Disclaimer: I own nothing! Warning: deep angst and suicidal references.

Chapter 61

With a strangled cry, Tony brought the knife in an arch that would take her head off. Sarah felt it coming closer and did nothing to deflect the blow, her eyes never leaving his.

The blade stopped at her throat, blood appeared where it had come in contact with the skin, but it did not continue its assault. Tony trembled in front of her and with an anguished cry he dropped the blade and collapsed to his knees.

"I can't" he whispered eyes impossibly wide with the horror of what he had almost done to her.

Sarah knelt and enfolded him into her arms as he had for her, that night in the rain, in that very spot.

"It's all gone Tony" she whispered into his hair "The sun's fading from me and everything's going with it, I'm growing hard and hollow… some things… I don't feel now" He stirred and stepped up out of her embrace.

She stood to face him "What do you feel now?" he asked.

Sarah's eyes shone and without hesitating she said, "Fear of losing those I love and being the cause of it. Everything else is dull compared to that… that's why I must do this Tony. I don't want to hurt you."

Anger flashed in his eyes again "You'll hurt us by doing this!! It hurts me like hell! What about you're Mum, your sister? What will they think when you never come home?"

She regarded him sadly "Tony, I have to do this." He stared at her grief stricken.

"Tony, remember what I said before. You lost me two weeks ago; I'm doing what I should have done then. I'm saving you and I'm saving what's left of me." He stood trembling in front of her.

She turned and looked towards the eastern mountains, which now stood clearly silver against the black of the night.

It was time to go.

Sarah pulled him into a last embrace, placing her hands on his chest and feeling his heart beat beneath her fingers, the rhythm echoed in her ears. Her own heart broke the moment she pulled away.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then she turned and started to walk away.

Tony's hand grasped hers for a second and she glanced back.

Tears streamed down his face "goodbye" she whispered.

She didn't look back again; she just ran.

Her body shifted into her hated demon form as she took to the air. Below and behind her she heard a scream of sorrow and rage and the sickening thud of Tony's fist connecting with the Manor's outer wall.

Tony gasped at the pain in his bloodied hand as he watched her fly away.

Anna appeared at his side to examine the wound. "I should have saved her," he whispered.

Van Helsing placed a hand on his shoulder "it was her choice, none of us could have stopped her"

Tony shook his head "No! I should have been there when she was taken! I could have held them back; I could have stopped her from leaving her shelter! Her worst fear has always been that she's alone, that she would die alone! And it happened to her! And now it's going to happen again!" he broke down sinking against the wall of the manor in utter despair.

Forty-five minutes later he watched as the first real ray of sunlight appeared over the mountains.

He stared at it and tried to imagine what she was feeling right now…where she was…

Jory, Chris, Marston, Bob and Amie approached him from the door. He gave no indication that he saw them.

They exchanged a glance, Jory knelt beside his friend "What you doing out here Hongy?" he asked concerned.

Tony closed his eyes tightly against them.

They didn't know yet, none of them knew.

"Where's Sarah?" Amie asked innocently.

The group were shocked when they saw a tear glide smoothly down Tony's cheek. They watched as he stood slowly and opened his eyes. In a hollow voice he began to explain.

Anna stood in Van Helsing's embrace, taking strength from his presence. Carl watched them silently from across the room. They all heard the desperate cries of their young friends.

Van Helsing rested his head on top of Anna's so that she wouldn't see his tears. "It's better this way" he whispered desperate to believe it. Carl closed his eyes only to see Sarah screaming and writhing in pain as the sun turned her to ashes.

Note: know that one was short but you'll forgive me if I add the next chapie straight away :D