I was very quiet on Christmas Day. We woke up late, some girls with mascara smudges under their eyes, others, like me, had the foresight to wash their faces before they tumbled into bed. We'd had our fun, our night of being ladies and gentlemen. It was back to being kids and living in a school. Mourning. Last night, somehow, I'd been able to put the fact that my parents were dead behind me, but now, Christmas morning, there was no avoiding it. There were memories everywhere. Missing Christmas presents, no tree with our childhood decorations dangling in pride of place, no waking up and racing into my parents room, never mind the fact that I'm sixteen, to pounce on their bed and wake them at six o'clock.

The sun was out, glittering on the snow across the grounds. I put on my mask, a smile, happy chatter, laughter, just so the others didn't ask questions or offer support. Or, worse, sympathy. Sammy pile her presents up and hauled them into the common room, followed by Hannah and Aoife. Aoife had argued with me until she headed back up the stairs and collected my meager load of parcels, dragging them downstairs.

'Aoife, I can open them later...'

'Nope,' she puffed, dumping them unceremoniously at my feet. 'We'll open them with the boys.'

'Huh?'

You see, after the dance with James last night I had taken a quick walk outside then headed upstairs an hour before the end of the ball. So it seemed like I missed a bit. Somewhere along the line Hannah and Remus had... well, you know, they probably had their own quiet romantic moment thingy. So, they'd hooked up. Sam and Sirius had somehow started arguing and ended kissing. God, I could never even begin to understand those two. Still don't. So I sat, watching the others laugh and tear open presents gleefully, and I laughed in all the right places, but memories were racing through my mind.

I wasn't the only one. James was sitting in the sofa across from me, face drawn, not giving anything away. Even when he looked at me, not one flash of emotion went across his pale face. His hair was messy, yes, but he had ceased that irritating habit of running his hand through it, trying to make himself look cool. I had a sudden urge to talk to him, maybe get to know him, but he had a kind of wall built up. I suppose I had the same. I didn't know if he had any family apart from his parents. Obviously not much, because most of his presents were from his mates.

At about ten o'clock I'd had enough. The happiness and excitement was suffocating, and I needed some fresh air. I stood and grinned down at them.

'Yo, kiddies. I'm just going for a walk, ok?'

Aoife made to stand up. 'I'll come with.'

'Nah, it's ok, really. I think I can walk around the castle now and not get lost.' I winked and she sat back down, unconvinced. I didn't care. There was a part of me almost screaming aloud 'leave me alone!'

I wrapped my cloak around my shoulders as I headed out of the castle, feeling the icy breeze bite the skin on my cheek. There was a little rock wall which over looked the lake, in the lee of the castle. I huddled there, the toe of my shoe scuffing the snow as it swung back and forth, out of the cold wind, and felt one tear trickle down my cheek.

'It's hard, isn't it?'

I sniffed and looked next to me, watching James settle himself beside me on the wall, his face white from the cold, his brown eyes peering at me from behind his glasses. 'You like this view, don't you?'

'I love it,' I said quietly, my voice shaking as I trembled with cold. 'I mean, everything is white and then there's the lake... it's a very pretty contrast...' My voice trailed off. The words were beautiful in my mind, but when you say them aloud it sounds geeky. I giggled softly. 'You probably think I'm being stupid.'

He shook his head, pulling a face. 'Naw, I see what you mean, so it's ok. Besides, I'm not going to make fun of you just because you're a nerd.'

'Thanks, James.'

'Anytime.'

I glanced at him and caught a slight lopsided grin on his face. 'What's so funny?'

He turned and looked at me squarely. 'That is the first time you've ever called me James. Just sounds weird, that's all.'

'Want me to call you Pothead?'

'No, James will do just fine, thanks, Lilikins.'

'Hey!' I pushed him in the shoulder then sighed and resting my chin in my hands, my elbows propped against my knees. 'I miss them so much.'

He didn't answer so I looked across at him and my jaw dropped. His eyes were fixed on his hands, a tear resting on his cheek. He was clenching his teeth tightly, desperately holding on to his self control. Without thinking I draped an arm around his shoulders.

'You know,' he said through his teeth. It sounded like he was trying to break down a brick wall with his bare hands. 'I had a fight with my dad before I came here, this year. It was stupid, he told me to study hard and I usually do, so I defended myself and it got blown out of proportion... I told him I hated him. That was the last thing I ever said to him.'

I could have murmured words of comfort, told him his dad loved him and knew James loved him back. That they were just words, they didn't matter compared to all the years of happy, kind, loving words. But it just doesn't work like that. He didn't need someone to talk over him, tell him how to feel. It was natural to feel guilty; I had blamed myself for my parents' death. I felt like if I hadn't have come to Hogwarts, maybe this wouldn't have happened. So I did the only thing that felt right. Wriggled under his arm and rested my head on his shoulder, letting him pour his heart out. Like I said, I'm not into soppy romance and lovey dovey stuff. But this was... is real. This is life and, sooner or later, this is going to happen. It's amazing, some things that can happen, how the saddest and most heartbreaking thing can bring two people to their senses. And it did, in the middle of Scotland somewhere, surrounded by snow on Christmas day. I made friends with my worst enemy.