'Do you know what I want to do now?'

Hermione shifted her leg away and gulped. 'Put your shirt back on?'

Ron Makes Love

Harry headed back to the common room after practice. On top of thinking about Hermione, he couldn't shake the sickening mental image of her dating Malfoy - or snogging him, for that matter. Harry was gladly interrupted from these thoughts when he spotted Ron coming out of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom with a miniature cauldron?

'Ron?' Harry called, causing Ron to jump. 'What are you doing?'

'Absolutely nothing!' Ron blurted out, turning red.

'Why were you in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom with a cauldron?'

'No reason!' he said edgily, shifting the cauldron behind his back, but not before Harry noticed a stem of roses sticking out of it. 'Had to go really bad. Couldn't make it to another toilet!'

Hermione...Hermione...get Hermione!

'Ron, is everything okay?'

Ron chuckled nervously, growing consistently redder. 'Of course everything's okay, why wouldn't it be?'

But Harry wasn't fooled. 'Are you up to something?'

'Would you stop interrogating me, Harry!' said Ron accusingly, backing up. 'I already told you, everything's fine! Peachy! Bloody fantastic! All right?'

And he fled away, leaving Harry to wonder.

Malfoy Loves Hermione?

Exhausted, Hermione fell asleep in the library, her head still lying on the open book A Wizards and Witches Guide to Love Made Easy. A sudden movement of footsteps and shuffling woke her up. She lazily lifted her head and peered around. Everyone was leaving the library for dinner. Groaning, Hermione gathered herself together, put the book back in its previous hiding place, and headed reluctantly for the Great Hall.

The stress was really piling on top of her now, to the point of feeling ill. Hermione's love potion remained in the open, and she was helpless to stop it. A series of ominous events played out in her head: she'd turn herself in. She'd be expelled and stripped of her wand. Harry would hate her for contaminating him, and never speak to her again. She could see her parent's disappointed faces when she arrived home early, dragging her suitcase behind her...

On second thought, Hermione decided she couldn't face the Great Hall. Despite feeling viciously hungry, she didn't want to be caught blubbering all over her meal. She was weeping by the time she entered the Gryffindor common room, only to find...

'MALFOY!' she shrieked in alarm. He was standing by the fire - waiting for her, apparently. 'Are you mad? How did you get in here?'

'I made a first year give me the password if I did his homework for a month,' he explained, slowly making his way towards her. 'I saw you weren't going to dinner, so I figured you were coming up here instead. I've been dying to see you...'

He sped towards her suddenly, lips primed to strike, but Hermione pushed him back from his goal.

'Malfoy, stop! Can you just go? Please? I really don't need this right now,' she said in a tired voice, rubbing tears from her face.

'Hermione, you've been crying!' said Malfoy, horrified, as if there could be nothing worse.

'I know, but I'm fine. Just go!'

'You have to sit down!'

'No, really! It's no big deal, just - AH!'

Hermione yelped as Malfoy lifted her up, clean off the floor, and plopped onto the armchair by the fireplace. Next, he knelt down in front of her, worry written all over his face.

'No more crying, Hermione, you hear me? Someone didn't make you cry, did they? If they did, I'll be happy to turn them into a skrewt's backside for you.'

Hermione couldn't stop thinking how warped this all was. Malfoy and chivalry in the same context? Malfoy worried about her crying? Just a harmless little ferret, really.

'No, Malfoy, nobody made me cry,' she lied. 'Can you go now?'

'Call me Draco,' he said in a smooth voice, and to Hermione's dismay, didn't leave. 'Even when you cry you turn me on, you know.'

Just when you think the ferret is harmless...

'Malfoy, I mean Draco!' said Hermione, feeling a headache coming on. 'Just shut up, all right? You really don't know what you're saying!'

Hermione attempted to stand, but Malfoy inclined her back down. He wasn't finished yet.

'I got a surprise for you,' he said, a cheeky glint in his eye. Hermione gulped. That doesn't sound good.

'A...surprise?"

But what Malfoy did next Hermione couldn't have prepared for. He stood up and undressed right in front of her! Well, he only undressed the top half, but still! How was his bare chest meant to be a surprise?

'Malfoy, for heaven's SAKE!' said Hermione, leaping to her feet and trying to stop him from going any further. 'You have to leave, now!'

'It's all right, Hermione!' said Malfoy, determined to stay. 'I just want to show you my new tattoo.'

Hermione's illness peaked.

'Tatt...oo?'

Malfoy turned his back to her. There, on his naked left shoulder, was a little Snitch with moving, fluttering wings. Written inside it, in bold calligraphy, was her name, 'Hermione', plain and clear.

'So,' said Malfoy, turning back around with a proud expression. 'What do you think?'

What did she think? Hermione sank back down onto her armchair, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed. She couldn't take this anymore!

'Hermione?' said Malfoy, kneeling down again. 'I know it's overwhelming, but I really think we should be together.'

Hermione stared up at him gravely, her face wet with tears. 'Mal...I mean Draco! You stupid git, you don't want to be with me, okay? In fact, you'd rather swallow a bucket of troll bogies then even think of coming near me! You hate me! This is all a potion! You're totally out of your mind!'

'A potion?' he said humoursly. 'That's not possible, Hermione. I've wanted you since third year, ever since you slapped me in the face. Remember? I thought, "this girl's deliciously feisty!", and I've fantasised about you ever since. I know I come off cold sometimes, but it's just because you're a Muggle-born. Though I seem to be over that now, strangely enough. I'm also pretty sure I'm in love with you. I concluded that this morning.'

Hermione didn't know what to say, or think anymore. First Harry's loved her since last year, and now Malfoy's imagined doing god only knows with her for almost two years?

'Hermione...' he purred, sliding a hand up her lower leg. 'Do you know what I want to do now?'

Hermione shifted her leg away and gulped. 'Put your shirt back on?'

Malfoy shook his head and rose up. For a split second, Hermione thought he was about to leave, but then he bent over her and whispered, in a delicate hiss, 'make love to you. Right here, on the floor!'

Malfoy's hands went to his belt buckle, just as Hermione leapt to her feet for a second time. This was definitely Malfoy's cue to leave, she resolved. The shirt had been quite enough, she didn't need to see the pants go too!

'Draco, I think it's time you had some dinner! In fact, I insist you go!'

Hermione dragged Malfoy towards the portrait hole, but to no avail. He turned and grabbed hold of her, coiling her tightly in his arms.

'You're my dinner, Hermione. I'm craving you,' he said ravenously, and practically sucked on her neck. Hermione felt suffocated to say the least.

'Malfoy! I mean, Draco, stop!' she demanded sternly, walking backwards. He moved with her, denying her efforts to escape. 'Don't ! Draco!'

'Hermione...' he moaned into her neck.

'Draco, you git !'

'Hermione!'

'Malfoy!'

'Hermione!'

'HERMIONE!'

Thump!

Hermione had walked backwards into a footstool and fallen over. Malfoy had fallen too, landing on top of her (he was very pleased at this). When Hermione looked up, she saw her two best friends gaping down at her. This will be awful hard to explain...

Malfoy also looked up, and smirked when he saw Harry and Ron's scandalised faces. He took particular enjoyment in seeing Harry. 'Something the matter, gentlemen?'

'Something the matter?' repeated Ron, blood racing to his head. 'Is something the matter he says?' Ron took a deep breath, and dived into a thundering rage. 'THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT MATTER HERE I COULD MAKE A LIST! Would you like to hear it?'

But before anyone could answer...

'ONE! YOU'RE IN PRIVATE GRYFFINDOR QUARTERS! TWO! YOU'RE HALF NAKED! THREE! YOU'RE LYING ON TOP OF HERMIONE! FOUR! YOU'RE HALF NAKED !'

'You said that already,' Malfoy reminded him.

'SHUT UP!'

Hermione threw Malfoy off her, stood upright, and attempted to calm Ron down. The last thing she needed was the whole of Gryffindor in the common room as well. 'Ron, quiet! Listen, I have to tell you something. This is all fake, Malfoy's not really !'

'Yeah, he's on love potion. I know!'

Hermione's mouth shut.

'Ginny told me. She figured it out,' said Ron, answering the quizzical look on Hermione's face. 'Nice going, Hermione!'

'It's no potion!' voiced Malfoy, standing tall. 'I am genuinely in love with Hermione Granger!'

'Oh, bloody hell!' cried Ron, still red in the face. 'This is completely disgusting this is! What next? Crabb and Goyle running around here half dressed too?'

But Ron's anger subsided as he found himself unwillingly lost in Hermione's brown eyes. His thoughts were taken over...

Hermione...Hermione...get Hermione!

'Ron?' said Hermione, furrowing her eyebrows at him. He seemed to have gone into some kind of trance. 'Ron, are you okay?'

He didn't answer, just gawked at her blankly. Before Hermione could think any more on the matter, she caught sight of Harry who...who was about to jump out of a window? Hermione screamed, 'HARRY, NO!' and hurtled herself towards him, forcing him back down. 'Oh my god, Harry!' she gasped, hardly catching her breath. 'What on earth were you thinking?'

Harry gave Hermione the most heartbreaking look she'd ever witnessed. It was painful. She felt like crying again.

'I'm killing myself,' he said sadly. 'If you love Malfoy, you'll want to be with him. And if you're with Malfoy, I'd rather be dead!'

Harry lunged for the window.

'NO!' Hermione shouted, tugging hard at the back of his shirt, almost tearing the fabric. Then Ron, who regained some sense, quickly interceded.

'Harry, stop being a right lunatic!' he yelled, helping Hermione wrench Harry away. 'You can't go jumping out of the window, you'll make a mess on the fresh lawn!'

Harry struggled to break free.

'Let go of me, Ron! I love Hermione, and if she doesn't love me, I'm going to die!'

Hermione needed to say it. Before it was too late...

'Harry, stop! I LOVE YOU!'

'You what?' Malfoy and Ron said together.

Harry's struggling ceased immediately. Ron, in shock from Hermione's sudden declaration, unknowingly let Harry go. Harry turned towards her, his heartbreaking expression replaced with a glow of sheer happiness. He took hold of Hermione's hands and said, quite breathlessly, 'you love me? You mean it, Hermione? You really mean it?'

As she looked into his bright, green eyes, Hermione felt an odd mixture of guilt and something she couldn't quite place. Harry was happy...she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Harry so happy...

'Well, that's it,' came Malfoy's cold voice. 'If Hermione's with Potter, I'm killing myself!'

Malfoy lunged for the window.

'Great, not again!' said Ron. Hermione tore herself away from Harry and jumped in front of Malfoy, blocking him. As much as she despised Malfoy, she wasn't going to be responsible for his death.

'Draco, stop! I...erm...'

Hermione couldn't bear to look at Harry. I can't believe I'm going to say this...

'I love you...too.'

'Eh!' said Ron, sickened.

'No...' croaked Harry in disbelief, his happiness waning. 'Hermione, what do you mean you love him too?'

'Yeah, Hermione!' said Malfoy, folding his arms. 'You can't be in love with both of us. You have to choose!'

Only now could Hermione truly appreciate why love potions were so dangerous! She looked from Harry, to Malfoy, to Ron, petrified. To her relief, Ron spoke up.

'Okay, okay, just take it easy! Hermione loves you both, so let's all relax and keep the death count down. All right?'

'All right,' said Malfoy.

'Really?' Ron hadn't expected that to work.

'Yeah...' he said, casting a sly look in Harry's direction. 'You remember our deal, don't you, Potter?

Harry nodded. Tomorrow's Quidditch match would be the time and place to fight for Hermione, not now. Malfoy donned his shirt and left. Harry soon followed. He had a final Quidditch meeting to attend to before bed. In the mean time, Hermione, feeling thoroughly fatigued, crumpled to the floor.

'What do you think they meant by "our deal" ?' said Ron curiously, once Harry left.

'Oh, I don't know!' Hermione whimpered. 'I don't care anymore! Please don't talk about it.'

Ron stared down at Hermione sprawled out on the floor; her left arm flopped hopelessly over her eyes. She was a right mess.

'You better get up,' he advised her. 'Dinner's finished now, people will be in here soon. You look like you've fainted, or something.'

'I have,' she droned, making no effort to move.

'Hermione, cheer up! At least there weren't any suicides. Mind you, it would've been cool to see Malfoy dive bomb out the window...'

HermioneHermioneHermioneHermioneHermione!

'I'm such an idiot!' said Hermione gloomily, flinging her arm away and looking up at Ron. 'I wish Ginny never gave me that stupid potion! Do you have any idea how it screws with your head?'

'Er, can't say that I do...'

HERMIONEHERMIONEHERMIONEHERMIONEHERMIONEHERMIONE!

'Ron, what's the matter?' asked Hermione. Ron had gone weird again. His face was screwed up, and he was pressing his palm into his forehead, as if he were trying to push something out through the other side.

'Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm fine,' he said, clearing his throat and quickly removing his palm. Hermione eyed him strangely.

'Why were you doing that to your head?'

'Just a...headache, that's all. Say, Hermione, do you want a drink or something? You look like you could use a drink.'

Hermione yawned.

'No. I think I'll just go to bed,' she said groggily, and slowly stood back up. 'I'll see you later, Ron. Goodnight.'

But before she could walk to the stairs, Ron darted out in front of her. 'Are you sure? Really, it's no trouble! I was thinking of having a drink myself. I can get you anything you want! Butterbeer...pumpkin juice...tea, how about tea?'

Hermione cocked an eyebrow at him. Since when did he get so generous?

'Um, no, but thanks anyway,' she said finally, and headed up to her room, wanting nothing more then to leave this day behind.

Ginny Visits Hermione

Hermione lay awake beneath her sheets while her roommates dressed and headed to breakfast, making no attempt whatsoever to get up. In fact, she refused to get up. If today was going to be anything like yesterday, she was going to stay in bed until they expelled her and kicked her out.

The bedroom door creaked open. Footsteps were coming towards her... Hermione flicked the sheet off her head and saw Ginny holding a cup of tea.

'Hi, Hermione,' said Ginny, sitting at the end of Hermione's bed.

'Hi, Ginny,' Hermione replied in a flat voice, retreating back under her sheets. 'Hope you're having a better morning then I am.'

Hermione heard Ginny sigh, before offering her the tea she'd brought. 'Ron made it for you.'

'Thanks, but I'm not thirsty. I had a glass of water earlier. I'm pretty hungry, though.'

As if on cue, Hermione's empty stomach lurched audibly.

'See what I mean?'

'Come and have some breakfast then,' she heard Ginny say.

'Can't,' said Hermione point blank. 'I've decided to lay here forever.'

Hermione felt Ginny's weight shift up the bed.

'Don't talk like that. You have to come out some time.'

It was Hermione's turn to sigh. She pulled her sheets away again, and peered over at Ginny with tired eyes.

'You're right. I'm being silly. It's just...I can't take it anymore! This love potion's really weighing me down. I mean, Malfoy loves me, for crying out loud. And Harry...he could've committed suicide last night!'

'I know. Ron told me all about it. It's is all my fault!' said Ginny woefully. 'I should never have given you the potion. I was just so desperate to get it away from me. You'll be happy to know Ron's taken care of it.'

That sparked Hermione's attention. 'Ron? How did he get it?'

'We stole it from under of your bed yesterday, after we saw you and Harry kissing. I'd already suspected the potion was affecting you, so I took action, but I needed Ron's help. I couldn't take it from you on my own. I had to tell him everything...'

Hermione nodded, but was then rather distraught. 'Wait! Ron didn't throw it away, did he?'

'No,' said Ginny calmly. 'We decided to keep it locked up and return it to mum later, seeing it was hers in the first place.'

'Phew!' Hermione panted, relaxing. Ginny persisted to try and motivate her.

'Come on, Hermione! You can't stay in bed forever, you'll miss the Quidditch match. Gryffindor versus Slytherin, remember? It starts straight after breakfast.'

This managed to brighten Hermione up somewhat. The Quidditch match had totally slipped her mind - as had many things of late. She was determined to see Gryffindor hammer Slytherin, plus Harry and Malfoy would be well occupied. She wouldn't have to worry about them. At least for an hour or two...

'All right,' said Hermione resolutely. 'I'll get up now.'

'Great!' said Ginny with relief, standing up so Hermione could step out of bed. 'I'll let you get changed. Are you sure you don't want this tea Ron made you?'

'No, you have it. I'm sure Ron won't mind.'

Ginny went to leave, but then stopped at the door and turned around.

'Um, Hermione...'

'Mmm?' she murmured, stretching her arms up.

'Is Harry a good kisser?'

Hermione's arms dropped to her sides so fast, Ginny may as well have said 'Petrificus Totalus'.

'I beg your pardon?' said Hermione, more indignantly then intended.

'It's okay,' Ginny assured her. 'I don't like Harry like that any more.'

'Huh? Then...' Hermione started, trying to keep her voice level, 'why would you ask me that?'

Ginny shrugged, her mouth quivering into a smile. 'You looked like you were enjoying it, I guess.'

That was all Ginny said on the matter. After she'd gone, Hermione was left looking very pink-cheeked indeed.

Tea

Ginny went back down to the common room. Ron was waiting for her in an armchair, visibly tense. Actually, for reasons unknown to Ginny, he'd been extremely tense all morning. When he saw her carrying the empty teacup, he bolted up and rushed over to her excitedly.

'Finally, you're back! How's Hermione? Is she okay? She drank the tea, right?'

'No, Ron. Hermione didn't drink your stupid tea. I did.'

Ron's face dropped.

'What's wrong?' asked Ginny, in response to Ron's sudden change of face.

'Wha...wha...wha...' was all he could muster for the moment, before saying, 'wha...what do you mean you drank the tea?'

'I drank the tea, is what I mean,' said Ginny coolly. 'I don't see how you could interpret that in any other !'

'THAT TEA WASN'T MEANT FOR YOU, GINNY!' Ron roared without warning. Ginny's mouth fell open.

'What the hell, Ron?' she said, glaring at him as though he were insane. 'It's just tea you idiot! Get a grip!'

Ron did not heed her advice. His face collapsed into his hands, as he grumbled sorrowfully, 'oh Ginny...what have you done...what have you done?'

The tea Ginny had drunk was not just tea at all. It was, to Ron's complete and utter dismay, his Aphora Bewitching Potion.

Yay! That's always been favourite chapter. Hope I didn't spoil it by saying that... :) Thanks again to all the readers and reviewers! Especially the ones who come here regularly. You make the story worth writing.