Mamoru's Know It All Time!
A/N: Ever wanted to know the secrets of our favorite senshi show? Mamoru is here to show you, and so is his inferiority complex! His complex includes but is not limited to: Kakeru Oozaru, Alan, Fiore, Prince Diamond, King Endymion (the future him! 0) and others. Have fun watching Mamoru squirm and try to answer your questions!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon! I only own Mamo-chan's inferiority complex! I also do not own anything else that might be trademarked or something I randomly throw in here….SOCKS!!!
Question #1: Why do you wear glasses when you turn into Tuxedo Mask?
Mamo-Chan's Answer: Shh! (nervous look) Don't say my alter ego! I must keep myself shrouded in mystery!! And they aren't dorky glasses like AMI'S, they are GOGGLES!! For flight!
Reply: But you don't fly.
Mamo-Chan's Reply: No! But if you knock the wind out of me, I glide! (anynonymus guy knocks the wind out of him) Hehee! Masochism is fun and healthy!
Reply: Sicko.
Mamo-Chan's Reply: Shut up! I'm the STAR, aren't I?? And I'm the HOTTEST bishounen of all Sailor Moon! Ain't I the hottest!?
Authoress' Reply: No. Kakeru is.
Mamo-Chan: (death glare) Oh really? (evil smirk) Then try facing my EVIL Doom and Gloom Girls!
Authoress' and Other Reply: The Doom and Gloom Girls are dead, Mamoru….(sweatdrops as Mamoru starts swinging the chair around crazily)
Mamo-Chan's EVIL Reply: MuHahahahahahahaha!! Watch and scream in pain as I swing my chair of DOOM AND GLOOM!! Scream in pain, I say!
All Except Mamoru: (run away to get a soda, and somehow the authoress comes back with Kakeru.)
Question #2: So, where EXACTLY does Kakeru live?
Kakeru: Yeah, I would really like to know…seriously, I have forgotten. Hime hit me too hard. (everyone sweatdrops)
Authoress: Kakeru is better than you, Mamo-no-baka! Weh . ! NE-BE!! (sticks out tongue)
Mamo-Chan's Reply: He is not! Shut up or I'll…I'll…turn into Michael Jackson! Anyway, Kakeru is dirt-poor even though he has many college degrees and is a brilliant scientist. Kakeru lives in the astronomy tower, and there are cracks in the wall, which makes me wonder why he doesn't live with Hime…how do I know this? (perverted laugh) For I am not only Tuxedo Mask, but The Peeping Tom!!!
Kakeru: …I'm speechless. I have nothing to say. Absolutely nothing at all to say. I have so much of nothing to say that it is spooky…I can't believe I'm not saying anything. I have nothing to say whatsoever. Nothing at all. Can you believe that? I, Kakeru Oozaru, Neko-Neko Faust VIII's Bishounen Extroardinaire, has nothing at all to say? Isn't that crazy? I have absolutely NOTHING to say. Nothing at all! That's just wrong. I have NOTHING to say!!! I want something to say! Give me something to say.
Authoress: Okay…say….
Kakeru: JSJHFSDHGFREUI
Authoress: (claps) Oh my dear Kakeru, you're so talented!
Mamo-Chan: I'm talented-er!! (not a word! Baka!) Watch: JSJHFSDHGFREUI
Authoress: Nein! I won't stand for it! You forgot the exclaimation point at the end! You lose, poser!
Mamo-Chan: But Kakeru didn't have one either!
Authoress: All's fair with eyeballs and toothballs and ducks, but that still doesn't make you a helpful candycane, mister!! Go to your room!
Mamo-Chan: (singing) Just you wait, Henry Higgins! Just you wait!
Kakeru: Shut up. I'm making coffee.
Mamo-Chan: I'll turn into Michael Jackson, I really will!
Kakeru: (walks away, drinking a 600-gallon pot of coffee)
All: (stand in horror waiting for the transformation)
Question #3: Why does Usagi never die?
Mamo-Chan: Because the one who dies in her place is actually Soapy the Bum from O. Henry's Full House, in episode 5, called The Cop and the Anthem! Miss Marilyn Monroe plays a sexy streetwalker and makes the most of her footage. We can look forward to seeing more of her in the future.
Authoress: Did he just become a 50s movie review?
Others: …Yeah…we think so….
Mamo-Chan: In Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, as usual Miss Monroe looks as if she'd glow in the dark, playing the the baby-faced blonde whose eyes open wide for diamonds and close for kisses, she is amusing as well as alluring.
All Except Mamo-Chan: (wince) And…anything else?
Mamo-Chan: A Ticket To Tomahawk, a mediocre film upgraded by a superb cast, showcases 20th Century Fox's new starlet Marilyn Monroe. Miss Monroe is pretty, and we enjoyed her warbling, she shows promise.
Authoress: Please no…no more! No more!!….PUDDING! (you know, Pudding from Tokyo Mew Mew?)
Mamo-Chan: Unfortunately, The Girl In Pink Tights, did not succeed. One part Nunally Johnson, one part Sheree North, and one part Betty Grable, would not, and could not ever add up to Miss Monroe.
Authoress: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! (concusses Mamo-Chan with a mallet.)
Question #4: How tall is Queen Beryl?
Authoress: She's a giantess! As if she was Mme. Thenardier from Les Miserables! Ahh! The Thenardiess!! Jean Valjean, help us!
Mamo-Chan: For one, in Japanese we don't make a "v" sound, so Jean's name would be Jean BALjean!!! HAHAAHA!
Jean: (suddenly appears) You wish to die?
Javert: (suddenly appears) Mu-haha! I've finally found you, PUDDING!
Pudding: Noo! I didn't steal that bread! He did it! (points to Jean)
(Jean, Javert, and Pudding get into a fight and are booted off of the stage.)
Mamo-Chan: Well, I think that Queen Beryl is a delicate flower…I mean, come on, she's only 1483429057894369765983206782164897328493274897148670487967432-84903-284-9382-49382409832904743857459867845678957689769874098675986754986705987659867954679850467985768957698045698745096709860954760986459860567085976049856754986789507654896798576895768904768907403985740578947950487598734895074896704695467-97-0657895486907439056473589672649730756048609548609 miles tall. That isn't very tall…she is akin to the beautiful, mysterious geisha….
Authoress: Usagi-san? Would you like to do the honors this time?
Usagi: Oh, wowee! Die Mamo-jo!
Mamo-Chan: Mamo-jo!? Miss Mamoru!?
Authoress: Why does the name Mamoru always remind me of fishes?
Mamo-Jo: Look, I'm not Ranma ½, I'm Mamoru!! I'm not a "miss!" I'm a "he!" Not like Kamatari from Kenshin! I'm no crossdresser!
Authoress: Or are you?? (hint hint)
Usagi: Die already! (attacking Mamo-Jo with a sticker)
Authoress: Why are you doing that?
Usagi: I wanna be like on Cardcaptors! I wanna make the sticker come to life!
Mamo-Jo: Ahh! It's killing me!!!
Colin Craven: (suddenly appears) I learned how to defeat stickers from the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio. Now I can kick paper's buttocks anytime!
Mary: (suddenly appears) My hero!
Sakura: Shield me from Tomoyo!
Tomoyo: Sakura-Dono! Let me make a fanclub for yooouuu!!
Authoress: See Chapter the 2ND for more insanity!!!
To Be Continued…
A/N: I know it is rather stupid, but I got bored….hehe! Tell me if you like it, and remember: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all! Ja Ne!
To Be Continued…