Author's Notes: I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to the
reviewer who raised the issue about time travel and the way I treated it. I
have a two responses, the first being WOW!!! I am completely astounded by
what I read (and re-read), trying hard to understand exactly what you are
saying. I'm afraid I just can't wrap my mind around it.
You remind me of a student I had in an honors philosophy seminar once--we were having a free-ranging discussion dealing with everything from Descartes to Sarte and existentialism to Theravada Buddhism. Anyway, one student listened as I tried to give a wrap-up for of these ideas, looking for commonalities and differences. He raised his hand to voice an objection and ended up giving a thirty-minute presentation on Chaos Theory and its religious and ethical implications. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I was so pleased, so humbled, and so delighted by that experience. He was (and still is, I'm sure) a remarkable person
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I humbly admit to my short-comings (which are many) in understanding theories and scientific law. I know nothing at all of physics, etc. I think you are saying nicely that my scenario is unrealistic that this takes away from the story's efficacy for you. I'm sorry, I really am.
I love sci-fi stories that are based on what may be possible and the ethical/technological implications these stories raise. I read a story once about a tachyonic telephone created by a man in the future to send a message back to 1960's to alter the future (the earth was dying from pollution). Very cool story, and from what I understand from a physics professor friend who also teaches sci-fi fiction, theoretically possible.
My second response is not defensive--I hope! I don't believe in demons, half- demons, angels, men with cursed black-holes in their hands, etc. (not that I am closed to any possibilities, I just haven't met any yet!). I don't spend time looking for gateways existing to other dimensions or times either. Still, I love thinking about these ideas as STORY, for entertainment, which means suspending my own beliefs. Some of the sci-fi channel's offerings like Sliders (older show), Farscape (I'm so pissed it's gone!), and Star Gate are so fun! The Inuyasha premise and the possibilities the author has generated with her wonderful ideas have spawned countless fanfics, a testament to the power of creativity sparking creativity.
Like I said at the beginning, this story is an amateur's attempt at writing romance within a sci-fi genre, and I'm doing it for FUN! If this works for you at all, I am assuming that you can overlook my lack of grounding in scientific theory as much as my lack of Japanese culture. I promise if I ever try to write a novel for publication I will at least attempt to do some research to make it as believable as possible!
Finally, about Paul—no he's not an afterthought. Kagome herself is not the most believable as I have created her (19, academically gifted to the point of genius, gorgeous, talented singer, and with powerful supernatural abilities to boot—not to mention that she's still a virgin!) Anyway, I thought it would make sense that at 19, she had at least ONE regular human boyfriend in her experience—sorry again if it doesn't work, but I appreciate the feedback!
Sorry this is so long—Thank you again to all my reviewers for taking the time. Now, on with the story. . . .
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Chapter 18 More Confusion
She turned around swiftly and walked away. 'Let him chew on that for awhile! I didn't want to throw it in his face that he called me "Kikyo" more than once, but he is being such a jerk about this! It hurt, but I never acted like I hated him for it!'
' But. . . ,' a little voice continued, 'calling you Kikyo would be an easy mistake. You look like her, you've seen that yourself. You are her reincarnation, so it's only natural to confuse you. In what way does Inuyasha even remotely resemble Michael?'
She confused an angel with a half-demon. She shook her head at herself as she walked away, sardonically smiling in disbelief. 'Confusing opposites is a little harder to understand than confusing copies! I guess he does have a reason to be really, really pissed. . . . still, I pray he forgives me.'
She came back to camp to find only Shippo and Kaede waiting for her. Miroku and Sango had gone off to look for the plant demon. A boy from the next village, just three miles away gave Kaede the news of a fresh attack.
Kaede asked how things had gone with Inuyasha. "Not well. I think he's really mad at me this time, and I need to give him some time to cool-down. He doesn't care how sorry I am."
Kaede gave a sympathetic nod, but said nothing more.
"Kaede, how long ago did Sango and Miroku leave?"
"About twenty minutes ago on Kirara."
"Shippo, I'm going to try to catch-up to them. You stay here with Kaede, okay?"
"Kagome no! I want to come with you. You may need my help. I can protect you just like Inuyasha."
"I know you can Shippo," she said, looking into his small face seriously, not wanting to hurt his feelings by smiling now. "But I really want you to stay and protect Kaede. What if that thing comes here and she's alone?"
"Kagome, come on. I've been going into battles ever since you found me. Please don't make me stay!" he begged, grabbing her leg and hanging on, tears in his eyes.
Kagome knew they were crocodile tears, but he was right. He was part of their group and was rarely left behind. His foxfire attacks and abilities to become invisible and transform had made critical differences too. He was brave, cunning, and selfless in battle. As young as he seemed to her, she also knew he was older, older than a human his size would be. Also, he was aged by the painful experience of losing his family and watching his parents die. She wanted to protect him, but he deserved to come.
"Oh Shippo, you know I can't say no to you. You'll have to hold on to me tight though, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to run."
"Like Inuyasha runs with you on his back?"
She shook her head. "Not anywhere close to that fast, but as fast as I can."
"Let's go!" he said.
"Okay, I just need to get two things out of the hut and we're off."
Kagome hurried inside. She grabbed her MP3 and strapped it to her arm and put in hear earphones. She also grabbed her Ray-Bans with the sports strap and put them on, covering her eyes from the mid-day glare. When she got back outside, she picked up her quiver and bow and bent to check her shoe laces before starting off.
"You look funny Kagome!" Shippo said. 'Yeah, like some kind of Japanese time-traveling terminator,' she thought. 'Maybe I'll start saying to demons before they die: "you are terminated, fucker!" I wonder if I can do a German accent?'
She smiled thinly at her own silliness. She was trying hard to keep her mind off Inuyasha, but not succeeding. She wished he was with her now.
"What are those things on your eyes?"
They're called sunglasses. They keep the sun out of my eyes. 'And the energy from my eyes safely away from my friends,' she thought. "Are you ready?"
Shippo nodded, jumped on her back, and held on tight. Waiving goodbye to Kaede, the pair took off for the village to the northeast, Kagome listening to ELO's "Hold On Tight To Your Dreams" as she ran.
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Back in the forest, Inuyasha sat in a high tree, thinking about her parting words. She had a point, he knew. He had called her Kikyo before, and sometimes she would pout and not speak to him for hours afterward. He knew he should just let this go, but he was deeply disappointed. 'Tonight was to be the night I asked Kagome to become my mate,' he thought bleakly. 'I can't do that now. I don't know if it will ever happen, or if it is even possible.'
He knew that since he fully realized his feelings toward her he had been moving fast, maybe faster than was wise. Did it really make any sense to mate while they were in the middle of this quest? What if she got pregnant, then what? Was he ready for that, to have two lives to protect in the face of constant danger? No, he knew his thinking was rash, 'If only that bastard wasn't forcing the issue.' If it wasn't for Michael, threatening to confess his feelings at any moment and showing he had the power to take her away from him in the blink of an eye, there would be time later to sort-out their feelings.
He was having a hard enough time just accepting the changes in her and in his own awakening feelings. He also knew there was more about her he didn't know yet.
Just what had happened to her in the past two years to cause such changes to her personality? She was bolder, more independent. She had a new confidence too. Her good humor was still there, but there was something underneath it, underneath what she wanted to show everyone else. There was a deep sadness in her, a pain he could sense like a heavy scent. Why did she carry this sadness? He wanted to help her, to hold her and protect her, to make it leave her, but he didn't know how. He didn't know what could have caused this.
Because of Michael, he didn't have the luxury of time if he wanted a chance to claim her, but he couldn't act on his feelings while she was so confused.
He wasn't angry any more, he was hurt. He was hurt by her confusion about what Michael meant to her. He wanted to hear her say that Michael was only her protector, and no more. He wanted to hear her say that she loved him, but she hadn't.
'But did you ask her?'
'Well, maybe not exactly,' he answered himself, 'But I did ask her who meant more to her and she couldn't give a straight answer. She wasn't lying. She really doesn't know.'
'True,' his thoughts circled back again, 'but still. . . .maybe you should ask, just to be certain. Are you ready to forget about mating because her feelings are unclear to you?'
'No, but damn it, she needs to choose! Him or me. That is what I'll tell her–she needs to make a choice, right now.'
****************************************
Kagome had made good time getting to the village. The land was flat and the spring day not too hot. She wished she had taken some extra water with her. Her earlier run and carrying Shippo were tiring her faster than she expected, and she knew she needed to replenish herself soon.
As she ran into the village, she heard sounds of women crying. People looked askance at her, a strangely dressed woman with a demon-child on her back, but no one spoke to her. Two men had died today in the attack, and their wives and children were being consoled by other women.
"Please," Kagome said, approaching a woman bringing food to one of the grieving families, "can you point me in the direction where the men were attacked?"
The woman looked at her suspiciously but didn't respond.
When she realized she was still wearing her glasses, she pulled them down to show the woman she did have normal eyes.
"Please! It's very important!" Kagome asked again, hoping she had put the woman at-ease.
"Why?! Why would you want to know that? You're a very rude and foolish girl!"
"Maam, I mean no disrespect to you or any of those grieving today. What happened here was terrible. Two of my companions are already here, fighting the demon that did this. I came to help them. Please, will you tell me?"
The woman looked at Kagome again. What she noticed, beyond her appearance, was her arrows. She raised a skeptical eyebrow at her, but her tone had changed.
"You look a lot like the younger girl I saw not four months ago. She was dressed strangely too, but differently than you. Are you her sister?"
Kagome wasn't sure how to answer. Obviously she came through here recently in this time, but she didn't remember clearly. This village blurred with all the others in her memories, and as her older self, it made sense that she would be taken as her own sister.
"Uhmm, yes, that's right. I am. Now, will you please help me?"
"Head towards the mountains. The thing seems to have been laying in waiting. The men went hunting this morning when they were attacked," she said, pointing her swollen, arthritic finger toward the northwest.
Kagome nodded in thanks.
Shippo was still holding on tight, his grasp tightening with his mounting tension. As she ran to the music, she became aware of something, a feeling inside her body like a pulse. She reached up absentmindedly and pressed the volume down button. She felt it distinctly, two beats, growing stronger with each step, mirroring the rhythm of her own heart. "Shards," she thought. "I don't just sense them, I feel them, calling me."
She had not expected to feel this, it was a new sensation. It was stronger, more demanding than the general sense of them she had always had. She ran on. The sky grew steadily darker in the area they were moving into, and the smell of fresh blood and death assaulted the fox-demon's keen nose. "Kagome, be careful. I think this thing is–"
"AHEAD!" Kagome yelled. She had been distracted by the music, by her own thoughts. If she hadn't looked up, she would have run straight into it. What she saw made her stomach and chest tighten in dread. The demon was in front of them and it was immense, sprawling. It wasn't a plant demon at all, but some kind of immense brown snake. The entire top of its body was covered with green. They were vine-like growths sprouting tendrils and spiked leafy projections out in every direction. The plant layer was obviously the thing's camouflage. It was why she had not seen it earlier, how it had killed so many unsuspecting victims. Once she approached its lair, the thing raised up, revealing it's brown underbelly.
The monster's head was undifferentiated from its body. It undulated as its body raised the head above the trees, towering above her. It knew she was there, but it was looking in the wrong direction. She noticed in fascinated horror the bands of skin that expanded and contracted as the thing moved. The air turned putrid, it was a stench from the deepest bowels of the earth- -decay, humus, and the vaguely sweet scent of rotting meat.
Kagome closed her eyes, willing herself not to throw-up. 'It probably can hone-in on the sound of someone retching,' she warned herself. 'Keep it together. Stay calm. You can do this, you must.' It turned it's head toward them and Kagome realized it had no eyes, no face at all. The head was smooth, bulbous. Not even a mouth was visible. She realized with horror why.
"HOLY SHIT! This is no snake demon! It's a nightcrawler from hell!"
With a move so sudden Kagome didn't have time to react, the monster rounded on her, its faceless head, almost level with the ground, only yards away. It sensed her now, and was moving in. It's mouth, she realized with horror, was somewhere on the underside of the mammoth head, "Probably a slit with barbs at the opening," her mind recalling details from invertebrate zoology on it's own, trying to avoid what was immediate, what was bearing down on her now.
Without thinking, the spell was activated. The monstrous head and the lower- half of the body that were closing in where thrown back. The demon twisted and writhed in the air as it was sent flying. Behind her, she heard someone scream.
"Shippo!" He was repelled at the same time and went flying back into the grass. She watched in horror as he landed. Her eyes grew huge as he screamed. "AAARHG! KAGOME! I'M HURT!"
She starred in horror, realizing Shippo hadn't landed in grass, but in a loop of the demon's plants. Thorny tendrils held him, snagged in his clothes, his body, held onto his tail. The more he tried to move, the more embedded the plant's hooks became. "IT BURNS!" he cried fear and pain. "IT BURNS!" Kagome realized the thorns were releasing some kind of toxin. This is how the blind headed demon immobilized it's victims, she quickly understood, making them easier to find.
"SHIPPO! HOLD ON! I'M COMING!" 'Focus NOW!' she commanded herself. She was not in danger, but Shippo was. She knew she had to act fast. She loaded an arrow and shot at the head, missing. 'Shit!' she thought. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't focus. She was too scared for Shippo to focus. She had to get past the fear if she was going to be able to save him.
'You can't be scared--Fear is death! Fear is death!' her mind screamed. But she felt herself drifting away, leaving the pain, leaving the fear, as her mind struggled for escape from the dread. 'Fear is darkness. . . .' Her eyes were loosing focus. She watched from behind her glasses a blurry scene as the head demon's came down, positioned directly over Shippo.
He was screaming, crying, and unable to move. He was far, far away from her, hundreds of years away. She was letting go-- 'NO! GO BACK NOW!' her mind commanded, bringing her back to the moment she desperately wanted to leave behind. 'Shippo. . . . That goddamned monster is going to kill him, it's going to kill this child--this child I love like my own--MY CHILD!'
A surge of white-hot anger shot through Kagome, physically causing her to shudder with the impact of the jolt.
"NO YOU DON'T, YOU GODDAMNED BITCH!" She screamed. With speed powered by miko energy, she fired four arrows one after another, directly into the head in nightcrawler. The head exploded, raining down a shower of hot, clear fluids on Shippo. If the thing's tendrils weren't holding him fast, he would have been carried away in their quick flood. Headless, the body flopped down with a quake. A rush of steamy, putrid juice flowing from the severed ending.
Kagome saw Shippo through the blue-white haze of her energy. She held out her right hand and threw her head slightly back, eyes open. "Come Shippo, grab the light and hold on. hold onto the light."
***********************************
Inuyasha was still thinking about her words, trying to convince himself that confronting her now was the right course of action. 'I want her and she wants me. It should be easy now. Why is nothing with this woman easy?. . . She's confused, but she needs to choose. I will make her choose. But, what if I'm not her choice? What then? Am I ready to hear her say those words? If I ask her to choose now, I might loose her. If only she weren't so damn confused, stupid woman. I've shown her how I feel, practically told her. What more am I supposed to do now?. . .'
'Michael said this was "a game." That asshole. This is no game. Still, he has the advantage. He's part of her time, her world, and she's bound to him now. She feels something for him too, I know. It's new, but it's strong. His hold on her--what is it?. . ."
His thoughts were broken off by his instincts. He tensed, ears twitching, scanning the quiet forest for something amiss. Every sense was in high alarm. Something was wrong. He tore through the skies, back at Kaede's in under three minutes. He arrived to a deserted scene, but his nose told him a human was still here.
"Kaede!" He yelled. "Where are you hag!"
Kaede came through the door of her hut, looking puzzled. "Inuyasha, what's wrong? Why are so–""Where's Kagome?!" he demanded.
"Inuyasha, she left with Shippo almost an hour ago. They went to go help Sango and Miroku battle the plant demon in the next village," she explained.
"WHAT?!" he said, towering threateningly over the old woman. "YOU LET HER GO BY HERSELF?! YOU JUST LET HER GO?!!" Every fang glared menacingly at her as she was accosted by his temper.
"You expected me to force her to stay when she knew her friends were fighting?" she asked blandly, turning away from the angry hanyou.
"WHY DOESN'T THAT DAMN BITCH EVER LISTEN TO ME?! I told her to stay the fuck here!" he yelled back, turning to leave.
"And when has Lady Kagome ever done as you've commanded, hmm?" she snapped back to no one. He was gone, leaping through the trees and sky in flashes of red.
*********************************************************************
As she held up her hand, a hazy blue light that steamed forth, hitting the surface of the plant growths and withering them in their purifying heat. Shippo was free, standing shoulder-deep in dead vines and dust.
He was hurt, cut in many places, and felt burning stings under his skin in many painful places. But when she spoke to him, the pain left-- "Come Shippo, grab the light and hold on. hold onto the light."
He felt no fear now, no pain, only a sense of calm and safety. He reached out to the light, let it take him. He was lifted soundlessly and gently, surrounded by an aura of Kagome's energy, he was carried to her waiting arms.
"Shippo," she nuzzled into the child's furry ear. "Oh Shippo! Are you all right?"
The child nodded "Yes, yes Kagome. You saved me. I love you."
"I love you too, sweet boy!" Kagome smiled in relief and let out a deep breath. Holding this child, knowing he was safe, was enough.
That's when she heard Sango's scream. Gently placing Shippo down on solid, worm-free ground, she turned. Behind her she could now see what had been blocked by the half of the monster's body she destroyed. Miroku and Sango were caught in a deadly battle with the nightcrawler's other half. A head, identical to the one she just destroyed loomed above them. Sango was on lying on the ground, holding her side in pain. Miroku was standing in front of her, protecting her with his own body. He was holding up his staff in his hand with the wind tunnel. She could see his staff was emitting a spiritual energy, but it wasn't strong enough to stop the demon's advance, only to barely slow it.
"Shippo! Stay here! I need to go help them!"
Without waiting for his reply, she was running behind the head. The ground was hilly and unstable, like a landmine field. The monster's body was everywhere, hidden by its growths, looping and twisting in wide swaths of the surrounding field. Kagome had to run looking down, carefully watching for patches where vines and tendrils blended among the high meadow grasses.
Up ahead, the ground was an ugly tangle of earthworm. There were no more patches of safe land for footing. She was trapped on both sides and ahead, the only free way, to go back. Miroku and Sango were in trouble now. Sango was standing again but she looked wobbly. She was leaning on her boomerang, and it looked like she was going to attempt to lift it. 'If Miroku opens his wind-tunnel to suck that thing in, will he be able to close it again?' she thought, panicked. The worm was vast. She was worried that if he tried to save Sango by opening it, the hole to grow to the point where he would be swallowed too.
Kagome saw the back of the giant ugly head. 'If only I could get closer!' There was no time. She was out of range of the arrows, she knew, but she had to try. 'If I can send out an energy channel and keep it open, could the arrow ride it?' She had never tried to use her energy like this before. It would require timing and a focus she didn't know if she had. She was running on pure adrenaline, but she was nearly spent. 'If I can do this, I only get one chance.'
She brought her bow round front over her left shoulder. Standing straight with her eyes closed behind her glasses, she held out her right hand. 'No fear, no fear, no fear, no fear,' she chanted to herself. 'Find your energy, bring it forth, focus, Kagome. Focus now!'
She opened her eyes as they flashed to white behind her glasses, and once more a stream of pure blue energy emitted from her palm. She held her arm high, pointing the beam at the monster's head.
Where the energy connected with the demon there was a sound of fire erupting. Her energy was boring a hole through it's thick skin. In pain, the head and lower body swiveled around on a segment, searching for the source of its aggravation. The thing made no sound, but the sound of its movements were horrifying, the wet friction of segments twisting, it's spineless form undulating toward her.
Still focused on her energy beam, Kagome loaded an arrow and fired.
Inuyasha surveyed the battle from above, saw the thing turn, advancing toward Kagome. 'That light coming from her–I've never seen her do that before!' he thought as he witnessed a wavering band of soft blue light extending from Kagome's hand to the demon's head.
He landed on back of the nightcrawler's head, sword in his hand.
Kagome's arrow veered from her energy stream just the slightest, hitting the side of the mouth instead of dead center. The arrow hit just as Tetsusaiga severed the head from the body. A rush of hot fluid's fell freely above Kagome, but she was beyond its reach. She watched as the body fell, a repeat of what she had seen only minutes before. Across from her in the field of steaming worm remains, Inuyasha stood, sword still drawn, wind billowing through his white hair. They locked eyes from across the distance.
Suddenly he yelled, "Kagome! Look out!" She turned round.
The half of the monster behind her was rising, a shiny, new end rounding the body, a head that only minutes before had been destroyed. 'Shit!' she realized in dawning horror. 'It's growing new heads!'
Almost as soon as she thought that she looked back towards Inuyasha to see another new head budding from the severed stump. Kagome was struck with an idea. 'I pray this works,' she thought.
"Inuyasha!" she screamed at him across the field. "We have to severe both heads from the ends at the same time! Wait until the head grows back at your end before you attack. It won't die unless both heads die together!"
He gave a nod in understanding and, without time for further communication, Kagome turned back round to face the new head that now was searching for her again. She knew Inuyasha had to wait for the head at his end to fully emerge before attacking. They would have to be perfectly synchronized in their actions.
"INUYASHA!" she yelled back, "Signal when you are ready!" She hoped he heard her. Her mind was so distracted she forgot about his demon hearing. She waited only a couple of seconds and tossed an arrow into a large patch of vines to her side. Instantly the vines came to life, grabbing the arrow and piercing its shaft with thorns. At the same instant, the new head whirled round.
"Come and get me, bitch!" Kagome said, readying her bow.
She heard Inuyasha give a battle cry and knew Tetsusaiga was in motion. With the mouth descending above her like a collapsing tower overhead, Kagome fired straight up into the center of the head, releasing two arrows. There was a deafening sound, as twin explosions occurred across the vast space of the field. Inuyasha had sliced his head clear off, and was splattered by fresh guts. A stream of fluids also hit Kagome this time, hot and putrid. The ground was burning everywhere, blackened and on fire as the areas of field that were the monster's body were burning.
Shippo ran to Kagome, clinging to her.
"Kagome! Kagome!" he called. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine!" she tried to smile reassuringly. "Are you okay?" she asked, bending down to pat his head. He winced where she touched him, sore from the plant's stingers, but he nodded yes.
"Shippo let's go check on the others."
The kitsune hopped up in her arms and Kagome felt herself sway woozily. "Shippo honey, are you up to walking? I'm afraid I might be too tired to carry you just now."
He looked momentarily hurt, but nodded yes again. "Okay, just be careful not to step in any of the burning areas. There could still be some thorns."
He nodded again, and they started walking, but only had taken a few steps before Inuyasha swept down, lifting them both up in his arms. Airborne with her head against his chest, Kagome whispered "Thanks." He heard her, but didn't respond to her words. He could tell as soon as he touched her there something was wrong with her, she looked drained, and her pulse was weaker than normal. He landed by Miroku and Sango, intent to question her about what was wrong, but as soon as he let go of her waist, she ran to the two humans.
"Miroku, Sango, are you guys okay?"
"Yes Lady Kagome. Thanks to your timely assistance and Inuyasha's arrival. I have never seen a demon so immense on the ground before! Your aim is truly remarkable, and I am sorry for offending you earlier."
"Miroku, don't worry. I'm just glad you're okay!" she smiled weakly.
Sango winced and Kagome looked at her in alarm, remembering she had been hurt earlier. "It's nothing Kagome," she said. "I was thrown off Kirara when we were attacking the first head from the air. I landed hard and some of its plants stung me. It feels like a giant bee-sting, but I'll be okay."
Kagome nodded. "Shippo got stung badly too. I think we better get back to Kaede's and clean up. She noticed that Inuyasha was rubbing his arm as well.
"Inuyasha?" she asked.
"I'm fine Kagome, I landed in the wrong spot after I sliced its damn head off, but the fucker only stung me once. It's you who–""
Kagome interrupted him "Sssh!" she commanded. "Let me get the shards." Their rhythm was faster now, more persistent, and she could feel her own heartbeat responding to their call.
The group looked at each other puzzled. No one had suspected there would be jewel shards connected with this demon and Kagome hadn't said anything earlier. Inuyasha watched her with a mixture of concern and awe, keenly aware of what was happening to her.
The shards were drawing her to them, like a heartbeat in her head, the pulse of them almost deafening. She had never sensed shards so intently as she did now, and their call overpowered ever other sense, even her own fatigue.
"Where Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded.
She walked over the charred and smoking earth, bent down and picked up a shard where the head closest to Miroku and Sango had been. Holding it in her hand, feeling her pulse, interweave with hers, she felt stronger. Without calling it into focus, her power flowed freely through her hand, a blue light mixing with the shard's soft, pink glow. The shard was purified by her touch, and somehow, Kagome had regained some strength from touching it as well. Inuyasha watched her run back to where the other head fell, the spot still smoking and on fire. Inuyasha gasped as he watched her reach through fire without hesitation and retrieve a second shard, unburned. She smiled back at him happily, a victory smile. Even covered in demon stench and grime, she looked radiant as Inuyasha watched her walk back to them, holding two new shards.
Before she reached them, the sky darkened to an ominous black above them. The immediate hum was deafening and unmistakable--hundreds of Naraku's giant wasps emerged from a massive, swirling hole that opened in what only an instant before had been a clear-blue sky.
The insects descended and attacked the group, a separate swarm heading straight for Kagome. Before they reached her she saw one last glimpse of her friends. Inuyasha was protecting Sango and Shippo, his sword drawn. A little distance away a separate wasp was closing on Miroku, descending upon the unprotected monk with a killing speed. She knew she was out-of-range, but she loaded and fired one shot before she was cut-off from them by a living, buzzing wall.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha called in panic. She stood still, eyes closed, as a hot wind from their beating wings blew across her face. She clutched the shards tightly in her hand, hoping, praying.
"Michael, if this charm works, please let it work NOW!"
Kagome's hope was answered. The insects came at her full speed with their clawed legs outstretched toward her. When the first wave reached the boundary within a few feet, they were thrust backward, spiraling and spinning and smashing into the ground and trees in the radius around her with massive force. It was a good thing she was separated from the group, or many of the repelled wasps would have gone flying into her friends.
Wave after wave attacked her. The rear swarm, somehow sensing what was happening, diverted away from Inuyasha and the rest and veered back toward Kagome.
She stood still. Her eyes closed, she took in deep, ragged breaths as she clutched the shards
'I fear no evil. I fear no evil. I stand in the light, I fear no evil.' She chanted this to herself at first in her mind, and then aloud.
Through the onslaught of the droning insects, Inuyasha heard her words, a faint whisper in a foul wind.
As wave after wave was repelled, they seemed to become more aggressive, more determined to get at her. Inuyasha knew they were being controlled by Naraku, and that somewhere, right now, the demon was growing extremely frustrated and pissed. He hoped he was worried, too.
'I just hope that charm doesn't give out,' he thought, trying to contain his own fear for her. He thought about trying to attack them from the rear as they came at her, but it was no good. They approached her from all sides at once, and there were hundreds of them. As they fell, a few died from the trauma of Kagome's force-field, but still more came pouring through the hole. The group was completely cut-off from her, surrounded by the horror of a rolling blackness. Miroku covered Sango and Shippo with his body, and Inuyasha stood ready, sword high, eyes turning from orange, to light red.
Kagome, please be okay. . . .'
After timeless minutes, the sky cracked with thunder and lightening. Hail the size of grapefruits rained down and pummeled the field. The insects retreated and disappeared through the dark hole as the massive hail continued to rain down upon them. Sango's boomerang provided some shelter to Miroku, Sango and Shippo, as Inuyasha tried to deflect and slice the ice- balls with Tetsusaiga, getting hit in many places in the process.
At her end of the field, the hail rained down around Kagome in a circle, piling high on all sides, but none landing within the radius of her protected circle. Kagome had not opened her eyes. She felt the air go from burning hot to a deep cold on her cheeks. The noise was as loud as the wasps' drone, but different.
Underneath the sounds surrounding her, deep in her mind, a scream reached her. It was an enraged, furious scream, trying to get into her skull, behind her eyes. Naraku was far away, but he was here, in her head. It hurt. She closed her eyes tighter and breathed through the pain and tears.
'I fear no evil. I will not waiver, I will not fall. I stand in the light.'
As suddenly as it came, it was gone. The silence was unnatural as the light moved quickly from black to back to pre-dawn purple and then returning to the full-intensity of a late spring afternoon.
Kagome opened her eyes and blinked. A ring of hailstones calf-high surrounded her. She stepped over them, peering in concern across the field for her friends. She squinted, having to adjust to the brightness of the light even through her glasses. The ground ahead was now a vast expanse of bumpy, glittering hail.
She saw small dark, forms slowly moving amidst a white field. Inuyasha was the first to stand, a cascade of hail balls falling around him as he stood. He shook himself and tried to stand on top of the stones and walk. He lost his footing and fell down sideways, cursing.
The sound of his voice reached her, but she knew she was trapped. "Inuyasha! Are you okay?!"
She called to him, but if he answered, she didn't hear. It was getting hard to hear beyond the rushing of her own pulse in her head. She wanted to go to her friends, but the footing on the ice-balls was far too treacherous. 'I guess we'll just have to wait until this melts,' she thought grimly. She had felt better when she found the shards, but this onslaught had drained her once more, taken what little reserves she had left. She knew she needed water right away. She was shaking. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge lay down in the circle of bare grass, curl up and sleep.
She let out a surprised breath as Inuyasha grabbed her again.
"I've got you. You're alright now," he said to her low-tones as he quickly brought her down to the other end of the field. He felt her erratic heart rhythm. It was strange, one second too fast, the next slow and weak. He needed to get her alone, to find out what was wrong with her.
"Kagome!" Shippo called. "I'm so glad you're okay! I was worried!" The kitsune was on Sango's shoulders, and made a move to hop onto hers, arms open, but the look on her face told him now was not a good time. The kitsune thought she looked tired and scared, and needed cheering up.
"Hey Kagome!" he said, jumping down into the ice. "Look what I can do!" He picked up three, large balls and began juggling them.
Kagome smiled weakly at Shippo's antics, knowing he was putting on a show for her.
"That's great Shippo. I didn't know you could juggle," she replied, doing her best to sound very impressed. But she was tired and dehydrated and, if she didn't get what she needed soon, she knew she was going to be very sick.
'A great lot of help you'll be if you're sick in bed or worse,' she thought.
"Lady Kagome," Miroku said, "Once again I find myself thanking you. If you had not have shot the wasp when you did, I'm not sure I would be here now. Thank you."
She looked at him, baffled. Then it came back. 'Oh yeah, I did fire an arrow. Miroku was being attacked, it was right before they came at me. . . . '
She smiled at him. "I'm glad the arrow found its target. I was worried."
She felt her eyes moving in and out of focus, Miroku was spinning. She turned away, desperate not to faint on him. She saw Sango stroking Kirara and remembered the shards in her hand. She worried irrationally that if she fainted now, she might loose them. She put the shards inside a small zippered pocket on her vest, feeling her hand shaking with the effort of this simple task. She carefully took a few slow steps over to Sango, feeling the ice against her legs as she dug her hiking boots into the ground. As Kagome approached her, Miroku turned to Inuyasha.
"Inuyasha, a word with you, please."
She heard them talking, and saw her chance.
"Sango!" she whispered.
"Kagome? What's wrong?–"
"Sshh!"
"Sango can Kirara fly now? Is she hurt?"
"No, she can fly. She's fine, just a bit sore like me, I think"
"Then please, Sango, take me back to Kaede's on Kirara now!"
Sango saw how pale she looked. She reached up to touch her friends face and felt her chilled, clammy skin. Sango nodded.
"Of course, but shouldn't we tell the others?"
Kagome shook her head as her vision was giving way to blackness.
"Now, Sango. I need to leave now."
Kagome slumped over the cat-demon in a faint.
Sango got behind her, positioned Kagome's leg across Kirara's back, and gave the command.
They were airborne in a second, leaving three surprised males behind them.
Inuyasha cursed loudly and hit Miroku on the side of his head, making him cry out in surprise and pain. "You asshole! Kagome's gone! If it wasn't for your damn blabbering she wouldn't have gotten away!" He was suddenly feeling very foul and pissed at everyone. He was pissed at Miroku for distracting him, at Shippo for being a nuisance, at himself for not realizing how bad-off she was, at Sango for helping her pull this little stunt now. Most of all, he was pissed at Kagome herself for making him sick with worry for her. 'How dare she hide this from me. . . .just wait until I get hold of her!' If only he hadn't allowed Miroku to distract him, then he would know for himself what was wrong with her.
*******************************
. . . . "Inuyasha, a word with you please," Miroku had said.
Inuyasha faced the monk with a quizzical expression.
"It's about Lady Kagome. I think she's not well."
"Don't you think I can see that, idiot!" He had returned in a frustrated whisper. "She's shaken up from this whole fucking battle and then Naraku's wasps attacking her on top of it. It was too much for her."
"It's not just that--although I am sure you are right, I'm sure she is shaken. I know you understand her better than the rest of us and know what's best for her," he added. Miroku wasn't sly or subtle and Inuyasha caught his implication but didn't respond.
"What else, monk? What else do you think is wrong with her?"
"It's her energy. It's very weak. She seemed weak earlier, her aura was very pale. But, when she picked up the first shard, I think she gained some strength back. I felt the change in her right away."
Inuyasha nodded, he had noticed it too.
"But now she seems even weaker than before. I happened to glance her eyes under those glasses she is wearing, and they are changed."
"Changed how?"
"The color. Her eyes have lost their color. Their hue matches the sky. It is–disturbing."
Inuyasha felt himself grow cold. Kagome's eyes, her beautiful deep violet eyes.
"Shit!" he thought. "Eyes paler as the sky. An almost white, light blue-- Michael's eyes. What the hell did he do to her?!"
He turned round to confront her, make her take those damn glasses off so he could see for himself. That's when he saw her slumped on the back of Kirara, Sango holding on to her, rapidly receding in the air.
********************************************
Inuyasha took off, yelling back at Miroku and Shippo to meet him back at Kaede's. He knew Kagome would be mad when she found out he left the little kitsune behind, but right now, he didn't care and he didn't want the child in the way. He needed to get to Kagome as quickly as possible.
"Hang on Kagome!" Sango called in the wind to her unconscious friend. Sango was holding on to her and leaning into her, hard to keep her from slipping off. She was worried about Kagome. Whatever was wrong with her, Kagome could feel it happening and for some reason, wanted to get back to Kaede's quickly. She also had the feeling that Kagome was trying to keep whatever it was from Inuyasha.
Inuyasha couldn't get as high as Kirara, but he was flying, determined to beat them back or arrive at the same time.
As the cat-demon landed, Kagome revived. "Sango, we're back already? I guess I fell asleep," she said in a dazed voice.
"You didn't fall asleep, you fainted," Sango replied, her brow knit with worry.
"Sango, thanks. I really needed to get away. I didn't want to get sick there."
"You mean in front of Inuyasha, don't you?"
Kagome didn't answer but gave her friend a small smile. She was still woozy, but she could see again. I need to get some water and something to eat and I'll be all right. Do you want to come with me?"
Sango shook her head, "No, you go ahead and rest. I think I'll sit outdoors and enjoy what's left of the day without demons, wasps and hail."
Kagome nodded in understanding and started walking toward the hut, still very shaky.
Sango called out to her as she turned, feeling the need suddenly to let her friend know what she was thinking: "Kagome--I don't know what would have happened to us if you didn't show up. Your new power and skills are amazing. You were fearless, and I am proud to be in this fight with you again."
Kagome turned back around and smiled warmly at her friend's sincere compliment. "Thank you Sango," she said. "You are like a sister to me and what you just said means more to me than I can ever say."
Sango nodded and smiled. Kagome turned and went inside the hut.
Inuyasha watched her go inside, and landed, preparing to tear into Sango for taking off with her.
He landed in front of Sango, glaring accusingly.
Sango was as used to his temper as the rest of the group. 'So much for some demon-free time,' she thought, frowning.
"Don't look at me like that Inuyasha. I didn't do anything wrong. Kagome asked for my help and I gladly gave it. She feels sick and wants to get some food and water now, so just leave her alone. You can talk to her when she feels better."
Inuyasha gave her a disgusted look. "Hmmph! I'm not wasting my breath with you, woman. You and I will talk later, after I find out what's wrong with Kagome."
He turned and walked toward the hut.
Kagome was digging through her duffle-bag. She found a peanut-butter- caramel energy bar and was looking for her liter of Fuji water. 'Damn! Why is it that the bigger the bag is the easier things get lost in it?! If I don't get some water now, I'll be really sick. I have to remember to pace myself--I should have prepared better. It was fighting with Inuyasha that did it, he always has been able to rattle me and make me forget what I'm supposed to be doing. . . .'
She was getting frustrated, digging in the deep, dark, crowded bag, feeling around for the plastic bottle's distinctive shape. Finally, her hand found the top of it, and she sighed in relief, grabbing hold.
She was trembling now, and felt nauseous. 'God, I hope I can keep it down,' she thought.
She was distracted looking for the water and didn't hear him enter. As she straightened up holding the bottle, he was right behind her.
"Hello Kagome," he said menacingly.
Kagome startled and dropped her water. She turned round to face him, her heart racing and head swimming. She collapsed forward in his arms.
He picked her up and laid her down on her bedroll. "Kagome! Wake up!" he yelled shaking her lightly. Her heart-rate was erratic again and her breathing was shallow. "Damn!"
He was worried. She felt cold and was pale. 'Pale,' he remembered her eyes and removed her glasses, pulling them off from the stretchy sports- band that held them in place behind her head.
'Open your eyes Kagome. I need to see your eyes,' he thought. He desperately wanted to see her vivid, deep eyes looking back into his; not Michael's. He thought about trying to pry her eyes open with his fingers to look but was worried about scratching her face. He was studying her face, thinking she looked too still and noticed her lips looked very pale too and dry. Sango had said she needed food and water to get better. 'Is that all that's wrong with the damn girl? She didn't eat enough?'
He scowled, thinking how stupid it was for her to be so irresponsible. 'How could she not know when she's hungry or thirsty?' he thought frowning. But then, he thought of something else:
'She came here after our fight. She went straight to Miroku and Sango to help them, and, by the looks of it, had been battling the demon when I got there. She must have run!' He reflected on the distance she had gone this morning and again this afternoon. Years of experience had taught him this was a fairly far distance for a human to walk in a day, but for a human to run would take exceptional endurance.
He looked at her, shaking his head. 'You pushed yourself too far, you little idiot,' he thought. On top of this, he realized with new concern, she used her miko powers during her archery training to focus and used them again in the battle. He was awe-struck, remembering the band of pale-blue light that extended from her hand to the demon's head, melting the demon's skin where it touched. "If she did that, and was focusing her powers to guide arrows too, she's drained herself!" He startled, remembering something else Michael had said to her before he erased her memory:
***********************************
". . . . You need proper rest too. Don't allow yourself to get drained. Your spiritual energy is connected to your physical. . . ."
***********************************
Inuyasha felt his skin chill. Michael had erased that part of her memory too. Kagome wasn't thinking as much about this as she should because that bastard screwed with her head. 'Would you rather he didn't? Do you want her to remember every word he said to her?'
Kagome didn't remember how to care for herself, but he did. He glanced down at what she had dropped when she fainted. He picked up the small protein bar and sniffed it through the wrapper. It smelt sweet and unpleasant to him. He grimaced. 'This is all she eats? It's not enough.' He remembered what she had said about training with Michael and the foods she ate now. 'Does that bastard decide the time of the day she goes to the bathroom too?' Still, as much as he hated Michael for his control over her, he couldn't shake a horrible, disturbing thought:
'That necklace saved her today. The wasps couldn't touch her or the shards. Even Naraku's hail couldn't get through her barrier.'
As much as he hated to admit it--and he hated it very, very, much--the protection Michael's charm gave Kagome in battle was not a bad thing. With so many wasps, he had been powerless to help her, but she was safe and she knew it. He had seen her, standing bravely and unwavering in the onslaught; he had heard her words. Because of that bastard, she came out of that without a scratch or sting, '. . . .a lot better than anyone else.'
He thought again about what Miroku had said about her eyes–'Could this be some consequence of Michael's binding spell being activated, or is it something else?' He frowned. He didn't know what was caused the change in her eyes, but he knew it was connected to Michael.
He focused again on what she needed now–food and water. If the necklace was good for her, he unhappily decided that Michael might be right about her food as well. As much as he disliked the smell of the insignificant 'meal,' he picked it up and put it in his shirt. He looked down skeptically at the plastic bottle of water lying on the floor. He picked it up and sniffed it. It smelled fine, other than the odor of its container.
'Hmph! Is this how people in her time get "fresh" water? I will get Kagome fresh water.'
He dropped the bottle and picked up Kagome, now sleeping. 'Rest now. I'll take care of you. I know what to do.'
He picked her up and carried her out of the hut. Sango and Kaede were sitting in front of Kaede's hut. Sango was telling Kaede about the worm demon and the two new shards.
"Inuyasha!" Sango called, jumping up with fear, "what's wrong with Kagome?"
"Nothing wench! I'm going to take care of her. She'll be fine."
"Why not just let her recover here? I'll tend to her myself," Kaede offered, also looking concerned.
"NO! Both of you just stay away from her! No one's going to take care of her now but me, you to meddling bitches understand?"
Both women shot the half-demon angry looks, but Sango tried to reason with him.
"Really Inuyasha, we all care about Kagome and want what's best for her. Just let us–"
"I said NO!" He yelled with such might, his voice echoed in his own head, surprising him. He wanted to growl at her, his hair was bristling on the back of his neck and his instincts were running wild again. It was all he could do not to voice what he was thinking and feeling–
'No one touches my mate!'
He took off with her in his arms, Leaving Kaede and Sango's small figures behind and below him.
Kagome gave a small moan, but didn't wake up. At the river, the same one she jumped into earlier, he gently laid her down.
He took off his fire-rat coat and laid it down on the grass, and then placed her on top.
In the late afternoon, the air was starting to chill again, and he didn't want her lying on the cold ground. He took out the wooden ladle he picked up at Kaede's and filled it with cool, clear river water. He brought it back to her, and, gently cradling her head in his arms, wet his fingertip. He placed his finger on her lips, tracing her parched skin with cool water and his warm skin. She gave a soft moan and her lips parted, ever so slightly as a drop rolled into her mouth.
"That's it, Kagome. You need water now." Her lips parted, he brought the ladle to her mouth, very gently tipping it until just a trickle poured in. For a moment, she just lay there, the liquid brimming out of her mouth in her sleep.
He didn't like this, but then she made a choking sound and swallowed the water by reflex. "That's right, swallow. Now more."
He started to bring the ladle back to her mouth when she started coughing. Her eyes opened, heavily, slowly. At first everything was a blur of color. She felt warm, and something felt good, something cold. The sound of the lapping river water came to her ears, then Inuyasha's voice.
"Kagome! Kagome! Can you see me?"
She blinked and focused. Inuyasha was looking down at her, deep concern in his eyes. They looked so pretty to her, like pools of liquid amber. "Pretty." she said, staring blankly at him.
"What?" he asked. He heard her, but didn't understand. Surely she didn't just call him 'pretty!' She must be delirious.
He gave a happy sigh looking back into her eyes. When she had first opened them, they where as Miroku said, a shocking light blue, too light to be human. But when she blinked and said 'pretty,' her eyes were back to normal, her own breathtaking, violet eyes.
Kagome blinked and looked up at him. 'What am I doing here? I'm--I'm laying in Inuyasha's lap again!' She struggled to raise up, but he gently pushed her back down onto his legs.
"No Kagome. You can't get up yet. You're too weak. You need to drink. Drink more water, now."
She didn't even have time to respond. He brought the ladle to her mouth and was making her drink. She took in all the cool liquid as he gently tipped it to her lips. When it was gone, she tried to sit up again and this time he let her.
"Inuyasha, what's going on?" she asked.
"You're drinking," he said. "Stay here, I'm getting more." He stood up and walked quickly to the river, filling the ladle and bringing it back to her. "Drink, "he commanded. She looked at him with questioning eyes and he repeated the command louder. "DRINK."
She tried to take the ladle from him, but he wouldn't let her. He was kneeling down beside her, holding the ladle to her lips again, again gently and slowly forcing her to drink it all.
The water felt so good. She knew he was right, this was what she needed. She closed her eyes as she swallowed, relishing the feeling of the cool water in her throat and down into her body. She opened her eyes and found his staring at her intently. His gaze was steady, but unreadable.
'What's happened?' she wondered, thinking both about the way he was acting now and how she got here in the first place. Gradually she remembered–she was looking for her water, she found her water, Inuyasha came. Inuyasha came and then. . . .then what?
After she finished the water, he began standing to get more. She reached out and touched his arm.
"Why?" she asked, searching his eyes for answers.
"You were getting sick. You let yourself get run down. I'm taking care of you now. You'll drink first, then you'll eat. You will get better after you eat and drink," he replied, never taking his eyes from her.
"Why are we here?" she asked softly.
He kneeled back down to be level with her eyes again. "I told you, woman. You let yourself go too long without food or drink. I'm fixing it."
"Why are you taking care of me? I was getting a drink back at Kaede's, I remember," she said.
He snorted at her. "You are very bad at taking care of yourself. That water is not fresh. You need fresh water. I brought you here to the river for fresh water. You remember this place, where you went 'swimming?" He emphasized the word 'swimming' with sarcasm.
She caught his little chastisement and smiled meekly, nodding. "Yes, I remember. The water felt wonderful."
"Hmph! You could have frozen to death, you stupid wench! Now stay while I get you more water."
He got up and brought her back another ladle full, still not letting her hold it herself. He did this five times more before he was satisfied that she could take a break from drinking.
"Now eat," he said, producing her protein bar. She was surprised to see that he brought this, and smiled at him, touched by how thoughtful he was being.
"Inuyasha it was very sweet of you to bring that with you, but I'm not hungry now, I think I'll wait till–"
"I said eat, woman!" he said, shredding the wrapper with his fingernail and removing it. The bar felt sticky against his skin and he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "This looks and smells terrible. I wish you had better food!"
"Oh Inuyasha!" she said smiling. "They're really good once you get used to them. I'm just not hungry yet."
"I said eat and I mean it, Kagome. If you don't I'll force you."
He studied her reaction to his threat carefully. Her eyes widen in alarm, but then she smiled and shrugged in acquiescence. He knew it was possible she could send him flying backwards if she wanted to, but he also didn't believe she wanted to.
"Okay, you win!" she laughed. "Give me my damn food, bossy!" she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
"Tsk! You shouldn't be rude to someone who's caring for you." he reprimanded her, working on keeping his face straight.
After she took a bite of the bar, eating and swallowing half of it, she looked up at him again and asked the question he hadn't answered for her.
"That's what I want to know--Why are you taking care of me?"
"Why can't you take care of yourself?
"I can!" she said, raising her voice in offense. "I don't need you to–"
"Yes you do. You do need me to take care of you. You were very sick. You used too much energy running and focusing your powers today. You drained your body woman, do you know that?!" His voice was raised now too, lecturing her.
"I have plenty of reasons to be angry with you Kagome!" he said, his eyes now flashing.
Kagome closed her own eyes and looked down. "Inuyasha please, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I know you're angry that I called you Michael and I understand why. It was stupid and thoughtless and I've said it already, but you won't listen–"I'm sorry!"
"NO DAMN IT!" He yelled at her, his face very close to hers. "I'm not talking about THAT, I'm talking about you leaving Kaede's after I told you to wait there, running for far longer than you usually run in one day, using your powers too much, and not even taking the time to stop for a fucking drink of water! You are a stupid little bitch and you need me to take care of you!"
She was angry now and she could feel the tears willing their way to the surface of her eyes again. 'No, damn it, no! He will not make me cry, even if he calls me horrible names, I will not give him that satisfaction!'
She looked at him with a steely gaze. He could smell her tears, but they didn't come. He watched her, waiting for the crying to begin, waiting to feel miserable for being so mean to her when all he wanted to do was–
"Inuyasha! Where I go, when I run and when and how much I eat and drink are MY business, not YOURS! You don't own me, damn it!"
He looked at her, suddenly and deeply hurt. No, he didn't own her. Not yet, but he wanted to. If only he could tell her what he wanted, to show her how he truly felt. . . He knew he couldn't let her know, at least not until he felt certain that telling her wouldn't cause her even deeper confusion. If they mated, he wanted to be certain she would have no regrets afterwards. He loved her and wanted her as a life-mate, but he couldn't do anything about it unless he knew she felt the same way.
He looked back up at her, still hurting from her rebuff. It felt like too much like a denial of his unspoken desires. What if she truly didn't want him? His heart raced with dread as he thought about this. Ever since he had found her, she had pushed him away. She had other men--too many. Maybe she wanted her human man after all, or maybe it was the protector Michael who seemed to loom in her thoughts always, even when she was kissing him. She kept pushing him back, keeping secrets to distance herself from him. This hurt and angered him deeply. Why wouldn't she stop? He decided it was time to ask her for the truth to another secret:
"Why did you run away with Sango when you were sick?" he demanded.
She looked startled by this, and he heard her heart rate rise in fear. He had quickly come to predict when she wanted to lie to him. He had exacted a promise from her just a few hours earlier, but would she honor it now? He knew she had no idea how well he could read her, that this was a test of sorts. He waited, hoping:
"Please don't lie now, Kagome."
She looked down to hide her blush and in a voice so small it was almost a whisper, she said, "I didn't want you to see how weak I was. After fighting I could barely walk or see. I was ashamed by my weakness."
He looked at her in astonishment. "You were ashamed?" he said.
She didn't look up to meet his eyes, but nodded. Her tears that had been threatening, finally came. She instantly felt even more ashamed and weak. She raised her hands to her eyes trying to cover them, embarrassed at the complete lack of control she was showing. She felt so foolish and useless, and wished he would just leave her alone now.
He grabbed her wrists and pulled them away from her eyes, shocking her and forcing her to look up at him, to show him her tear-stained face.
"Kagome," he said, "I don't think you're weak. I don't think that at all. He brought his face very close to hers, his eyes tracking with hers, not letting go. "You have amazing strength for a human and a miko, and I've never seen anyone more courageous in battle than you were today."
After a moment, he continued, his eyes still intensely locked onto her own.
"You're not weak at all, Kagome, but you are confused. You lie and keep secrets to hide your confusion. You lie to hide from me. You even hide from yourself." She was stunned and baffled by his words. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about Inuyasha," she said, earnestly.
"I think you do," he said, his voice a husky whisper as he brought his mouth to hers in a sudden kiss.
The kiss was not soft or slow, like earlier ones, but hard and deep. He pressed his mouth into hers so insistently she felt the tips of his fangs brush her lips, leaving her breathless. His lips were soft, wet and warm. She tasted him and shuddered with pleasure.
Her heartbeat rose with her excitement. Never had she felt anything like this, she never even dreamed of it. She wanted more, desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, to melt into him and never stop this kiss. This is what she had wanted for so long, and now that it was happening, she didn't want him to stop. She urgently wanted to feel his body close to hers, her need for this feeling and mounting desire for him rising. "Please, don't let him stop now. . . ," her mind willed.
He pulled away, and holding her arms firmly, he watched her pant, trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes almost black with the passion he brought out in her. She was beautiful and he wanted to take her desperately. Seeing her bite back her need for him was almost unbearable. He breathed hard and struggled for control as he willed himself to speak, not kiss:
"You are confused," he repeated. "You need to think. I will give you some time."
She blinked at him in disbelief. Whatever had just happened here was like a dream, unreal. His words made no sense. Yes, she was confused, damn confused. After what he just did to her, she had every right to be.
"Inuyasha, please–what should I think about what just happened now?"
He looked at her and shook his head. "Kagome, you shouldn't think. You should FEEL. This is enough. I'm taking you back, now."
He stood up and waited for her to stand, watching to see that she wasn't still weak. She felt weak, as she stood, but from the passion of his kiss and her spinning thoughts, not from the day. The drink and nourishment he gave her allowed her spiritual abilities to heal her body much quicker than most people. She wasn't back to full-strength, but she wasn't in danger of getting sick anymore either.
'I'm only in danger of wanting what I can't have. He has no idea what he does to me, how I feel about him still. I want HIM–so much, he's all I want. I wish. . . . NO! NO! I won't do this! I won't wish for what I can't have. I'm not a child anymore. I just have to make him stop. He's too amazing and I want him too much. I'm here for a reason, and loving him isn't it–not the way I want to love him now.'
Her mind raced with raw emotions and confusion as he encircled his arm around her waist and leapt into the sky, heading back to Kaede's once more.
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You remind me of a student I had in an honors philosophy seminar once--we were having a free-ranging discussion dealing with everything from Descartes to Sarte and existentialism to Theravada Buddhism. Anyway, one student listened as I tried to give a wrap-up for of these ideas, looking for commonalities and differences. He raised his hand to voice an objection and ended up giving a thirty-minute presentation on Chaos Theory and its religious and ethical implications. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I was so pleased, so humbled, and so delighted by that experience. He was (and still is, I'm sure) a remarkable person
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I humbly admit to my short-comings (which are many) in understanding theories and scientific law. I know nothing at all of physics, etc. I think you are saying nicely that my scenario is unrealistic that this takes away from the story's efficacy for you. I'm sorry, I really am.
I love sci-fi stories that are based on what may be possible and the ethical/technological implications these stories raise. I read a story once about a tachyonic telephone created by a man in the future to send a message back to 1960's to alter the future (the earth was dying from pollution). Very cool story, and from what I understand from a physics professor friend who also teaches sci-fi fiction, theoretically possible.
My second response is not defensive--I hope! I don't believe in demons, half- demons, angels, men with cursed black-holes in their hands, etc. (not that I am closed to any possibilities, I just haven't met any yet!). I don't spend time looking for gateways existing to other dimensions or times either. Still, I love thinking about these ideas as STORY, for entertainment, which means suspending my own beliefs. Some of the sci-fi channel's offerings like Sliders (older show), Farscape (I'm so pissed it's gone!), and Star Gate are so fun! The Inuyasha premise and the possibilities the author has generated with her wonderful ideas have spawned countless fanfics, a testament to the power of creativity sparking creativity.
Like I said at the beginning, this story is an amateur's attempt at writing romance within a sci-fi genre, and I'm doing it for FUN! If this works for you at all, I am assuming that you can overlook my lack of grounding in scientific theory as much as my lack of Japanese culture. I promise if I ever try to write a novel for publication I will at least attempt to do some research to make it as believable as possible!
Finally, about Paul—no he's not an afterthought. Kagome herself is not the most believable as I have created her (19, academically gifted to the point of genius, gorgeous, talented singer, and with powerful supernatural abilities to boot—not to mention that she's still a virgin!) Anyway, I thought it would make sense that at 19, she had at least ONE regular human boyfriend in her experience—sorry again if it doesn't work, but I appreciate the feedback!
Sorry this is so long—Thank you again to all my reviewers for taking the time. Now, on with the story. . . .
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Chapter 18 More Confusion
She turned around swiftly and walked away. 'Let him chew on that for awhile! I didn't want to throw it in his face that he called me "Kikyo" more than once, but he is being such a jerk about this! It hurt, but I never acted like I hated him for it!'
' But. . . ,' a little voice continued, 'calling you Kikyo would be an easy mistake. You look like her, you've seen that yourself. You are her reincarnation, so it's only natural to confuse you. In what way does Inuyasha even remotely resemble Michael?'
She confused an angel with a half-demon. She shook her head at herself as she walked away, sardonically smiling in disbelief. 'Confusing opposites is a little harder to understand than confusing copies! I guess he does have a reason to be really, really pissed. . . . still, I pray he forgives me.'
She came back to camp to find only Shippo and Kaede waiting for her. Miroku and Sango had gone off to look for the plant demon. A boy from the next village, just three miles away gave Kaede the news of a fresh attack.
Kaede asked how things had gone with Inuyasha. "Not well. I think he's really mad at me this time, and I need to give him some time to cool-down. He doesn't care how sorry I am."
Kaede gave a sympathetic nod, but said nothing more.
"Kaede, how long ago did Sango and Miroku leave?"
"About twenty minutes ago on Kirara."
"Shippo, I'm going to try to catch-up to them. You stay here with Kaede, okay?"
"Kagome no! I want to come with you. You may need my help. I can protect you just like Inuyasha."
"I know you can Shippo," she said, looking into his small face seriously, not wanting to hurt his feelings by smiling now. "But I really want you to stay and protect Kaede. What if that thing comes here and she's alone?"
"Kagome, come on. I've been going into battles ever since you found me. Please don't make me stay!" he begged, grabbing her leg and hanging on, tears in his eyes.
Kagome knew they were crocodile tears, but he was right. He was part of their group and was rarely left behind. His foxfire attacks and abilities to become invisible and transform had made critical differences too. He was brave, cunning, and selfless in battle. As young as he seemed to her, she also knew he was older, older than a human his size would be. Also, he was aged by the painful experience of losing his family and watching his parents die. She wanted to protect him, but he deserved to come.
"Oh Shippo, you know I can't say no to you. You'll have to hold on to me tight though, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to run."
"Like Inuyasha runs with you on his back?"
She shook her head. "Not anywhere close to that fast, but as fast as I can."
"Let's go!" he said.
"Okay, I just need to get two things out of the hut and we're off."
Kagome hurried inside. She grabbed her MP3 and strapped it to her arm and put in hear earphones. She also grabbed her Ray-Bans with the sports strap and put them on, covering her eyes from the mid-day glare. When she got back outside, she picked up her quiver and bow and bent to check her shoe laces before starting off.
"You look funny Kagome!" Shippo said. 'Yeah, like some kind of Japanese time-traveling terminator,' she thought. 'Maybe I'll start saying to demons before they die: "you are terminated, fucker!" I wonder if I can do a German accent?'
She smiled thinly at her own silliness. She was trying hard to keep her mind off Inuyasha, but not succeeding. She wished he was with her now.
"What are those things on your eyes?"
They're called sunglasses. They keep the sun out of my eyes. 'And the energy from my eyes safely away from my friends,' she thought. "Are you ready?"
Shippo nodded, jumped on her back, and held on tight. Waiving goodbye to Kaede, the pair took off for the village to the northeast, Kagome listening to ELO's "Hold On Tight To Your Dreams" as she ran.
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Back in the forest, Inuyasha sat in a high tree, thinking about her parting words. She had a point, he knew. He had called her Kikyo before, and sometimes she would pout and not speak to him for hours afterward. He knew he should just let this go, but he was deeply disappointed. 'Tonight was to be the night I asked Kagome to become my mate,' he thought bleakly. 'I can't do that now. I don't know if it will ever happen, or if it is even possible.'
He knew that since he fully realized his feelings toward her he had been moving fast, maybe faster than was wise. Did it really make any sense to mate while they were in the middle of this quest? What if she got pregnant, then what? Was he ready for that, to have two lives to protect in the face of constant danger? No, he knew his thinking was rash, 'If only that bastard wasn't forcing the issue.' If it wasn't for Michael, threatening to confess his feelings at any moment and showing he had the power to take her away from him in the blink of an eye, there would be time later to sort-out their feelings.
He was having a hard enough time just accepting the changes in her and in his own awakening feelings. He also knew there was more about her he didn't know yet.
Just what had happened to her in the past two years to cause such changes to her personality? She was bolder, more independent. She had a new confidence too. Her good humor was still there, but there was something underneath it, underneath what she wanted to show everyone else. There was a deep sadness in her, a pain he could sense like a heavy scent. Why did she carry this sadness? He wanted to help her, to hold her and protect her, to make it leave her, but he didn't know how. He didn't know what could have caused this.
Because of Michael, he didn't have the luxury of time if he wanted a chance to claim her, but he couldn't act on his feelings while she was so confused.
He wasn't angry any more, he was hurt. He was hurt by her confusion about what Michael meant to her. He wanted to hear her say that Michael was only her protector, and no more. He wanted to hear her say that she loved him, but she hadn't.
'But did you ask her?'
'Well, maybe not exactly,' he answered himself, 'But I did ask her who meant more to her and she couldn't give a straight answer. She wasn't lying. She really doesn't know.'
'True,' his thoughts circled back again, 'but still. . . .maybe you should ask, just to be certain. Are you ready to forget about mating because her feelings are unclear to you?'
'No, but damn it, she needs to choose! Him or me. That is what I'll tell her–she needs to make a choice, right now.'
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Kagome had made good time getting to the village. The land was flat and the spring day not too hot. She wished she had taken some extra water with her. Her earlier run and carrying Shippo were tiring her faster than she expected, and she knew she needed to replenish herself soon.
As she ran into the village, she heard sounds of women crying. People looked askance at her, a strangely dressed woman with a demon-child on her back, but no one spoke to her. Two men had died today in the attack, and their wives and children were being consoled by other women.
"Please," Kagome said, approaching a woman bringing food to one of the grieving families, "can you point me in the direction where the men were attacked?"
The woman looked at her suspiciously but didn't respond.
When she realized she was still wearing her glasses, she pulled them down to show the woman she did have normal eyes.
"Please! It's very important!" Kagome asked again, hoping she had put the woman at-ease.
"Why?! Why would you want to know that? You're a very rude and foolish girl!"
"Maam, I mean no disrespect to you or any of those grieving today. What happened here was terrible. Two of my companions are already here, fighting the demon that did this. I came to help them. Please, will you tell me?"
The woman looked at Kagome again. What she noticed, beyond her appearance, was her arrows. She raised a skeptical eyebrow at her, but her tone had changed.
"You look a lot like the younger girl I saw not four months ago. She was dressed strangely too, but differently than you. Are you her sister?"
Kagome wasn't sure how to answer. Obviously she came through here recently in this time, but she didn't remember clearly. This village blurred with all the others in her memories, and as her older self, it made sense that she would be taken as her own sister.
"Uhmm, yes, that's right. I am. Now, will you please help me?"
"Head towards the mountains. The thing seems to have been laying in waiting. The men went hunting this morning when they were attacked," she said, pointing her swollen, arthritic finger toward the northwest.
Kagome nodded in thanks.
Shippo was still holding on tight, his grasp tightening with his mounting tension. As she ran to the music, she became aware of something, a feeling inside her body like a pulse. She reached up absentmindedly and pressed the volume down button. She felt it distinctly, two beats, growing stronger with each step, mirroring the rhythm of her own heart. "Shards," she thought. "I don't just sense them, I feel them, calling me."
She had not expected to feel this, it was a new sensation. It was stronger, more demanding than the general sense of them she had always had. She ran on. The sky grew steadily darker in the area they were moving into, and the smell of fresh blood and death assaulted the fox-demon's keen nose. "Kagome, be careful. I think this thing is–"
"AHEAD!" Kagome yelled. She had been distracted by the music, by her own thoughts. If she hadn't looked up, she would have run straight into it. What she saw made her stomach and chest tighten in dread. The demon was in front of them and it was immense, sprawling. It wasn't a plant demon at all, but some kind of immense brown snake. The entire top of its body was covered with green. They were vine-like growths sprouting tendrils and spiked leafy projections out in every direction. The plant layer was obviously the thing's camouflage. It was why she had not seen it earlier, how it had killed so many unsuspecting victims. Once she approached its lair, the thing raised up, revealing it's brown underbelly.
The monster's head was undifferentiated from its body. It undulated as its body raised the head above the trees, towering above her. It knew she was there, but it was looking in the wrong direction. She noticed in fascinated horror the bands of skin that expanded and contracted as the thing moved. The air turned putrid, it was a stench from the deepest bowels of the earth- -decay, humus, and the vaguely sweet scent of rotting meat.
Kagome closed her eyes, willing herself not to throw-up. 'It probably can hone-in on the sound of someone retching,' she warned herself. 'Keep it together. Stay calm. You can do this, you must.' It turned it's head toward them and Kagome realized it had no eyes, no face at all. The head was smooth, bulbous. Not even a mouth was visible. She realized with horror why.
"HOLY SHIT! This is no snake demon! It's a nightcrawler from hell!"
With a move so sudden Kagome didn't have time to react, the monster rounded on her, its faceless head, almost level with the ground, only yards away. It sensed her now, and was moving in. It's mouth, she realized with horror, was somewhere on the underside of the mammoth head, "Probably a slit with barbs at the opening," her mind recalling details from invertebrate zoology on it's own, trying to avoid what was immediate, what was bearing down on her now.
Without thinking, the spell was activated. The monstrous head and the lower- half of the body that were closing in where thrown back. The demon twisted and writhed in the air as it was sent flying. Behind her, she heard someone scream.
"Shippo!" He was repelled at the same time and went flying back into the grass. She watched in horror as he landed. Her eyes grew huge as he screamed. "AAARHG! KAGOME! I'M HURT!"
She starred in horror, realizing Shippo hadn't landed in grass, but in a loop of the demon's plants. Thorny tendrils held him, snagged in his clothes, his body, held onto his tail. The more he tried to move, the more embedded the plant's hooks became. "IT BURNS!" he cried fear and pain. "IT BURNS!" Kagome realized the thorns were releasing some kind of toxin. This is how the blind headed demon immobilized it's victims, she quickly understood, making them easier to find.
"SHIPPO! HOLD ON! I'M COMING!" 'Focus NOW!' she commanded herself. She was not in danger, but Shippo was. She knew she had to act fast. She loaded an arrow and shot at the head, missing. 'Shit!' she thought. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't focus. She was too scared for Shippo to focus. She had to get past the fear if she was going to be able to save him.
'You can't be scared--Fear is death! Fear is death!' her mind screamed. But she felt herself drifting away, leaving the pain, leaving the fear, as her mind struggled for escape from the dread. 'Fear is darkness. . . .' Her eyes were loosing focus. She watched from behind her glasses a blurry scene as the head demon's came down, positioned directly over Shippo.
He was screaming, crying, and unable to move. He was far, far away from her, hundreds of years away. She was letting go-- 'NO! GO BACK NOW!' her mind commanded, bringing her back to the moment she desperately wanted to leave behind. 'Shippo. . . . That goddamned monster is going to kill him, it's going to kill this child--this child I love like my own--MY CHILD!'
A surge of white-hot anger shot through Kagome, physically causing her to shudder with the impact of the jolt.
"NO YOU DON'T, YOU GODDAMNED BITCH!" She screamed. With speed powered by miko energy, she fired four arrows one after another, directly into the head in nightcrawler. The head exploded, raining down a shower of hot, clear fluids on Shippo. If the thing's tendrils weren't holding him fast, he would have been carried away in their quick flood. Headless, the body flopped down with a quake. A rush of steamy, putrid juice flowing from the severed ending.
Kagome saw Shippo through the blue-white haze of her energy. She held out her right hand and threw her head slightly back, eyes open. "Come Shippo, grab the light and hold on. hold onto the light."
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Inuyasha was still thinking about her words, trying to convince himself that confronting her now was the right course of action. 'I want her and she wants me. It should be easy now. Why is nothing with this woman easy?. . . She's confused, but she needs to choose. I will make her choose. But, what if I'm not her choice? What then? Am I ready to hear her say those words? If I ask her to choose now, I might loose her. If only she weren't so damn confused, stupid woman. I've shown her how I feel, practically told her. What more am I supposed to do now?. . .'
'Michael said this was "a game." That asshole. This is no game. Still, he has the advantage. He's part of her time, her world, and she's bound to him now. She feels something for him too, I know. It's new, but it's strong. His hold on her--what is it?. . ."
His thoughts were broken off by his instincts. He tensed, ears twitching, scanning the quiet forest for something amiss. Every sense was in high alarm. Something was wrong. He tore through the skies, back at Kaede's in under three minutes. He arrived to a deserted scene, but his nose told him a human was still here.
"Kaede!" He yelled. "Where are you hag!"
Kaede came through the door of her hut, looking puzzled. "Inuyasha, what's wrong? Why are so–""Where's Kagome?!" he demanded.
"Inuyasha, she left with Shippo almost an hour ago. They went to go help Sango and Miroku battle the plant demon in the next village," she explained.
"WHAT?!" he said, towering threateningly over the old woman. "YOU LET HER GO BY HERSELF?! YOU JUST LET HER GO?!!" Every fang glared menacingly at her as she was accosted by his temper.
"You expected me to force her to stay when she knew her friends were fighting?" she asked blandly, turning away from the angry hanyou.
"WHY DOESN'T THAT DAMN BITCH EVER LISTEN TO ME?! I told her to stay the fuck here!" he yelled back, turning to leave.
"And when has Lady Kagome ever done as you've commanded, hmm?" she snapped back to no one. He was gone, leaping through the trees and sky in flashes of red.
*********************************************************************
As she held up her hand, a hazy blue light that steamed forth, hitting the surface of the plant growths and withering them in their purifying heat. Shippo was free, standing shoulder-deep in dead vines and dust.
He was hurt, cut in many places, and felt burning stings under his skin in many painful places. But when she spoke to him, the pain left-- "Come Shippo, grab the light and hold on. hold onto the light."
He felt no fear now, no pain, only a sense of calm and safety. He reached out to the light, let it take him. He was lifted soundlessly and gently, surrounded by an aura of Kagome's energy, he was carried to her waiting arms.
"Shippo," she nuzzled into the child's furry ear. "Oh Shippo! Are you all right?"
The child nodded "Yes, yes Kagome. You saved me. I love you."
"I love you too, sweet boy!" Kagome smiled in relief and let out a deep breath. Holding this child, knowing he was safe, was enough.
That's when she heard Sango's scream. Gently placing Shippo down on solid, worm-free ground, she turned. Behind her she could now see what had been blocked by the half of the monster's body she destroyed. Miroku and Sango were caught in a deadly battle with the nightcrawler's other half. A head, identical to the one she just destroyed loomed above them. Sango was on lying on the ground, holding her side in pain. Miroku was standing in front of her, protecting her with his own body. He was holding up his staff in his hand with the wind tunnel. She could see his staff was emitting a spiritual energy, but it wasn't strong enough to stop the demon's advance, only to barely slow it.
"Shippo! Stay here! I need to go help them!"
Without waiting for his reply, she was running behind the head. The ground was hilly and unstable, like a landmine field. The monster's body was everywhere, hidden by its growths, looping and twisting in wide swaths of the surrounding field. Kagome had to run looking down, carefully watching for patches where vines and tendrils blended among the high meadow grasses.
Up ahead, the ground was an ugly tangle of earthworm. There were no more patches of safe land for footing. She was trapped on both sides and ahead, the only free way, to go back. Miroku and Sango were in trouble now. Sango was standing again but she looked wobbly. She was leaning on her boomerang, and it looked like she was going to attempt to lift it. 'If Miroku opens his wind-tunnel to suck that thing in, will he be able to close it again?' she thought, panicked. The worm was vast. She was worried that if he tried to save Sango by opening it, the hole to grow to the point where he would be swallowed too.
Kagome saw the back of the giant ugly head. 'If only I could get closer!' There was no time. She was out of range of the arrows, she knew, but she had to try. 'If I can send out an energy channel and keep it open, could the arrow ride it?' She had never tried to use her energy like this before. It would require timing and a focus she didn't know if she had. She was running on pure adrenaline, but she was nearly spent. 'If I can do this, I only get one chance.'
She brought her bow round front over her left shoulder. Standing straight with her eyes closed behind her glasses, she held out her right hand. 'No fear, no fear, no fear, no fear,' she chanted to herself. 'Find your energy, bring it forth, focus, Kagome. Focus now!'
She opened her eyes as they flashed to white behind her glasses, and once more a stream of pure blue energy emitted from her palm. She held her arm high, pointing the beam at the monster's head.
Where the energy connected with the demon there was a sound of fire erupting. Her energy was boring a hole through it's thick skin. In pain, the head and lower body swiveled around on a segment, searching for the source of its aggravation. The thing made no sound, but the sound of its movements were horrifying, the wet friction of segments twisting, it's spineless form undulating toward her.
Still focused on her energy beam, Kagome loaded an arrow and fired.
Inuyasha surveyed the battle from above, saw the thing turn, advancing toward Kagome. 'That light coming from her–I've never seen her do that before!' he thought as he witnessed a wavering band of soft blue light extending from Kagome's hand to the demon's head.
He landed on back of the nightcrawler's head, sword in his hand.
Kagome's arrow veered from her energy stream just the slightest, hitting the side of the mouth instead of dead center. The arrow hit just as Tetsusaiga severed the head from the body. A rush of hot fluid's fell freely above Kagome, but she was beyond its reach. She watched as the body fell, a repeat of what she had seen only minutes before. Across from her in the field of steaming worm remains, Inuyasha stood, sword still drawn, wind billowing through his white hair. They locked eyes from across the distance.
Suddenly he yelled, "Kagome! Look out!" She turned round.
The half of the monster behind her was rising, a shiny, new end rounding the body, a head that only minutes before had been destroyed. 'Shit!' she realized in dawning horror. 'It's growing new heads!'
Almost as soon as she thought that she looked back towards Inuyasha to see another new head budding from the severed stump. Kagome was struck with an idea. 'I pray this works,' she thought.
"Inuyasha!" she screamed at him across the field. "We have to severe both heads from the ends at the same time! Wait until the head grows back at your end before you attack. It won't die unless both heads die together!"
He gave a nod in understanding and, without time for further communication, Kagome turned back round to face the new head that now was searching for her again. She knew Inuyasha had to wait for the head at his end to fully emerge before attacking. They would have to be perfectly synchronized in their actions.
"INUYASHA!" she yelled back, "Signal when you are ready!" She hoped he heard her. Her mind was so distracted she forgot about his demon hearing. She waited only a couple of seconds and tossed an arrow into a large patch of vines to her side. Instantly the vines came to life, grabbing the arrow and piercing its shaft with thorns. At the same instant, the new head whirled round.
"Come and get me, bitch!" Kagome said, readying her bow.
She heard Inuyasha give a battle cry and knew Tetsusaiga was in motion. With the mouth descending above her like a collapsing tower overhead, Kagome fired straight up into the center of the head, releasing two arrows. There was a deafening sound, as twin explosions occurred across the vast space of the field. Inuyasha had sliced his head clear off, and was splattered by fresh guts. A stream of fluids also hit Kagome this time, hot and putrid. The ground was burning everywhere, blackened and on fire as the areas of field that were the monster's body were burning.
Shippo ran to Kagome, clinging to her.
"Kagome! Kagome!" he called. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine!" she tried to smile reassuringly. "Are you okay?" she asked, bending down to pat his head. He winced where she touched him, sore from the plant's stingers, but he nodded yes.
"Shippo let's go check on the others."
The kitsune hopped up in her arms and Kagome felt herself sway woozily. "Shippo honey, are you up to walking? I'm afraid I might be too tired to carry you just now."
He looked momentarily hurt, but nodded yes again. "Okay, just be careful not to step in any of the burning areas. There could still be some thorns."
He nodded again, and they started walking, but only had taken a few steps before Inuyasha swept down, lifting them both up in his arms. Airborne with her head against his chest, Kagome whispered "Thanks." He heard her, but didn't respond to her words. He could tell as soon as he touched her there something was wrong with her, she looked drained, and her pulse was weaker than normal. He landed by Miroku and Sango, intent to question her about what was wrong, but as soon as he let go of her waist, she ran to the two humans.
"Miroku, Sango, are you guys okay?"
"Yes Lady Kagome. Thanks to your timely assistance and Inuyasha's arrival. I have never seen a demon so immense on the ground before! Your aim is truly remarkable, and I am sorry for offending you earlier."
"Miroku, don't worry. I'm just glad you're okay!" she smiled weakly.
Sango winced and Kagome looked at her in alarm, remembering she had been hurt earlier. "It's nothing Kagome," she said. "I was thrown off Kirara when we were attacking the first head from the air. I landed hard and some of its plants stung me. It feels like a giant bee-sting, but I'll be okay."
Kagome nodded. "Shippo got stung badly too. I think we better get back to Kaede's and clean up. She noticed that Inuyasha was rubbing his arm as well.
"Inuyasha?" she asked.
"I'm fine Kagome, I landed in the wrong spot after I sliced its damn head off, but the fucker only stung me once. It's you who–""
Kagome interrupted him "Sssh!" she commanded. "Let me get the shards." Their rhythm was faster now, more persistent, and she could feel her own heartbeat responding to their call.
The group looked at each other puzzled. No one had suspected there would be jewel shards connected with this demon and Kagome hadn't said anything earlier. Inuyasha watched her with a mixture of concern and awe, keenly aware of what was happening to her.
The shards were drawing her to them, like a heartbeat in her head, the pulse of them almost deafening. She had never sensed shards so intently as she did now, and their call overpowered ever other sense, even her own fatigue.
"Where Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded.
She walked over the charred and smoking earth, bent down and picked up a shard where the head closest to Miroku and Sango had been. Holding it in her hand, feeling her pulse, interweave with hers, she felt stronger. Without calling it into focus, her power flowed freely through her hand, a blue light mixing with the shard's soft, pink glow. The shard was purified by her touch, and somehow, Kagome had regained some strength from touching it as well. Inuyasha watched her run back to where the other head fell, the spot still smoking and on fire. Inuyasha gasped as he watched her reach through fire without hesitation and retrieve a second shard, unburned. She smiled back at him happily, a victory smile. Even covered in demon stench and grime, she looked radiant as Inuyasha watched her walk back to them, holding two new shards.
Before she reached them, the sky darkened to an ominous black above them. The immediate hum was deafening and unmistakable--hundreds of Naraku's giant wasps emerged from a massive, swirling hole that opened in what only an instant before had been a clear-blue sky.
The insects descended and attacked the group, a separate swarm heading straight for Kagome. Before they reached her she saw one last glimpse of her friends. Inuyasha was protecting Sango and Shippo, his sword drawn. A little distance away a separate wasp was closing on Miroku, descending upon the unprotected monk with a killing speed. She knew she was out-of-range, but she loaded and fired one shot before she was cut-off from them by a living, buzzing wall.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha called in panic. She stood still, eyes closed, as a hot wind from their beating wings blew across her face. She clutched the shards tightly in her hand, hoping, praying.
"Michael, if this charm works, please let it work NOW!"
Kagome's hope was answered. The insects came at her full speed with their clawed legs outstretched toward her. When the first wave reached the boundary within a few feet, they were thrust backward, spiraling and spinning and smashing into the ground and trees in the radius around her with massive force. It was a good thing she was separated from the group, or many of the repelled wasps would have gone flying into her friends.
Wave after wave attacked her. The rear swarm, somehow sensing what was happening, diverted away from Inuyasha and the rest and veered back toward Kagome.
She stood still. Her eyes closed, she took in deep, ragged breaths as she clutched the shards
'I fear no evil. I fear no evil. I stand in the light, I fear no evil.' She chanted this to herself at first in her mind, and then aloud.
Through the onslaught of the droning insects, Inuyasha heard her words, a faint whisper in a foul wind.
As wave after wave was repelled, they seemed to become more aggressive, more determined to get at her. Inuyasha knew they were being controlled by Naraku, and that somewhere, right now, the demon was growing extremely frustrated and pissed. He hoped he was worried, too.
'I just hope that charm doesn't give out,' he thought, trying to contain his own fear for her. He thought about trying to attack them from the rear as they came at her, but it was no good. They approached her from all sides at once, and there were hundreds of them. As they fell, a few died from the trauma of Kagome's force-field, but still more came pouring through the hole. The group was completely cut-off from her, surrounded by the horror of a rolling blackness. Miroku covered Sango and Shippo with his body, and Inuyasha stood ready, sword high, eyes turning from orange, to light red.
Kagome, please be okay. . . .'
After timeless minutes, the sky cracked with thunder and lightening. Hail the size of grapefruits rained down and pummeled the field. The insects retreated and disappeared through the dark hole as the massive hail continued to rain down upon them. Sango's boomerang provided some shelter to Miroku, Sango and Shippo, as Inuyasha tried to deflect and slice the ice- balls with Tetsusaiga, getting hit in many places in the process.
At her end of the field, the hail rained down around Kagome in a circle, piling high on all sides, but none landing within the radius of her protected circle. Kagome had not opened her eyes. She felt the air go from burning hot to a deep cold on her cheeks. The noise was as loud as the wasps' drone, but different.
Underneath the sounds surrounding her, deep in her mind, a scream reached her. It was an enraged, furious scream, trying to get into her skull, behind her eyes. Naraku was far away, but he was here, in her head. It hurt. She closed her eyes tighter and breathed through the pain and tears.
'I fear no evil. I will not waiver, I will not fall. I stand in the light.'
As suddenly as it came, it was gone. The silence was unnatural as the light moved quickly from black to back to pre-dawn purple and then returning to the full-intensity of a late spring afternoon.
Kagome opened her eyes and blinked. A ring of hailstones calf-high surrounded her. She stepped over them, peering in concern across the field for her friends. She squinted, having to adjust to the brightness of the light even through her glasses. The ground ahead was now a vast expanse of bumpy, glittering hail.
She saw small dark, forms slowly moving amidst a white field. Inuyasha was the first to stand, a cascade of hail balls falling around him as he stood. He shook himself and tried to stand on top of the stones and walk. He lost his footing and fell down sideways, cursing.
The sound of his voice reached her, but she knew she was trapped. "Inuyasha! Are you okay?!"
She called to him, but if he answered, she didn't hear. It was getting hard to hear beyond the rushing of her own pulse in her head. She wanted to go to her friends, but the footing on the ice-balls was far too treacherous. 'I guess we'll just have to wait until this melts,' she thought grimly. She had felt better when she found the shards, but this onslaught had drained her once more, taken what little reserves she had left. She knew she needed water right away. She was shaking. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge lay down in the circle of bare grass, curl up and sleep.
She let out a surprised breath as Inuyasha grabbed her again.
"I've got you. You're alright now," he said to her low-tones as he quickly brought her down to the other end of the field. He felt her erratic heart rhythm. It was strange, one second too fast, the next slow and weak. He needed to get her alone, to find out what was wrong with her.
"Kagome!" Shippo called. "I'm so glad you're okay! I was worried!" The kitsune was on Sango's shoulders, and made a move to hop onto hers, arms open, but the look on her face told him now was not a good time. The kitsune thought she looked tired and scared, and needed cheering up.
"Hey Kagome!" he said, jumping down into the ice. "Look what I can do!" He picked up three, large balls and began juggling them.
Kagome smiled weakly at Shippo's antics, knowing he was putting on a show for her.
"That's great Shippo. I didn't know you could juggle," she replied, doing her best to sound very impressed. But she was tired and dehydrated and, if she didn't get what she needed soon, she knew she was going to be very sick.
'A great lot of help you'll be if you're sick in bed or worse,' she thought.
"Lady Kagome," Miroku said, "Once again I find myself thanking you. If you had not have shot the wasp when you did, I'm not sure I would be here now. Thank you."
She looked at him, baffled. Then it came back. 'Oh yeah, I did fire an arrow. Miroku was being attacked, it was right before they came at me. . . . '
She smiled at him. "I'm glad the arrow found its target. I was worried."
She felt her eyes moving in and out of focus, Miroku was spinning. She turned away, desperate not to faint on him. She saw Sango stroking Kirara and remembered the shards in her hand. She worried irrationally that if she fainted now, she might loose them. She put the shards inside a small zippered pocket on her vest, feeling her hand shaking with the effort of this simple task. She carefully took a few slow steps over to Sango, feeling the ice against her legs as she dug her hiking boots into the ground. As Kagome approached her, Miroku turned to Inuyasha.
"Inuyasha, a word with you, please."
She heard them talking, and saw her chance.
"Sango!" she whispered.
"Kagome? What's wrong?–"
"Sshh!"
"Sango can Kirara fly now? Is she hurt?"
"No, she can fly. She's fine, just a bit sore like me, I think"
"Then please, Sango, take me back to Kaede's on Kirara now!"
Sango saw how pale she looked. She reached up to touch her friends face and felt her chilled, clammy skin. Sango nodded.
"Of course, but shouldn't we tell the others?"
Kagome shook her head as her vision was giving way to blackness.
"Now, Sango. I need to leave now."
Kagome slumped over the cat-demon in a faint.
Sango got behind her, positioned Kagome's leg across Kirara's back, and gave the command.
They were airborne in a second, leaving three surprised males behind them.
Inuyasha cursed loudly and hit Miroku on the side of his head, making him cry out in surprise and pain. "You asshole! Kagome's gone! If it wasn't for your damn blabbering she wouldn't have gotten away!" He was suddenly feeling very foul and pissed at everyone. He was pissed at Miroku for distracting him, at Shippo for being a nuisance, at himself for not realizing how bad-off she was, at Sango for helping her pull this little stunt now. Most of all, he was pissed at Kagome herself for making him sick with worry for her. 'How dare she hide this from me. . . .just wait until I get hold of her!' If only he hadn't allowed Miroku to distract him, then he would know for himself what was wrong with her.
*******************************
. . . . "Inuyasha, a word with you please," Miroku had said.
Inuyasha faced the monk with a quizzical expression.
"It's about Lady Kagome. I think she's not well."
"Don't you think I can see that, idiot!" He had returned in a frustrated whisper. "She's shaken up from this whole fucking battle and then Naraku's wasps attacking her on top of it. It was too much for her."
"It's not just that--although I am sure you are right, I'm sure she is shaken. I know you understand her better than the rest of us and know what's best for her," he added. Miroku wasn't sly or subtle and Inuyasha caught his implication but didn't respond.
"What else, monk? What else do you think is wrong with her?"
"It's her energy. It's very weak. She seemed weak earlier, her aura was very pale. But, when she picked up the first shard, I think she gained some strength back. I felt the change in her right away."
Inuyasha nodded, he had noticed it too.
"But now she seems even weaker than before. I happened to glance her eyes under those glasses she is wearing, and they are changed."
"Changed how?"
"The color. Her eyes have lost their color. Their hue matches the sky. It is–disturbing."
Inuyasha felt himself grow cold. Kagome's eyes, her beautiful deep violet eyes.
"Shit!" he thought. "Eyes paler as the sky. An almost white, light blue-- Michael's eyes. What the hell did he do to her?!"
He turned round to confront her, make her take those damn glasses off so he could see for himself. That's when he saw her slumped on the back of Kirara, Sango holding on to her, rapidly receding in the air.
********************************************
Inuyasha took off, yelling back at Miroku and Shippo to meet him back at Kaede's. He knew Kagome would be mad when she found out he left the little kitsune behind, but right now, he didn't care and he didn't want the child in the way. He needed to get to Kagome as quickly as possible.
"Hang on Kagome!" Sango called in the wind to her unconscious friend. Sango was holding on to her and leaning into her, hard to keep her from slipping off. She was worried about Kagome. Whatever was wrong with her, Kagome could feel it happening and for some reason, wanted to get back to Kaede's quickly. She also had the feeling that Kagome was trying to keep whatever it was from Inuyasha.
Inuyasha couldn't get as high as Kirara, but he was flying, determined to beat them back or arrive at the same time.
As the cat-demon landed, Kagome revived. "Sango, we're back already? I guess I fell asleep," she said in a dazed voice.
"You didn't fall asleep, you fainted," Sango replied, her brow knit with worry.
"Sango, thanks. I really needed to get away. I didn't want to get sick there."
"You mean in front of Inuyasha, don't you?"
Kagome didn't answer but gave her friend a small smile. She was still woozy, but she could see again. I need to get some water and something to eat and I'll be all right. Do you want to come with me?"
Sango shook her head, "No, you go ahead and rest. I think I'll sit outdoors and enjoy what's left of the day without demons, wasps and hail."
Kagome nodded in understanding and started walking toward the hut, still very shaky.
Sango called out to her as she turned, feeling the need suddenly to let her friend know what she was thinking: "Kagome--I don't know what would have happened to us if you didn't show up. Your new power and skills are amazing. You were fearless, and I am proud to be in this fight with you again."
Kagome turned back around and smiled warmly at her friend's sincere compliment. "Thank you Sango," she said. "You are like a sister to me and what you just said means more to me than I can ever say."
Sango nodded and smiled. Kagome turned and went inside the hut.
Inuyasha watched her go inside, and landed, preparing to tear into Sango for taking off with her.
He landed in front of Sango, glaring accusingly.
Sango was as used to his temper as the rest of the group. 'So much for some demon-free time,' she thought, frowning.
"Don't look at me like that Inuyasha. I didn't do anything wrong. Kagome asked for my help and I gladly gave it. She feels sick and wants to get some food and water now, so just leave her alone. You can talk to her when she feels better."
Inuyasha gave her a disgusted look. "Hmmph! I'm not wasting my breath with you, woman. You and I will talk later, after I find out what's wrong with Kagome."
He turned and walked toward the hut.
Kagome was digging through her duffle-bag. She found a peanut-butter- caramel energy bar and was looking for her liter of Fuji water. 'Damn! Why is it that the bigger the bag is the easier things get lost in it?! If I don't get some water now, I'll be really sick. I have to remember to pace myself--I should have prepared better. It was fighting with Inuyasha that did it, he always has been able to rattle me and make me forget what I'm supposed to be doing. . . .'
She was getting frustrated, digging in the deep, dark, crowded bag, feeling around for the plastic bottle's distinctive shape. Finally, her hand found the top of it, and she sighed in relief, grabbing hold.
She was trembling now, and felt nauseous. 'God, I hope I can keep it down,' she thought.
She was distracted looking for the water and didn't hear him enter. As she straightened up holding the bottle, he was right behind her.
"Hello Kagome," he said menacingly.
Kagome startled and dropped her water. She turned round to face him, her heart racing and head swimming. She collapsed forward in his arms.
He picked her up and laid her down on her bedroll. "Kagome! Wake up!" he yelled shaking her lightly. Her heart-rate was erratic again and her breathing was shallow. "Damn!"
He was worried. She felt cold and was pale. 'Pale,' he remembered her eyes and removed her glasses, pulling them off from the stretchy sports- band that held them in place behind her head.
'Open your eyes Kagome. I need to see your eyes,' he thought. He desperately wanted to see her vivid, deep eyes looking back into his; not Michael's. He thought about trying to pry her eyes open with his fingers to look but was worried about scratching her face. He was studying her face, thinking she looked too still and noticed her lips looked very pale too and dry. Sango had said she needed food and water to get better. 'Is that all that's wrong with the damn girl? She didn't eat enough?'
He scowled, thinking how stupid it was for her to be so irresponsible. 'How could she not know when she's hungry or thirsty?' he thought frowning. But then, he thought of something else:
'She came here after our fight. She went straight to Miroku and Sango to help them, and, by the looks of it, had been battling the demon when I got there. She must have run!' He reflected on the distance she had gone this morning and again this afternoon. Years of experience had taught him this was a fairly far distance for a human to walk in a day, but for a human to run would take exceptional endurance.
He looked at her, shaking his head. 'You pushed yourself too far, you little idiot,' he thought. On top of this, he realized with new concern, she used her miko powers during her archery training to focus and used them again in the battle. He was awe-struck, remembering the band of pale-blue light that extended from her hand to the demon's head, melting the demon's skin where it touched. "If she did that, and was focusing her powers to guide arrows too, she's drained herself!" He startled, remembering something else Michael had said to her before he erased her memory:
***********************************
". . . . You need proper rest too. Don't allow yourself to get drained. Your spiritual energy is connected to your physical. . . ."
***********************************
Inuyasha felt his skin chill. Michael had erased that part of her memory too. Kagome wasn't thinking as much about this as she should because that bastard screwed with her head. 'Would you rather he didn't? Do you want her to remember every word he said to her?'
Kagome didn't remember how to care for herself, but he did. He glanced down at what she had dropped when she fainted. He picked up the small protein bar and sniffed it through the wrapper. It smelt sweet and unpleasant to him. He grimaced. 'This is all she eats? It's not enough.' He remembered what she had said about training with Michael and the foods she ate now. 'Does that bastard decide the time of the day she goes to the bathroom too?' Still, as much as he hated Michael for his control over her, he couldn't shake a horrible, disturbing thought:
'That necklace saved her today. The wasps couldn't touch her or the shards. Even Naraku's hail couldn't get through her barrier.'
As much as he hated to admit it--and he hated it very, very, much--the protection Michael's charm gave Kagome in battle was not a bad thing. With so many wasps, he had been powerless to help her, but she was safe and she knew it. He had seen her, standing bravely and unwavering in the onslaught; he had heard her words. Because of that bastard, she came out of that without a scratch or sting, '. . . .a lot better than anyone else.'
He thought again about what Miroku had said about her eyes–'Could this be some consequence of Michael's binding spell being activated, or is it something else?' He frowned. He didn't know what was caused the change in her eyes, but he knew it was connected to Michael.
He focused again on what she needed now–food and water. If the necklace was good for her, he unhappily decided that Michael might be right about her food as well. As much as he disliked the smell of the insignificant 'meal,' he picked it up and put it in his shirt. He looked down skeptically at the plastic bottle of water lying on the floor. He picked it up and sniffed it. It smelled fine, other than the odor of its container.
'Hmph! Is this how people in her time get "fresh" water? I will get Kagome fresh water.'
He dropped the bottle and picked up Kagome, now sleeping. 'Rest now. I'll take care of you. I know what to do.'
He picked her up and carried her out of the hut. Sango and Kaede were sitting in front of Kaede's hut. Sango was telling Kaede about the worm demon and the two new shards.
"Inuyasha!" Sango called, jumping up with fear, "what's wrong with Kagome?"
"Nothing wench! I'm going to take care of her. She'll be fine."
"Why not just let her recover here? I'll tend to her myself," Kaede offered, also looking concerned.
"NO! Both of you just stay away from her! No one's going to take care of her now but me, you to meddling bitches understand?"
Both women shot the half-demon angry looks, but Sango tried to reason with him.
"Really Inuyasha, we all care about Kagome and want what's best for her. Just let us–"
"I said NO!" He yelled with such might, his voice echoed in his own head, surprising him. He wanted to growl at her, his hair was bristling on the back of his neck and his instincts were running wild again. It was all he could do not to voice what he was thinking and feeling–
'No one touches my mate!'
He took off with her in his arms, Leaving Kaede and Sango's small figures behind and below him.
Kagome gave a small moan, but didn't wake up. At the river, the same one she jumped into earlier, he gently laid her down.
He took off his fire-rat coat and laid it down on the grass, and then placed her on top.
In the late afternoon, the air was starting to chill again, and he didn't want her lying on the cold ground. He took out the wooden ladle he picked up at Kaede's and filled it with cool, clear river water. He brought it back to her, and, gently cradling her head in his arms, wet his fingertip. He placed his finger on her lips, tracing her parched skin with cool water and his warm skin. She gave a soft moan and her lips parted, ever so slightly as a drop rolled into her mouth.
"That's it, Kagome. You need water now." Her lips parted, he brought the ladle to her mouth, very gently tipping it until just a trickle poured in. For a moment, she just lay there, the liquid brimming out of her mouth in her sleep.
He didn't like this, but then she made a choking sound and swallowed the water by reflex. "That's right, swallow. Now more."
He started to bring the ladle back to her mouth when she started coughing. Her eyes opened, heavily, slowly. At first everything was a blur of color. She felt warm, and something felt good, something cold. The sound of the lapping river water came to her ears, then Inuyasha's voice.
"Kagome! Kagome! Can you see me?"
She blinked and focused. Inuyasha was looking down at her, deep concern in his eyes. They looked so pretty to her, like pools of liquid amber. "Pretty." she said, staring blankly at him.
"What?" he asked. He heard her, but didn't understand. Surely she didn't just call him 'pretty!' She must be delirious.
He gave a happy sigh looking back into her eyes. When she had first opened them, they where as Miroku said, a shocking light blue, too light to be human. But when she blinked and said 'pretty,' her eyes were back to normal, her own breathtaking, violet eyes.
Kagome blinked and looked up at him. 'What am I doing here? I'm--I'm laying in Inuyasha's lap again!' She struggled to raise up, but he gently pushed her back down onto his legs.
"No Kagome. You can't get up yet. You're too weak. You need to drink. Drink more water, now."
She didn't even have time to respond. He brought the ladle to her mouth and was making her drink. She took in all the cool liquid as he gently tipped it to her lips. When it was gone, she tried to sit up again and this time he let her.
"Inuyasha, what's going on?" she asked.
"You're drinking," he said. "Stay here, I'm getting more." He stood up and walked quickly to the river, filling the ladle and bringing it back to her. "Drink, "he commanded. She looked at him with questioning eyes and he repeated the command louder. "DRINK."
She tried to take the ladle from him, but he wouldn't let her. He was kneeling down beside her, holding the ladle to her lips again, again gently and slowly forcing her to drink it all.
The water felt so good. She knew he was right, this was what she needed. She closed her eyes as she swallowed, relishing the feeling of the cool water in her throat and down into her body. She opened her eyes and found his staring at her intently. His gaze was steady, but unreadable.
'What's happened?' she wondered, thinking both about the way he was acting now and how she got here in the first place. Gradually she remembered–she was looking for her water, she found her water, Inuyasha came. Inuyasha came and then. . . .then what?
After she finished the water, he began standing to get more. She reached out and touched his arm.
"Why?" she asked, searching his eyes for answers.
"You were getting sick. You let yourself get run down. I'm taking care of you now. You'll drink first, then you'll eat. You will get better after you eat and drink," he replied, never taking his eyes from her.
"Why are we here?" she asked softly.
He kneeled back down to be level with her eyes again. "I told you, woman. You let yourself go too long without food or drink. I'm fixing it."
"Why are you taking care of me? I was getting a drink back at Kaede's, I remember," she said.
He snorted at her. "You are very bad at taking care of yourself. That water is not fresh. You need fresh water. I brought you here to the river for fresh water. You remember this place, where you went 'swimming?" He emphasized the word 'swimming' with sarcasm.
She caught his little chastisement and smiled meekly, nodding. "Yes, I remember. The water felt wonderful."
"Hmph! You could have frozen to death, you stupid wench! Now stay while I get you more water."
He got up and brought her back another ladle full, still not letting her hold it herself. He did this five times more before he was satisfied that she could take a break from drinking.
"Now eat," he said, producing her protein bar. She was surprised to see that he brought this, and smiled at him, touched by how thoughtful he was being.
"Inuyasha it was very sweet of you to bring that with you, but I'm not hungry now, I think I'll wait till–"
"I said eat, woman!" he said, shredding the wrapper with his fingernail and removing it. The bar felt sticky against his skin and he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "This looks and smells terrible. I wish you had better food!"
"Oh Inuyasha!" she said smiling. "They're really good once you get used to them. I'm just not hungry yet."
"I said eat and I mean it, Kagome. If you don't I'll force you."
He studied her reaction to his threat carefully. Her eyes widen in alarm, but then she smiled and shrugged in acquiescence. He knew it was possible she could send him flying backwards if she wanted to, but he also didn't believe she wanted to.
"Okay, you win!" she laughed. "Give me my damn food, bossy!" she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
"Tsk! You shouldn't be rude to someone who's caring for you." he reprimanded her, working on keeping his face straight.
After she took a bite of the bar, eating and swallowing half of it, she looked up at him again and asked the question he hadn't answered for her.
"That's what I want to know--Why are you taking care of me?"
"Why can't you take care of yourself?
"I can!" she said, raising her voice in offense. "I don't need you to–"
"Yes you do. You do need me to take care of you. You were very sick. You used too much energy running and focusing your powers today. You drained your body woman, do you know that?!" His voice was raised now too, lecturing her.
"I have plenty of reasons to be angry with you Kagome!" he said, his eyes now flashing.
Kagome closed her own eyes and looked down. "Inuyasha please, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I know you're angry that I called you Michael and I understand why. It was stupid and thoughtless and I've said it already, but you won't listen–"I'm sorry!"
"NO DAMN IT!" He yelled at her, his face very close to hers. "I'm not talking about THAT, I'm talking about you leaving Kaede's after I told you to wait there, running for far longer than you usually run in one day, using your powers too much, and not even taking the time to stop for a fucking drink of water! You are a stupid little bitch and you need me to take care of you!"
She was angry now and she could feel the tears willing their way to the surface of her eyes again. 'No, damn it, no! He will not make me cry, even if he calls me horrible names, I will not give him that satisfaction!'
She looked at him with a steely gaze. He could smell her tears, but they didn't come. He watched her, waiting for the crying to begin, waiting to feel miserable for being so mean to her when all he wanted to do was–
"Inuyasha! Where I go, when I run and when and how much I eat and drink are MY business, not YOURS! You don't own me, damn it!"
He looked at her, suddenly and deeply hurt. No, he didn't own her. Not yet, but he wanted to. If only he could tell her what he wanted, to show her how he truly felt. . . He knew he couldn't let her know, at least not until he felt certain that telling her wouldn't cause her even deeper confusion. If they mated, he wanted to be certain she would have no regrets afterwards. He loved her and wanted her as a life-mate, but he couldn't do anything about it unless he knew she felt the same way.
He looked back up at her, still hurting from her rebuff. It felt like too much like a denial of his unspoken desires. What if she truly didn't want him? His heart raced with dread as he thought about this. Ever since he had found her, she had pushed him away. She had other men--too many. Maybe she wanted her human man after all, or maybe it was the protector Michael who seemed to loom in her thoughts always, even when she was kissing him. She kept pushing him back, keeping secrets to distance herself from him. This hurt and angered him deeply. Why wouldn't she stop? He decided it was time to ask her for the truth to another secret:
"Why did you run away with Sango when you were sick?" he demanded.
She looked startled by this, and he heard her heart rate rise in fear. He had quickly come to predict when she wanted to lie to him. He had exacted a promise from her just a few hours earlier, but would she honor it now? He knew she had no idea how well he could read her, that this was a test of sorts. He waited, hoping:
"Please don't lie now, Kagome."
She looked down to hide her blush and in a voice so small it was almost a whisper, she said, "I didn't want you to see how weak I was. After fighting I could barely walk or see. I was ashamed by my weakness."
He looked at her in astonishment. "You were ashamed?" he said.
She didn't look up to meet his eyes, but nodded. Her tears that had been threatening, finally came. She instantly felt even more ashamed and weak. She raised her hands to her eyes trying to cover them, embarrassed at the complete lack of control she was showing. She felt so foolish and useless, and wished he would just leave her alone now.
He grabbed her wrists and pulled them away from her eyes, shocking her and forcing her to look up at him, to show him her tear-stained face.
"Kagome," he said, "I don't think you're weak. I don't think that at all. He brought his face very close to hers, his eyes tracking with hers, not letting go. "You have amazing strength for a human and a miko, and I've never seen anyone more courageous in battle than you were today."
After a moment, he continued, his eyes still intensely locked onto her own.
"You're not weak at all, Kagome, but you are confused. You lie and keep secrets to hide your confusion. You lie to hide from me. You even hide from yourself." She was stunned and baffled by his words. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about Inuyasha," she said, earnestly.
"I think you do," he said, his voice a husky whisper as he brought his mouth to hers in a sudden kiss.
The kiss was not soft or slow, like earlier ones, but hard and deep. He pressed his mouth into hers so insistently she felt the tips of his fangs brush her lips, leaving her breathless. His lips were soft, wet and warm. She tasted him and shuddered with pleasure.
Her heartbeat rose with her excitement. Never had she felt anything like this, she never even dreamed of it. She wanted more, desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, to melt into him and never stop this kiss. This is what she had wanted for so long, and now that it was happening, she didn't want him to stop. She urgently wanted to feel his body close to hers, her need for this feeling and mounting desire for him rising. "Please, don't let him stop now. . . ," her mind willed.
He pulled away, and holding her arms firmly, he watched her pant, trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes almost black with the passion he brought out in her. She was beautiful and he wanted to take her desperately. Seeing her bite back her need for him was almost unbearable. He breathed hard and struggled for control as he willed himself to speak, not kiss:
"You are confused," he repeated. "You need to think. I will give you some time."
She blinked at him in disbelief. Whatever had just happened here was like a dream, unreal. His words made no sense. Yes, she was confused, damn confused. After what he just did to her, she had every right to be.
"Inuyasha, please–what should I think about what just happened now?"
He looked at her and shook his head. "Kagome, you shouldn't think. You should FEEL. This is enough. I'm taking you back, now."
He stood up and waited for her to stand, watching to see that she wasn't still weak. She felt weak, as she stood, but from the passion of his kiss and her spinning thoughts, not from the day. The drink and nourishment he gave her allowed her spiritual abilities to heal her body much quicker than most people. She wasn't back to full-strength, but she wasn't in danger of getting sick anymore either.
'I'm only in danger of wanting what I can't have. He has no idea what he does to me, how I feel about him still. I want HIM–so much, he's all I want. I wish. . . . NO! NO! I won't do this! I won't wish for what I can't have. I'm not a child anymore. I just have to make him stop. He's too amazing and I want him too much. I'm here for a reason, and loving him isn't it–not the way I want to love him now.'
Her mind raced with raw emotions and confusion as he encircled his arm around her waist and leapt into the sky, heading back to Kaede's once more.
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