AN: Finals is happening this week, so there won't be updates until it's over. This chapter was written in bits and pieces over the course of a week, whenever I was too frustrated to study. Also, I went and revised the ending of the last chapter, so if you haven't done so already, I would suggest reading it. Thanks for all who are still out there! Your reviews make me smile. On with the show!

Chapter 14 – Deceptive Cadence

Think back... to the beginning.

He lay on his back staring up at the dark ceiling, seeing illusions of movement. His mind was a blank from when he left the bar until he woke up in Tifa's room. He knew it was her room from the picture she kept on her nightstand; it was all of them, during the last reunion.

Her beaming face was near the center, between him and Vincent. Yuffie had poked her head in from behind them, giving Cloud and Tifa bunny ears with her fingers. Barret stood in the back, holding Marlene on his massive shoulders. Cid stood on the other side of Vincent, with Shera standing in the front.

He'd seen that picture before, but for some odd reason he'd stared at it earlier, when the last rays of sunlight came in through the window. Now, though, it was dark, too dark to do anything other than sleep or think.

The beginning of it all. When you first felt it, that splinter in your mind.

He couldn't think of it. It was strange, and uncomfortably natural for his consciousness to be so fractured. This was his sanity.

Sanity?

Even he couldn't help a dark chuckle at that. Such a ill-fitting term for his usual state of mind. And now, he knew something strange, if only he could wrap his mind around it...

There was a small knock on the door.

He bolted up, making himself a little dizzy in the process. He knew that the door was locked, so whoever it was wouldn't be able to get in. But as if to prove him wrong, a tiny sliver of light broke through the darkness. He shielded his eyes as it expanded, revealing a petite silhouette.

"Thief, remember?" she said, twirling a small and thin object around her finger, "Tifa can't lock anything away from me." She smiled at him humorlessly, however.

"Why are you here, Yuffie?" he groaned, his eyes getting a rest as she closed the door again. She scoffed.

"You sure are friendly," she replied, plopping down somewhere on the bed, unsettling his position slightly, "After all I've done for ya. Well, that's some people's gratitude for ya..." He did not respond. She frowned.

"Do you know why I'm here?" she said finally, her usual frisky tone abandoned. He stared.

I don't think I'll ever understand you...

"Why?" he asked, startling her with the sound of his voice. She quickly composed herself and continued.

"Because I know you don't want to talk to them," she continued, "Not while you're feeling all betrayed and shit." He smirked at her language, which always managed to sneak in no matter how serious she tried to be.

"Betrayed? I don't feel..." he whispered, looking down at the bed covers, "...Anything. I'm a void, Yuff." She sniffed.

"Bullshit," she replied, glaring at him, "I won't believe that for a second." He looked up at her, startled

"I saw that look on your face. It couldn't be anything but emotion," she declared, leaning over to prop herself on an elbow. He stared at the wall.

"I mean, Tifa's great and all, but she sure didn't do right by you," she continued, a spice of sage old wisdom coloring her voice, "Avoiding the issue. You and her... you've got that in spades." He sighed.

When did you suddenly grow up?

"You're right," he breathed out, "But you're missing an important part." He felt, rather than saw the curious look that spread across her face.

"Oh?"

"Aeris," he whispered, like a sacred rune. He heard her exhalation.

"So Cait was right," she whispered back, "You were meant-"

"No," he said with a soft forcefulness, "Don't make the same mistake Tifa did." She sat upright again peering at him closely.

"Aeris was and always will be Zack's girl," he continued, "I couldn't do that to him. Hell, I miss her more than anything, but..."

"We all loved her," Yuffie interrupted, "I understand."

Understand? Do you, really?

"That's why I was angry with Tifa," he resumed, "The day that Tiveph killed me. That's what the fight was about. She thought that I was in love with Aeris. And the part of me that was Zack did. But..." He put his hands on his head. Suddenly it was throbbing, and he felt dizzy.

"Cloud? Cloud!"

Stop acting so human..

"Can you hear me?"

She lied to you.

"This isn't funny!"

Don't you remember that?

The feel of the blade in your hand.

What does the hero do when the threat is gone?

There are no villains anymore.

Let's shake things up.

"Cloud! Wake up!"

Elsewhere...

It was freezing outside, and he pulled his cloak tighter around himself. He walked with no sense of urgency, he was far past that now. He cursed under his breath.

I thought I had left that hasty gut instinct behind. Foolishness.

A particularly strong gust threatened to loose his grip, but he held fast. Something icily moist touched his face, and he frowned as more soon followed. Winter was finally descending. The sky soon filled with the feathers and skirts of snowflakes, and for a moment he was blinded by them. He blinked them away, as he finally saw a clear opening.

He would have recognized that form anywhere.

She was huddled from the cold, a bundle of sweater that didn't block the wind, and dark hair that flew around violently in every gust. He fought an impulsive tick that told him to run to her, to throw his cape around her and to hold her. Instead another impulse won out.

"You shouldn't sit out in the cold like that," he said, giving her cause to whip around and face him, her teeth chattering., "You'll freeze." She laid her head on her knees, and peered up at him like a child. He grinned underneath his cape.

"Why do you keep following me?" she asked innocently, betrayed by the tired and aged look of her expression. He shrugged, and settled down next to her.

"I could ask the same of you," he answered, fiddling with the buckles of his cloak. She raised up her hand to stop him.

"You'll freeze too, you know," she said, lifting her head from her knees, "Stubborn."

So I'm stubborn? Well, I'll just have to keep that up then.

He undid the last buckle and tossed the cloak at her. She was too cold to argue anymore and huddled up in it.

"Thank you," she mumbled, half her face obscured by red fabric, "...but why?"

Why? Why do I bother? Because you make me feel human. Because I would live for you.

"Why what?" he answered, pulling his arms around himself tightly. Without his cloak he felt the cold keenly, although it never really bothered him. He wasn't afraid of freezing. It was the sun that he hated, with its searing heat.

"Why are you hiding something from me?" she whispered the urgency in her voice, "And why can't I remember?" She buried herself deeper into his cloak, only her eyes and the top of her head were visible.

So you don't remember then. Surrender still has a hold on you. It was only temporary, my intervention. I still stand as nothing.

"Why? Because you're don't need anymore worry," he said gruffly, hunching his shoulders, "Your memory is linked with Surrender still. Perhaps because you won't give up on Cloud." Her eyes watered and he could imagine her scowl underneath the fabric.

"B-but I don't love him," she whimpered, a small and muffled sound. He raised an eyebrow at her.

But is that true? Can we ever get over that first damaging love?

"You may say that," he answered, his posture still defensive, "But do you believe that?"

"Do you love Lucrecia still?" she asked, blinking the moisture in her eyes away.

Do I? Ideally, yes. But in reality? That would be suicide. I'm too attached to life. You would be proud.

"Does it matter?" he replied, turning his face upwards, into the falling snow. He heard her sniffle a little. Then he felt a warm hand on his chin.

Why do you always feel so warm?

"Yes it does," she replied, her face uncovered, as she pulled on his chin to make him face her, "I won't play second to a memory." He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Neither will I," he whispered before he had the chance to think.

"I think I remember now," she continued, "Just snippets really. They are somewhere in your face. I can see that." He felt his face tugging at him to smile, to speak, to do something. He smirked.

"Really? I have that effect?" he muttered, trying to pull away from her hand.

"Did you mean it? Or were you being chivalrous?" she breathed out icy patterns, but all he felt was warmth. He suddenly felt very cold, and wished that he had his cloak back.

Perhaps you have your memory after all. Damn.

"What would you like me to answer?" he replied carefully. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"The truth, of course," she whispered onto his collarbone. He swallowed again.

Desist or I will be forced to kiss you.

"...Yes. Now come inside before you freeze," he mumbled, trying to pull away and stand. He fumbled, ending up balanced on one elbow with her having fallen halfway onto him. She was laughing at his discomfort, confusing him.

"I'm relieved," she said, grinning at him mischievously, "Yuffie probably would have killed you otherwise." His eyes opened wide as she said this. She laughed again.

Yuffie? Doubtful.

"Could you move then?" he asked, back in his normal polite tone, "It is cold out here. We should go inside." She shook her head, her mouth down turned. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I want you to promise me," she whispered into his ear, "that you'll stay. That you won't disappear." He shivered, uncomfortable with the warmth of her breath on his ear.

"...I promise."

"Help! Something's wrong with Cloud!" Yuffie's yell broke through the air, and they were both running toward the house, just running...

Please forgive me, Tifa.

AN: Ahem. Sorry to all you Aeris/Cloud fans out there. That is just my interpretation from the game. And no, I don't hate Aeris, so please keep those comments to yourself.

Theme songs: Precious Illusions Alanis Morissette and Bury Me Val Emmich

Another Cloud Theme Song: Breaking the Habit Linkin Park