Chapter 3: I hate you
When Remus came back to headquarters that afternoon, he was greeted by two eager females who, Remus thought guilt fully as he lifted an armful of groceries, had probably been waiting for him since morning. The rain had stopped but there was a hot mist that hung over everything, making him feel extraordinarily sleepy.
"Hello, ladies," he acknowledged dully.
The two women were none other than Tonks and Mr. Weasley. They both looked worried (at least, Tonks was as worried looking as you could look with pink hair). They treated him like an old man who might fall at any moment and break his hip.
"Can I get the groceries for you, dear?"
"How was the doctor? Was she nice?"
"Come in, dear. Please don't trip over the umbrella stand again, Tonks!"
They looked at him with pitying eyes that read, "I'm sorry about, Sirius." Remus began to loath this company, he wished they would stop staring at him like he was dying.
…Even if he was dying…
They entered the house and put the items away. Finally all of them sat at the kitchen table. Remus drew on the table with his index finer and tried not to look up at the sympathetic faces. "So how was it, Remus," Tonks said, breaking the misty silence.
"Lousy, she wasn't even listening half the time…She told me I had to 'accept' his death by 'reflecting' on times together. I think she just wanted to hear me talk."
"But, you do feel better, don't you?"
"No, Molly, I really don't. In fact, I feel worse."
The misty silence came back over the table until it was broken, again, by Tonks. "Hey, I've got an idea," she said with strained enthusiasm, "Perhaps you could write a letter!"
"A letter, for what?"
"For Sirius!"
"Wha?"
"And you could say all the things that you needed to say, tie up all the loose ends. And then when you're done, we'll take it to the Ministry of Magic, and go to that Veil-thing and we'll float it through! It will be like a good-bye-for-now!"
Remus closed his eyes, "Tonks, that is the most pathetically romantic thing I've ever heard."
"So you'll do it?"
He sighed in resignation, "I suppose."
She hugged him a bit too passionately. "It will make you feel better! I promise!" She then ran out of the room, sobbing like a maniac.
Mr. Weasley smiled faintly, "She likes you, you know…"
"I know. I can't be hers though; I'm Sirius'"
"But if you just give her a chance…"
"It's not like I'm just being stubborn!" He winced harshly, "Werewolves mate for life. I'm mated to Sirius for life. Besides, I'm gay. She's a sweet girl, but I can't love her in that way. She'll find someone that will make her happy, some young man, you'll see…"
"I know, dear, it's just been hard for her, working in the Order and all… she hardly dates anymore. She really does love you…"
"I'm not saying I don't care about her. But she's like, a teenage daughter to me. She's a good girl… she'll find someone. I pray sometimes for her to find someone…"
Behind, Remus' back, Tonks was listening behind the door with tears in her eyes.
"I think I'll take her advice though. It's rather romantic…"
With that Remus turned to leave, and found Tonks' hiding place. There she cried and ran upstairs, shrieking "I HATE YOU!"
It sent chills up Remus' spine. "Wait! Please wait!" He ran up the stairs after her, behind a closed bedroom door, she was sobbing. "Tonks please don't do this. You're only hurting yourself. I only want what's best for you, and that's not me." "I hate you," was whispered in-between sobs, "I hate you!"
"I love you. And if I could be that someone for you I would but…" His thoughts went to Sirius' laugh, his smell when he woke up in the morning…
"Please don't hate me," he implored, "I would hate me to if I were you, but…I love Sirius. And I'm not going to get over him any time soon. I don't want to get over him. It may be sad. But, please pull through, honey."
She opened the door. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she was pouting at him like a little girl. He hugged her like a daughter. "You're going to be alright, honey, you have the rest of your life to find that someone. I'm already taken." She sniffed. "I'm sorry. I just…"
"Don't be sorry, love, it's alright."
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About an hour later, Remus sat at his desk with a blank piece of parchment in front of his eyes. He promised Tonks he'd do it, but the weight of loss was getting heavier in his chest. He tried to not think of how it was a letter to no one. He pretended Sirius was alive; it seemed to ease the pain.
He dipped his quill into the ink and began.
To my loving Sirius,
A/N: How do you like, so far? Up next: Remus' letter to no one. And why is Snape in Dr. Treneski's office?
I'm still not sure about the plot and stuff, basically I'm just showing snippets of Remus and Sirius' lives together. I need reviews to give me writing energy! Please, Pretty-Please Review!