Hearts Eye View – Chapter 09

Always Darkest

Disclaimer: George Lucas and Bioware own everything. I'm merely having some fun in their playground. Besides which, I'm just a poor, unemployed college graduate (woohoo!!!!) so suing me will get you nothing but the rights to my student loan payments.

Authors' Note: This chapter is fairly dark, depicting acts of torture and torment. While not graphic in nature, it may be disturbing to some people, so read with caution. Also, a scene in here directly contradicts events of Knights of the Old Republic 2. If that matters to you, consider yourself warned.

I awoke from darkness into darkness. When I tried to move, I felt my hands and feet bound. I slowly brought my senses back to their full strength, and I realized I was tied down to some kind of stone slab, tilted up at a rough angle. I was still clothed at least, though my lightsaber was gone, of course; better than I could have expected from Malak. I reached out to my bond with Revan, but it was too faint, almost non-existent. Wherever he was, we were too far apart. I hope he got my last message.

No sooner did I think his name, and in he walked. The lights flickered on, and I could tell I was in some kind of stone structure. It had the feel of a temple of some kind, an old one. Malak strode slowly towards me, his cloak shifting all his shoulder. "Ahhh, it is good to see you are awake, Bastila. I've so wanted to talk with you."

I just looked defiantly at him. "You shall get nothing from me, Malak. Kill me and be done with it."

"Kill you? Bastila, why would I want to kill someone as gifted as you?" his voice chuckling as he talked.

"Do you honestly think I would join a creature as despicable as you? I know what you want: my Battle Meditation. I would sooner embrace death than the darkness you represent."

The Dark Lord prowled around the room, barely paying any attention to me directly. "Oh, you will turn, Bastila. I know you will." With that statement, he turned towards me, and unleashed a hail of Force Lightning. I screamed, of course, and writhed on the stone slab I was shackled to. He would stop for a few moments to let me rest, then unleash it again.

He repeated the process several more times. I finally managed to gasp out, "you're a fool, if you'll think this will turn me to the Dark Side."

I could barely see him. My eyes hurt, and my muscles screamed in agony. I knew I could not stop the torture, but if I could just keep him gloating for a few minutes, I might at least catch my breath. "You are strong, child, but I will break you."

"I will never fall to the Dark Side." My tone had more confidence than I actually felt. Not that I had any doubts to my ability to remain true to the light; simply that I doubted my chances of survival. Revan and the others still had to locate the last Star Map, and there was no guarantee that I was near that location. This chamber I was being held in certainly didn't look like a Star Forge.

"You misunderstand me, Bastila. This is but a taste of the Dark Side. When you join us, it will be of your own free will."

"Never!" I spat venomously. Was this man that much of an idiot? I had sworn to uphold the tenets of the Order. I would never willingly forswear my allegiance. Malak just chuckled and resumed his demonstrations of Dark Side power.

I don't know how long we went on like that. Inside that room, there was no way to mark time, and our "talking" was a nightmare. It seemed to go on for an eternity, though it was probably not more than several days. I knew it would take nearly a fortnight to reach Korriban from Manaan, not counting however long it took to actually locate the Star Map. Plus, there was the travel time from Korriban to the Star Forge, assuming I was anywhere near there. I didn't feel drugged when I awoke the first time, so wherever I was must be within a few days travel of Manaan. That was heartwarming, at least.

I was eventually released from my place on the stone. Malak calculated rightly that repeated exposure to lightning would have an adverse effect on my muscles, rendering me incapable of all but the least intensive movement. I was fed nothing but dirty water and moldy bread, barely fit to eat. He was trying to break my body, and he was succeeding. I refused to let him break my spirit. Veran would come for me.

The next time he returned, he just walked in and circled me. "We have finished with the preliminaries, Bastila. I'm sure you're quite hungry. Answer me one question, and I will see to it that you have real sustenance this evening." I just ignored him. I would not give the time of day, even if I knew what that was.

"Why did you save him, Bastila? Why did you save Revan?"

Of all the questions I had expected, that was not one of them. After waiting a moment, I once again felt the caress of his lightning. In some ways, it was worse than the pain booth on the Leviathan. "Why did you save him, child? It is a simple question. Answering it will betray no one, except perhaps yourself."

I rolled onto my side and glared at him. "Has it been so long since you were a Jedi that you cannot answer that yourself? I saved him because a Jedi values life!" I croaked. My response was greeted with another burst of force lightning.

"That is what you get for lying. Now, tell me the real reason you saved him."

I gasped out, "I am not lying!" Another bolt lashed out. "Tell me, Bastila."

I started to cry. "I am telling you! Why won't you believe me?"

He hit me again with his power. I could feel my muscles spasming against my will. The pain was horrible enough, but the feeling of loss of control over my own body was worse. "Because you lie to yourself, not to me." I was in agony, yet he repeated the question over and over again, and every time I didn't respond or gave him a response he didn't like, he'd just do it again. This went on for what felt like hours, before he left me alone. I couldn't cry any more; I was out of tears. Veran, where are you?

After the third repetition of this question and answer session, I broke down. I had spent what little conscious time I could manage, replaying the events that led to my capturing Revan, trying to find an answer that would make the pain stop, but I couldn't think of one. I did what any Jedi would do in my position. Malak returned again, and I cringed visibly. "Are you ready to tell the truth now, Bastila?" I felt a flicker of energy pass over me, but he did not truly unleash that power again.

"Please…" I whispered. I knew a plea for mercy was idiotic, but I didn't want to go through this again. "Tell me!" he roared. I hadn't realized until that agonizing moment that he had been holding back. He wasn't any longer. My mouth opened but I couldn't scream. For an eternity, my entire world ceased to exist, and I was defined only as sheer agony. When he started to lighten the barrage, I knew I had to stop this. I tried to speak but could barely form sounds.

The assault ceased. I felt Malak's shadow fall over me as I writhed on the floor. "Say it," he muttered softly. Between gasps for air, I managed to speak it aloud. "Because I wanted to be the one who brought him back. I wanted the council to applaud my single-handedly salvaging the situation."

"That, dear Bastila, is the truth." With that, he turned and left, and I was allowed to sink into oblivion.

He actually left me alone, for a time. The food left for me was better, at least edible: clean water and broth of some kind. Part of me was ashamed for my blatant admission. Another part told me I was being foolish. What did it matter if I had my own reasons for doing the right thing? Ambition was hardly a sin. Malak would not twist that act. And if admitting one sordid detail about myself was all it took for a brief reprieve, what did it matter? The others would be here eventually. Waiting games served me, not him.

When he did finally return, I was capable of sitting up, if not actually standing to face him. "Ah, it's good to see you've regained your strength, child."

"Save your false sympathies, Malak. What question will it be now?" With my energy recovered somewhat, I could afford some imperiousness again.

"Have you ever wondered why Revan and I betrayed the Council?"

What was this? Why was he asking these questions? Hesitantly, I answered, "yes."

He looked at me, eyes blazing with an intensity I could not read as he answered.

"During the Mandalorian Wars, we realized the truth about the Jedi Council: they were nothing but a group of old men, sitting in their towers passing judgment over the galaxy without ever having walked in it! And for what? To protect the pockets of greedy senators? Bah! Revan realized what no one else at the time was willing to: we didn't need the Council! We didn't need the Order! We struck out on our own, and we accomplished the impossible!"

I couldn't help but sneer at this delusional man. "Yes, and in doing so, you came back and caused more deaths than all the Mandalorian atrocities combined. Truly, you are the fools, not the Council."

Malak's glare turned not hostile, but amused. "So you mean to tell me you've never defied the will of the Council? You've never once thought yourself above them?"

I hesitated. "Of course, I had. We all do at one point or another, early in the training. The only difference is that I did not let myself become blinded by such prideful ambitions."

The Sith Lord chuckled as he paces to the far side of the chamber, but said nothing at first. "What have the masters told you, Bastila? That you were important? Destined for something great?"

I kept my tongue. Yes, they had. Many times, sometimes till I was sick of it. "I'll take your silence as confirmation. Would you like to know a little secret? They tell that to all the Padawan and Knights, then they act like only they can guide you to your destiny."

"You know nothing, Malak." This was the best attempt at conversion he could come up with? Pitiful.

"We now proceed to the next question. How have they helped you realize that destiny, Bastila?" He swiveled to face me directly.

I just looked at him in disbelief. I expected questions about the strength of the order, how close we were to the Star Maps, not these games. "They have trained me in the Force, and they guide me on the path of light, so I will be able to meet my destiny."

My response was met with another wave of Force Lightning. "Wrong answer." He strode towards me, purposefully. I had almost forgotten what that felt like, and like a cut newly healed over, it ripped the wound open, more painful than the last time.

"What do you want from me, you despicable filthy spawn of a Hutt?!" I screamed at him with all my strength.

"I want you to look past the lies that have been woven around you all your life! I want you to see how the Jedi have bound, blinded, and enslaved you! You call me a monster, but I am no worse than they, and some might call me better for my honesty!" He grabbed me by my throat and picked me up off the floor. I tried to kick him in his groin, but his armor absorbed my feeble attempt at an assault. He then threw me against the wall. I felt one of my ribs give way as I impacted the stone surface.

"I know what you are hoping, Bastila. You think he will come for you, your dear Revan. And you know something? You're right. He will sweep in here and try to rescue you. But will it matter?" I looked up at him, my world spinning. The Sith Lord held out a holographic imager, and appearing before me was a secure-cam image of Revan and I standing next to the sea on Ahto City, looking at the stars.

My heart leapt at the memory of that night, all of it, and I cringed at the thought of what happened afterwards. "Yes, Bastila, I know what you feel for him. Would it surprise you to learn that I once loved him like a brother, despite my attempts to kill him? He always could inspire loyalty. Do you know how I lost my jaw?"

I could barely shake my head, though the stabbing in my chest was now beginning to fade. "I'm sure you know Revan preferred more subtle tactics to my more aggressive approach. He thought worlds should be taken as intact as possible, whereas I felt a few object lessons would show others the dangers of resisting. By now, you've heard all about Admiral Karath's attack on Telos, yes? How could you not, given your traveling companions. I was the one who ordered the devastation of Telos as a test. When Revan learned of it, he sliced my jaw off with a single wave of his blade. No warning, nothing. He did this... " he snarled, ripping off his collar, showing the travesty his face had become, "to his oldest friend and comrade! That is when I knew I would kill him and take his place. That is when my loyalty vanished."

He struggled to regain his composure, as he reattached his cybernetic replacement. "My point is, Bastila, is that no matter what you feel for him, the Council will never let you be together. You know this. Perhaps you've already tried to cut him off, 'for your own good' and all that other drivel."

Managing to slide to a sitting position against the wall, I grimaced as my rib shifted internally. "The rules against emotional attachments are what help protect us from the Dark Side."

Another barrage of Force Lightning ripped over my body, and I screamed again. This time I could taste blood in my mouth. I was beginning to bleed internally, whether from the rib or his repeated assaults I couldn't guess. "Those rules exist so you will not have divided loyalties. The council wants your only thought to be to serve them. It has grown late, Bastila, I will leave you to these thoughts. Until next time." Malak bowed as if he were a gentleman and left me alone in my stone prison.

I was tired; tired of the pain, tired of the hunger, tired of the denial. I wanted Veran to come save me, but Malak was right about one thing. Even if he did, I would never be able to stay with him. If the council found out about our feelings, and how could they not, then we would be separated. Even if they never learned of it, we would have to hide our feelings constantly, never being allowed to kiss or touch or… I tried to clear my head of these thoughts, but I needed something to hold onto.

I tried to use the Force to heal myself, but it was blocked here. I couldn't touch the Force. I had tried before, but had assumed it was the pain and stress that was preventing me from doing so. But Malak accessed it easily enough, or the Dark Side anyway. I had heard stories of places of dark power, where the light was blocked. Maybe this temple was one of them. That would explain why the bond was inert. Perhaps Veran thought me dead. Or he could have died on Korriban. There was no way to know. The thought sent me into a panic. I couldn't withstand Malak forever. He had to come… he had to…

As I lay there, I drifted in and out of consciousness. I remembered my training at the hands of Master Vrook; I remember Veran studying with Master Zhar. I remember being told about my destiny, as well as Veran's. But… I remember hearing snippets of other conversations between masters and apprentices. They were being told how special they were, what great things they would do. How many were told that? Was it just a form of positive reinforcement?

My mind started pondering all that Malak had said. What had they done for me? I had felt on more than one occasion that they were holding me back, but always chastised myself for such thoughts afterwards. I looked back on the war. They always sent me to the front lines, using my Battle Meditation to help keep the Republic from certain defeat. Yet, they never left the Enclave. Jedi fought and died by the hundreds in two separate wars, and the masters never left their enclave.

Resentment began to stir within me. I saw the faces of those Jedi who died trying to capture Revan. Why did they send a group of neophyte Padawan on such an important assignment? Why not one of the masters? Because I was so important, or because I was expendable? And then I remembered how Juhani came to embrace the Dark Side however briefly. It was a part of the training. Her master lured her into anger, and then let another Padawan clean it up, when it went back. Quatra did not even have the decency to stay and ensure a peaceful outcome. What if things had gone differently? What if Veran had not had the wisdom to reach her? The council would have sacrificed her for their object lesson. After all, why not? In either case, they would be able to judge the reborn Revan for themselves.

He was telling the truth. By the Force, Malak may be a twisted, brute of a man, but in this one instance, he was correct. I could see it now. The Council used me, used Revan, used all the Jedi. And what did we get for our loyalty? Death and betrayal. We were ripped from our parents at a young age. We were forbidden to love. We were forbidden to do anything that might make us think for ourselves. They stripped away all that made us who we are, and replaced it only with blind devotion to a group that cared nothing about us as individuals. The Sith may be evil, but how much more evil was it to manipulate those who believe in you and look up to you?

I began to cry as I realized all this, and I didn't fight it. I let all the pain and fright and resentment pour out of me and onto the floor of my prison. Malak was right. I loved Veran. I loved him, and I wanted to be with him, and I knew I would lose him if I were to remain with the Jedi. But what could I do? Even I could not fight the entire Order. I doubt Veran could either.

No. There is a way. That one thought sprung on me like a nexu from behind. If I could not be a Jedi, there was the Sith path. My heart trembled as I contemplated this. It would mean giving myself over to everything I despised, but could I truly serve the council anymore? Their manipulation and hypocrisy disgusted me. But could I truly give myself to the Dark Side?

That's when it all unfurled before my eyes: the path I could take. Malak was a brute. The worst atrocities of this war were to be lain at his feet. I could learn from him, then dispatch him myself, and take his place. After all, was that not the Sith way? He would no doubt expect this too, but that would be part of the challenge. I could end the war, and unite the galaxy, by killing him. And with the Republic gone, a new government could rise up, one that could actually accomplish things, not bicker over trivial details. Even a new order could be founded, borrowing upon both Jedi and Sith teachings. Yes…

And what of Revan? He knew the power of the Dark Side once. I was sure I could bring him back to it. Together, we would be unstoppable. I was not a military leader, but he was. He could rule the day, and I would be by his side, second only to him. At night… the thought made me smile as I thought of all the things Jedi were forbidden to do. Yes, at night we would be lovers, beholden to no one but ourselves. If he refused to see the true path, I would have to kill him though. The thought of that troubled me, but as I saw it, the ending would be no different than if we both stayed slaves of the council. It would be better this way. And I was sure I could persuade him to join me. I knew him like no other, thanks to our bond and the time we spent together.

All my life, I had been told my passions were something to be suppressed, restrained. All my life had failed at containing them. All my life, Vrook and the others had chastised me for this weakness. I remember the one time I let my passions free, that night on Manaan, on the Ebon Hawk. Passion was strength. Serenity had abandoned me here, to Malak's tender mercies. What would my passions do for me?

I reached down into myself, and called upon my resentment and fury at the council for using me, at Malak for torturing, and at myself for denying my true self for far too long. I felt the Force return to me, and my pain began to ease, both physical and spiritual. My rib mended itself, and my muscles ceased their throbbing. Strength filled me, a strength I had never known before. This was what I had kept from myself, what the Council sought to hide from me. This was true power, not the indentured servitude of the Order. I would have a glorious destiny, one of my own making, not the Jedi Masters'.

Malak returned shortly thereafter. I stood to face him, defiant. He stood in the doorway, looking at me. He raised his hand to unleash yet another burst of lightning. This time I raised my own hand, pulling the arcs of electricity into my hand, and then returned it to him. It struck him in the chest, and sent him stumbling backwards for a moment.

I just stood there, one hand on my hip, smirking. "I've had quite enough of that, Lord Malak. You'll need to learn new tricks if you want to try and terrorize me."

The so-called Dark Lord of the Sith looked at me with admiration. "I don't believe that will be necessary. Will it, Bastila? Or should I say, my apprentice?"

"No, I don't think it will, master." I let that word roll off my tongue like a piece of candy I had just licked up. I doubt Malak had any interest in physical pleasure given all that had happened to him, but he was still a male; still thought like one. He stepped from the doorway to let me out.

I walked slowly, stepping out into the corridor. "What now? I assume you won't trust me this easily."

I heard what that voicoder of his thought was a chuckle. "Of course not, child. There is one test you must pass. Come." He led me down a long corridor until we exited into a large hallway. There I could look out over a sea of some kind. So we were planetside. Interesting.

We circled the corridors until he led me to a door. All the doors, I now realized, bore a resemblance to the doors of the ruins on Dantooine. "What lies in here, Mal… master?"

"A gift, Bastila, fit for a Sith." With that, he waved his hand and the door opened. Inside, bruised and bloodied, was Master Vrook. "We took him from the enclave on Dantooine. He put up quite a fight, slaying many troops and Dark Jedi alike. But he, too, fell eventually."

Vrook looked up, to see me standing there in the doorway. "Ba… Bastila! What are you doing here?" He then saw me standing beside Malak. "I should have known. Your pride and arrogance has led you down the dark path, has it?"

I looked upon this weak, defiant shell of a man. He who took me from my father; who raised me from childhood; who never said a kind word to me; who constantly berated me for "letting my feelings get the better of me." This man, who took my life from me, and gave me nothing in return but criticism and judgment.

"No, master, it was your pride and arrogance that led me here. I have finally seen you for what you truly are." Darth Malak pulled the lightsaber from his belt and held it out to me. I looked back and forth from it to Vrook. I knew this was the moment of crisis. If I did this, I would be irredeemable. I hesitated.

Vrook saw his chance, and used his last ounce of strength to call upon the Force. How he managed it when I could not, I did not know. The lightsaber flew from Malak's hand to his. With the last of his strength, he rose to his feet and attacked. Malak stepped back, and sealed us in the room together. I could not believe this. He had left me here, unarmed!

My former master took a defensive stance. "I am sorry, child, but we cannot risk you falling to the Dark Side. With you at his side, Malak will be unstoppable." Typical. He did not try to reach out to me. He did not try to reason with me. I was nothing more than a special ability with great strategic value. If I could not be used to their ends, I was to be destroyed. With that, the last of my doubts vanished. I quickly sidestepped his first strike, and called upon the Force to send him flying back into the wall.

The old man recovered quickly, and tried to strike again. I unleashed my own Force Lightning upon him, only to have it parried by his blade. It seemed he still had some skill. He came at me again, but this time instead of dodging, I dropped and swept his feet out from under him with leg. He went crashing to the floor, and impaled himself on the lightsaber. Malak apparently did not believe in the pressure-sensitive activation plate in his lightsaber.

I looked upon the fallen form of my old master, and I felt something inside me die. While I did not cut him down with my own hand, I was responsible for his death, a master of the Jedi Council. Part of me recoiled at what I had allowed to happen; the rest of me exhilarated in it. I, who had been nothing more than a mere Padawan to them, had survived a battle with an armed Jedi Master. I was amazed at how weak they were. Had this been the man I had allowed to intimidate me all my life? No longer; I was my own person now.

Malak opened the door and saw Master Vrook lying dead on the floor, seemingly impaled by a lightsaber. "Very good, Bastila, just as I had hoped." Let him believe I had done it myself. "Thank you, master. Shall I assume I passed your test?"

"Oh you have, my apprentice. You have, indeed. Come, it is time to prepare." With that, he turned and led me down into the bowels of the temple.

"Prepare for what, master?" I realized what he meant as I inquired.

"For Revan."

Malak took me to the Star Forge. I was amazed at its size and power. I could feel the Dark Side emanating from its walls and was overwhelmed at the sheer implications of its existence. I knew now the Republic would be crushed. Even Malak's lack of tactical imagination could not help but be tempered by the armies I saw being amassed there. I also knew it held great secrets about the Force, that I would one day get Malak to show me.

In the following week, I built a new lightsaber to replace the one I lost on the Leviathan. I also designed a new outfit. I kept the basic cut of my dueling leathers, but instead of tan and brown, I used darkest grey, mixed with crimson red, even deeper than that of my new saber. Down the center I ran a filigree of gold. It was a thing of beauty, and I admired the way it hugged my form. Yes, I had spent far too long under the shadows of old fools. I would no longer hide any part of who I was. For the first time in my life, I thought of myself as beautiful, and I wanted to show it. Not that I'd let any of the dogs that served under Malak touch me. I wanted only one man. The first fool who tried lost his arm.

There were no subsequent attempts.

Finally, a month after I had been taken prisoner aboard the Leviathan, the day I had longed for finally came. The Ebon Hawk entered the Rakatan system, and made a controlled emergency landing on the island world. Malak gave me the news. "Revan is here, Bastila. He may be unwilling to enter the temple, but just in case, I want you to go there and wait for him. Kill him, and you will have proven yourself beyond all reproach."

"Yes, master. I look forward to besting a former Dark Lord of the Sith." I let the implications hang heavy in the air. He knew my ambitions. Malak was a fool, but not an idiot. I had no intention of killing Revan. Fighting, yes, but not killing. I took a small shuttle down to the temple roof, and waited there, near the controls for the inhibitor field. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he came to me.

Scant hours later, I saw three figures approach. Apparently Revan decided to bring Juhani and Jolee along. Disappointing, as I wanted to talk to him alone, but it changed little. My power had grown. I could handle a senile old man and a cat who was scared of her own shadow. First, I would have to goad Revan into battle. The computer on Kashyyyk was correct: battle seemed to reveal his true self.

I stepped out of the shadows of the archway. "I knew you'd come. Malak thought you'd be afraid to enter the temple again, but he doesn't know you like I do; not anymore. Not since you've changed."

Revan looked me over, and I could see the trepidation in his eyes. He knew something was wrong. The Cathar was not so perceptive. "Quickly, Bastila! We must escape before Malak arrives!"

I laughed derisively at her. "Escape? I have no need to escape. I have sworn myself to Lord Malak and the Sith. I am no longer a pawn of the Jedi Council." I let my words sink in. Juhani looked confused. Pathetic creature. Jolee just wore that same tired look that meant he was troubled. Revan just looked at me with shock.

"What do you mean a pawn of the council?" he asked slowly.

I turned to face him, placing both hands on my hips, letting the right one brush my lightstaff's hilt. "Surely you know what I mean, Revan. Look at what the council did to you. They turned you into their puppet, as they do with all who are strong in the Force. They speak of the Dark Side as if it is something to be feared. In reality, their only goal is to manipulate us into being their tools. Surely you've seen it! Fear of the Dark Side is a tool to maintain control!"

"Why do you think they forbade you from joining the Mandalorian Wars?" I moved towards him, closing the distance between us. He held his ground, shaking his head in disbelief. This was going to prove harder than I had anticipated. "They knew you'd realize your true potential, and through off their domination. Malak has shown me how the Council has been using me the same way they used you. They've been holding us back because they knew we would surpass them all!"

"How could you betray us, Bastila?" The pathetic look in his eyes said what he truly felt. "How could you betray me?" He was in the same denial I was submersed in. I would show him the way.

I folded my hands behind my back. The others didn't make a move. Fools. If they had any wits in them at all, they could have tried to capture me, not that it mattered. "I resisted at first. I endured the Sith torments with the passionless serenity of a true Jedi. But after a week of endless torture, I saw the truth." I also saw him flinch. Ah, he was feeling guilty about not getting here sooner; another weak spot on which to prey.

"Malak forced me to acknowledge my anger and pain. He showed me all that I could gain by embracing these emotions, not hiding from them! He made me see what the Jedi Council what was mine by right! They gladly used my Battle Meditation for their own ends, but all the while, they treated me like a child!"

I moved my hands back to my hips. It was almost time. "They were jealous of my power, of what I could become; of what we could both become!" He had to see how strong I was now. If I could just find that part of him that remembers what it was like… "They wanted me to bow and call them 'Master' and follow their code and obey their every order. All they really wanted was to exploit my powers for their own use!"

Revan took a step forward, as if trying to reach out to me. "Don't listen to these lies, Bastila!"

"Lies? You are the one living a lie, Revan!" He had to be made to see things, just as I did. This was a delicate game, but I was sure of myself. He cared for me, and I could use that to bring him to me. "The Jedi Council programmed you to be something you are not; they made you their slave."

I took my own step forward, bringing us close, but not too close. Everything was ready. "You used to be Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith, but no longer. Now you are just a simpering pawn of the Jedi Council and the Republic they serve, like I was, until Malak freed me of their shackles."

It was time for the final stab. I had to open these wounds, trying to find that dark part of him that I saw on Taris as it was burned to the ground by the Sith fleet, or by my treatment at the hands of the Black Vulkars. No matter what name he used, he was still Revan, and he could be again. "A pity the power you once had is so diluted. You could have been even stronger than I am now, but that will never happen. With the power of the Star Forge, Malak will destroy the Republic and conquer the galaxy, and I will be the apprentice by his side after I prove my worth by killing you!"

And with that I snapped my lightstaff on and lunged at him. He barely brought his own blade up in time. Jolee and Juhani were completely taken aback by this sudden move, and it took them a moment to ready themselves. With that moment, I kicked Juhani in the face knocking her aside. As I parried a half-hearted thrust from Revan, I used the power of the force to send Jolee flying back into the chamber they had just exited from.

Seeing his friends fall, Revan turned his full strength against me. I was amazed at his skill. The look in his eyes; the hurt and betrayal; yes, I had done my job well. He was not using the Dark Side directly, but he was skirting its edges. Just a little more… I fell back beneath his rapid strikes, and suddenly I was thankful he was only using a single blade. My goading him succeeded. Now it was time to finish this.

I stumbled back and deactivated my saber. The honorable Jedi of course disengaged theirs. How predictable. I looked at Revan with admiration. "You are stronger than I would have thought possible. Malak was wrong; the power of the Dark Side is not lost to you after all, Revan."

He just looked at me sympathetically as Jolee and Juhani returned to flank him. "I draw my power from the light now, Bastila. Who I was is irrelevant."

I sneered at that platitude. "You can deny what you are, Revan, but I know who you truly are. I have seen the shadows in your mind. Remember, I was there the day you nearly died. When I saved you, I touched that part of you that seethed with the Dark Side. I used the Force to save your life, and we are forever linked by my actions on that bridge!"

He moved to me, as if to touch me but I stepped back. This isn't how it was supposed to be. "That's how I know you will return to the light, Bastila."

Would I never hear the end of the Jedi clichés? I was to turn him, not the other way around. "These are not your true feeling, Revan. You are speaking as a tool of the Jedi, as I once did, only now I see them for what they truly are. The Council cared nothing for you or any of us! They wanted to exploit our bond so you would lead us to the Star Forge! We were nothing more than slaves to their will, like all those who follow the Jedi Code."

I retook the initiative. I quickly moved forward and grabbed his shoulder, and I looked up into his eyes, pleading. "On that bridge that day, I touched something: the real you. I felt its dark power and it both scared and excited me. I resisted it at first, but now I embrace the power of the Dark Side: your Dark Side!"

He tried to pull himself free of my grip but not without much strength. His eyes searched mine, and I could see his dilemma. "What are you saying, Bastila?"

"You deserve to be the Dark Lord of the Sith, not Malak! Together we can destroy your old apprentice, and you can reclaim your lost identity!" The world seemed to fade around us. I was reaching him. There was a spark in his eyes. He was considering it!

"How can we reclaim my identity? I don't remember anything."

I ran my hand over his cheek, and stared up into his eyes longingly. "Your mind was too badly damaged for you to ever fully recover, Revan, but your power, your strength of will, your charisma; the essence of what and who you are still remains!"

I pressed myself against him. So close now. Our lips were only inches apart. Just a little further and he would be mine forever. "You defied the council once and claimed the title that was rightfully yours: Dark Lord of the Sith. Together, we can defeat Malak and return you to your rightful place. And I could be your apprentice…" I let the idea trail off, the slightest hint of desire placed on the last word.

Juhani's voice ruined that near-perfect moment. "Bastila, it is not too late for you to be saved! The teachings of the Jedi can lead you back to the light, as it once did for me." I turned my head just enough to stare balefully at her

"You are beneath my contempt, Juhani. One taste of the Dark Side and you ran into a cave to hide like some cowering animal. You know nothing of the Force or its true potential!" I turned back to my lover, and slid my hand slowly down his chest. "But you, Revan, the power of the Dark Side is yours to command! You can use it to destroy Malak! We need no longer fear the council, or anyone else! We can finally be together!"

Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Our eyes once again met, and I could see the conflict within them. He wanted me, and he could not deny what I had said. It all came down to this. He took me into his arms, and then slowly pushed me away. "Darth Revan is dead, Bastila. I may not agree with the Council, but I am a servant of the light now."

And that was it. All my dreams and hopes and plans for us, crushed with that one sentence. In retrospect, I imagine he must have felt the same way when I fled from him, back on Manaan. How could he reject me? This was our only chance to be together, and he would throw it away? For what? How could he be so foolish. I resigned myself that this would be it. But I would not kill him. I needed to sort through all this. I knew I could bring him to the Dark Side. What did I do wrong?

I sneered at him and let all the pain of this rejection lash out at him. "You are a pathetic fool, Revan. Together we could have defeated Malak and ruled an empire, but now I shall be at Lord Malak's side instead!" With that, I unleashed a wave of the Force to knock them all back while I rushed to my shuttle. As I piloted my way back to the Star Forge, I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, so Malak would not see them.