What a Strange and Mysterious Thing It Is
Disclaimer All characters and references to Harry Potter mythology are the sole property of the amazing J.K. Rowling. I write for fun only, besides lawyers make me nervous.
Summary: Following the death of Sirius, truths emerge from everywhere. Harry must learn to cope with them and perhaps find what he has been seeking. This story, in keeping with the style of Ms. Rowling, is in Harry's point of view. It is mostly about Harry and Professor McGonagall, but there is a lot of AD/MM as well. It is rated PG-13 for some violence in later chapters. Please read and review! Enjoy!
A/N: Okay, this chapter is a lot shorter than the last which, depending on your point of view, may or may not be a good thing. The last two chapters or so I have been getting a lot of questions and comments regarding certain things that have been happening. So I think I'll just clear them up quickly:
1. Some of you have asked what the Gryffindor password means. "Narro Veritas" is Latin meaning "I speak truth," though I wouldn't doubt if there are some Latin purists out there tearing their hair out over my grammar. But somehow I thought this seemed appropriate.
2. This one surprised me a bit. It is absolutely NOT Minerva's fault that Petunia mistreated Harry for all those years. Yes, she had a big turn around after receiving Lily's letter, but just remember what Professor Dumbledore says in Chamber of Secrets, "It is our choices who define who we truly are..." I agree with this wholeheartedly. Minerva made a choice not to give Petunia the letter, Petunia made the choice to act so foul. She could have had the letter all along and still abused Harry, I do not think these two events really hinge on one another. That was certainly not my intention anyway.
3. Just a thought on the relationship bit...A lot of you seem to think that I am a Harry/Hermione shipper. Logical assumption, but not really the case. After all, I put her together with Ron didn't I? To be honest, in the series I actually think that Hermione will end up with Ron, though I think she would be a better match with Harry. In truth I really enjoy all the relationship arguments, but I don't have a favorite...yet.
4. Will there be an epic battle with Voldemort at the end? All I'll say to this is: Maaaaybeeee.
5. And lastly, will Harry and Dumbledore begin healing from their heartaches? Well, unfortunately, there are more of those in store.
Just one more thing before we jump into the next chapter. I need to give a nod to all of my latest reviewers. Many thanks this time around to Liat1989, mugglemin, BlindJedi, Lou. McGonagall, QuillofMinerva, EJC, duj, and Neoma!
Chapter Six: Secrets
A few weeks later Harry, Ron, and Hermione were finishing up Care of Magical Creatures class by helping Hagrid corral the nogtails they had been studying. Hagrid, feeling quite pleased with his sixth years, was beaming.
"Tha' was a good class! I hope yeh learned a lot," he stated boisterously.
"Of course we did, Hagrid!" Ron exclaimed sheepishly, his eyes twinkling in Hermione's direction.
"Yeah," Harry agreed. He smiled even more when Hagrid looked more pleased by his young friends' assurances. However, Harry soon became distracted by a glimmer of movement down by the lake at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Harry turned to look toward the water's edge hoping he could see what had caught his attention. He could only just make it out but he was convinced that it was...
"Professor Dumbledore," Hagrid replied finishing Harry's thought. "I've seen him walking 'round the lake a lot lately."
"Hagrid, Professor Dumbledore doesn't usually wander around the grounds does he?" Harry asked.
"On'y when he's worried about summat or has a lot on his mind," the giant man answered. "Such a good man, Dumbledore. Pity he's feelin' troubled. Always there fer ev'ryone else, wish more were there fer him."
"Yes," Harry said absent-mindedly.
Having left Hagrid, the three friends were making there way back to the castle for lunch before Double Transfiguration. Before Harry knew it they were already sitting down at the long house table in the Great Hall. Harry automatically glanced up at the head table to see Professor McGonagall and other teachers, but Professor Dumbledore was notably absent. Hermione had apparently noticed this as well.
"I wonder where Professor Dumbledore is?" she pondered.
"He's down by the lake," Harry thought aloud.
"What?" Ron declared, perhaps louder than he had intended as he leaned closer to Harry before he continued. "How do you know?"
"I saw him. He was walking around the edge of the lake at the end of Care of Magical Creatures," Harry responded. Ron seemed perfectly happy with this response, but Hermione looked to Harry in question. Apparently she too had suspected that Dumbledore usually didn't peruse the grounds outside the castle, and found this information odd. Harry just raised his eyebrows in answer to her silent inquiry, but he had the suspicion he knew exactly why the Headmaster was so detached.
With lunch over, the trio picked up their bags and made there way out of the Great Hall. "We'd better hurry," Hermione scolded, "or we'll be late for Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall promised we'd be doing something really exciting today!"
"You think turning rocks into marbles would be absolutely enthralling," Ron teased mimicking her voice perfectly. Hermione was not amused, but rather shot daggers at him. Trying to rectify his status with his girlfriend, Ron recovered quickly, "Oh, relax, beautiful. McGonagall hasn't even left the head table yet."
Harry was entirely amused by Ron and Hermione's exchange even if Hermione hadn't been. The smirk was quickly wiped off his face, however, when they found Malfoy and his cronies in the Entrance Hall. Malfoy must have just said something entirely entertaining because the crowd of Slytherins were all laughing uproariously, which to Harry was never a good thing.
"Oh, look," Malfoy drawled. "here's Dumbledore's golden boy."
"Shove off, Malfoy," Ron glared narrowing his eyes to an astonishing level.
"Not very nice, Weasley," Malfoy smirked. Crabbe and Goyle just guffawed stupidly. "What's with Dumbledore anyway?" Harry knew he was trying to provoke him, however, it didn't make the arrogance of Malfoy any easier to tolerate. "I see he wasn't at lunch. The old fool's probably so senile now that he can't even remember what time it is. Arggghhhhhh!"
Harry could not hold back any longer. He sprang upon Malfoy before Ron and Hermione could stop him. Crabbe and Goyle must have been as equally surprised by Harry's attack as they simply stood staring at their leader being beaten with their mouths agape. It was not until a strong hand seized Harry by the neck and dragged him upwards that Harry was prevented from continuing his assault. He assumed that either Crabbe or Goyle had finally snapped out of their stupor and Harry whirled around to intensify his fight on whoever was coming between his fist and Malfoy's face. He only just stopped himself from swinging at this new obstacle before he realized it was Professor McGonagall. She was looking stunned that Harry had almost hit her, but Ron and Hermione looked completely horrified. Harry felt sure he knew what they were thinking for it was also in his mind. This is it, I'm going to be expelled. I almost punched my Head of House for crying out loud.
It took a few moments for McGonagall to respond. Malfoy was being helped up by the other Slytherins who were coming far too late to his aid. "Ex-explain yourself!" Professor McGonagall spat. She was more angry than Harry had ever seen her. He also knew she had reason to be. He did not answer her, he was too afraid to bring up what Malfoy had said about Dumbledore in McGonagall's presence. He worried that he might let something Dumbledore had shared slip. Harry did not want to take the risk of embarrassing Dumbledore or McGonagall in the presence of the murderous looking Slytherins.
"Very well, Potter," McGonagall continued still seething. "You will have a week's worth of detentions with me starting Friday. What have I said about controlling your temper? Seeing as that makes no difference I am also taking fifty points from Gryffindor."
"But Professor!" Ron stammered looking mutinous. "Malfoy was just-" Ron quickly shut his mouth once Hermione noticed Harry's widened eyes and panicked expression and elbowed Ron in the ribs. McGonagall was too busy glaring from student to student to notice this, but it had the desired effect.
"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" Professor McGonagall asked sounding exasperated.
"Um, nothing," he finished lamely. Malfoy looked as if Christmas had come early.
"Now get to class," the professor shouted surveying all the students milling around the Entrance Hall hoping to overhear the situation. "All of you!" The students scattered and with that, the Gryffindor head whirled around on her heel and stormed upstairs.
"That McGonagall!" Ron raged minutes later. "A week's worth of detentions and fifty points? What's she playing at? Malfoy needs a good beating once in a while." Harry smiled at Ron's indignation on his behalf, but was secretly relieved. He would have much rather faced the detentions with an enraged McGonagall than to have her discover anything about what Malfoy had said.
"Oh, honestly, Ron," Hermione broke in, "Harry really shouldn't be fighting. He almost hit Professor McGonagall too, remember?" It was Ron's turn to shoot the daggers.
"Are you defending Malfoy after what he said?" Ron asked in disbelief.
"Of course not!" Hermione shot in her defense. "But Harry, why didn't you tell Professor McGonagall what Malfoy said?"
Harry looked up at his friends at last. "I just couldn't, and I can't tell you either," he said seeing the confusion on their faces. He quickly turned and entered the Transfiguration classroom before they could offer a rebuttal.
Transfiguration had proved to be a long class that day indeed. Harry was feeling intensely relieved when the bell finally rang announcing the end of classes for the day. But before he could get away McGonagall's stern voice caught him.
"Potter, you will stay a few minutes," she announced. Ron and Hermione were floating by the door hoping to stay for their friend. "Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley, carry on," McGonagall stated harshly. Ron's eyes narrowed again but followed orders as Hermione dragged him out the door.
"Sit down Potter."
"Yes, Professor," Harry stated feeling dejected. He dropped into the desk he had shared with Neville a few moments ago.
"Now, Potter," McGonagall began as she half sat, half leaned upon the desk before him, "now will you tell me what happened before with Malfoy in the Entrance Hall?"
"I can't." It was all Harry could muster.
Professor McGonagall sighed and closed her eyes. "Potter...Harry," she continued more softly. "Harry, I fear for you if you proceed to allow young Mr. Malfoy to get to you. Professor Dumbledore and I can only protect you so much. If the school governors hear of your continual fighting with Mr. Malfoy they may decide to expel you, and if that happens, there may be little we can do about it." She paused to allow him to reflect for a few minutes.
"Harry, I want you to listen to me very carefully," she said and Harry looked up to meet her eyes at last. "I must ask you to please, please control – your – temper."
"I promise," he said weakly.
"Very well," McGonagall stated apparently satisfied. She stood and walked behind her desk. "You will be serving you detentions starting Friday. Report to me in my office at 5:00p.m., understood?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Very good. Oh, and Potter?" the Professor remarked with her usual air of sternness. Harry turned to face her in the doorway. "I will hold you to your promise." Harry nodded and left.
As five o'clock approached Friday evening Harry found that he was certainly not dreading it. After dinner he rose from the house table to make his leave for Professor McGonagall's office. Hermione and Ron waved their friend off. When Harry reached the office he knocked on the mahogany door and waited.
"Come in Potter," came McGonagall's stern but calm voice. Harry entered the office and smiled weakly at his Head of House.
"I'm sorry about fighting Professor McGonagall..." he began softly.
"Just as long as you keep your word to me all will be forgiven," she stated smiling gently, his sincerity had obviously touched her.
"What will I be doing?" Harry inquired feeling somewhat better.
"Lines," the professor responded simply. "You may sit."
Harry turned to the desk she had indicated and stopped dead in his tracks. Quickly a terrible, high, girlish voice filled his head.
Tut, tut, I don't seem to have made
an impression yet.
Let's see if you've gotten the
message yet, shall we?
Yes, it hurts, doesn't it?
Harry felt two hands on his shoulders. He snapped out of his reverie to realize that he must have stumbled backward to lean on the door frame for support. Sweat was beading on his forehead and Professor McGonagall was peering into his face quite concerned.
"What is it Potter?" she asked her voice echoing the worry in her expression. He looked toward the desk that revealed a piece of parchment and a black quill. McGonagall followed his gaze and her own rested upon the quill. "What?" she asked again, but her eyes quickly widened with comprehension before Harry could answer. She stepped backward from him covering her mouth with her hands. Harry felt feverish and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He hadn't realized how much the memory of detention with Umbridge had stayed with him, or bothered him.
"She didn't!" McGonagall gasped finally. Harry only nodded. His teacher fell to her knees at his side. "She had a Blood Quill?" Again Harry only nodded. He could not believe that McGonagall would possess one. Sensing this thought of betrayal in his eyes, McGonagall covered her face in her hands again. "Harry," she whispered, "This is not a Blood Quill." He looked at her uncertainly. "Here," the professor said reassuringly. She grabbed the parchment and quill from the desk and scribbled something quickly. Indeed, no wound opened on the back of her hand and she took great care in demonstrating so. Harry sighed relieved.
"Oh, dear Harry," she said pulling him into a surprising hug. "The quill was black because I had an ink bottle break in my desk drawer and a lot of my quills became dyed. Rather than throw them all away, I decided to use them for detentions." She pulled him away from her and wiped the hair from his face tenderly. "I think you were punished enough last year to cover several detentions. Consider mine fulfilled." McGonagall pulled him back to her in another embrace and it is then that Harry saw what McGonagall had scribbled on the parchment earlier.
I would never hurt you, Harry.
"I know you wouldn't," he said quietly.
"What?" Professor McGonagall asked leaning away from him again. Noting that Harry was making no attempt to rise, she had settled herself onto the floor as well. Harry inclined his head to the parchment indicating he had read her message. The professor stared at the paper as though mesmerized by it. She spoke once more, but her attention remained transfixed on the piece of parchment. "Harry, why did you never say anything about what Umbridge did to you? Did she harm you in other ways?" she added abruptly evidently horror-struck. Harry could only imagine what terrors were gracing her thoughts.
"It was more about humiliation for Umbridge," Harry explained. He also noticed that McGonagall was now holding his hand. She was gently stroking it with her thumb. "Yet, she did grab me by the hair and wrenched my neck back as far as it would go."
"When did this happen?" McGonagall whispered.
"When I broke into her office to try and contact..." Harry broke off feeling an uncomfortable lump rise in his throat.
"Sirius."
"Yes," Harry continued, thankful he did not have to say his godfather's name.
"Anything else?" McGonagall prodded.
"Well, she did threaten to use the Cruciatus Curse on me, but Hermione stopped her before she could," the young man explained. For the next three hours Harry allowed the burdens within him to spill out to Professor McGonagall. He told her about everything that happened with Umbridge, and all the things he was feeling regarding the death of his godfather.
McGonagall closed her eyes and covered her face with her free hand. "Harry," she said finally. "I am sorry I was not there for you more last year." Was it guilt he heard in her voice?
"Professor," Harry interrupted soothingly, "don't blame yourself for this. That's why I never told you about what was going on."
"What do you mean?" the professor inquired.
"I was afraid Umbridge would find some way to get rid of you if you stood up to her," he replied. "We needed you here. After Professor Dumbledore had gone, I knew I could handle what she did to me in the time being if it meant the students had the ability to fall back on your strength if needed."
"Even so, I don't feel very strong right now," McGonagall stated sadly. "In fact, I feel I failed you all."
"Professor McGonagall," Harry said shaking his head, "you were a source of strength for us in so many ways, especially for me. You didn't let her give you any crap." Harry paused and he noticed McGonagall lighten up slightly. "The way you backed me in our Career Advice session meant a lot to me. More than I can ever say. What about going completely out numbered to defend Hagrid?"
"You know about that?" the professor interjected surprised.
"Of course," Harry hesitated a moment, "we..er...well, we witnessed it from atop the astronomy tower during our OWL's."
"I'm sorry you had to witness that," Professor McGonagall offered apologetically.
"Don't be, it was one of the bravest things I've ever seen," Harry said firmly.
"It could not have been easy to see," she continued.
Harry reached out and put his hand on her arm. This move made her look up again and their eyes met. "Don't be," Harry repeated.
The tension in the office lifted finally. Neither spoke for awhile lost in his or her own thoughts. McGonagall peered into Harry's eyes for a few moments. "Are you sure you are alright Harry? Can you stand?"
"Yes," he replied, "I'm okay now." The professor assisted Harry to his feet and clutched his arm for support should the need arise. "Professor, I know you said I didn't need to continue my detentions, but I think I should just so Malfoy can't have an excuse to say you were showing favoritism."
"Well, if you are sure that's what you want to do," McGonagall offered.
"I am," Harry answered with a nod. "Besides, it was nice to get to talk to you about...about some things that have been bothering me." Harry's face fell as his own remark made him think of Sirius once more.
"Harry, you can always talk to me if you want. I just wish I could have been there for you at the end of last year," she replied consolingly squeezing his arm. "Well, you had better be off to bed. Have a good evening." Her demeanor stiffened slightly, returning to the student-teacher relationship instead of the much more personal interlude they had just shared.
As Harry left he glanced over his shoulder at his professor. She had returned to her desk and Harry saw just in time Professor McGonagall remove a handful of black quills from her desk drawer and drop them into the trash bin.
Tut, tut, I don't seem to have made an impression yet.
Let's see if you've gotten the message yet, shall we?
Yes, it hurts, doesn't it?
-excerpts from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 13, "Detention with Dolores", pp. 268, 275.