Chapter Twenty-One: Ogre's Choice
It's no good trying to fool yourself about love. You can't fall into it like a soft job, without dirtying up your hands. It takes muscle and guts. And if you can't bear the thought of messing up your nice, clean soul, you'd better give up on the whole idea of life, and become a saint. Because you'll never make it as a human being.
- John Osborne -
Severus watched her carefully as she unpacked, humming a merry tune as she pulled robe after colorful robe out of her magically enlarged traveling trunk. After those, came bottles of ridiculously expensive hair potions, perfumed oils, ribbons, shoes, satin and silk nightclothes, and finally, a Firebolt broomstick.
Severus rolled his eyes. A broomstick. For a woman whose allegiance was as tenuous as hers. Brilliant, Lupin, he bristled, absolutely brilliant. Make my task a little more difficult, will you? Soon, Lupin - very soon, indeed, if you fail to keep your wolf's paws off of my charge - we are going to have a very long discussion.
After storing the Firebolt in her wardrobe with a fond smile, she turned with a start of surprise that cut off her humming, leaving the room unnaturally still.
"Severus," she gasped. "I thought you were seeing to dinner."
"It's waiting for us," he returned quietly.
She smiled broadly. "Good. I've missed eating with you."
"Have you?" he asked simply, lending his arm to escort her to the office where they normally dined, only tonight dinner was set on a small dining table by the fire and a bottle of champagne chilled beside that. Emily let out a small "oh" when she spotted it.
Severus said nothing at all, merely opened the bottle with a tight pop and filled two flutes with the sparkling, bubbling liquid. Handing one to Emily with a nod, he raised his own slightly and pronounced, "To you, Lady Grey, and whatever the future may hold for you."
A hint of pink spread through her cheeks as she giggled at his uncustomary formality, but years of training raised her hand slightly and tipped her glass in his direction before taking a delicate sip. He followed suit, then slid wordlessly into his chair.
"Thank you, Severus," she said quietly, sitting opposite him. "To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what to expect from you after..."
He inclined his head slightly. "Perfectly understandable. Truthfully, I am quite pleased to have you to myself again," he admitted with a crooked smile that never failed to bring a blush to her cheek. To his great delight, it worked. She hung her head to hide the telltale glow, but it was there. "For two days, I've wished to speak with you at length about... recent occurrences, and for an agonizing moment, I thought I might never get the opportunity." A deepening blush followed by a coy turn of the head, obscenely timid gestures for one such as Emily, drew a black eyebrow to it's greatest height and kept it there for a moment. "Much was made clear to me in that moment," he added, "much that I should like to discuss with you."
He intended to continue, but she spoke first. "I never got a chance to thank you, Severus, for... what you did. I wanted to, but with Dumbledore there, I didn't know how much I could say."
He waved the concept away. "I'm not the one who risked my life."
"Oh, that," she said casually, shaking her head as she cut a tomato into manageable slices. "I wish everyone would just stop talking about it. I made a miscalculation and nearly drowned myself. It's nothing to be proud of," she said sheepishly.
"I do feel partially responsible for that," he said, causing a look of confusion on his dinner companion's face. "Had you had a wand, you would likely have fared much better." His breath hitched just slightly, knowing that he'd given her the perfect opportunity to tell him about the weapon which was undoubtedly hidden in her robes even now.
She hesitated, an almost guilty expression on her face, obviously considering it, then dashed all of his hopes to pieces. "You did what you thought you had to do, Severus," she said with a shrug. "I don't really blame you, but I wish you hadn't broken it. I really liked it."
Damn it, she'd hardly batted an eye. And while it hadn't exactly been a lie, it was a far cry from the truth. For a long moment, Snape sat in silence, almost frightened of the implications. An instant later, he'd hardened his mind and heart. All of his adult life, people had feared him... and for good reason. Damned if he'd be double-crossed by this slip of a titian-haired Death Eater.
Ever-so-slowly, he reached into his sleeve, watching her as she refilled her glass, wholly oblivious. In an instant, he had summoned her wand from a cleverly-hidden pocket in her skirts, and caught it neatly as her head shot up, eyes wide with shock. Holding the wand aloft for her to see, he allowed his face to lose all expression before he spoke.
"It isn't so much the fact that you lied to me that disturbs me, Emily. I'm actually becoming quite accustomed to it," he said casually, twirling the wand in deft fingers. "It's the fact that you obviously think me so great a fool. Do you truly believe that there is anything you can hide that I will not eventually discover?"
She was already shaking her head. "I don't think you're a fool, Severus. I just knew that you were angry, and I didn't want to lose another wand to you... especially not that one."
"I know this wand; I saw it's former owner die at the Dark Lord's feet," he said calmly. "Perhaps you'd care to tell me how you came to possess it?"
She shrugged. "He gave it to me."
Snape smiled, a brief, mocking curve of the lips. "I see. He simply... gave it to you? How uncharacteristically generous."
Her eyes narrowed at the sardonic tone, and abruptly she pushed her plate to the side, focusing her full attention on him. "Why don't you just skip the sarcasm, Severus, and tell me exactly what it is I'm being accused of?"
"Nothing, as yet," he responded soberly. "But the Dark Lord does not easily part with his trophies. He would not give this to anyone he was not fully convinced was his own."
"So, I convinced him."
He leaned in, making certain that her gaze was locked to his. "You haven't the skill," he whispered.
Emily sat back with an angry huff and crossed her arms over her chest. "So, I'm forced to ask again: What are you accusing me of?"
"Nothing," he repeated quietly, pocketing the wand and folding his hands on the table. "But, I am in a rather disconcerting position, Emily, and you know far more about that position than you should." Her eyes went wide and flew to his own wand, resting within easy reach on the table. "I'm not going to Obliviate you," he assured her calmly, "though I certainly should. I am merely asking you where your loyalties lie... and if I feel that you're not telling me the truth, I will force it from you."
To his great relief, the panic faded from her eyes. She reached across the table slowly, allowing him to watch her hand carefully, and entwined her fingers with his. "Thank you, Sev... for just asking."
He nodded once, quite content to wait patiently for her to continue. "Severus, the Dark Lord is going to win this war," she said with firm conviction, "and anyone who stands in his way is going to die. I don't fear death; I doubt that you do, either. But I do fear what he will do to those who betray him, and if you had any sense at all..." She shook her head, unwilling to finish the thought. "You ask me where my loyalties lie, Sev? They lie with you, so maybe you need to consider your loyalties, because they're creating a very bleak future for you... and anyone who stands by your side."
All warmth fled from him as he contemplated what she was saying, hardly believing his own ears. By the gods, had she really matured so little in sixteen years? She opened her mouth to continue, and he released her hand to hold up his own.
"Stop," he said firmly. "I've heard quite enough." With a great sigh, he sat back in his chair, eyeing her angrily. "I will not be held responsible for your choices. Your future is your own, your fate rests in your hands. I have granted you a certain measure of clemency for your lengthy captivity, but I am finished with this. I have responsibilities which are far more imperative than playing father to a grown woman. It is well past time for you to grow up. "
Emily's eyes grew wide and her jaw slack as he spoke, obviously not expecting such a stern answer, but there was no help for it. She simply had to start thinking on her own, to take some responsibility for her own actions.
Finally, she closed her mouth, squared her shoulders, and cleared her throat to speak. "I don't really know what to say to that, Sev."
"Just tell me that you understand, and that you will make a decision... on your own," he emphasized, leaning forward once more. "You have every right to choose your own master, your own agenda. The Order would likely welcome you with open arms after saving Lupin's life. I doubt that you'd be given any sensitive information until they learned to trust you, but you would have the backing of some of the most powerful wizards in the world. If you choose to remain loyal to the Dark Lord, I will not stand in your way this time. In fact..." Severus presented her wand, handle first, "I will even return this to you."
She took the wand warily, with a hand that trembled slightly, and replaced it... this time in the sheath at her hip, then gave him a tiny, hopeful smile. It faded, though, as Severus placed a long finger under her chin locking her gaze with his. Obsidian eyes glittered dangerously in the firelight as he studied her intently.
"I care a great deal for you, Emily Grey, and I suspect that, on some level, you are as trustworthy as I always hoped, but..." She tensed. "I have had quite enough," he asserted in his softest voice. "If you choose to return to the Dark Lord, I will not stop you. You will be making an enemy of me, but no matter what you decide, it would be wise to be wholly forthcoming in the future. I hasten to caution you, so that there is no misunderstanding between us, that if you cross me once more, there won't be enough left of you to consider a threat. It would break my heart to take your life, even in anger, but do not make the mistake of thinking me too sentimental to do so."
Emily sat curled in her chair by the hearth, staring into the dying fire and contemplating Sev's words. Briefly, she chuckled. Her concentration would be greatly aided if she could stop thinking about the firelight reflecting in his hair or the intensity in his lovely eyes as he threatened her life.
That was another thought that kept her from focusing solely on his words. Not two days had passed since she was thrown forward through oblivion to awaken beneath Severus who was, though he would likely never admit it, weeping bitterly over what he thought was her lifeless body, even as he breathed his own life into her - possibly the most intimate act she'd ever known. There was only a flash of this vision before he fell away, but the pain in his normally passive face would be etched into her soul forever. From weeping over her remains to threatening her life in such a short period of time. Remus was right. Along with all its other hardships, war really did make things ridiculously complicated.
Something interrupted her thoughts, then, catching her eye just as she looked away, something in the fire. Her attention immediately returned to the hearth. Someone was obviously looking in on her, likely attempting to...
Ah. Just there.
"Lucius," she whispered to the fair-haired man who had now appeared bodily in the hearth. Never one to be impolite to someone so powerful, she immediately gained her feet. "This is a surprise. Is something wrong?"
"Is Severus nearby?" he asked tensely.
"No. Should I go and collect him?"
A hand came through the flames, then, something it should not have been able to do, and she stepped back in panic at the intrusion.
"Stop," came the clipped command. She obeyed, more out of habit than logic. When Lucius Malfoy gave an order, it was wise to train oneself to obey without question. "Come," he added, in a tone which brooked no argument.
Not that she didn't make the foolish attempt. "I can't floo from here. There are wards."
"Take. My. Hand. Now."
The words were dangerously impatient, and with a shrug and a silent prayer to whatever power happened to be watching, she obeyed and was immediately yanked forward through the flames into a lavishly decorated sitting room. A quick glance around the room assured her that they were alone, and she released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, taking the moment to lower her head in deference to her master's most favored servant.
"Sit," he bit out.
She did so immediately, looking up into a face which was at once terrifying and fascinating: powerful, furious, and very, very beautiful. For an instant, she remembered the taste of his mouth as he kissed her at the Solstice celebration, then just as quickly pushed the thought aside. It did not do to allow one's thoughts to wander when dealing with such an obviously hazardous situation.
After a moment, he seemed to relax slightly and slid smoothly into a lush chair opposite her own, so close that their knees nearly touched; and, leaning forward, he began to speak.
"Have you been giving consideration to my question?"
"I never needed to consider it. I could've given you your answer the moment you asked," she returned, trying like hell to appear more collected than she felt. Whatever had made him this angry, she could only hope that it wasn't her. "I am ever my master's servant, Lucius. My devotion is to him alone, and for good reason."
He seemed pleased with her answer, for which she was immensely thankful. "Then, I may assume that the opportunity to aid our cause is your first priority?"
"Of course." This was intriguing: singled out by Lucius to perform an act of service merely two days after her return to the Death Eaters; a bit disturbing as well, but one couldn't be too selective where service to Voldemort was concerned.
"Then, you would be eager to remove any obstacle in our path?" he asked, with his most charming smile.
It was not a good sign. Nevertheless...
"Whatever my master needs of me."
He nodded, considering.
"Last night, I and a select group of our Lord's most favored moved against a family who has stood in our way for countless years, creating stumbling blocks, making things much more complicated than necessary. Our information was infallible. The family would be together for the first time in years for the entire night, creating the perfect opportunity to wipe out the entire faithless clan. But, when we moved to strike at the ordained time and place... the house was empty." These last words were growled with such ferocity that she reached for her wand unconsciously. He saw the gesture and gave her a warning glance that caused her stomach to knot. With a nervous smile, she returned her hand to its place on her knee. "Not many others knew of our plan to attack," he continued, speaking with a quiet anger that frightened her more than his rage. "One, in particular, heard a mere reference to it that very morning when he was among us, speaking to our master... about you."
Her heart dropped. Oh, no. Surely not.
Her eyes must've betrayed her thoughts for Lucius merely sneered and sat back in his chair, inspecting his hands carefully as he shook his fair head. "Because of him, we will likely never have another opportunity to eliminate the entire Weasley clan. We shall have to go about the business of exterminating them one by one, a tedious and time-consuming task. And, the wizard who betrayed us is believed to be innocent of such treachery by all but those who know him best. One of us, it would seem, has a unique opportunity to aid our cause."
And gain the favor of an immensely powerful wizard, she added silently. A rather sweet deal for me.
But, could it not have been someone, anyone other than Severus?
"Oh," Lucius cooed softly, sitting forward to take her hands in his, a gesture of comfort, but a stifling one, at best. Now, she was trapped and had nowhere to direct her gaze but his face, which was a scant few inches from her own. "I know. You love him," he whispered comfortingly, without even the slightest hint of the mockery she would have expected. "But, imagine, Emily, what I will do to him when he is found out... and that time is coming. The Dark Lord suspects, now, that there is a traitor within the ranks. He simply thinks too highly of Severus to doubt him, as yet. That will not last. He will be discovered, and he will be given to me for suitable punishment. Don't mistake me. I should like very much to see him suffer for years to come, but I find myself in the unfortunate position of needing to hurry his demise, for the sake of our cause. The destruction of the runic circles that you are undertaking is a dangerous business," he said slowly, drawing the last word out into a familiar hiss. "Accidents happen."
Her gaze had wandered to their hands as he spoke in an instinctive desire to hide the horror she knew must be reflected in her eyes, but a strong hand seized her chin and turned her eyes to his. "And, an accident will happen, Miss Grey... very soon, or I will force you to watch and even participate in his punishment." A cold thumb stroked her cheek with a feather-light touch. "Ultimately, you will be showing the man you love great mercy... something a traitor does not deserve, but as it will be mutually beneficial, I will allow it." The thumb which had been caressing her cheek moved now to trace her bottom lip, an inappropriately intimate gesture - carefully calculated. "Will you do this?"
There was no need to consider. As choices went, it was the proverbial Ogre's for Severus... just as she'd warned him. But he'd completely ignored her, choosing to concentrate instead on threatening her life should she choose what he damn well knew to be the wisest path. With a small sigh, she nodded, and the man before her tightened his grip on her chin, drawing a sharp hiss of pain.
"You know better than that," he bit out, his voice deceptively quiet. "Answer me."
A moment's pause. A deep breath as she remembered what she'd told Severus before: had she seen to her father's death herself, she could've made certain that it was quick and painless. Could she do anything less for the man she loved? A thick gulp to swallow the tears, and she was able to speak.
"Yes, Lucius. If Severus has to die, then I'll kill him myself. I'll have the perfect opportunity... tomorrow."
A slow, wicked grin spread across his face, then, as he closed the infinitesimal distance between them and sealed their agreement with a searing, malevolent kiss.
Author's note: Wow! You guys have assumed so much from one little scene! I'm curious: What made the majority of you think that Remus is gay? My own answers are a bit short this time, I know, and the update is late. I am so sorry! I know I'm a big loser-head, but I honestly can hardly keep my eyes open tonight. I love you guys, though. After losing so many reviewers, I don't want my faithful story-time circle members to think that I've lost my heart for them. I haven't. You're all precious to me and I appreciate your kind words more than I can express. They keep me writing!
Sesshomaru's Angel: So, you think Remus is gay, eh? Maybe, maybe not. We have a way to go before everything is discovered, so you'll have to hang out with me until the end to find out for certain. Thanks for reviewing Not For Sale, by the way. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It'll be a little while before I start the third Alex story, but when I do, you'll be all caught up. I'll be glad to see you there.
Sev Lover: So, here's what happens when you leave Sev and Em alone. Not very promising, is it? Truth be told, I'm a little worried about our 'happy couple'.
Dianatyne: See, you're the only one who assumed that the thing they shared was lycanthropy. I would've thought that would've been everyone's first guess. Not that I'm telling what it is they have in common. The rest of the story is coming in due time. I'm so glad that you're still enjoying the story. I seem to have lost a ton of my reviewers, and that makes me really sad, so it's good to know that there are a few hangers-on who are still enjoying themselves. After all, that's one of the main reasons that I write.
Captain Oblivious!: So, you're stuck like super glue, are you? You can't know how good it is to see that on the screen. I'm so depressed over my little lost reviewers! Pathetic, I know, but I can't help it. Hey! Remus is not wimpy, darn it! And, I have not said that he's gay... though that appears to be the general consensus. As I requested above, how's about a reason for that? I'm fascinated to know how you came to that conclusion. Not that I'm telling either way, not yet. Remus and Sirius painted the dorm orange? Freaky Deaky! I love the comparison you made to a Q&A session! That makes this even more fun. And, holy cow, how ironic was that story about the car and the irate sign? Of course, if someone parked on me, I'd be miffed, too. That's pretty funny! And, BTW, you make your reviews just as long as you please. I LOVE them!
Teenage Zombie: Another vote for Remus being gay. At this point, I'm going to have to make him that way just because of popular theory! For now, though, their secret is safe with me. You may be right. You may be wrong. I'll fill you in later. For now, as I have requested from all of you who share this theory, tell me why you're so sure of this. I'm dying to know! Don't you dare step down from your position! You're still the seer among this group! What would I do without your divine vision? Emily is more or less back to normal, yes, and whether that's a good thing remains to be seen.
emerald sparrow: You have not begun to see him jealous! Oooh... Baby spoiler! My bad! I will spill all the beans about Emily and Eric soon, I promise.
Lady Jenilyn: Hi, sweetie! You know, I just adore your letters, but there's something special about being able to answer your reviews around the story-time circle. Have a muffin. Sorry about all of that British Lit. Yuck! You poor, poor dear! It's insane that I'm planning to continue my major in English/Lit when I return to school, yet I hate most classical work. Go figure. I guess I'm just a modern gal. Okay. This is what you need to do. Go to your professors and explain to them that I am dying to find out what happens next in your story, and if they don't ease up on the homework to facilitate your updating, I'm going to hex every one of them! Fanfiction MUST take priority! I'm so happy that you approve of Lupin's friendship with Emily. I can see those two getting on very well, and I don't even know why. I wasn't planning for them to click like this, but I'm relieved that they did. It makes the writing go much more smoothly. I wanted so much to have a subtle outer reaction playing against a shocked inner reaction when Severus saw Emily in her new robes, so I must've written that scene at least twenty times to get it right (assuming it was right). Hearing that you liked it makes the work well worthwhile! I can actually see those similarities to which you refer between you and Remus, and I as well wish that he played a larger role in the books. Sigh. Maybe the next one. I, as well, got a BIG vibe in the shrieking shack scene! I don't think that Rowling (All hail the Goddess!) intended for them to come off as romantically involved, but they definitely did. And, good for them! I think they'd make a great couple! Admittedly, though, I always pair Remus with Severus in my head because of the Wicked Games story. Was that not just way beyond groovy? I think I may have to take a cue from you and see POA once more before it leaves the theatre. I'll go on Tuesday, my next day off. Want to fly down and see it with me? Popcorn's on me! I thought that your call for an update was hilarious considering that I had just gone online to post this when I received your review. So, is right away fast enough for you? Now, you have your update, get your butt in gear and update "Mirror of My Dreams," damn it! Don't make me get the whip!