A/N: More randomness for you. Thank you ever-so-much my first reviewer! Don't forget to read the one by Fawks! Her's is great.
The Rabid and Insane Fangirls (I must remind you what the initialism stands for) tramped through the overgrowth in pursuit of Lego-lover. They followed her from the start, because she knew everything there was to know about the Elves and Middle-Earth (they thought), and all they knew was that the blonde Elf (why so tall, if he's and Elf?) was hecka hot! They grumbled and pushed and shoved as they came to a clearing. In the clearing stood the hot guy and Lego-lover. The RaIF immediately erupted into squeals of delight at finding the hot one, and rage of finding Lego-lover with him. They immediately surrounded the pair.
Legolas stared in wonder. He had not been paying attention again. Curses! Holy halibut, there were a hecka lotta them! Legolas stood in the midst of a ring of screeching girls. He pushed Lego-lover away from himself, offering her to the rabid pack. Lego-lover clung to him and looked pitiful.
"Avast, ye fell beasts!" Legolas cried and drew his bow crappa fast. The RaIF pressed closer and the noise level increased. "SILENCE!" Legolas bawled. The creatures settled down.
"Legless, can you shoot your bow for me? It is soooo attractive." One yelled.
"Or kill something with those two cool knife things!" Another shouted, perhaps the casual one.
Soon requests were coming at Legolas from every side. "SILENCE!" He bawled again.
Lego-lover pressed closely to him and whispered in his ear. He addressed the crowd. "Who in the name of Eru do you think I am?" He asked.
"SOOOO HOT!" They chorused.
Legolas shook his head. "Y'all'er whack."
The casual RaIF piped up hopefully. "Wiggidy whack?"
Again he shook his head. "Nope. Jist regular type. Anyway, I am not warm at all; in fact that breeze is kinda chilly." He rambled on. The RaIF stared at him in amazement. Some even began to back away. Just then, the most random thing in this story (so far) happened. Some rather tall treeish things strode into the clearing of this random wood. All the RaIF, Lego-love, and Legolas himself recoiled in fear.
"Barurumm…" One of the treeish things grunted. "Liddle orcs!"
"NOOOO! I don't wanna die! Lego, save me!" Lego-lover threw herself upon Legolas, knocking him off balance. The RaIF eagerly followed Lego-lover's example, completely squishing the poor Elf under dozens of eager bodies. The treeish beings stood and stared.
"Kinda haaasty, doncha thiiiink?" One asked the rest. They nodded slowly. "Anywaaaay, I don't thiiink they aaaare orcs afteeer aaall. They smell odddd." The bark covered thing leaned near the pile of RaIF-covered Legolas. "Have yooou seeeeen any Ents, round abouuuut heeere?"
The effect was immediate, the RaIF scrambled off in terror, leaving the hottest Elf in Middle Earth face to face with the first Entwives in Middle Earth since before the Ents could remember. Yes. I said Entwife. For that is what they were. Randomly appearing in the wood to meet Legolas. Odddd. (The more 'd's, the odder.) Legolas found that his precious bow had been snapped asunder by the weight and handling it had received. He was, of course dismayed, and quite literally quaked in his soft leather boots. Not even Lego-lover had stayed with him.
"Sooo? Have yooou? Punk?" The Entwife prodded. She produced a rather sharp and very large splinter and held it to his neck. "Tell meee, or I'll cuuut your throaaat." She grinned at her perceived cleverness.
It was at this time that Glorfindel showed up, as usual, randomly. "Well, gee, lady. I figured you'd maybe cut his legs off and all, seemings as you have the splinter knife thing at his throat…" He shook his head. "Anyway, I don't think that is a good idea. He's royalty and all, and hasn't seen yer hubby for many years. By-the-by, what has old Treebeard done to TO you so?" (that is 'tick off.' Glorfindel did not believe in cursing.)
The lead Entwife sighed. "Heee leeeeeft meee!" She collapsed in to a sobby wreck in the middle of the clearing. Glorfindel shook his head in wonder and helped Pretty-Boy, I mean, Legolas, to his feet.
Now we will fly back and visit Elladan, or maybe Elrohir? Let's see, choices… Elrohir! Elrohir was following his father as they searched for Elladan who was, as we recall, in turn searching for Legolas. As they tracked the Elf, Elrond spoke constantly to his son.
"The dead faint house, how was it? It worked eh?" Elrohir could only grunt. "Nice. Well, as we can see, it seems that hecka old Elf was living too lives. In one life he was Maedhros the not-so nice, and he did some really crappy crap. He lost a hand, and he threw himself into an abyss of fire. The other life was lived in my realm. He went by Maedhros. Funny, I did not catch that earlier. He lived tenaciously off of my income and then threw himself into another hecka hot place to die. Odddd really." He paused is monotone monologue to ponder briefly. Elrohir rolled his eyes. "Have you ever stared at it? Marveled at its beauty? It's genius? Billions of people just living out their lives, oblivious. Oblivious to Tolkien's world. Sad story."
"Agent Elrond! They are trying to kill him!" A random Elf, (who chose to remain random and nameless) cried. "Ai, ai! Fell beasts!" The terror stricken Elf dashed off into the trees and disappeared.
Elrond stopped and looked after him, puzzled. He shook his head, then turned towards a new noise. One of weeping and gnashing of teeth. Elrohir and Elrond ran towards the noises, recognizing the weeping as Elladan's.
A/N: What fun! Sorry to leave you hanging. Well, no, actually, I am not so sorry. Have fun.