Cole To The Infinite Power

Chapter 1: With Time To Spare.

By: Alchemystik32

Cole:

I've had time to remember what I could about my past, while I wait here in limbo. I've been hoping to be " Rekindled ", to get another chance to make up for all the pain and suffering I caused those that I loved. Time is different here, so I've been filling it by remembering, trying to pinpoint the highs and lows in my life, just in case I..well, let's just leave it at that.

I was born in San Francisco, at a time more distant than I care to remember. My father, Benjamin Coleridge Turner was a respected man, well-read and well-bred, a banker, a politician, a philanthropist. Nothing in his staid and ordered life prepared him to fall in love with the demon sent to destroy him, my mother, Elizabeth. A tall woman, willowy, with dark hair and brilliant blue eyes, she had been sent to deter my father from a path he had chosen, one which did not agree with those in the charge of the Underworld. She went with all intention of carrying out her mission, but like mother, like son, she fell in love with her quarry instead. The rest, to coin the proverbial phrase, is history. My history.

I don't remember my father, only what I was told. Why? Because Mother was finally forced to do what she had been sent for in the first place. She killed him, thereby ending his opposition to my training. My demonic training, that is. You see, Mother was an upper level demon, one of the elite, and there was just no way in hell her son was going to grow up to be a banker or a lawyer. I already had a destiny hand-picked for me, so to speak. I was sent to train under the tutelage of Raynor, to learn the demon way. However...

I was already different. I was half human, with human thoughts, emotions...weaknesses. I had a conscience, I had a soul. I didn't exactly work and play well with others and felt angry, conflicted...betrayed. My mother abandoned me at the young age of six...and I never saw her again. I could've made a psychiatrist rich talking about my formative years.

I listened and learned, worked hard, and tried to distance myself from my human half. I learned to submerge that occasional twinge of guilt, or pity. I became an arrogant, narrow-minded asshole, so sure that our way, the way of The Brotherhood, was the only true way. Belonging to a higher caliber of demondom, I sneered at those below me, and browned my nose whenever necessary. Now I can't help but wonder, for what? Just what was I trying to prove?

For a long time, I felt my mother killed my father, and abandoned me, because she was ashamed of the one trait my father and I shared. Our essential humanity. Did she ever understand the struggle that went on inside of me daily, and how by so suppressing that part of me, I almost lost myself forever? What would she think if she knew my redemption came in the most human of all emotions...

Love...?

They say evil lurks in the hearts of all men. Does that mean that love lurks in the blackest of souls? For how else do you explain what happened to me? Besides the obvious and over-rated saying about the apple not falling far from the tree. I was assigned to kill the Charmed Ones, and ended up a traitor, a fugitive...all for love.

The road was rocky, indeed. I tried desperately to deny the attraction growing between us. The heat, the passion...those emotions I could deal with. Love 'em and Leave 'em, that had been my motto for years. I used those three words, and the act of love to get me whatever it was that I needed at that time. I had no compunction about screwing my way up the demonic ladder if necessary, but always...always. That little voice inside my head, telling me that what I was doing was less than cool. My conscience? Perhaps.

The Charmed Ones. Where do you even begin to describe these women? Powerful, yes, but their powers were just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. They had a bond, a kinship that I sensed from the very beginning...and I hated them for it. They had everything I thought I despised, yet soon found myself yearning for. Family, a sense of belonging.

Prue, the oldest was always my nemesis. Bright but suspicious, powerful but protective as a mother hen where her sisters were concerned. She didn't trust me in the beginning. She never fully trusted me, and if Prue had had her way, she would have vanquished me single-handedly, rather than see what I ultimately became...and what Phoebe became because of me.

Piper was cautious, but usually too caught up in her own anxieties to really pay that much attention to me in the beginning. Later...that was a different story.

Paige, the fourth sister, discovered after Prue's untimely death, seems to have channeled her oldest sister's habits, along with her powers. I was always on the proverbial shit list where Paige was concerned. Even as the family newbie, she had a hard time fighting demons by day, and then knowing that her sister was sleeping with one that night. Made dinnertime a bit uncomfortable at times.

And then, there was Phoebe. The wild woman-child exterior hid a wiser, more compassionate person than many were aware of. Free-spirited, trusting, even a bit naïve, nonetheless, Phoebe was no one's fool. My mission took second place to my growing need to know more about her...to try and understand why this frail human was having such a devastating effect on the mighty Belthazor...

Four remarkable young women, bound by destiny and love. However, so much happened to me before they entered my life...some remains fogged, like a distant dream, while other times are crystal clear. I traveled far, met many people. I soaked up evil, learned to love the feeling of the seductive darkness, like the kiss of black velvet on my heated flesh. Even without my demonic side, I was never truly free of the dark side's siren call. It had saturated every fiber of my being, drilled itself deep within my heart and mind...even now, as I await my fate, I can sip it like a fine old wine. Power corrupts, but evil seduces, and a brighter man than I ever was told me that the feeling of oneness with the dark is never quite eradicated. How right he was.

Belthazor. My demonic half. Not the prettiest face at the ball, but I was strong, powerful...a legend in the Underworld. I had mentored many a young demon, although that came back to bite me on the ass more than once, and had never lost a battle. Not as Belthazor. My athame and I had wrecked havoc far and wide, and the Charmed Ones? Just another job to do. Ok, I had to be quick and quiet, these were no fledgling practitioners, but failure? Me? Never happened, never would. Or so I thought.

I traveled far, saw much, yet nothing compares to the first time I gazed into velvet brown eyes swimming in a sunlight face. The heart has its reasons...Life played its game.

I just never knew the rules...

Yet long before the Halliwell sisters walked on this earth, I had lived a lifetime's worth of experiences. Some remain as clear as crystal in my mind, while others take on the semblance of a dream. Training, honing ones skills, learning self-restraint, took up many years, and once I was free to begin pursuing my profession I became drunk on that freedom. And, myself. I was a good demon, soon one of the most feared, but what a travesty of a human being I became. No deed was too dark, no action too heinous for me to commit, and commit them I did.

Bear with my musings, hold back your judgments and I'll take you to the places I knew best...and introduce you to some of the people who knew the person I was then.

Author's Note: Please excuse the bolding, but I'm legally blind, and it's the only way I can see what I write.