The Switch: Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Warning: This chapter contains lots of evil and strange stuff. Like a short glimpse of Sesshomaru, an implied Jaken-beating, a wicked and flaming Kikyo, a crazy kitsune, Sango's infamous glare of death, and the return of the stolen (or was it) ramen. If any of these things scare you, you probably shouldn't read this chapter.
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In case you forgot: When I say Miroku, I mean Miroku in Inuyasha's body.
When I say Inuyasha, I mean Inuyasha in Miroku's body.
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"Rin. Where did you learn words like those?" Sesshomaru asked, a dangerous note in his voice.
Remembering that Shippo told her not to tell where she learned her new words, Rin answered "Um… I heard Jaken say it."
"Never say dirty words like those again, Rin."
"Okay, Lord Sesshomaru." The two left and after a few minutes, the screams of a green froglike creature could be heard in the distance.
After everyone stopped laughing, Kagome gave Shippo a stern look. Shippo did his best to appear cute and innocent. "You shouldn't teach Rin words like those," Kagome scolded.
"It's not my fault you guys say stuff like that."
Kagome glared at Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango. "He's an innocent child. You should be more careful about what you say around him."
"Innocent my… never mind," Inuyasha muttered.
Shippo stuck his tongue out. "He's just a kid, he imitates the stuff we do. So we have to set a good example for him."
"Yeah, right. It's not like he acts perverted or hides his feelings or cries all the time." This earned Inuyasha 3 glares.
Miroku hung his head in mock shame. "I'm sorry. I'm the one who swears. Besides, I also let my anger out by fighting people and calling them names. Please forgive me, Kagome. What was I thinking, doing things like that in front of Shippo?"
Everyone stared at him until Kagome breaks the silence, an upset look on her face. Her voice quivered slightly when she spoke. "Inuyasha, I just don't understand you sometimes."
Oh no. She's gonna cry. So much for my smart idea. I wonder how she found out. Miroku gulped. Sango blushed. Inuyasha curled his hands into fists at his sides. Shippo asked "Huh?"
Suddenly, Miroku saw his salvation. Looking somewhere over Kagome's shoulder, Miroku scratched the back of his head and said "Maybe Kikyo can explain." There was a dramatic pause as everyone turned to look at the dead priestess.
"No matter how hard you try, Inuyasha, you will never fool me. I'm taking you to hell with me," Kikyo announced coldly. Besides Sango, everyone else gasped.
"Like this hasn't happened a hundred times already," the demon slayer muttered.
Kikyo aimed her bow at Inuyasha and Sango added "Or maybe not."
"Kikyo, what are you doing?" Kagome asked.
Is Kikyo blind? That's Miroku. Shippo wondered if the dead priestess had been drinking too muck sake lately. He had never really liked Kikyo, she kind of creeped him out. Inuyasha's dead girlfriend who looks kinda like Kagome. That was something that always made the kitsune shudder.Not caring if she was crazy or was on to something, Shippo snuck up to her, hiding in the grass and suddenly used his fox-fire attack at her feet.
Kikyo shrieked in surprise and pointed her bow at Shippo but he had already vanished in the long grass.
Her robes burning and her eyes smoldering, Kikyo vanished, cackling "I'll get you, Inuyasha, and your little fox too."
"What was that all about?" Sango asked, looking confused. Miroku and Inuyasha glance at each other.
Suddenly, it all made sense to Shippo. Maybe it was because he was a child and didn't know something like this was utterly ridiculous. Or maybe he'd been eating too much of Kagome's candy and his mind was coming up with all kinds of crazy ideas. Or maybe Inuyasha's head bashings had finally given the kitsune brain damage. It doesn't matter how, out of the blue, everything was crystal clear to Shippo.
Hopping to Inuyasha's shoulder, Shippo whispered something in his ear. Inuyasha promptly picked him up by the tail and covered his mouth.
Planning for the worst, Miroku asked hesitantly "Uh, can we just pretend today didn't happen? Forgive and forget, like I –er Miroku always says. Right, Miroku?" Stepping on Inuyasha's foot, he gave the others an innocent look.
"Yes. Forgiveness is the path to true enlightenment," Inuyasha added sagely.
Kagome was about to speak but Sango stepped in front of her. "I'll handle this." Glaring at Inuyasha, she commanded "Put Shippo down." When he didn't, Sango's glare intensified. No one escapes my death glare.
Inuyasha just stared back at Sango, unfazed. Ha ha, I'm the master of staring contests. What does she think me and Sesshomaru did as kids?
When she turned the glare of death on Miroku, he panicked. She's going to kill me. She's going to kill me. And then Inuyasha will kill me. Then Kagome will kill me. Then Inuyasha will kill me again. He even tried looking away but he could feel Sango's eyes boring through the back of his head.
Kagome just watched, amazed by Sango's technique. She knew the guys would crack soon and she hoped she could learn something from her friend.
Come on, Miroku, you can do it, Inuyasha cheered silently. Since his captor's attention was on the staring contest, Shippo used his opportunity to bite Inuyasha's hand. After he fell to the ground, he scampered to Kagome and Sango, where he knew he'd be safe.
Sango stopped her death glare when Shippo escaped. Triumphant smiles grew on the two girl's faces while Inuyasha and Miroku looked terrified.
"Okay, Shippo. What did you figure out?"
Damn, he knows we switched. We're dead meat.
At least Inuyasha won't kill me now. Or maybe he will anyway. Miroku sighed.
Shippo savored his moment in the spotlight. Smirking, he explained. "I figured it out when Kikyo was gonna shoot Miroku. See, Miroku's not really Miroku. He's Inuyasha. And Inuyasha isn't really Inuyasha. He's Miroku."
Sango and Kagome glanced at each other, seeming to say This is gonna be good. "Oh really?"
"Yeah, they switched clothes and then Inuyasha cut his hair and Miroku put it on his head. Then they've been trying to be each other."
Miroku laughed weakly. "If I'm Miroku, how did I get ears like these? I guess I pounded you too many times, Shippo."
"Heh heh, kids these days," Inuyasha added with a fake smile.
Sango and Kagome looked at each other and burst into laughter. "Fine. Don't believe me then." Shippo stomped away, grumbling.
While Kagome tried to console Shippo with a can of soda, Sango thought about what he had said. It makes sense, in a weird sort of way. I mean, they obviously didn't switch clothes or whatever… but they have been acting like each other lately. It would explain the fight with Sesshomaru.
The two in question were having a quiet argument at the moment, Sango noticed.
"We have to find it."
"But how?"
"I dunno, but we have to soon. This is not fun."
"You think I like this?"
"We're gonna get killed soon, if not by a demon or your stupid-ness, then by the girls. It's all thanks to Shippo. And you of course," Inuyasha hissed.
Stupid-ness, huh? Miroku needs to work on his vocabulary… if he is Miroku…And I think Shippo was on to something then. They did look awfully worried…
Once they noticed Sango looking at them, Inuyasha and Miroku stopped arguing. "Uh, hi Sango. What's new?" Inuyasha asked, trying to push Miroku away. He knew what was coming. Kagome might let it go for now, but he knew Sango wouldn't let them get away with everything that just happened. And she would have her favorite weapon at the ready. Not the boomerang, her death-glare.
"Oh, I just had a few questions for you two," Sango replied casually. "Like what's going on here?" The death-glare focused on both of them.
Inuyasha just shrugged. "Oh, me and Inuyasha were just disagreeing as usual."
Me and Inuyasha. Strike one. I don't know what strikes are but Kagome says it sometimes. And I know when you get to three strikes, you're out. Whatever that means. In this case, it means I win. Or something.
"Yeah," Miroku agreed. He was starting to fidget under Sango's intense gaze but Inuyasha's coolness helped him calm down.
"I see. Well I hope you guys work everything out." The death glare didn't go away. "Hey Miroku, I was wondering, what was the name of that monk you lived with as a kid?"
"Oh, you mean Mushin?" Miroku asked.
Inuyasha groaned. "She was asking me, not you."
"But she said Mi- Oh, right."
Strike two, Mr. I'm-half-dog-demon-so-I-have-perfect-hearing.
"Oh, Miroku. Not you, Inuyasha. Remember when we were talking about what you had in your pocket? What did you do with it?" Sango turned to Inuyasha to give him the full blast of the glare of death.
"What?" Inuyasha had no idea what she was talking about.
Miroku nearly groaned. Since Sango wasn't looking at him, he tried giving Inuyasha a hint. He tried writing the word in the air but then he remembered Inuyasha probably couldn't read. a/n: I have no idea if he can
"You know, the stuff Kagome gave you."
"Uh…" Inuyasha had no idea what Miroku was doing. First he had been drawing squiggly lines in the air. Now he was pretending to eat something. What the hell is he doing? Finally, it clicked. "You mean… the ramen? KAGOME GAVE HIM THE RAMEN?!?" Now Inuyasha was on his feet shouting.
Sango just smirked. Strike three, you're out. Now I just have to get you to confess.
Putting his head in his hands, Miroku groaned. Kagome and Shippo ran over to see what he was yelling about. "Miroku, I gave you the ramen because we were sick of eating it for dinner."