Chapter One
Fading
The day started to fade into the night.
This I saw through the thin curtains the covered my window. It made me sigh deeply. It reminded me of the broken pieces that lay scattered before my eyes.
It has been long since we have spoken. So many days and night have gone by without a trace of understanding.
The last thing I had said to her was this: "If that is what you wish, such shall be granted. I shall not stand in your way."
Ever since those last words, we have both been silent. Neither one of us attempted to tie the bonds that had come undone. It was I who had been the cause for the distance.
"I am so sorry…" My voice seemed to fade into nothingness – into oblivion. I knew that the person I missed the most could never hear these words.
The quill I held in my hand had been given by this person.
It was just an ordinary quill. It was the kind you could borrow from your professor when you forgot your own. She had given it to me after she learned that one particular professor threatened the loss of 50 precious points if there was another student who asked for a quill to borrow.
I almost unwillingly accepted it, but with the threat in mind, I really couldn't – shouldn't – refuse.
I could feel a smile sneak past the frown that had been on my face for the past few days. There were more memories; every single one of them included her.
We had once been happy.
There were many nights when she would get scared and ask me to guard her as she slept. I thought it was adorable of her to admit that fear.
I too had my own series of nightmares, but I knew how to keep them inside. But she was weaker, much more vulnerable to the horrifying images that would not go away.
Every time she asked me, I would do as she requested. I'd stand guard to the evil spirits that tormented her closed eyes.
I made sure that her dreams would not cause her to awake when sleep was dearly needed.
In the darkness, your smile hides
I try to find it deep inside
But somehow it cannot escape
Will I never see it upon your face?
The letter I had been writing was finished. I tucked it into an envelope and set it beside an empty cage. Its occupant would not be expected until later that night.
The sun had set long ago. The only source of light in the room was a few candles and the light that the moon had given.
It was all very serene; quite the opposite compared to the emotions that battled inside of me.
I was going to send her a letter.
I made it sound as though I was unaffected by our last 'conversation'. I asked how she was at the Academy, mentioned some of the events she had missed, and wished her happiness; that was all that my letter contained, yet every stroke of the quill was a stab.
I felt like everything I put in that roll of parchment was a lie.
I was not telling her that she was the most important person in my life. All I was saying was 'Good luck on your new life', and that wasn't what I felt exactly.
I wanted something to happen; something tragic enough to make her realize that she shouldn't have left.