorry, I didn't know." Toby reached out again and this time Sam let him place his hands under his arms. "Let's get you up. There you go, just take your time."

Sam rubbed at his face and then cupped his running eye with his hand. His eyes were closed again and Toby knew that if he didn't get him to move now he would be dragging a semi-conscious Sam up the stairs by himself. "I need you to stand up, think you can do that?" Sam nodded and mumbled something but Toby couldn't make out the words. "Just to the sofa, Sam, can you get to the sofa?"

Sam nodded again and placed his hand on the wall to help push himself up. He felt Toby's hands on him, one on his arm and the other around his waist. He tried to relish the feeling of being free from pain but all he could feel was bone-weary and confused. He couldn't work out why Toby was with him and although he knew he wasn't home, he couldn't remember exactly where he was. He felt the warmth increase as he made his way slowly up the stairs until he reached the top and was bathed in light from the living room. "Don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Toby asked as he steered the increasingly drowsy man towards the sofa.

"Where," Sam said, "where I am."

"You're at my place, remember?" Feeling a rush of fear, Toby shook Sam slightly and raised his voice. "Remember, Sam?"

"Yeah, sure, I remember." Sam lay down and drifted off immediately. Toby pulled down the throw from the back of the sofa and covered him.

He went back to bed but sleep wouldn't come and so he grabbed a book from his bedside table and returned to the living room. He read for a while and then placed the book down and watched Sam sleep. He wondered if he should wake him and check that he really did know where he was. He read a few more pages before realising that he was never going to relax until he was sure Sam was okay. It took him a while to wake Sam and a while longer for him to ascertain that Sam knew where he was. Satisfied that he could leave him to sleep, Toby returned to his bed and eventually drifted off thirty minutes before the alarm woke him.

Toby had showered, dressed and had breakfast before Sam showed any signs of life. By the time Sam sat up from his curled up position on the sofa, Toby was ready to leave for work. "The coffee's on, there's bread on the side and orange juice in the fridge," he said as he walked over to the sofa. He smiled slightly as he watched Sam trying to disentangle himself from the throw. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, give me five minutes and I'll be ready."

Toby decided to let Sam stand up before answering. Sure enough, he wavered and collapsed back onto the sofa. "Coffee's still hot. I'll get you a cup. Get back into bed and I'll see you later if you feel okay."

Sam conceded defeat, miserably pulled the throw around his shoulders and slowly made his way into the bedroom. He heard footsteps padding across the room and smelt the coffee as the sound of a tray being placed down made him open his eyes. "Thanks, Toby."

Toby shrugged before leaving the room. When Sam heard the front door close he sat up and sipped at the coffee. There were two headache pills on the tray and Sam smiled at Toby's thoughtfulness then drifted back to sleep longing for the days when his headaches could be relieved with a couple of pills.

"Then don't come in," Toby said to Sam for the third time during their phone conversation. Sam had phoned Toby after lunch and Toby had spent the last five minutes listening to Sam's indecision about returning to work.

"I could come in and then crash on the sofa if I don't feel any better," Sam suggested.

"Then come in," Toby said as he took a bite from a sandwich and turned the page of the Washington Post.

"Wait, was that a …have you got me on speaker phone?"

Toby wasn't expecting Sam to include him in the conversation for a while and so had taken a large bite from his sandwich which he tried to swallow before mumbling 'no'.

"Are you even listening to me? I'm asking you if you think I should come into work today."

"No you're not! You're sitting there having some sort of weird conversation with yourself about whether you should come in today. The fact that you're doing that should tell you that it would probably be best for you to just go back to bed."

"So you don't think I should come in?"

"Oh for the love of…" Toby snatched at the phone and brought it to his ear. "Sam, stay there, come in, it's all the same to me but just make your mind up! For what it's worth, I'd be a lot happier knowing you were getting some sleep."

"There you go again with the concern thing. It's freaking me out, Toby. Making me coffee, telling me to get some sleep, what happened to my gruff and uncaring boss?"

"He's still here; would you like me to get him?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, stop clogging my phone line, go to bed and don't call me again unless you're making sense!"

"That's more like it," Sam replied. He said goodbye to his boss and took his advice and went back to bed. He was still asleep when Toby got home four hours later.