My hand is aching. Ha, you should see it, it's covered in ink! And I was just a complete loser and rubbed my forehead, exhausted, and now there's a smear of black ink across my head. I look like a two year old. My baby seems to think so, too; he just gave me a tiny kick. He's getting big, but I have a neat little tummy which I pat affectionately every now and then. Gotta love it. I get tired easily, although I can't help but love being pregnant.

I want to finish this before my baby is born. So, in other words, I want to finish this before the end of this week. I'm scared of the pain but I can't wait to see what my child will look like. Our child. Wow. I mean, wow. I doubt any of you who have not, as yet, been pregnant (and if you're under twenty, I sincerely hope you haven't) understand the feeling… the amazement of creating a baby.

Anyway, back to my story.

I avoided James for about three days after the Quidditch game. He sent me strange looks, but never said a word. After three days I decided I couldn't hide anymore and started to talk to him again, struggling to keep the old naïve friendship, chumminess that we'd always had. I had resolved to concentrate on finishing school, but it seemed my heart was getting the better of me.

Yes, I know you're all groaning and complaining… 'oh, mushy stuff! Yuk!' I know because I'm thinking the same thing. Looking back at my seventh year I tend to drop my head in my hands and go 'what… an… idiot…'

Tests, assignments, essays, lectures, career advice, study advice, teachers' advice, ink, quills, parchment, wands… I was losing my mind. The only chance I got to get away from it all was my solitary walks across the grounds, stopping to chat merrily with Hagrid every now and then. Anything to get away from the stuffiness of that castle. It's incredible how something so huge and spacious can shrink when all you want is to be somewhere else. If I even did. It was one of those can't-stand-to-be-here-but-can't-stand-to-leave things. Way to go, messing with the head, James!

Wow, I don't know what to write now. I don't honestly know whether to skip to the exams and the interesting parts or rabble on, telling one of those stories that seem to go nowhere. But I'm not old yet and heaven forbid I ever turn out that way. So, exactly one year after the altercation between Severus Snape and the Marauders, I found myself, yet again, in the middle of a sea of students, scribbling away with quill and ink, writing everything I could remember about Switching Spells. The writing was tiny and covered already two feet of parchment, after half an hour, and I set down my ink, watching my hand as I flexed it. It was covered with splodges of ink and the ink had run into my cuticles, showing a black outline where skin became nail.

I glanced up and across. Two seats to my left, James had his head bent, hand flying as he wrote feverishly, messy hair sticking up at the back. I couldn't help it, I smiled slightly. He had changed, that was a given, but I missed our old deep and meaningfuls', the huge conversations we used to have about nothing. I didn't look away in time as he paused in his writing and his head shot up, swiveling around, eyes locking on me as if he'd known I was watching him. We stared at each other for a second and I felt my jaw drop as the look on his face changed from deep thought to confusion and hurt. I think we were both stunned at the look on the others' face, so we didn't look away immediately. Eventually I remembered 'hey, I'm in an exam, maybe I should get back to work…' and turned back, picking up my quill, poised to write. But, dammit, I couldn't think. Stupid James, messing up my thoughts halfway through an exam. How dare he look that good?!

'So, how'd you go?' Aoife nudged me in the shoulder and grinned, impish little face lit with suppressed energy. She was slightly taller than me, now, but still the voluptuous, bubbly, rosy cheeked girl I met year before on my first day at Hogwarts. Hannah was now normal size, thank god, so I could look at her without straining my neck. Sammy was as tall as Hannah, loud and rude and bloody good looking. She had Sirius on his knees, it was hilarious.

I groaned softly and rolled my eyes. 'Horrible! I was fine about halfway through then my brain turned to mush.'

'Mush? Where?' Sirius grinned as he jogged up to us, flinging his arm naturally around Sam's waist. James appeared behind him, his brown eyes searching as he looked at me. I'm willing to bet five thousand galleons he was thinking about what had happened in the exam. Not that he'd ever admit it.

'In my head.' I looked away from James and back to Sirius, giving him a wan smile.

'Oh, well that's understandable.'

I zoned out after that. I know we walked slowly down to the lake. I know we sat and chatted for hours. But nothing registered. I'd lost my sister, my parents. My home. And without realizing it, I'd lost James…

Lord, save me. I just reread what I wrote and now I'm in tears laughing about it. What a load of bullshit! Aww, wah wah, heaven forbid, he doesn't want me! Teenage dramas. Well, that's pretty much up to date, skipping the last part. I'll give a quick summary and… no, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have to tell you what happened!