Truths
By Neurotica
Twenty-Nine
Remus stood next to the kitchen window watching the sun set over the trees as he had done so many times since his youth. He turned to the clock on the wall behind him. Five fifty-six, it read. With a slight sigh, Remus walked to the stove and finished stirring the heating potion in his black cauldron. As the contents bubbled, he pulled out a glass from the cabinet and ladled some of the potion into it.
"Cheers," he muttered to the empty kitchen before pinching his nose and downing the Wolfsbane Potion in a few gulps.
As he swallowed the last drop, a pop sounded from behind him. He glanced out of the corner of his eye, but didn't turn around. Remus rinsed the glass in the sink and finally turned to find Sirius grinning at him from the kitchen table.
Remus smiled back and sat across from him at the table. "What took so long? Thought you'd gotten lost," he teased.
"Nah, Harry didn't want to let me leave. He's still a little wary about spending the full moon alone," Sirius said with a hint of guilt at leaving his godson alone for the night.
Remus nodded. "Can't say I blame him too much, but this was your idea."
"Yeah, I know. Still, it took Molly and me twenty minutes to get him to let me go. And then it was ten more minutes before he would let me leave. Finally, Fred and George came in and offered to take him flying. I don't think I have ever seen him change moods so quickly." Sirius chuckled.
Remus laughed and looked out the window again.
"Did you take your potion?" Sirius asked.
"Yes, Sirius." Remus rolled his eyes.
"Hey, I'm just looking out for your well-being," Sirius said defensively.
Remus chuckled. "I know. Come on, we should get down there. I don't feel like having to repair all of the upstairs furniture in the morning."
Sirius nodded and stood, crossing the room to place his wand next to Remus' on the kitchen counter. He went to the basement door and held it open for Remus. "After you." He grinned.
Remus rolled his eyes and slapped Sirius in the back of the head, but headed down the basement stairs.
"That hurt, you know," Sirius said, rubbing his head and following Remus down the stairs.
"Get over it," Remus muttered, taking off his robes and placing them neatly on a shelf so they wouldn't get ruined in the coming night. He wrapped a blanket loosely around his waist and sat on the floor.
Sirius reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around. "You know, we really should fix this place up a bit. We could get a nice rug to go for the middle of the floor so you don't have to lie down on concrete. A new light—not this single-bulb-hanging-from-the-ceiling rubbish you've got going on. You'd be surprised what a difference it'd make."
Remus looked up from his spot on the floor. "Sirius," he said.
"Yeah?"
"Shut up." Sirius stuck out his tongue in a very childish way making Remus laugh.
Sirius sat at the foot of the stairs and watched as Remus' breathing increased and he grew paler. A few more minutes passed and Remus tensed visibly. "Now..." he breathed.
Sirius stood, turned to face the wall, and transformed in the large black dog. His ears perked as he listened to Remus' cries of pain, wishing he could help somehow. Even since their first full moon as Animagi, Remus didn't want his friends to watch his transformations. They never understood why, I mean, how bad could it be? That was until one night in seventh year when Sirius and James snuck a quick look; it wasn't a pretty sight, and after that Sirius and James remained turned away until it was over. Neither could bear to see their friend in so much pain.
A low growl replaced the cries after what seemed like hours, and Padfoot turned around. Moony was facing the opposite wall, curled up on the ground and panting hard.
Slowly, Padfoot crossed the basement and nudged the back of Moony's head. The werewolf turned his head painfully and stared into the dog's eyes. Padfoot barked quietly and backed away from Moony. If werewolves could roll their eyes, Moony would have done so. He shakily stood on all fours crossing to the other canine. Padfoot barked louder and smacked Moony playfully with a paw.
As a response, Moony barked as well and snapped lightly at the paw. Padfoot made a sound that resembled a chuckle and launched himself at the werewolf.
The two animals wrestled around for a bit—Moony was careful not to bite or scratch his friend. By the time they had finished, both were panting for breath, both long tongues hanging from their mouths. Padfoot went to the corner of the basement and began drinking from a large bowl of water that had been placed there earlier in the day. Moony sat on the basement floor and looked out the small window, light from the full moon flooding in and warming him in a way he hadn't felt in years.
Just four months ago, he had looked out this very same window, waiting for his friends to join him. That was when he had spotted Wormtail. After that, his life had changed forever. If you would have told Moony, or his human counterpart, before the moon had risen that night that he would soon have one of his best friends back with him, he probably would have bitten you.
Moony smiled in a way only a werewolf could manage. Things had turned out all right after all.
There was a soft thud next to Moony as Padfoot sat next to him. Moony glanced over and watched his friend gaze out the window as well, probably thinking the same things he had been.
Padfoot began to howl a deep, mournful tune. Moony followed his example. It was a sad moment for the both of them as they remembered the one who would never return to them. The majestic stag who would stand in the shadows and watch the two canines wrestle and play, and roll his eyes when they had finally finished before leading them proudly through the tunnel and out on Hogwarts grounds.
The two friends finished their song and laid down silently onto the ground, sleep followed quickly.
Sirius sat silently next to Remus, watching his friend's heavy ragged breathing after his transformation. He had covered Remus with a warm blanket and waited patiently for him to wake.
Slowly, Remus opened his eyes.
"Morning," Sirius said quietly, no smile evident on his face.
"Morning," Remus groaned. He sat up with Sirius' help and pulled the blankets further up his body.
"Happy Halloween," Sirius said dryly, not looking at Remus.
Remus looked at his friend's sad face and returned the sentiment. "Happy Halloween," he whispered.
The two sat in their own thoughts for a moment before Sirius stood and crossed the basement. He picked up a pair of boxer shorts and a clean pair of jeans that he had gone to get for Remus just after he transformed at moonset.
"Thanks," Remus said, taking the clothes from Sirius. He pulled them on and accepted the hand Sirius had stuck out, getting off the cold ground.
The pair silently went up the basement stairs and into the kitchen.
"What time are we going to get Harry?" Remus asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Ten," Sirius replied tonelessly, pulling out things to make breakfast.
Remus nodded and studied his friend for a moment. He seemed to have been a bit withdrawn that day and the reason why was more than obvious: It was the first Halloween Sirius had truly experienced since the one five years ago, the one that changed everyone's lives for the worst.
Remus allowed Sirius to make breakfast in peace while he took a quick shower. Once he had finished and dressed, Remus went back to the kitchen and started on a much needed meal. Sirius was barely eating anything, preferring to push his eggs across the plate with his fork, but Remus didn't question him on it.
"Are you sure we should take him?" Sirius asked, staring into his pumpkin juice.
Remus finished chewing his toast before answering. "Yes, I do. He's old enough to understand, he's never been there, and I think he wants to see them," he answered quietly.
Sirius nodded before standing and emptying his full breakfast into the trash can. "Well, we'd better go. It's almost ten," he said in a voice would have considered casual if they had not known the wizard for most of their life.
Remus quickly finished his breakfast and placed his plate in the sink. "See you there," he said, picking up his wand and Apparating to the Burrow.
Sirius remained in the empty kitchen deep in thought. Finally, he nodded resolutely, picked up his own wand, and followed Remus.
When he arrived at the front door of the Weasley home, Molly had just answered.
"Good morning, Molly," Remus said.
"Good morning, boys," Molly said with a tired smile. "Come on in. Harry's just in the living room with Ron and the others."
Sirius and Remus followed Molly into the house. Harry was playing a junior version of wizard's chess with Ron. One of Ron's pieces had just knocked Harry's queen in half and the redhead threw his hands up in the air triumphantly.
"I win!" he shouted.
Harry stared bewildered at the chess board. "You cheated!" he declared.
"Did not!" Ron replied.
"You did, too!"
Remus, Sirius, and Molly watched, amused, as the two six-year-olds argued.
"Seem familiar, Padfoot?" Remus grinned.
Sirius laughed, drawing Harry's attention away from Ron. "Too familiar," he grunted as Harry threw himself at his godfather.
"Did you have fun, Harry?" Remus asked, ruffling the boy's hair.
"Yeah! We flew and played pranks on Percy and played chess," Harry said very quickly.
"I hope he wasn't too much trouble, Molly," Remus said to the redheaded woman.
"Oh, no, not at all," she said with a wave of her hand. "He was an absolute dear."
"I don't think we're talking about the same Harry here..." Sirius snorted playfully, poking Harry in the side.
"Hey!" Harry said, outraged.
"Hey!" Sirius mocked.
Remus smiled at the two. "Okay, children, it's time to go. Say goodbye to the Weasleys, Harry."
"Bye, Weasleys!" Harry called into the living room. The children returned the goodbye and Harry turned in Sirius' arms, now facing Molly. "Bye, Mrs. Weasley. Thanks for letting me stay over."
"Anytime, Harry, dear," she said fondly. "I'll be seeing you boys soon," she added to Sirius and Remus.
The two wizards said their goodbyes and the three of them Apparated back home.
Sirius, Remus, and Harry walked slowly across the dark green grass in complete silence. All three were wearing their best black robes and their expressions were somber. They crossed through the black steel gates and followed Remus, who was the only one of them to have ever been there. Beautiful tombstones filled the cemetery for those who had fallen during Voldemort's reign. It was an entirely wizarding place, and had become a sad necessity during the later years of the war. They walked across the stone path to the farthest corner of the cemetery, and stopped only when they reached a large granite memorial.
Sirius felt a growing lump in his throat as he read the inscriptions engraved into the stone:
James Harold Potter --- Lily Marie Potter
27 March 1960 --- 30 January 1960
31 October 1981
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death
It was simple, too simple for Sirius' liking. The inscription said nothing about the joy Lily brought to a room when she simply walked in, or about the way James brought laughter into their hearts even during the dark times when they thought there was no hope of survival. It was not enough to tell the world how amazing Lily and James had truly been. Sirius didn't think he could find enough words in the English language—or any language for that matter—to describe what they meant to him. But he hoped they knew...
Remus sniffed and led Harry to the foot of the graves. Harry placed a dozen white roses on the ground before his parents and stepped back, taking Sirius' and Remus' hands in each of his own.
"You want a minute, Sirius?" Remus asked quietly.
Sirius nodded and heard Remus leading Harry away to give him a bit of privacy. He knelt down slowly, holding back tears as best as he could.
"Hey, you two," he whispered. He looked around for a moment, not sure of how to begin. He had never done this before, and there was so much he wanted to say. He spotted Remus and Harry not too far away, looking at other graves. "I hope you two can see him now. It's only been a few months, but he's already changed so much from what he was when we got him from the Dursleys.
"I know you are both probably pissed at me for letting him go there, but I tried. Really, I did. I wanted to take him, and raise him as my own from the beginning. And I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to. I'm sorry for not being your Secret-Keeper when you asked me to. I'm sorry for not being there for Harry and Remus all these years. I hope you can forgive me someday." Sirius paused, not bothering to wipe the tears from his face. "We are trying, you know, Moony and me. I know we're not doing as good a job as you two would, but we're trying.
"He's so much like the two of you, it's scary sometimes. He looks just like you, Prongs, with that damn hair and those glasses." He laughed softly. "But he's got Lily's eyes, and her temper. He's smart as hell, too. He's going to be a damn good wizard when he gets to Hogwarts. Gryffindor, of course. And I'll bet you anything he's going to be a star on the Quidditch team. Sorry, Lil, but there's just no way in hell that kid's going to be in the Gobstones Club." He smiled. "I miss you both. Everyday. I hope you know that. And also know that I love you both." Sirius stood and walked to the gravestones. He bent down and kissed the top.
Sirius wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe and went to join Remus and Harry.
"You all right?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded and smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Your turn."
Remus walked past him, squeezing his shoulder on the way, and went to speak to Lily and James. Sirius watched him for a moment before turning back to Harry. His godson had sat himself under a large tree, looking around the cemetery with wide eyes. Sirius wondered for a moment if Harry was having flashbacks about Wormtail and Voldemort. But instead of bringing that back up, Sirius went and sat next to him.
"Do you want to go talk to them after Remus?" Sirius asked Harry quietly.
Harry looked up at him and shrugged. "I don't know what to say," he admitted.
"Whatever you want to say. Anything that comes to your mind. You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to, just being here is enough," Sirius said.
"But they can't hear me, can they?"
Sirius smiled and looked up into the blue sky. "They can hear you, Harry. They're always with you, don't ever forget that."
Harry thought for a moment. "I want to," he whispered.
"Okay."
Remus took a bit longer than Sirius had. Of course, Remus had been here more often and he probably had no qualms about figuring out what to talk about. When he reached the tree, Remus smiled sadly through his red-rimmed eyes.
"Are we ready?" he asked, slightly hoarse.
"Harry wants to say hi first," Sirius said.
Remus nodded and helped Sirius and Harry from the ground before leading them back to Lily and James. "Go on, Harry, it's okay," Remus urged, standing back for Harry to have some time alone with his parents.
Sirius and Remus watched silently as Harry sat cross-legged at the foot of Lily's grave.
Ten minutes later, Harry stood and walked back to Sirius and Remus, silent tears streaming from his bright green eyes. Sirius wordlessly picked up his godson and comforted him as they left the cemetery.
Later that night, after Harry had gone to bed, Sirius and Remus sat quietly on the sofa, flipping through various photo albums. The silence was only broken occasionally with a chuckle at a particularly humorous photo. Sirius turned to the final page of the photo album he had been looking through and smiled widely. It was possibly the best photo he had seen so far. Lily and James stood in the center, James bouncing Harry in his arms. Harry would occasionally giggle, showing off the only two teeth he had at the time. Sirius watched Lily wrap her arms around her two boys and hug them closely. All three of them looked so happy and carefree. Harry couldn't have been more than ten months old when this was taken.
Watching his family, Sirius didn't even think about what had happened to them; he had been so caught up in the good memories, he forgot to think about the bad for the first time in five years.
"You okay?" Remus asked again.
Sirius nodded, not looking away from the photo. "Yeah. For the first time in years, I think I am actually all right." He turned his head and returned the smile Remus was giving him.
"It felt good talking to them, didn't it?"
"It did actually; I was surprised how good it felt. I always thought people were stupid to talk to a stone when it obviously can't talk back. But now I see why they do it," Sirius said.
"Yeah," Remus said, looking into the burning fireplace.
The two friends sat together exchanging different memories of their lives for another hour before Sirius stood.
"Well, I should to get to bed. Moody wants to talk to me about something tomorrow, bright and early." Sirius cringed. "I'll see you in the morning, Moony."
Remus smiled. "Night, Padfoot. I'm glad you decided to go today," he said, following Sirius into the hallway.
Before going into his room, Sirius turned and smiled. "Yeah, me too."
Remus continued onto his own room, crawled into bed, and stared at the ceiling. He drifted off to sleep that night dreaming about stags, wolves, and dogs chasing each other around a large forest with a magnificent castle in the background.