Fragile
It's very easy to break. People are fragile, and they break very easily. I was broken very easily, but now, I think I have been broken again.
I hate the feeling of impotence.
Golden eyes lost in a terrible rage. I can see the rage. Eyes full of rage, a familiar sight. I can remember everything about her. Eyes full of rage, and hatred,always directed straight at me. I'm still not quite over it all. I still haven't gotten over it yet. I still have the scars she gave me across my face. I can still remember her.
And his eyes serve as nothing but a reminder.
I could put up with a lot of pain back then. I can still put up with a lot of pain now. It's almost disgustingly easy to ignore. What I can't put up with is eyes full of such rage.
It makes me want to weep.
How can someone hate this much?
I've never been quite comfortable with seeing hate in the eyes of those I care about. I've never been quite comfortable with myself. I was born as something disgusting. Half youkai, half ningen. Something strange, something heretical, something that nobody in their right mind could love. My mother had shown me that quite well. I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to make her proud of me. It was an ineffectual attempt. In the end she hated me, and she even wouldhave killed me if he hadn't been there.
Jien.
My brother, my shelter, my only friend. He was the only one who didn't look at me with contempt. He was the only one that didn't look at me with those eyes full of hatred. He was my brother, and I was his, and he would treat me as such. It was the only thing I could cling to at the time. My only solace for my fragile mind.
Jien is't here right now though.
And Iam once again confronted with eyes full of rage.
A kick, and all of the air bursts out of my lungs. I amso fragile, in both body and mind.
What I would have given to forget the pain of my fragility.
Why aren't you here to help me right now, Jien? The day she died you died too, but I still need you, my brother, to help me, to accept me.
Because the one that I think of as a brother is trying to hurt me, as he just hurt you, or what's left of you. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn't, because I still need you to protect me.
Brother, I'm still fragile, I don't want to be alone.
Falling into darkness, I can only think now of the one I used to rely on to save me.
Brother…
Disclaimer: Okay, this is a fanfic, meaning, it's written by fans. Saiyuki isn't mine. I know I forget it in the past chapter, but ditto for that chapter too. Even if you sued me you'd get no money anyway.
Author's Note: Here was my best shot at writing Gojyo. Gojyo is my least favorite character, so it was hard for me to write him. I hope I did a passable job. Oh, and in this little blurb, there is not implied shounen-ai. Gojyo's relationship with Goku is strictly platonic. Goku is Gojyo's little brother, like Gojyo is Jien's little brother, that's it.
I'd greatly appreciate a review, but I'm going to write this no matter what, reviews or not. Still, feedback is nice, and I don't get hardly any at all.