Chapter Eighteen: A Fatal Mistake

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, ... who at best knows achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt-

Emily woke suddenly and completely, inexplicably certain that she was not alone. She smiled inwardly at the opportunity to be as shrewd as Severus, and kept her eyes closed and face devoid of emotion as she took a wild stab in the dark.

"What is it, Lupin?" she asked coolly.

To her great joy, it was indeed he who responded with a sharp gasp of surprise, obviously a bit shaken at her knowledge of his presence. She smiled inwardly, but the good feeling was not meant to last.

"Get up." The words were spoken softly, but the air of command was unmistakable.

She sat up smoothly, swinging her legs over the side and sliding to her feet with a grace and speed that she knew would startle him. A single step brought her chest in contact with his wand and she gave it a derisive smirk, sliding her eyes slowly from the wand to his eyes.

"What do you want?"

To his credit, he was not as shaken as she would've expected.

"As Severus has other responsibilities to attend to," he said coolly, "I intend to see what progress we can make on his assignment."

She winced inwardly. This is not good.

"Does Severus know about this?"

"Snape," he emphasized the unfriendly address, "does not make my decisions for me. This needs to be resolved; and, as he is otherwise occupied for an indefinite period of time, it falls to reason that another should take his place."

She was already shaking her head. "Lupin, no. You're not remotely strong enough. Even Sev found it difficult..."

"I assure you that I'm quite as capable a wizard as Snape, perhaps even more so," he interrupted reasonably. "And, despite what he thinks of me, I do not intend to lead you to your death, so you may lay that concern to rest."

"You don't want to see me die?" she asked skeptically. "That's hard to believe."

"Is it really? It's difficult to believe that I would find your death to be too... final?" His face hardened a bit. "I would prefer to see you rot in Azkaban for a few more decades. Then, perhaps, I would smile at your execution."

That silenced her and wiped the smirk from her face completely, the quiet, matter-of-fact hatred with which he addressed her. And, it hurt. She and Lupin had never been bosom friends, but they'd gotten on fairly well after the conversation before the World Cup. Of course, it hadn't been long before graduation and their respective allegiances separated them, but he often visited the estate to spend time with Eric, and they'd maintained a consistent peace for his sake. To see the look of cold fury on his face now was almost more than she could bear. And, the torment of it was that she couldn't find it in her heart to blame him.

"I knew you'd sold out to Voldemort, Emily," he continued, his voice still soft as it had ever been. "I knew because Eric knew, but he begged me to keep it between us... for your sake and your father's. He swore that he could turn you away from that path." His eyes shut tightly against the memory for a moment, a deep crease cutting down the center of his forehead as he fought to master himself. When he continued, his voice had gone cold. "He loved you more than his own life. And make no mistake, Emily, it was that perfect, reverent love for you that killed him." His composure began to fall away, then, his voice breaking slightly as he spoke. "If you can feel anything at all, you live with that for a few more decades. Let it tear at you as it's torn at me... then, I might be satisfied to watch you die."

She shook her head slowly, stunned by his painful honesty and moved by the fact that he was obviously still suffering over her brother's death... almost as much as she. It bonded her to him in a moment, making his anguish her own and birthing within her a desperate desire for that misery to end, for him to understand.

"You're wrong, Remus," she whispered gently, wanting to reach out and touch him, to make some sort of human contact, but she wasn't foolish enough to do so. Instead, she tried to reach him through his sweet brown eyes, usually so full of warmth, now ice-cold.. "Love was the death of him, but it wasn't his love for me that did it. I wish I could expl- "

"Silencio!" he hissed, drawing her statement to a close with a start of surprise. "I'm much happier with silence than lies, Emily," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "so I'll do us both a favor and stop you there... before I forget myself."

An hour later, standing in the entrance hall of Hogwarts, the spell finally wore off, but Emily kept her peace, not wanting to tip her hand to her captor. When he asked her if she knew what runic circle was next, she nodded. When he ordered her to lead him to it, she shrugged.

His answer was an irritated sigh. "You don't know where it is?" he asked incredulously.

She shook her head.

It was disturbing how quickly his wand was in her face, but he merely "countered" his silencing spell and continued. "And, just how were you planning to proceed?"

"It isn't easy, Lupin," she admonished softly. "This is a pretty big pile of rock. We've done well to find three."

"Yes, I'm certain that the combined genius of you and Snape can't possibly be matched," he countered. "What's the element of the next circle?"

"Water."

"Water?" he repeated blandly. "And you can't find it?"

She shook her head.

"May I assume that you've checked the lakeshore?"

"Of course."

"May I assume as well that you've interviewed the ghosts?"

"Severus has."

"Severus?" His eyes lost their focus as they did when he was considering. "Severus wouldn't think to..." he began, mostly mumbling to himself as he walked away. "This way," he called absently over his shoulder.

She followed reluctantly, not wanting to find the third rune, hoping to whatever higher powers might exist that Sev would come back before Lupin could get them both killed. But, once a person was in conference with Voldemort, there was no telling how long they'd remain. He could take it into his serpentine head to send Sev on a spur-of-the-moment quest or "reward" him with some virgin muggle to toy with. Oh, Severus hated that! But, there would be little choice in the matter. One simply did not refuse the Dark Lord's "generosity" if one wanted to live.

Please be careful, Sev, she silently begged. If you don't come back to me, I'll never forgive myself.

It was a long trek through the castle, but they finally arrived at their intended destination.

"The girl's bathroom?" she questioned sardonically.

Ignoring her completely, Lupin strode to the center of the room. "Myrtle?" he called kindly.

Emily understood immediately. Who better to know all the waterways of the school than the one who spent all her time in the plumbing? However...

"She doesn't really care for having men in her bathroom, Lupin. Maybe I should..."

But, her offer was cut off by a familiar wistful, girlish voice. "Is that Remus?" she called, floating around the corner of the furthest stall.

Remus smiled, that handsome, charming smile Emily remembered from childhood. She had to admit, it was good to see it again.

"Hello, Myrtle," he said winningly. "It's good to see you."

She giggled. "Are you coming back to teach this year?"

"I'm afraid not," he answered regretfully. "I'm just here to help with the runes."

"Oh." She drew out the single syllable until it became a bit of a moan. "All those nasty runes. I thought Snivellus was..."

"Don't call him that!" Emily snapped, cutting her off entirely and drawing her attention.

The girl approached her quickly. "Why not? It's what they used to call him," she asserted, gesturing to a rather embarrassed-looking Remus, "and they were always nice to me, not like that mean, nasty..."

"I'm warning you, Myrtle, you finish that sentence..." Another silencing spell cut her off before she could finish the threat, and she turned her glare on Lupin.

"Perhaps you'd do well to speak when you're spoken to, Miss Grey," he said quietly. "Now, Myrtle. I'd love to catch you up on all the news, but I really must hurry. I'm looking for the third circle. It's based on the element of water and may be somewhere around the plumbing or..."

"Or at the bottom of the lake," she finished for him, obviously quite pleased with herself.

Ten minutes later, they stood at the side of the lake in the place indicated by Myrtle and discussed the plan. Actually, Lupin discussed the plan while Emily fumed in silence, no longer bound by his spell, but getting angrier by the second, nonetheless.

"I understand that Snape shielded you from the effects of the runes while you worked to erase the circle itself. Is that correct?"

She only glared, arms crossed stubbornly, refusing to cooperate any further. If he was determined to get them both killed, then he would do so without her assistance.

"Miss Grey, I'm fairly certain that Dumbledore would have very few qualms about making your life a living torment within Azkaban should you refuse to aid us."

Still she stood, not even looking in his direction. If Albus thought that life in Azkaban could be any worse, then he had very little knowledge of what it was really like. Anyone who'd spent a single night in that horrid place knew that, once a person had been caged within their own worst nightmares, tormented by their inner demons for sixteen years, not much in the way of threats could move them.

She was certainly unmoved now... until Lupin reached out to firmly turn her gaze back to his.

"Emily, you are a Death Eater and a murderer," he said simply. "I don't want to see you freed from prison. I want you to suffer for a long time. Unfortunately, if you're successful here, you will be released. Snape will see to that," he added bitterly. "There's only one way out for you and it lies in your cooperation. You continue on with this childish snit of yours, you'll go right back to Azkaban, and the Headmaster will have to take time he doesn't have to repair the damage to the school. You stop sulking and do what is required of you and you'll earn your freedom. Everybody wins. Do you understand?"

Reluctantly, she nodded. "I do understand, but that doesn't change the fact that you're not strong enough to protect us. The runes are incredibly powerful. Sev and I barely survived the first two. You're making a huge mistake."

He smiled tightly, obviously pleased with her acquiescence. "I may not look like much, Miss Grey, but I was, according to Dumbledore, the best Defense instructor this school had seen in many years."

"Then, why aren't you still teaching?"

His smile faltered. "That is an entirely personal matter," he said simply, a clear hint of warning in his voice. "The point is that I am more than capable of protecting us both."

She sighed. "I need a dagger."

Lupin raised his eyebrows in question at the abrupt change of subject.

"For carving the runes," she clarified with an icy glare. Gods, she hated having to spell things out!

"Right," he replied smartly, conjuring a handy blade with a wave of his wand and handing it to his charge. "And, you'll also need..." With a tight twirl of his wand, he had her hair twisted behind her into a tight braid. "Mustn't have that in the way," he said by way of explanation.

Lastly, he passed her a disgusting wad of tentacles, which he'd procured from Snape's storeroom after visiting Myrtle, and popped another into his mouth.

"Ugh!" she moaned, eyeing the plant with a scowl. "Gillyweed? That's disgusting!"

"Eat it," he ordered in a tone that left no room for argument.

With a dangerous glint in her eyes, she obeyed. After she'd chewed and, with some difficulty, choked down the rubbery ball, Lupin gestured to the lake with a curt nod. "After you."

With another sigh and an angry shake of her head, Emily dove from the overhang. She wiped the water from her eyes as a nearby splash announced that Lupin had joined her and, just as the gillyweed began to take effect, they disappeared under the surface into the black water of the lake.

Severus Snape stood at the door of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and stared at the handle, brooding. This is ridiculous, he thought. I'll have to go in at some point. But, going in meant seeing Emily again and admitting that she was right in answering Voldemort's summons. She had done much more than simply deal with her blunder. Whatever lies she'd sold to Voldemort had improved his and her standing with the Dark Lord a hundredfold. Still, admitting that she was right had the terrifying potential to encourage this sort of behavior in the future, and that was the last thing he wanted.

She had to understand that, no matter what the outcome, her recklessness could have ruined a great many lives... could've just as easily cost them theirs.

With a great sigh, he swung the door open and swept through the entrance, nearly running headlong into a very welcome presence.

"Severus," the Headmaster greeted in his usual easy, friendly manner. "This is a pleasant surprise."

He inclined his head briefly, an old habit, acknowledging the older man's authority, and gave a tight smile. "Headmaster."

"Where is your charge?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

Snape's face fell immediately, sensing an approaching disaster. "She's here," he asserted carefully.

The usual twinkle left Dumbledore's eyes. "No, Severus. She is not."

"Where is Lupin?" Severus growled, starting forward.

Albus' words stopped his momentum cold. "The house is empty, Severus."

He pivoted on his heel, a look of dread shadowing his handsome features. There was a pregnant pause in which Severus perused all the possibilities, then settled on the most logical one. "We have to get to the school," he snapped, already moving. "Now."

Moment's later, they stood before the gates.

Severus had always felt that one of the greatest advantages of working with Dumbledore was his uncanny ability to sense, and therefore avert, disaster. That gift was put to use now as they passed through the gates. Before they had taken ten steps, Dumbledore had shifted his course toward the lake, traveling much faster than a wizard his age should've been able, and Severus followed wordlessly in his wake.

It seemed an eternity before the water came into view below the hills, and when Albus broke into a run, Severus followed doggedly, his heart pounding a terrified rhythm in his chest. Down the hill and around the bend, they flew, Snape's knees nearly giving way when at last he saw what had caused such an uncharacteristic panic in the older wizard. The world spun sickeningly around Severus' head as he covered the rest of the distance with impossible speed, needing to see what he couldn't bring himself to admit.

Lupin, pale as a ghost, soaked to the bone, and covered in innumerable paper-thin lines of blood, was dragging something large and unnaturally limp out of the water.

Severus stopped cold before them, suddenly breathing no more than the blue-tinged body that lay at his feet. He shrugged off the comforting hand that fell on his shoulder.

Lupin looked up from where he knelt, tears streaming unchecked, creating a river of blood from the open wounds that ran like garden furrows on his face, and spoke from another reality, his voice carried to Severus from a million miles away.

The words were heard, but made no sense. It simply wasn't real, any of it. The only thing that was real, the only thing that existed in the world was the lifeless body on the ground... and the fact that somehow, suddenly and inexplicably, Emily was dead.

Dianatyne: I had to laugh at your review and feel slightly sorry for you when I realized that you announced your adoration for Emily right before her unfortunate demise. Oops! But, I know where you're coming from, and you would've been welcome to take her home. I can't blame you. She was quite the hottie... not quite my type, but I'd definitely have to stare, especially at her hair. I love red hair! I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed her complexity. I think that most people are that way, neither good nor evil, just motivated to action on both sides of the coin by various internal influences. I hope that you continue to think that the work is interesting. That's what I live to hear. Thanks, Dianatyne.

Sev Lover: Patience, my young reviewer, patience. These things take time. Not to mention, in her current condition, well... Sev has his hang-ups, but necrophilia isn't one of them. See ya!

Teenage Zombie: Aw! I have a way with plot twists? Really? That's so sweet! Thank you! I love twisty plots. They're so fun... like literary roller coasters! Hope this one doesn't disappoint!

Queen of the Faeries: Hey, thanks for the good word on the flashbacks! I was extremely concerned about them at the beginning and debated using them at all, but they've gone over fairly well. Yay for me! I, as well, am not very interested in the Marauder's period, but it was necessary to delve into it for the sake of history. Yes. I agree that that was mean of Severus, but he felt the need to make a point... and made it quite clearly, I hope. At this point, Emily almost deserves what she gets. Okay, maybe not death, but well...

Sesshomaru's Angel: Only seven more of what, dear? I didn't quite catch that. And, yes. I'll be continuing the Alex/Sev/Lucius stories after this, but I also have two others in my head that I'd like to get out. One is a Lucius ficlet which may turn into an actual story... depends on the response, and another is a Severus/OC. Hope to see you there, but if you're going to read the third Alex story when I start it, you may want to go back and read the first two first. Otherwise, the third will make very little sense. Thanks for the review!

Captain Oblivious!: Ah, my epic reviewer, how goes it? So, I take it that you like Remus? Interesting. He'll be poking his head in and out of the story now that he's inserted himself into the plot, so I guess that's a good thing. You understand about Kingsley. Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried that you'd be mad at me! There's more coming up about him later. Yeah, Ron's a horrible little gremlin. I really, really loathe that kid. The Loaf thinks that he should be my Kenny (from South Park) and I should kill him off in every story. Frankly, I think it's a hell of an idea and I might just do it.

Emerald Sparrow: So glad you liked it. Thanks! And, I appreciate the good word on the flashbacks. I was worried that those wouldn't go over too well. I'm actually not a big fan of the Marauders, but I can definitely see what others see in them. I do have a particular affinity for Remus, young or old. As a matter of fact, if you like Remus stories with a lot of history involving James and Sirius, may I humbly suggest a story called Wicked Games on a site called Chocolate Frog? It's probably the best Severus romance I've ever read. I, in fact, can't read it (which I do constantly) without using it to pick my own writing to pieces.