AN: I'll be back in school on Monday, so things'll be slow for awhile. Thanks avalon-chan, for agreeing to disagree. I have odd interpretations, I know, but I am an idea person. And FF7 has enough ambiguity to allow me some ideas. Thanks again to my loyal reviewers. You make an unsure writer happy to write!

Tifa's POV. Last of the chapters of this type. Going back to normal format next chapter.

Chapter 17 – Muta: Tifa

Something wrenched in her heart when Cloud spoke of her. With his eyes clear and his voice muted. It was a frightening picture, but she knew it was alright. Vincent, with an unseen squeeze of her hand, had told her so. And she would believe anything from him.

Some would think she hated her. That Aeris was in the way of the man she had wanted, with a perfect laugh and a perfect soul.

But they would be wrong.

Sister. That was the word that came to mind when Tifa thought of her. And how her heart ached when she did. Once, her only female friend, and the person who had known her best. And, she liked to think that she knew Aeris best. For they were sisters, there was no denying that. In all but blood they shared that bond, and Tifa would honor that the rest of her days.

Even sisters sometimes love the same man. But it doesn't have to tear them apart.

She wouldn't have been happy, if Aeris had lived and Cloud had married her. That was for certain. She would have cried her eyes out and locked herself in her room.

But Aeris would have made her come out, coaxing her with that young sounding voice of hers. She would have made Tifa maid of honor, not to gloat, but because they were sisters, they were bound beyond what a man and a woman shared. And Tifa would have agreed and cried for happiness's sake when they said their vows. Because her sister would have found her happiness. And what was better than that?

She knew that Aeris didn't want to die. She never wanted that. She wanted to give all her heart and soul, but she wanted to live. She wanted to see Cloud smile, and Yuffie apologize and Vincent laugh and Cid marry Shera. And she had told Tifa that she had a wish for her, that she wanted most of all. But she had never told her what it was. It wouldn't come true if she told her.

She knew that under all that Aeris had to do, all that she wished for, she was a girl. A girl who wanted to love and laugh and tend her flower garden. That was what she loved most about the planet, her Gaia: life. The planet was life to her. So why would she wish for death?

If Aeris were here now, she would tell her what to do about the man who was sitting a foot or so away from her on a couch. In the dark. Alone. She would have been teasing her for months, but would have probably helped things along...

Tifa shook her head, sending some stray hairs into her eyes. The one window in the main room provided some light, but since it was cloudy, the moon had little chance to shine through. The light came from the orange glow of the city, which could barely be seen peering over the hills. And it was with this hint of orange glow that mingled with Vincent's strange red eyes, giving their usual illumination a softer edge. They looked warm, like melting candle wax and red Valentine candies.

And she understood that dangerous pull he had. It was there, in the warmth that she saw it; he was human. So human and frail and stubborn. The very things she had feared from Cloud were now the things she loved from him. They made her bold, unlocking that hard box that she had kept her heart in. She never would have kissed him, if not for that. She knew that it was right, that six years of half glances and timid brushings had led her to that moment. She had to.

And the foot of space between them was just killing her.

He was still uneasy around her, that politeness would never wear off, she knew. But he didn't quickly glance away when she caught him looking at her. He gave her a quick half smile before turning his attention elsewhere. But she was more of a problem. She was the one who stared.

And she could tell that he knew it, but didn't care to comment.

He was a man of action; she'd learned that nearly right away from him. When she had learned to get words from him, she knew they were incomplete, grasping. There was always a part of him that lived thirty-six years ago, waiting for it all to be just a dream. Like any word he spoke would make it real, and let the nightmares win.

"We never really talked did we?" she asked, nervously twirling a piece of her hair. He mulled over her question for a moment, and then something seemed to light up in his face.

"Of course we did," he leaned back as he spoke, "In that nonverbal, subtle way. I seem to have picked up a few of your... habits." She flushed, but kept eye contact.

"I want to hear words," she stated obstinantly, "I want to hear your words." He folded his hands in his lap and waited. Just waited, for either his mind or his mouth to catch up—it was hard to tell which.

"Do you believe we can live like this?" he whispered, like the release of a thought far too long held back.

"...I don't know," she answered, a slight quiver in her voice, "Things might go wrong. We're only human, you know."

"Say that again," he replied, quick and quietly explosive. She blinked and smiled warmly.

"Which part?" she asked, holding back the corners of her mouth as she spoke. His eyes travelled to the floor.

"The human part..." he muttered, and then looked at her, "I am a fool, I suppose."

"Oh, Vin..." she said, causing a single tear to escape, "You are human." And with that, she reached over and wrapped herself around him, either out of assurance or the simple need to touch him—she knew not which. And from the way he half grasped her; it seemed he didn't know either.

But that didn't matter. She'd spent far too much time thinking about yesterday and tomorrow. She wanted today. And today was holding onto her for dear life.

He pulled himself away for a moment, and then rested his forehead on hers. His long bangs fell to the sides, creating a barrier from the rest of the world for their faces. They stayed that way, both with their thoughts waiting for the other to speak. She knew that he would speak first, though. He didn't know it, but he always spoke first.

"...In my dreams," he whispered, his breath tickling her cheek, "...you always wear that one dress, the red one, that you wore once on Christmas. And you say things to me. About friendship and the good of people..." He paused, waiting for a signal to stop talking. She stopped her breath for a moment.

He was talking to her. About dreams. But it was there, that silent wish in the back of her mind...

He had been dreaming about her. Not some phantom of a past life.

"...But you are never smiling. And I know why," he continued, hushed and encompassing, "For how can one smile if they believe they are unloved?"

Another tear. She was getting sick of them, she'd shed so many recently. And the selfish part of herself knew who she was crying for. Herself. Sure, she had given her heart to everyone; her teammates, the children, and even Vincent. But who had given her theirs? Was it too much to ask for?

And he knew it. This stubborn old man who had frustrated her so much. This stubborn old man whose very frame begged her to touch him.

"Stubborn old man," she let slip with her exhale, causing his involuntary eyebrow raise. It almost tickled, the crease of his forehead, and the brush of his eyebrow. And for a moment she thought she had fallen into her thoughts. Falling, that was something she could do...

"I could say the same for you," he replied, with that edge of Cid's humor in his tone, "Except you are far from old and cannot even be confused for a man. I guess that just leaves stubborn." She closed her mouth, not realizing it had been lolling open. She could feel his humored grin through the space of air between their mouths, and she could feel it when it disappeared, fading into the darkness.

"You know that it really wasn't her, right?" he asked, as he pulled himself away from her, "That Cloud didn't really find her. But he did find something." She frowned, and he seemed ready for that response.

"I know you didn't want to hear about this..." he began but she made a strangling sound in her throat.

"This isn't atonement, you know," she said, her voice hard and unrelenting, "You can't buy your way to heaven by hiding things from people and then revealing them in small vague pieces!" She clapped her mouth shut on the last word, and he breathed in deeply.

"Is that what you think it is?" he replied, barely above inaudible, but he swallowed and his voice grew louder, "Do you even see what is in front of you?" And she knew she was angry at him, for reasons even he couldn't understand. Because she couldn't understand them herself.

"I don't know what to think! I've been losing memories, and regaining them..." she began, feeling that familiar throb in her knuckles, "...Cloud tried to kill me! And Surrender didn't go away! Do you know how many nightmares I've had? How afraid of sleep I am?" But she wanted very badly to retract her last phrase. She didn't feel right accusing him of not understanding that. Yet, she was human. And stubborn at that.

"I did not want to meddle not into that realm," he muttered, unconsciously gripping his knee, "Anything that may have gone on between you...and..." She glared as he looked at her, hiding his reaction to her expression. Something cruel in her, something she hadn't used since she was fifteen welled up inside her. That frightening part of her personality, covered with smiles and concern.

"Say something," she said, arm crossed and petulant. In normal circumstances he would have smirked, but instead he just sighed.

"I should never have come here, I should have stayed in Cosmo Canyon, I..." he said, a tired and aching sound in his voice, "...I...I..."

"Vincent."

She was already fighting it, that untapped cruelty. She felt it whenever Cloud gave Aeris that half grin, when she saw young couples with their even younger children, whenever Vincent said the name Lucrecia, every time his eyes glazed over in that certain way...

"......I love you," he said, clearly and resonating in his old well tuned vocal chords, "...and I do not want to protect you. I want to save you." The words didn't hold the same magic she imagined; everything wasn't suddenly, drastically happier and better. But it was good. Like knowing that he dreamed about her and warm tea on Sundays. She could live like this; she could live like this...

"I think we can live like this," she said, quietly, like opening the curtains on a darkened room to reveal the sunset, "...I'm sorry..."

"Don't."

His trembling hand was on her lips, the human one, judging by the warmth. She smiled underneath it, that sad and real smile.

"There are no apologies. Only a shot in the dark at redemption."

And it was he who was bold this time, replacing his hand with even more trembling lips. She would have flinched, at the sudden action, but she didn't care anymore. They were going over the edge, and she was smiling at the dark. He was no demon, and she was no angel...

And there would be no peace on earth. But they could live like this. Always grasping, fumbling for each other. And when he broke away, looking confused and simply wanting...

"Will you fall with me?"

AN: I had to write a trilogy of these odd chapters. I am obsessed with the number three, what can I say? I hope this takes away some of the unfinished feeling of their relationship. It's hard, cause their relationship isn't so verbal as it is the small nonverbal things... but that's how I write 'em. And no, I didn't write that Aeris part to make up for last chapter, that's how I really feel. See, I don't hate her!

Theme Songs: Three Libras A Perfect Circle (this is such a Tifa song!) My Lover's Box Garbage and Breathe In Frou Frou