Random silliness ensues. Don't say I didn't warn you ^^ Perhaps you just need a certain sort of humour for this to appeal to you… thanks to my co-writer (sort of) And excuse the time of year I posted this (half a year early or late, depending…) but I got the idea in June… pah… just lazy. Go Hayabusa's birthday all the way… it means that mine was a week before :P

Oh, judging by the 'certain sense of humour'… expect very OOC. ^^

-Your presents will be missed-

Approximately ten people were sitting in comfortable plush chairs. Nine of the ten were glaring at the tenth person. All ten were talking about the missing eleventh person. None of them were in overly good moods, just to top it off.

"Why now?" A young blonde with extravagant clothes and equally extravagant cleavage moaned, American accent prominent. "Of all times to pick a reunion, you had to pick a month when it was someone's birthday? And of all the birthdays, you didn't pick mine?"

"And of all the birthdays, you had to pick someone who nobody knows what to get them?" A Chinese beauty spoke up from the back corner. "Why June?"

"Why not?" The French woman, who was the tenth person, shrugged. "It's summer. The surf's up, the weather's great…"

"Yeah, and Hayabusa's birthday is in three days!" Hayate exclaimed, also from the back corner. "Which means we have to get him something, which means we need to have an idea of what to give him! Why couldn't you have had this in July?"

"Or December?" came the drawl of Tina.

Helena held up an elegant, manicured hand. "Stop complaining just because it isn't your month. Besides, it's not like you don't get presents, anyway,"

"But…" Kasumi started from the corner furthest away from her brother and half-sister, "You picked Hayabusa's month! Of all the people… why didn't you pick someone harder, like Gen-Fu, or the Tengu? Maybe even hell itself?"

"Gen-Fu would be easy," Leifang interrupted. "Get him some aspirin or a mah-jongg set and he'd be happy forever. Or at least until he carks it,"

There was silence for a moment, while everybody present thought hard of what to get the super ninja.

"Get him a piece of coal," Jann-Lee said bitterly.

"Can't. I already gave him that for Christmas," Hayate said.

"Get him nothing," Zack suggested.

"Can't. I gave him that for Christmas," Kasumi said, looking sheepish.

"An Xbox?" Tina suggested.

"No way. You think anyone stuck in the eighteenth century would know how to use one of those?" Ayane made a face. "But you can give me one for my birthday…"

"He's not stuck in the eighteenth century. I saw him just before," Hitomi said, confused.

"Get him a guillotine," Christie suggested.

Everyone turned to her, disgust evident in their expressions.

"Fine…" Christie muttered, before her expression brightened up again. "Get him a used guillotine!"

Silence for a moment. Everyone's glares went from Helena to Christie.

"Umm… what about something ninja-ish?" Leifang asked, looking clueless.

"Ninja-ish?" the ninjas repeated, looking equally clueless.

"Like… like…" Leifang waved her hands around, trying to articulate her point. "Like… like a… umm… sword?" she finished, looking sheepish.

"No way. You know hard those things are to get through Customs?" Hayate shook his head sadly. "I tried,"

"Oh. Darn…"

Silence again, before the door opened and the person in previous question stepped in.

"What's the congregation for?" the super ninja asked, looking around at everybody's expressions, taking in everything from Tina's breasts to everyone glaring at Christie. "Am I missing something?"

"Nothing other then a few hundred brain cells," Hayate said, smiling sweetly.

"Oh," Ryu blinked. "That's okay then,"

"Go away," Zack instructed. "We're talking about you,"

"Oh," Ryu repeated, looking flabbergasted. "Okay,"

The door shut, and everybody heaved a sigh of relief.

"Do you think he heard anything?" Hitomi asked anxiously.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Maybe we should have invited Gen-Fu," Helena mused aloud. "Perhaps he'd have a better idea then we do,"

"Nah," Tina shook her head. "He'd say 'mah-jongg' or something,"

More silence.

"Hayate?" Ayane asked. "You're his friend, what do you think he wants?"

Everyone turned to Hayate.

"Our friendship doesn't entail gifts," Hayate said hastily.

"Then what the heck does it entail?" Zack asked, looking suspicious.

Hayate shrugged. "Not gifts,"

"Great," Christie muttered. "We've gotten nowhere fast,"

"Better then getting nowhere slow," Kasumi added helpfully.

"This is boring," Jann-Lee complained.

"My boobs are falling out," Tina complained.

"Get him in here and ask him what he wants!" Helena exclaimed in frustration. There were a few exchanged glances, before Hitomi stood up.

"I'll get him,"

"Okay. Ryu. WHAT-do-you-WANT-for-your-BIRTHDAY?" Hayate asked, being careful to enunciate every word clearly enough for even the most idiotic idiot to comprehend.

There was a pause.

"I don't know," The super ninja looked confused. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Any ideas?" Kasumi asked desperately.

"What about you tell me what you want and it might give me some ideas," Ryu said, looking bemused. Desperate enough to try anything, they agreed.

"I want a new silk dress," Leifang said. "And maybe a nice bag to go with it. What about you, Helena?"

"Perhaps some new champagne flutes. My other ones got broken. And some champagne to put in them." she turned to Zack.

"TV reception for my alien suit!" he exclaimed. Everyone blinked.

"I want…" Christie started.

"Next," Helena interrupted hastily.

Christie scowled as Ayane spoke.

"I wouldn't mind some more make-up,"

"I would love some more fortune telling cards. Because with the ones I have now, all they tell me is that something flat with a weird picture on it is in my future," Kasumi said sadly. "Oh, and perhaps some strawberry millefeuille too,"

"I need a new Xbox game," Tina said. "Ninja Gaiden's looking good,"

"I just bet it is," Leifang muttered under her breath. "And they say we dress up skanky,"

"Oh, and some new cossies," the American added. "You can never have too many of them,"

"Yeah, I would go with that," Hitomi mused. "And perhaps a new cooking book as well,"

There was a pause as everyone turned to Jann-Lee.

"I want to get out of here," he muttered.

"You'll be out of here before your birthday, thank god," Zack responded. "Otherwise we'd have heaps more birthdays to do,"

Hayate looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't mind a new sword holster, actually," the Mugen-Tenshin clan leader decided. "You can never have too many sword holsters,"

"See?" Tina turned to Hitomi. "That's where girls differ from guys. We want gifts that are things to show our compensations. Guys want gifts that compensate for their things,"

Zack sniggered. Hayate looked confused.

"So…" Helena jumped in quickly , looking at Ryu. "Those helped you at all?"

"Yeah, maybe you like the idea of Leifang's dress?" Jann-Lee added spitefully.

"No. I don't like silk," Ryu shook his head seriously. "No offence, Leifang," he added hastily.

"Don't tell me you like cotton!" Tina exclaimed, eyes wide.

Ryu sighed, a trace of brain coming into his statements for the first time that day. "You don't have to get me anything, you know,"

"We've got gifts for everyone else so far, so we have to get something for you too," Hitomi declared. Everyone stopped glaring at Christie and started glaring at her. "What?" the German girl asked, eyes wide and innocent.

"Besides… if you loved me you'd know what I want!" Ryu said determinedly.

Everyone looked at each other.

"Uh, a light bulb?" Zack asked.

"A tissue box?"

"A coffee cup?"

"A Playstation 2?"

"A fluffy toy?"

"A child?"

Everyone stared incredulously at Tina, who shrugged.

"He might,"

"Never mind," Ryu shook his head again before walking out of the room.

There was silence, while everybody exchanged glances and whispered conversations for a few minutes, before Hayate declared something to the room.

"I have decided that…"

Everyone held their breath. Could it finally be a decision?

"…that I need to go to the loo. Later," With that, Hayate stood up and left.