A/N: Well, I don't think I need to keep saying that it is random. That is apparent. However, this may be more so than usual, we'll see.
Elrohir and Elrond found Elladan whimpering like a small child in a clearing with none other than a small fell beast. Let me remind you that these are the ugly flying creatures that the Nazgul (Ringwraiths) rode. Anyway, there was this smallish one that was kinda breathing on Elladan and he was cringing and moaning and almost passed out from its breath. The liddle beastie kept chewing on Elladan's sword. It did not seem to want to chew on him. Elrohir and Elrond drew their own swords upon entering the clearing and the beast looked up and made an exclamation of joy at the new found chew toys. It charged the pair and bowled them over before they could put their weapons to use. The beast, though not fully grown, was quite sizeable; about the size of a smallish elephant, so the two Elves were tossed aside with little effort. The fell beast settled down on it haunches, happily fluttering its ragged wings and gnawing on Elrond's shiny blade. Elrond and Elrohir got to their feet shakily and stared in wonder at the beast. Elladan continued to sob hysterically. It was at that time that the RaIF rushed into the clearing. They were still running from the Entwives. As a mob, they were much more terrifying than the young beast, and the Elves hit the deck in hopes of escaping their attention. It was to no avail. The casual RaIF, who had assumed a sort of leadership position, spotted them and yelled something to the rest about more hot Elfs. (She did pronounce it wrong. She knew no better.) The Three Elves were soon mobbed by the RaIF who still had not seen the beast.
"Oooooo! Look at this one. He is not such a pretty boy as the legless one. And surely much braver." One RaIF said. She had Elladan by a resisting arm.
"This one is hot!" Yelled another. She had Elrohir.
"This one is OLD." Another shouted. She, of course had Elrond.
"This one is hottest." Claimed the first.
"Naw, this one's better." The second said. They obviously did not realize that the two were identical twins and even Elrond could not tell them apart. They continued arguing over the befuddled twins as the fell beast chewed Elrohir's sword and Elrond slipped off into the trees, leaving his sons to their peril. As he vacated the clearing he bumped into Glorfindel who appeared randomly in front of him with Legolas at his side. Apparently the random apearingness is transferable on contact.
"What in the name of Manwe is going on here?" Glorfindel demanded.
Elrond tried to cover up his escape. "I was off to get some stout Elves to save my poor sons. There are a plethora of strange and fell things in this wood." He made as though to pass the two lords.
"Some stout Elves you have found, Master Elrond." Glorfindel proclaimed and drew his sword. Legolas was confused, didn't stout mean fat? He shook his head and started to reach for his bow, but remembering it was broken grabbed his knives instead. "Where is your blade?" Glorfindel asked Elrond.
"It has been taken by a fell beast. I barely escaped with my life." He tried to slip past Glorfindel, but Glorfindel grabbed his sleeve and forced him along with them as they entered the clearing. When Legolas saw the RaIF, he stopped in his tracks and attempted to flee. Glorfindel shoved him ahead and sprang into the fray to rescue the twins. Legolas and Elrond stood at the edge of the clearing and watched as Glorfindel pushed through the squealing girls to his friends. The RaIF immediately latched onto this new hot Elf, and he was forced to drag them along. During this encounter, the fell beast had been happily munching the last of Elrohir's sword. It looked around for more steel and seeing Glorfindel's shining blade, it spread its wings and fluttered into the melee. The RaIF began screaming in earnest fear, and scattered, leaving Glorfindel and the twins in the path of the beast. Legolas and Elrond froze in terror, Elladan fainted dead away. Once again, this was not a sleep-type faint, but a true dead faint. This left Glorfindel and Elrohir as the sole defense. The beast was truly hungry now; its appetite for metal was sated, now it hungered for flesh. The two stood in the center of the clearing of the random wood, over the inert body of Elladan, brandishing their steel. Actually, only Glorfindel had a sword, Elrohir, as we recall, has lost his to the beast earlier. Instead, Elrohir brandished his long knife. (This is very like the knife that Legolas was supposed to have, the one he has in the books.) The beastie could not decide which to attack, the shiny swords, or the wielders of them. It licked its fangs and breathed its fell breath of death over the Elves. Elrohir and Glorfindel staggered under the stench and nearly joined Elladan on the grass.
It was at this time that Legolas found his capability of movement at whirled toward the trees letting go a very high-pitched keening. This stopped the beast in it tracks and it turned toward the origin of the noise, the noise that sounded so much like one of its kin. Legolas was no longer in view, but his racket continued as he fled quite unElf-like through the wood. The beast could see only the petrified Elrond in the path of the scream. Elrond could not even blink. The beast moved toward the Imladris Elf and Elrohir flung himself at his father, knocking him out of the beast's path and into a handy pile of soft leaves. The beast tramped off into the woods after Legolas, leaving the four other Elves to sort out the situation.
Meanwhile, Lego-lover was regretting leaving her beloved for any amount of time and for any reason. She had turned around and was headed to rescue him when she heard his scream. She, of course did not immediately think it was him, but when the sound drew nearer and he ran bodily into her, she figured out it was indeed his sweet voice. Legolas ceased screaming after he ran into Lego-lover, and afterwards denied ever screaming. As he panted from his sitting position on the prone girl, they heard the crashing of the beast through the vegetation.
A/N: Sorry this one is not as funny. I may have to take a break and let my muse think some more. He is not working as well as he was when I first found him. Dang it you, Thadd! Anyway, this chapter is rather corny in my opinion. Well, at least more than the last ones, cause it is not as funny. I really do like LOTR and Elves and all... really. I jist enjoy making fun of them, especially Legolas. Stay tuned. More to come, as I have a three week break from school and nothing to do… Also, I have a plethora of nifty words to use in the next few. They come to me randomly, like Glorfindel. Surely you understand that Glorfindel is friddin awesome? Anyway, later there shall be more, and I promise they will be longer and more funnific.