Let me tell you of my plans for this story. First I'm going to have fun ripping off and knocking your classical Mary-sues and the very annoyingly overused plot lines, then, when I've gott'em all there before me, the bashing begins!! Woo Yeah…drop me a note if you wanna help with the bashing J
Chapter 1. Princess, the pugnacious beautyA scream littered the chilly air of the traditional empty alleyway as a silver-haired man took pleasure in slipping tight fingers around the milky skin of a pretty girl's neck. Pressuring her up against a wall, the corners of his mouth pricked into a wry smirk
"Looks like I've got you at last," he hissed, voice rough yet syrupy with his distinctive malevolence. The girl struggled defiantly, beady silver eyes never abandoning contact with Bakura's grim brown ones
"It's not over yet!" The girl snapped through gritted teeth. Bakura let slip a snicker
"And why is that?" More pressure was applied on the girl's creamy-coloured neck. The hazel-haired femme shot Bakura with a menacing glower, determined to not show him the pain she was feeling. Somehow pushing the horrid sensation of being choked away, the girl ceased her struggles just the slightest
"Because," She huffed dangerously, "…Mary-sues never die,"
She said this with the iciest malice once would ever expect from such a beautiful girl, warning of the fiery temper she inevitably possessed. Her inner strength lay intertwined with the vibes of her tone, a strength that nestled within the ex-thief's core, warning him that this girl meant business. Though it almost sent shivers down the his back, Bakura merely replied with a smirk
"Whatever girl. I might as well get your name before I kill you," He growled. The girl smirked back at him
"Well, my name is Aurora Serenity Melody Starlight Shadow Dagger Princess Isarlet Dream Light Stardust Dawn Rose Elecktra Luna Rayne Boa Felicity Destiny Heartblade, but you can just call me Princess :D"
Bakura blinked.
"…I swear you mother has issues," He muttered underneath his breath. Nevertheless, he continued to taunt icily
"Right, and I suspect Yami or Seto Kaiba is going to jump out of nowhere and knock me out of the way so he can save you and capture your heart with his courage? Haha!! Woo! Don't make me la-" suddenly, Bakura felt a voluminous form impact with his own, sending him flying to the cold concrete floor. Growling, he lifted his head to find the silhouette of a looming figure standing over him, his essential mantle flapping so perfectly even though there was no wind.
Princess's eyes glared to the figure
"Seto! Why did you have to come! I can save myself and you know that!" she snapped towards the lanky brunette. Bakura stared in disbelief
"No way…" He muttered, shaking his head. Suddenly, the taping of feet against the ground neared as another cloaked man graced the scene
"Oh NO! Princess! Are you ok?!" The unmistakable tone and demeanor of Yami filled the air. The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes
"Of COURSE I'm ok! There's no way I'd let him take me down!" She spoke confidently, stepping down from the wall she had just been backed up against. Flipping her silky hair, her eyes bore down upon Bakura's wounded form. No, wait…Bakura's fatally wounded form. Logic isn't our first priority here, remember?
"Listen to me boys, you know I can kick pretty serious ass, you've seen me fight a dozen times! Remember when I took on those thugs? My fists are practically wrought of steal!" And with that, Princess powerfully stabbed the toe of her shoe into Bakura's side, causing a gasp of pain to exhort from the antagonist's lips, all while Yami and Seto ogled in awe.
Rolling him onto his back with her foot, Princess spat upon Bakura's writhing face, disgusted
"You just got lucky!" The fatally wounded man just managed to pull the words from his mouth. Suddenly, he let out another anguished scream of pain as Princess drove her fist right into his abdomen
"Oh my gosh she's so strong!" Yami said out loud, slapping his palm to his cheek rigidly. Seto nodded in awe. Just as Princess was about to kill Bakura with a stomp to the throat, a random little girl with rather long dark hair and an Asian visage sporadically stormed into the scene, infuriated
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOO!" She snapped to no-one in particular
"This is supposed to be a mary-sue bashing!!" She huffed in an aggravated fashion. With a wave of the hand, Bakura sprung to his feet and whipped out a dagger from nowhere, plunging it into Princess's chest and killing her instantly. Seto and Yami blinked back tears, but steeled after a sharp glare from the authoress. Dusting off her hands proudly, the girl returned to her seat at the keyboard.
Anyhow, Bakura tugged the metal blade out of the girl's chest, revealing a deep, severed wound weeping pearls of shinny crimson. A sickening grin etched upon his face as a mist of laugher rose from his lungs
"Pathetic fool! I love nothing better than a bit of bloodshed," He spoke to himself, ignoring Yami and Seto's gasps of protests as he began to streak his dagger down Princess's lifeless face, splitting her skin in an array of bloody vertical streaks.
Yami, being the 'hero' he was destined to be, made a growl that denoted constipation as he stepped forward and pointed to Bakura
"Urgh! You disreputable villain! Minion of felony! Demon of odious treason! Spawn of satan! Filthy, abominable nuance of revolting FILTH!!" He ranted, haunting Bakura with his purple eyes that trembled with rage…and yes, people, sorry to break it to you, but his
eyes are actually purple, not red like some claim it to be.
Bakura licked his lips
"…Then come and get me," He taunted, raising his dagger to his lips and running his tongue across the slosh of red that stained the metal. Yami's face pulled in disgust, but he was determined to defend his heroic repute.
"I FIGHT FOR HONOR!" He declared. Suddenly, Princess came back to life for absolutely no reason at all and made notice of her presence by punching Bakura square in the jaw.
"What?!" The ex-thief yelled, as blood poured from his mouth. Amazingly, Princess was not hurt one bit from punching such a hard surface. Something stirred on Princess's face as she turned to the readers
"Of course I didn't get hurt!" She said with confidence, "I punch so many things so often nothing hurts my irons fists! I can knock down brick walls with them without shedding one single drop of blood!"
Once again, the Asian girl who had called herself the authoress appeared at random and glared at Princess
"Whatever," She muttered.
Bakura heaved a big sigh, growling at the girl as his cupped hands filled quickly with his blood
"…and tell me, oh miss authoress…WHY the HELL did you revive her?!" He snapped. The authoress seemed to retreat in slight trepidation
"Hey, I figured this story'd be no fun if there wasn't any MS bashing," She commented with a shrug.
Yami raised an eyebrow at the afore mentioned girl
"…and who exactly are you?" He questioned. The girl smiled
"The authoress," She replied. Seto smirked
"We know that! I mean, like, what's your name perhaps? And what's your famous username? Blue Aura Of The Angelic Emerald? Or perhaps it's Crimson Winged Dragoness Tamer Of The Spirit Sapphire? Or MAYBE it's DarkStarlightMagicGirlAuraSparkleEmeraldFireMoonbeamsLightEssenceWindNightSpiritAngelWingsPrincessRubyDreamCrimsonCloudsHorsesFairieSkyDancerIllusionsMistressShadowAzureBladeGleemSilverRosePinketSprinklesBabyGlamourLoveMermaidDaisyNightShadeAuroraWaterWhiteAngelicGoddess?" (A:N try saying all that in one breath!)
It was now the authoress's turn to raise the eyebrows
"No…my name's Leath, and it's Sacred Immortal," She said, pointing up to where her user name is displayed on the page. With a grin, she disappeared just as randomly as she had appeared.
"EXCUSE ME!" Princess yelled, hands propped bossily on her hips, "How DARE you ignore me!"
Bakura grinned wickedly
"Leath has especially assigned me with a special mission…TO BASH PEOPLE LIKE YOU!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO!? WE HAVE TO SEEK OUT YOUR KIND AND KILL THEM ALL!! MWAHAHAHA!!"
"Not so fast!" Princess called, raising her hands in the air. Within her clutches, she held a golden staff dangerously high as a streaked of sun flashed across it's length
"You won't be killing anyone so long as I have the millennium staff!" She declared heroically, caramel tendrils cascading against the wind. Yami's eyes dilated
"The millennium staff?! Since when was there an eighth sennen item!?"
Princess smirked
"Logic is never a priority when dealing with MS's!" She proclaimed, lowering the weapon and pointing it at Bakura
"The millennium staff is the most powerful item out of all the artifacts!! So I suggest you to get out of my sight, else I'll whoop your ass so bad you'd wish you were born without one!"
Bakura stared in disbelief. This was beyond a nightmare!
I'm going to kill that stupid authoress!! I swear!! He thought, as he deviously brought his own weapon in preparation to attack. Without warning, the muscular man slung his bloodstained dagger forward, sending the weapon catapulting towards Princess's curvaceous body. Having sensed the attack, Princess made a dexterous dodge and cleanly avoided the hit. The dagger the continued to spin before it thwacked the trunk of a tree, making Bakura fill the air with profane curses.
"NO!" Yami randomly yelled, seizing Bakura's raised arms as he pulled two more daggers out of thin air
"Don't hurt her! You have no reason to!"
Bakura glared at Yami as he shrugged him off
"Why not, Pharaoh?" He mocked with a sneer, readying his two sharp throwing daggers. Yami hesitated for moments. That was a good question…why? Why did he suddenly care about this girl's safety so much? Surely, he always strove to help people, but for some reason, the emotions behind his words were so much stronger this time around. There was something about Princess that made her different from all the other girls. It wasn't just her awe-defying looks, nor her natural feminine charm, but something much deeper…something so deep, even Yami couldn't quite comprehend. He could feel it now, even as she stood far from him, her spirit blazing and emanating from her like some angelic aura. He could tell that Princess held an amazingly strong spirit, a spirit that he sensed would bring her great things and continue to amaze him if he kept watch on this fiery-tempered femme.
"What is it about this girl that makes you believe she deserves to be spared the pits of hell?" Bakura continued when Yami hesitated a moment too long
Princess's eyes widened as she, with her superhumanly sharp hearing, overheard
"Hell?! How dare you!! Can't any fool see I'm too perfect for hell?" She questioned bitterly, waving a supple hand in disgust. Leath's causeless voice suddenly peeked into her mind
Shut up! You have no place ruining my storyline!!
Princess rolled her eyes
"What storyline? You have none!" She snapped out loud.
…How the hell would you know?!
"…I'm a Mary-sue, it's quite safe to say I pretty much know everything,"
Bakura flashed a sinister grin as he watched the two girls bicker, taking the moment of distraction as a perfect opportunity to attack. Again, two spinning daggers hurled at Princess, so fast that their forms were just streaks of hazy silver slicing across the air. Hazel eyes expanded in glee as, this time, Bakura was sure he'd bag his target once and for all.
Suddenly, with a deft twirl and hand movement that would've put any impossible Hollywood fighter character to shame, Princess wheeled around and caught both daggers right in their tracks. Grinning proudly, she brought both weapons in front of her, elbows raising as she kneeled down into a fighting stance
"You thought you could kill me, huh? Well, guess again!" With that, the two daggers shot out so sleek and quickly at Bakura, it was almost certain that they had been fired from a cannon or something of the sort. With impossible speed, the two bladed weapons pitched for their target at Bakura's neck.
Suddenly, a beam of crimson light broke through the air, intercepting the two blades and blasting them off course. Princess's brow furrowed in disgust
"What?! That was a perfect shot! How?!?"
Leath's voice randomly echoed through the alleyway
…There's only one thing who can even be a match for a Mary-sue… She said plaintively
"Yo momma?" Seto asked immaturely. Though her visual presence was non-existent, one could easily tell that Leath was in the process of rolling her eyes
No Einstein…another Mary-sue!!
This sent a chorus of gasps as, suddenly, everyone's attention was diverted towards a silhouetted figure standing atop a building not far from them. With a curvaceous body that somehow retained some modesty, the girl jumped down off the roof to reveal blonde, just-past-shoulder-length layered hair that nestled against the perfect wind. Though the building she jumped off was at least ten feet tall, she made it look merely a quarter of the length.
Peeling back her sumptuous lashes, she revealed sparkling blue-green eyes