Author's Note: All hail soulfulsin, cliffhanger bitch! I mean…thanks for reviewing (and reading, but I prefer both!)

Disclaimer: I don't own FOP! For the love of Deborvak and Otherkin…

Chapter Eighteen: Human Fallibilities

He's lying to her again, she knows it. Even him, Cosmo, the only least susceptible to deception, is trying to appease her by lying. Then again, he really thinks it'll make her feel better. Poor, poor deluded Cosmo.

They're on the run right now, unable to poof off to Earth because their wands have been confiscated. She doesn't even bother to scream what's running through her head, that their charges are baseless. There are loopholes in Da Rules and Jorgen knows it. He's just being a dick about it.

Almost by reflex, she snatches him out harm's way and their eyes meet. Again, he starts to blubber, asking her this and that. Of course, he knows absolutely nothing about the situation, nor will he ever. If she cannot move for a mistrial…then she'll take the exile by herself. There's no need to involve Cosmo in this.

"Wanda, what's going on? Why did they take our wands? Who did you show yourself to? Wanda!" Cosmo yells, and she must clap a hand over his mouth to silence him. They're hunting them down, damn it. She doesn't need an arrow pointing to their whereabouts.

"Hush. I'll explain it all later." If there is a later. I'm supposed to be the one who thinks things through, why couldn't I figure out that Jorgen was going to use this as ammunition against someone who wasn't privy at all? And now, if I do take the exile, I'll never see him again.

Continuing in a whisper, Cosmo speaks. "And why are you shaking so badly? You're supposed to the cool one here-"

There is no one else coming, as far as she can see. He's correct, though, she's trembling badly. The thought of Fairy World with Cosmo, bereft of her, frightens her something fierce. Not to mention how terribly she'd miss him…

"You're right! I am supposed to be the cool one! But I went and showed myself to Tootie, because she needed someone to be strong for her. I didn't tell her who I was, she figured that out on her own. I had to help her- it was either that or let Vicky kill her." It doesn't look like I had much effect, though. I wanted to protect her so badly…but I can't protect her from herself. And Timmy can't enact that spell by himself…

"But why didn't you tell me?" Wow, he's stupider than she gave him credit for. He's trying his hardest to show how capable he is to her, but she never really believed in him when the situation grew serious. After all, how can you take a person seriously when they're pouting just as she's trying to explain something?

Instead of answering, she kisses his cheek. He stares at her, taken aback by her affection. When he seeks to meet her eyes again, she will not. In her movements, he senses the take-charge attitude that he fell in love with.

"I'm sick of running! Cosmo isn't responsible for this, I am! Even if I went through a loophole, it isn't his fault! If you have to punish someone, punish me!" Wanda screams, floating out the corridor. The troops, their wands poised and aimed at her chest, pause. Jorgen, head militant, smirks at her. If she's there, Cosmo's not far behind.

"Punish me for your ineptitude! Punish me for trying, not for the first time, to save a kid destined to kill themselves! Punish me because you are too cowardly to try to help those sorely in need, just because you think there might be some danger! Go ahead, blame everything that's entirely your fault!

"That's what you think you need, someone to take the fall for you! If it's not Cosmo, it must be me because I married him. At least I admit when I'm wrong, which is far more than I can say for you!" Wanda, bristling with rage, looks the bull in the eyes and does not flinch. Jorgen, stunned into submission, says absolutely nothing.

"Yeah, and she's a better godparent than all of you because she went above and beyond! She tried to help someone who really needed her help and you're sending her away!" Cosmo snaps, darting out to join her. She mentally slaps a hand to her forehead- now her whole speech will look foolish because no one, in their right mind, can take him seriously. Truly, she appreciates what he thinks he's doing for her, but there comes a time…when she must sink or swim by herself.

"We're not just sending her away, we're sending-" Jorgen thunders, but Wanda, her hair a ball of fire, snarls in his face and dares to interrupt. Hell, if she's going to be exiled, she might as well do it with no regrets or remorse.

Through gritted teeth, she retorts, "You are only sending me away. Even if your charges are completely biased and not based at all on any fact in this known universe, you will not punish Cosmo for my folly. He did not go through the loophole to the rule that you accuse me of breaking- I did."

He nods, a grim smirk on his face. "Well, in that case…"

Cosmo reaches for her and snatches her in a desperate terror hug. It's so tight, she can't breathe. Tears stream down his face; the thought occurs to her that he might very well understand what this entails. God, Cosmo…

"Sentence her to exile, removal of her powers pending-" Jorgen begins, but the judge, his gravel thrust in the larger fairy's face, interrupts midway.

Gravely, he states simply, "I move for a mistrial. You have no charges to bring against her, so you do not have a case. You cannot ostracize a fairy just because you feel like it or to teach another a lesson. Case dismissed."

Wanda exhales hard, aware of Cosmo squeezing her ribs. He hoots happily, burying his face in her hair to inhale her scent. That's great and all, but they're in public…

Speaking of two possibly separated, they must get to Tootie and Timmy post haste.

-----

I want to believe him…like a lot of other things. For instance, I want to have him make love to me, but that's not going to happen.

Not if I don't wake up, that is. How can he make me reconsider my thoughts of suicide? How can he incite such a phenomenal reaction in me? How does he make me want to live again, if only merely for him?

His words conveyed such beauty, and, at the same time, such desperateness. The only reason he said them at all was as a last resort…

But that's what I always feel like, a last resort. Oh, every other place is full, let's book a room inside Tootie and screw her until it starts raining pink and green animals. That's what Ricky clearly thought of me, just another girl to feel up.

Timmy thinks I downgrade myself too much, that I consider myself so lowly. It's true, I am. All my life, I've lived for Vicky, to do whatever her royal heinous desired. It never mattered to her that I cried at night or what I really wanted to do with my life.

Every night, when Timmy didn't come, back when I was young and naïve, I'd bawl my eyes out. It was either him or my parents, but my parents never cared. Why should they? If I was nothing in Vicky's eyes, I'm nothing in theirs either.

I'm always playing second fiddle- to Vicky, to Trixie. I'm not as pretty as little miss slut nor am I as bitchy as either of them. I'm just me, Tootie, pure and unadulterated. That must be what's so unattractive to everyone, that I'm so plain.

What really sets me apart from everyone else? My schoolwork? Ha, that's a laugh. I'm only doing well in school to occupy myself and take my mind off the fact that my life blows.

All my life, I've been searching for a quick release, a way to get out of life free. Here it is, but do I want it anymore? Is there something I want more? Can Timmy grant me my wishes?

There's no way to escape all the pain that Vicky and Ricky caused me…and they might begin it again. I might wake up only to realize things have gotten a thousand times worse.

But Timmy seems to think it'll be worth it. That, when I wake up…he'll finally love me and it'll be a fairy tale ending.

I've got news for you, Turner- nothing is the way it ends in fiction. The hero gets hurt, the hero becomes the villain, and…sometimes, the hero doesn't get the girl. Sometimes, no matter how hard you fight, the girl dies.

Am I the damsel in distress in this tale? Is that why Timmy thinks he has to save me, because it'll end the perfect story? And they all lived happily after?

Ha. As if such things could happen in real life, as if I could ever be happy enough to consider life over liberty.

When I was little, I wanted to marry him, have a set of twins, and come home every day to someone that wasn't Vicky. He'd hold me and love me, because no one else did. He'd be my knight in shining armor…

Do fairy tales ever true? Can faith lost be renewed? Is it possible for Timmy to be telling the truth? Does some great master, laughing and mocking us derisively, preordain our lives?

If that's so, does it really matter what I choose? No matter what I say, I'll be screwed. But will that make me happy?

Do I know what it's like to be happy any more? I haven't smiled in so long, I don't think it's physically possible to. I can't honestly say I remember the last time I laughed.

Can Timmy make me happy? Can he staunch my tears, kiss away my fears? Or is that just a vague concept, made fuzzy by childish dreams and immature beliefs?

Have I elevated Timmy in my eyes because I saw him so high? If I wake up, will all my hopes be crushed bitterly? Does he really hold the key to my future?

I suppose everything returns to this- do I believe him when he says he loves me? Or does he just think of it as teen love, fleeting and forever elusive? Will I just be another easy lay for him, like Trixie was?

And if I am, did I bring upon myself? Have I brought this fate upon myself? Is everything that's happened to me my fault? Vicky says it is, but, then again, she's blamed everything on me, including my birth.

I invited him to sleep with me, because that's what I wanted him to do…and I still do. If I only invite him in to tell him I'm choosing death (a small voice whispers- the coward's way out), can I still tell him to ravage me? Will he? Does he respect me at all?

This is may be something I need to figure out on my own, but…what if I figure it out wrongly? This isn't a hypothetical situation, where there are no wrong answers, there's only one answer.

But what is it? Is it the future I've been seeking since I was a little kid? Is the own where Timmy and I play house for real?

Or is the one I'm living now, full of torture and self-loathing? I know my parents won't come to my rescue…Timmy's all I have to keep me sane…and if he's lying…

I'll never have another chance like this to end it. If I die now, no one can call it suicide besides Timmy, and he'd have one hell of a hard time convincing anyone.

Since when am I concerned with what people think? That's Trixie's area, not mine. She's the real heroine here, not me. I'm just a sideline floozy.

That's all I'll ever be, a seemingly secondary character, only appearing once in a while to give the hero trouble and piss die-hard fans off. But…can I break the cycle? Can I make myself happy?

Do I dare to embrace Timmy, caress his cheek, and…kiss him? Do I dare to find out if I have a future and, if I do, what it entails? Do I dare to hope?

There's only one way to find…but I'm scared…I'm so scared…Timmy…hold me…

Timmy…I love you…I love you so much, it hurts…and…I have to…to tell you…

I need you…and I need the real you, not the one I created in my head. I don't care if it means rejection…I need to take that chance…because if I don't…I'll never have those twins…

Here goes nothing…

Her breath sallow, Tootie slowly opens her eyes to the world…and, not her Timmy…but the real one.