Precious readers. I will not dishearten you with the details of the string of misfortune which has kept me away for so long. I will merely say that I was unavoidably (and I do mean unavoidably) detained within a whirlwind of some of the foulest luck I've ever experienced. The good news is, I'm back on my feet again and ready to present the rest of the story which you have so faithfully followed. I hope that I have not lost any of you because of my prolonged absence. I'm so very sorry that you were kept waiting. It is highly unlikely that anything like this will ever happen again. Now to get back to doing what I love to do. So ... without further ado, I present:
Chapter Thirty-One: A Cry For Help
Severus' eyes, wider than she'd ever seen them, stared out from a deeply furrowed brow for a long, long time, so long that she wondered for an insane moment whether he'd even heard her proposal. He had, of course, and had slipped into one of his nearly catatonic meditations on the question.
Emily gave a nervous giggle, still more affected by the wine than she cared to be. "Sev?"
He started visibly at the sound of his name, then slowly closed the lids over his eyes once, twice, and a third time, before raising a hand to her face for a brief, almost embarrassed brush of cool fingers across her cheek.
"It isn't…" he began softly.
"No!" she interrupted, nearly panicked at the negative beginning. "No, don't do that," she added, more sedately, but unable to contain the pleading in her voice. "Can't you just ... wear the ring for a bit? Let me imagine that you're thinking about it?"
"Dwelling on one's imaginings is a dangerous custom," he said carefully.
She hesitated, not caring for the finality of the implication. "Is that what I'm doing?" she asked, voice cracking from a suddenly parched throat. She took another deep drink, no longer caring whether she became insufferably drunk. "Is there no chance at all?"
He sighed - a great, regretful release of breath. "Truly, Emily, I don't know."
"That's what's killing you, isn't it?" she questioned, feeling her temper rising like a flame. "The uncertainty is driving you mad."
"Ridiculous!" he hissed. "My entire life is spilling over with uncertainty."
"And, I'm just another question mark," she shot back, her voice beginning to rise with her anger. "Somewhere in the back of that brilliant mind, even now, you're calculating the risk, assessing whether life with me is worth the trouble. Well, perhaps I've thought the same about you," she added furiously. "You… maniacally-controlling, possessive, egotistical, son of a…"
Faster than she could react, his mouth was on hers, stopping the tirade with a blistering kiss. There was no time to think, no time to consider as he cleared the table with a violent sweep of his arm, knocking the remainder of their meal to the floor with a reverberating crash that thankfully did not pass the boundaries of the soundproof room. An instant later the door was sealed and she was trapped with a suddenly-frightening potions master.
"I'm controlling?" he hissed.
She studied him carefully for a moment, noting with alarm that his eyes held that same mad gleam she'd seen the night he'd dealt with Isabelle, then he descended on her with an almost desperate fury.
"You need to be controlled by me," he whispered feverishly into her ear. "Tell me that you do not ache for me to rule you."
Much to her surprise, she found that she could not.
The next few minutes were a frenzied mix of passion and wrath as he covered her in angry kisses, tearing her robes apart and throwing the tattered scraps to the floor. That brought a sharp and profane protest as she managed to pull away. Almost reflexively, he silenced her, then yanked her head back with a sadistic tug of her hair and assailed her throat with lips and teeth in an assault which at once startled and greatly aroused her.
After a few moments of this treatment, she learned that responding in kind as she stripped away his robes drove him even further into this sweltering madness, drawing sounds from him that she never would've imagined he could make - frustrated moans and growls so inhuman that she, at times, feared for her safety only to find that the fear drove her to a place where she no longer cared if he hurt her, even welcomed the pain, as long as he never stopped.
Sensing her surrender seemed to drive him even closer to the edge of reason and the inevitable pain came at last, as sharp nails dug furrows across her back and teeth pulled cruelly at her breast. At last, the silencing spell fell away and the room filled with the sound of her cries mingled with his mindless groans as he sank to his knees, roughly parted her legs, and claimed her with his tongue.
It was absolute perfection, the slick slide of his mouth on her sex, the tiny vibrations as he savored the taste of her and soon she found herself at the end of her control, burying her hands in his silky hair as she begged him shamelessly for release.
True to his nature, he refused her, pulling away before she reached completion and rising smoothly before her like a charmed serpent, glistening lips curled with a menacing smile that froze her blood. For a moment he merely studied her with predatory eyes that promised as much pain as they did pleasure before yanking her to her feet, spinning her about, and shoving her body gracelessly down - her cheek flat against the cold wood, arms pinioned by the wrist behind her, and long legs kicked apart.
He wasted no time in claiming her, filling her with one long, languid thrust, then stopping altogether and smoothing his hands lovingly over torn skin, spreading the sting like a sweet flame across her shoulder blades and lower, deeper - a moment of tenderness which confused her even further when it was followed by a coupling that made their encounter against the wall of his study seem gentle by comparison. And when they reached their completion, it was as one, their voices filling the lush dining room with an unearthly keening that would ring in her ears for the rest of her days.
Later that night, she lay nestled in the safety of his arms, awash in a warmth she'd never known and inexplicably comforted by the control he exerted over her - the very control she'd cursed only a few hours before. Staring into the darkness, she laughed silently at her own shortsightedness. Gods, it was the lament of the old, but: had she only known then what she knew now.
"What's funny?" he whispered, his voice thick with weariness.
"I am," she chuckled, just as quietly.
"How so?" he asked, brushing back a lock of silken darkness from his eyes.
"Doesn't matter," she hedged, propping herself on one arm, watching in fascination the ropy muscles under his skin that moved with him as he adjusted his position as well. He didn't prompt her again, merely waited with a raised eyebrow for her to continue. "You know what a fool I am. You're constantly reminding me of it. I hardly think I need to give you any more reason to feel that way."
He responded with the merest of chuckles which brought a nervous smile to her lips. A clever hand toyed with her splayed fingers as he searched her eyes carefully.
"There's something else," he asserted with his usual composed conviction.
She hesitated, dreading to ask because she was not as certain as she wanted to be of the answer. But, the promise of hearing the words from his own mouth was too tempting to pass up.
"Do you love me?" she breathed at last.
For an instant his eyes widened, the only indication that the question caught him off guard. His face remained as composed as usual as his fingers stopped tracing hers, falling flat atop her hand and remaining there a long while as he contemplated his response.
Finally he sighed with just a touch of frustration. "Love is a nebulous, nearly indefinable emotion, Emily. I..."
"Severus," she interrupted sternly. "No speeches. Just answer the question... Please?"
A brief moment he considered her, a moment that seemed to stretch into infinity but when he opened his mouth to speak at last, a sharp rapping at the window high above shut it again, and his attention was turned away to refocus on the glittering red and gold creature fluttering at the glass.
"Is that Fawkes?" Emily asked incredulously.
Severus didn't answer, just snatched his wand from the side table and irritably waved the window open to allow the phoenix entrance. Coming to an abrupt landing on the bed itself, the bird allowed Severus to remove the scroll from its leg, then just as suddenly sped away again.
Emily glanced at the scroll, then the clock. It was just past eleven. "Well, this can't be good," she mumbled as Severus hastily unrolled he scroll. Trying to read over his shoulder proved ineffective as the rich parchment was completely blank, enchanted no doubt to reveal itself only to the eyes for which it was intended.
"What is it?" she asked when the letter was tossed carelessly to the bed. He was on his feet and slipping into a dressing gown before he answered.
"A summons from Dumbledore. Emergency meeting. Midnight," he said tightly. "Get up."
A small whine escaped her as she fell back on the bed. "Why do I have to go?"
A blur of movement and a black wand was between her eyes, the man holding it wearing his most sarcastic smirk. "Because you are my prisoner, and a truly dangerous creature."
She laughed up at her lover, pushing the wand away from her face. "You're going to see how true that is in a moment, Severus Snape."
"Is that a threat, my lady?"
"Do you want it to be?"
For a moment, he considered her, then sneered. "You haven't what it takes to be a threat to me."
"Well," she returned soberly, slipping out of bed and into his arms, "we've discovered that. And, you owe me an answer before we go."
Gently, he pried her arms from around his neck and strode off in the direction of the lavatory. "It is foolish to ask questions to which you already know the answer, Emily Grey," he called over his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" she called after.
"I am in desperate need of a shower," his disembodied voice answered from beyond the door. A moment later his face, wearing an impatient glare appeared again. "As are you," he led sternly.
In seconds, she was at his side, wearing nothing but a broad grin.
Emily kicked the bedpost disconsolately, paced to the door, paused, then gave that a small kick as well. "Bloody Order," she muttered, retracing her steps a few more times.
How frustrating to be locked away yet again, taken away from Severus, out of his very bed as it were, to pace the floor of Sirius Black's old house, waiting for the Order to conclude their business - make their secret plans. She rolled her eyes at the thought. There was a chance, an infinitesimal chance, that they might defeat the Dark Lord. More than likely, though, they were merely postponing the inevitable.
Irritably she tapped a drum roll on the bureau with restless fingers, stealing a glance at the clock. One thirty. Five minutes later than the last time she checked. How long could these people drone on?! She wanted to go home!
She was stopped cold by the thought, then shrugged the shock away. It should come as no surprise to her that she'd come to consider her home to be wherever Severus Snape hung his cloak. Any other place would feel far too empty. Whether they would ever make their home together, however, was anyone's guess.
The look in his eyes when she had delivered her clumsy, half-drunken proposal had truly frightened her because he himself had seemed frightened. There was not much that alarmed him more than being forced to express or return what he would consider to be mawkish sentimentality.
Please don't let him turn me away again, she pleaded with whatever power might aid her, vowing at once to do whatever she had to do to prove to him that she would be a good wife, that she would never do anything to compromise his love for her. That's what I should have told him, she thought disdainfully, cursing her inelegance. The fact that I love him is old news, at this point he's likely to be tired of hearing it.
Mother of Merlin, what could be said to sway him? What could be done? There was only one thing for it, really, she'd simply have to keep out of trouble - which meant becoming someone else entirely, maybe even join the Order. There's a death sentence, she thought angrily. Perhaps she could promise to use magic only when working on the runes until she was freed. Perhaps she could soften her temper and moderate her lust for their master's power and simply nod and smile when she disagreed with Dumbledore and his ridiculous Order members.
A long, ragged sigh was pushed from her lungs. Right, and then perhaps Sev could start wearing powder blue and lavender robes. Any other ridiculous dreams?
"Madam, please!" came a breathless call from above her head, causing her introspection to come to a skidding stop, "could I possibly request your assistance?"
Her attention was drawn immediately upward to see that the formerly empty portrait was now occupied by a portly elder wizard with flaming red hair who bore a striking resemblance to the Weasley twins. Rather bulbous green eyes were made even larger by the obvious panic with which the man was stricken.
"What's wrong?" she asked coolly, more amused than worried. After all, had it been an emergency surely the man would have gone to someone else.
"It's the little one, Ginny," he continued hysterically. "She flooed home in secret to collect some books and her school uniform and I followed - just to see the old burrow again, but the place is overrun with Death Eaters."
A rush of terror shot through her releasing a nasty oath reserved for especially foul occasions. "How long has she been there?"
"Only a few minutes, but now her brother's followed after her."
"Idiot! Why didn't he get help?"
"He didn't know, Miss. Flooed over while I was attempting to help the little one hide."
She cursed again, rubbed the Mark on her arm unconsciously. There was no breaking the wards on her door. Ministry officials - bastards - had been present when Severus had locked her away, forcing him to make the seal unbreakable rather than cursory. Damn it all. Had it been only the boy she would've likely left him to his fate, potty little brat. But the little girl, well... that was different.
Really, there was only one option.
Pulling the wand from her sleeve, she quickly transfigured her robes into the now-unfamiliar garb of a Death Eater. A vase served as the bone-white mask.
"I can't go for help," she explained quickly, pulling the mask over her face and charming it into place. "I'm locked in.
"You're a prisoner?"
Before he could continue, she added. "But I can floo over."
"How did a prisoner get floo powder... or a wand for that matter," he asked in astonishment, "and how can you be trusted to..."
"Just shut it, a'right?" she snapped, pulling a small money pouch from her pocket. "I make a habit of always being prepared," she added a bit more civilly. "Is the way clear?"
"Through the kitchen, yes," he answered hesitantly. "Do hurry."
Opening the bag revealed the illusory contents, a few sickles and knuts. Only reaching in did one ascertain the few handfuls of floo powder that she kept for emergencies. Quickly, she scattered a small amount in the hearth causing a burst of glittering green flame, and glanced back up at the wide-eyed portrait.
"Right ... Well. Wish me luck!" she called cheerily, smiling past the sick feeling in her gut as she stepped into the fire.
Darklit Snapefan: Grinning is good. Favorite story, even for a second, is wonderful! Thanks for the good word.
Elessar Evenstar: I truly appreciate the pep-talk you gave Severus. He needs someone like you in his life, someone to say, "Here's the good stuff. Take it, take it, you crazy Potions Master!" Your compliments are so beautiful to me, especially reading them again after a dark period in my life. I must disagree with your assessment of my being a cruel author who doesn't care about my readers, though. I love you guys! Writing for you is the highlight of my life, no exaggeration. I just love to torture you. Color me twisted.
1lonelyangel: Really? You didn't see it coming? Yay me! I surprised the little lonely angel. I will do my damnedest to find a convenient opening in the story to explain how Sev and Emily survived being burned alive by Lucius.
sev lover: I truly hope that you didn't really die of curiosity in my long absence, andI'm glad you thought the chapter was "groovy." That's high praise in my book.
Queen of the Faeries: Something bad happen to my beloved characters? Just as things were looking up? Oh, Heaven forefend! I would never do that! (Chuckle) To answer your question, I speak a smattering of Italian and am in the process of attempting to become fluent, but most of this dialog came from my reference books. I doubt it's perfect, but I hope it isn't too incorrect.
Dianatyne: I'm so excited that you're excited. I hope that the anticipation hasn't waned too much in my absence. Thanks for the good word.
Sesshomaru's Angel: Please don't die! I didn't mean to keep you waiting this long!
Captain Oblivious!: If you read my next Alex installment, I promise you that, by the end of the story, you will be unable to dislike Lucius Malfoy. Hope to see you there. I'm glad that your English classes are over, Captain O. Good for you. I find your dislike of them rather amusing because I'm returning to school next Autumn to major in ... you guessed it ... English!
bluebird161221: Thank you so much for your reviews! I really appreciate them! I swear that that's the first time I've taken more than a week to update, so please don't give up on me. Read the apology at the top of the page and remind yourself that I'm not really that kind of author. Hope to hear from you again.
bxn 110: Thank you for the kind words. I promise that I update much more regularly than this, usually twice a week. Don't judge me by this lapse, please. Hope to hear from you again.
Intel Ewok: So glad you loved it. That makes my day! Yeah. I know what you mean. I want him, too. Damn, he's perfect!
Quietude: Thank you for having the kindness to tell me that you would be going. I don't know if you'll ever get around to reading this, but I've really enjoyed having you as reviewer and I hope to see you again. Sounds like your life is getting more interesting in a good way, so good on you, and good luck! I will truly miss you.