Golden
What is this? I don't understand what this is. Why am I feeling like this now?
On the ground against the pure, white desert sand lies a golden coronet. The brutal light of the sun reflects off of the gold, dyeing the sand a similar golden shade. Golden? Something else was golden too…
I remember then, floating in this empty space where I have neither form nor consciousness.
Golden. A ray of sun that reaches down from the heavens, freeing me. For so long I have been alone in that dark place for reasons that I can't seem to recall, even now. A place where everything that I touch dies. A place where memories of my past lie, intangible, at the outer reaches of my mind. A place where itis so dark that any light at all was welcome. My prison. That's why it was so strange when he came.
Golden. It was warm and golden like that sun I had not seen in so long. A golden warmth that chased away all of the dark things of both my past and my present. It was slightly familiar, that golden ray of sun was, but not enough for me to remember anything. It was merely enough to let me know it was safe.
A hand, tentative and barely steady, reached out to touch that golden ray of light. Reaching out and then…then the eternally binding chains fell off. I remember that moment even now. I was finally free.
I float once again in this black void, unaware of it all, until then…
Memories from an even greater time age come back to me now in fragments. So long ago. Even longer than that dank, dark cavern. Memories so faint and flitting that they barely touch my mind before they fade again into oblivion. Faces falling in and out of existence in my mind. Kind, gentle eyes, a cocky smirk, golden hair, and then, from out of the darkest oblivions of my mind comes a face, lonely and so full of longing, with hands, reaching, trying to reach out to me. Such longing startles me even now. In that second, impulsively, I wanted to reach out, to help. I knew what it was to long for something. I could understand such longing. So close. But before our hands could touch I am ripped away into the icy darkness once again.
I want to hold on. I want to stay and ease the loneliness so similar to mine, but I can't stay. The rage is coming, boiling my blood, singing seductively through my mind. Blind rage that can overthrow my already unstable consciousness. I want to hold on to these memories, but I am unable to.
I reach out one more time, trying to grasp the last remnants of a pleasant dream
A futile effort.
I fall into the abyss of blind rage, with only the single thought of that golden ray I want to protect so badly.
Sanzo…
Author's Note: This was written in Goku's voice. I will be writing four more short blurbs in the other character's voice. This will make no sense if you don't understand what happened 500 years ago in Tenkai. I am aware of the Sanzo/Goku pairing that is very popular out there. This is a "read as you will" fic, meaning that I did not purposely write it with the intension that it be shounen-ai, but take it was you will. I am sorry if the tenses are hard to understand, as it switches in the middle, but I tried my best. The past tense is in the italics
Please read. Please review. Flame me if you will, just give me some feed back.